I realized I was so hungup on this guy because of the agency he had over his dating life. He's attractive and fit (like me), but he's not that special. Yet somehow, he manages to get what he wants at every turn without any emotional repercussions. He's truly living on "easy mode." I was his fall-back option that he could use at his whim. It sounds nice, to have girls falling for you left and right who you can summon at your whim. It sounds nice to have the support of a community and the mental/emotional position to not have this effect you. I wish I could operate from this position of confidence and agency, but obviously I wouldn't abuse my power in this way.

Anyways...having felt victimized by guys like this...I wish I was as talented in attracting who I wanted and be able to feel confident in my ability to move through life.