Wives With Baby Strollers

I was at huge party at bowling alley a little while back and I saw two different women trying to thread their way through the melee pushing baby strollers. They both looked new mom stressed with the stroller wheels constantly catching on chair legs. In thick crowds no one looks down, so basically everyone was clueless to the infants behind them. Half a dozen times people backed into the strollers or simply jostled the poor women as they tried to get through.

In both cases,  walking behind the wives… were their husbands.

Correct protocol is to walk in front of your stroller pushing wife and using your all purpose protective menace create an invisible shield around them both and guide the crowd out of the way. The family stick on your tail and follow you through.

Helpful is using a firm voice and saying something like, “baby coming through”. Most people automatically move out of the way. You don’t ask politely, you just announce it. Also being a male you are probably taller and look a greater threat than your wife, so you automatically get a better dominant profile to get people to move out of your way. You’re definitely taller than a stroller so people can see you better.

Jennifer and I do this sort of thing in thick crowds even without a stroller. I’m tall so can see where the gaps are, she just sticks close behind me as I pick a way through. The best way to do this sort of thing is to look at her directly in the eye and using your best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice say, “come with me if you want to live”. Then just grab her hand and start pulling her through the crowd.

It’s perhaps a little much for the grocery store on Saturday morning though.