Since we’ve kinda touched on it in the last comment thread, I thought now would be a good time to write about a very nice, and very interesting, Christmas Dinner I was invited to.
It was held at the home of a prominent Ivy League academic, specializing in Africana and Carribean Studies, and as one might guess, not soon after my Lady and I arrived, a vigorous discussion ensued round the huge wooden dinner table in the dining room. Among the topics discussed, was President Barack Obama’s first year in office and his policies thus far, as well as his responsibility to African Americans in exchange for their staunch support; the War in Afghanistan, the Economy, and of course, Tiger Woods.
But, as it always happens when Black folk of any stripe come together, the conversation invariably turned to Black Male/Female Relationships, and proceeded pretty much along the lines of the recent Nightline special that featured comedian, talkshow host and author Steve Harvey (I’ll have more to say about Harvey in due course)-*why* Black Men and boys were having such a hard time “showing up”. Our host was doing some work for one of the state’s educational system, and wanted everyone’s input on the question.
My comments were not very positive, I’m afraid-I told everyone, that there were several very powerful forces at work that account for what we see:
1. There will be, nor can Black Men expect, any major public policy initiatives to tackle the Black boys failing in school issue, or any related issues such as incarceration or employment, because as I recently noted in my post Brothas Gonna Work It Out-Alone, ANY such proposal is a political nonstarter. Simply put, Whites-particularly White Males-simply will not stand for public monies being diverted to assist a segment of the population that is widely seen as a victim of its own pathologies. Like it or not, the “Black Male brand” has been seriously damaged, and one cannot expect much in the way of public support outside increased police presence, etc. So, expect very little from Obama on this score.
2. If things are going to change for the better, Black Men as a group, largely independent of government, will have step up. The big problem with this is, that the Black Middle and Upper Middle Class, is heavily comprised of, and dependent upon, the government apparatus, at all levels (local, state, federal) for its livelihood-in other words, most of the Black Middle Class aren’t net producers. They’re at best service providers, and governmental ones at that, if not simply in the resource transfer business. One reason why the Black Male unemployment rate is so high is because there aren’t enough Black folk in the private business sector that can absorb these Black Men. Moreover, working for government or quasi-governmental entities and agencies tends to bend one’s thinking and mindset toward a governmental way of dong things-hence, when such topics come up, the go-to move or position is one where government is required to do something or spend something. Of course, this can’t help Black Men enmasse.
3. Finally, and no one ever stops to consider this-but a very simple and parsimonious reason as to why school at nearly all levels turns off so many Black Men and boys, is simply because they don’t want to be there. Freedom means just that-the freedom to be, or NOT to be. A lot of people automatically think of Freedom in its best light, a well-intentioned view, but also a very naive one as well. A lot of people have a very hard time getting their head around the fact that a lot of Black Men aren’t interested in such pursuits. And they’re not alone-its starting to happen in the White Middle Class and even Asian communites. When people don’t have to do something, they won’t-and, just like we as a society haven’t come up w/a more convincing message to sway would-be Al-Qaeda suicide bombers from joining their cause, we haven’t made a compelling case to Black Men and boys as to why they sit still and endure years of boring-to-tears stuff that has at best limited utility in the realworld.
Thus, I concluded, outside of small enclave-like programs, or one-on-one mentoring, in the main, we can expect to take considerable casualties insofar as Black Men are concerned.
That, of course, leaves Black Women, who are more and more, getting educations and good to great jobs. While some have suggested that they date and/or marry outside the race, and so forth, I posit that the likely scenario for most in that cohort is a string of transient relationships of Black Men of varying stripe while younger, interspersed with years of being alone. Since Black Women, like all Women, have great difficulty seeing things in this regard with clear eyes, it will be very hard to embrace what lies in store for a great many of them in the coming years. Simply put-theres not enough of the kinds of Black Men these Women want, and this will mean they will have to decide on a number of options:
1. Sign up to be part of a de facto harem (see: Tiger Woods)
2. Become a Jumpoff Girl (again see Tiger above)
3. Date White or otherwise non-Black Men (not hugely likely, outside of a few outliers for a whole host of reasons)
4. Become lesbians (see Alice Walker)
5. Consider Black Men from Africa or the Carribean (which brings with it its own set of unique challenges)
6. And finally, SETTLE for a Black Men who may not have as much formal education or make as much money, but he is of good character.
Trust me when I tell you, you will see all the other five options tried before you’ll see the sixth one attempted, because the very idea of ANY “settling” is anathema. And when you understand Evolutionary Psychology, you know why this is so. I’ll have a lot more to say about this, in due course. Stay tuned.
Anyway, like I said, we had a heck of a Xmas dinner, and looking forward toward breaking bread with those good folks again in the near future!
Holla back
The Obsidian
