"BBC News - School sends teenage boys for etiquette lessons" - seriously? It's like they're being punished just for being boys.

Riesea · 2012-12-13T18:52:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2012-12-13T20:39:14+00:00

The tone and intention of these kinds of schemes is crucial, and it's very hard to know what to make of it from the BBC report. The reporter starts by asking the girls, who we understand to be princesses who don't need any etiquette lessons, what they think of their male classmates. They're smelly and uncouth, say the princesses. So the boys are sent off to learn how to wash behind their ears and the right way to bow and scrape to a princess.

So the important questions are: If the girls are believed to be princesses, then are the boys believed to be princes? Or are they at least frogs who can be turned into princes with a little kindness and attention? Or are they just churls who are being dressed up to meet their social betters? And if these princes are learning how best to compliment and complement their princesses, are the princesses getting reciprocal lessons on how to treat their princes?

As far as the content goes, some of it seems useful, for example how to iron a shirt. Some of it seems pointless to me, for example showing 16 year old boys how to handle wine in a restaurant. Then again, some boys are privileged enough to learn those kinds of skills from their parents, and the boys who fall through the cracks are left with an anxiety that they don't have the skills to act the way they're expected to act in a certain social situation.

There's been an assumption that boys are already privileged, that the patriarchy will look after them. Clearly, that's not the case. So it's a good thing to separate the boys off and make sure they have all the life skills they need. I think boys do respond well to being given strict and clearly-stated standards. But the most important thing is that the lessons come from genuine respect and concern for the boy, and not as some sort of remedial training for second class citizens to know their place.

OlearysCow · 2012-12-14T03:31:02+00:00

so when are they going to send the women to finishing school?

Makes_U_Mad · 2012-12-13T20:16:13+00:00

I don't have a problem with this. Many young men have difficultly operating in any sort of public sortee, how can showing them the accepted mannerisms hurt? At least then if these fellows decide not to follow them, they will not be surprised at the reaction...

2012-12-13T22:41:00+00:00

When I saw the title I thought "Not bad, seems like it'll help them get ahead in life, if anything they should be giving the girls this opportunity too."

Then I watched the first minute that was basically "Boys smell, we have to indoctrinate them." GAH.

MechPlasma · 2012-12-13T19:37:11+00:00

Awwww goddamnit! Seriously?

I mean, not only is this several different kinds of sexist, but... etiquette lessons? If there's one thing I learned from Hawaii (aside from Screw You, people who think nobody's racist against white people), it's that any kind of standardised 'proper society' lessons are a horrible horrible idea! At best, they make it tougher to interact with ordinary people, and at worst they outright encourage bigotry!

Although with Hawaii that's because one entire language (Creole English - half-way mix of English and Hawaiian, and is pretty great) is sometimes considered completely 'improper', so... I suppose it's a bit bigger than just what this is doing. Either way, I still disapprove.

gwolf100 · 2012-12-14T03:47:09+00:00

Some of these are just basic life skills in which case the entire school should be there

Title	"BBC News - School sends teenage boys for etiquette lessons" - seriously? It's like they're being punished just for being boys.
Author	ZeroError
Upvotes	19
Comments	13
Date	December 13, 2012 6:44 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/14spu2/bbc_news_school_sends_teenage_boys_for_etiquette/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/bbc-news-school-sends-teenage-boys-for-etiquette.1006704 https://theredarchive.com/post/1006704

Comments