[help] My 32/m cousin has a 1/f child with a 21/f. They're engaged but going through rough times. What does he need to know?

pcarvious · 2012-01-07T04:29:06+00:00

If he's not married to her, then he needs to file with the fathers registry in his state and establish his parental rights. He should talk to a family law attorney and get the forms.

If he or she isn't working at this time they should find work.

At the first sign of domestic abuse he needs to record it and show it to the cops. Taking the child and running will get him charged with kidnapping. Also, if he has any rocky relationship with his folks he needs to smooth that out and quickly. In case of separation his parents may be able to push for custody even if he can't. Depends on the laws if the state.

I know there's a lot I'm missing, but he needs to establish paternity immediately if he wants his parental rights respected at all.

mikesteane · 2012-01-07T05:50:44+00:00

He needs to get it through to her that her highest evolutionary priority is to have healthy well-adjusted children. This will come about by co-operating with the biological father and not by any other means. So that even if they cannot resolve their personal differences, she should understand the enormous value of parental cooperation.

Also they need to establish how to separate amicably if necessary. Getting lawyers involved will firstly reduce the size of the cake so much that even the "winner" is a loser, secondly cause unnecessary acrimony and thirdly introduce state interference to their private affairs.

However, before any of this, it would be good to introduce the idea that dissolving a marriage when there is a child involved because the parents want something else ought to be regarded as an act of appalling selfishness.

c0mputar · 2012-01-07T04:31:38+00:00

Yup he's pretty fucked. Get a lawyer, but a guy who lives at home (presumably doesn't make much money?) isn't going to fare well in court when he's trying to argue for shared custody.

He should try to move out with her or he'll probably end up paying child support if she decides she needs more money, more money than your cousin will be able to afford likely. He's not getting primary custody.

That all said, if he is even thinking of not moving in with her, he should at least consult a lawyer.

typhonblue · 2012-01-07T03:08:56+00:00

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Liverotto · 2012-01-07T13:02:17+00:00

cousin's family's house

Florida

she wants to take the kid with her

At this point he should pretend he has become homosexual, for real, that's the only way to prevent her to tell the judge that your cousin molested his own daughter, to get 100% certainty of custody and child support.

atheistunicycle · 2012-01-07T05:21:07+00:00

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Title	[help] My 32/m cousin has a 1/f child with a 21/f. They're engaged but going through rough times. What does he need to know?
Author	atheistunicycle
Upvotes	9
Comments	13
Date	January 7, 2012 2:55 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/o6adv/help_my_32m_cousin_has_a_1f_child_with_a_21f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/help-my-32m-cousin-has-a-1f-child-with-a-21f.1029552 https://theredarchive.com/post/1029552

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