There was no connection.

Morphs_ · 2018-07-20T05:56:54+00:00

You messed this one up, let me explain.

So she admits to feeling a bit slutty after having kissed you, despite the fact that we all know girls are capable of this, and more. So at that moment you should have shown her that you're not judgmental and that you don't consider her a slut.

However, how do you respond? You chose to frame her into a slut for even thinking about something physical and you even go all diva on her because you're "not that easy", which means you think she's easy. She feels isolated and shamed. Of course she doesn't want to hang out with you anymore.

What you could have said: "I had a great time with you and your passion was a nice surprise, I liked that." and you could add a little banter with A&A: "..but if you want we can write each other letters the next month ;)"

Or did I show beta tendencies?

No, you failed a comfort test by judging her instead. Learn to feel what her emotional needs are and as a simple rule of thumb, never judge a woman, especially in the domain of sex/physicality.

TimPartendale · 2018-07-20T05:01:21+00:00

Na, I’d say there was a connection or else she wouldn’t have texted you the “take it slow crap” nor made out with you. She probably felt slighted when you demonstrated some sort of push back to her “take it slow” BS.

Most beta dudes would have responded with “okay,” enter her frame and walk on egg shells else they risk losing her. You didn’t give a shit (or at least texted in such a manner). This shifted the power back to you.

For her to regain power from the situation is by ending it, flaking, or throwing more shit tests. Otherwise, she would enter your frame. She realized she couldn’t make you beg for her attention and was probably looking for someone a little more complacent/doormatish. She’s 29? She’s looking for a provider, as her internal clock is ticking.

Granted this assessment is from the details you provided. I was not present on your date.

DaftOdyssey · 2018-07-20T13:23:13+00:00

Ahh this reminds me of this time where I joined this new classmate, I just had known for two weeks, for drinks on a weekend. Upon arriving at the bar, it was apparent that he went for his best friend's birthday, which is this HB9 babe that he had known for at least five years. And also his groups of friends.

Long story short: I made myself comfortable as fuck, and when I spoke to the group I did so in a controlled deep manner. She immediately gave me good IOI physically by putting her hand on my knee and would move her hand around it when she talked to everyone, and I had responded by place my arm behind hers and just touch her back slightly. Anyways, the night kept going, and when we changed bars she immediately started to make out we me. I was caught off guard since I was grabbing some drinks for myself. The best part was that she made this "beta orbitor" buy me drinks lol After that my classmate took everyone to his place to continue drinking, and as everyone got done we stayed in my classmates truck and fucked there for a good while. We got down and feel as sleep at the sofa. Woke up next morning, left on a Uber to my class to get ready for class.

Once I get to my place, she sends me this long as text saying how she has never done this, especially with a guy she just met and how she apologizes for all the stupid things she or we did. I couldn't believe she was apologizing for the things she did, so I laughed it off. I didn't replied.

Three days later, I met again with my classmate and he's telling me how crazy our weekend was and what not. But was surprised me the most is that the HB9 babe was a virgin, and that I was the first guy she ever fucked. I couldn't believe what I was hearing lmao but that makes me understand why she was being all apologetic, so I hit her with a text "I don't know about you, but I don't mind doing stupid shit again" and she immediately replied with a "Yeah I wouldn't either" and that's when I knew I got my new plate, although she only spun for a couple of months since she graduated and move back home.

What I learned from this is that girls would do anything for a guy she's attracted to. No matter if she'll look like a "slut" the next day after breaking her virginity with a guy she just met for a couple of hours. As long as the guy plays his cards right. And that whenever she feels ashamed or embarrassed by her sexual behavior, just got to let her know in a indirect way that you were okay with it. Because if you don't, what just happened to you will be the result.

talexanderc · 2018-07-20T03:44:16+00:00

Good old 29 year old ASD. She's pribably alpha widowed from her time in the CC

MakeMenGreatAgain44 · 2018-07-20T16:26:39+00:00

Your reply was kinda beta imo

boy_named_su · 2018-07-20T16:50:29+00:00

She's a dumb girl and can't decide. Just tell her what to do.

"I'm going to 'fun thing x at time t'. Meet me there". Then escalate

gabrielshang · 2018-07-20T10:01:58+00:00

You sound like you caught a oneitis, next her and move on.

Title	There was no connection.
Author	b00mstik15
Upvotes	12
Comments	12
Date	July 20, 2018 3:18 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/90cgys/there_was_no_connection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/there-was-no-connection.103190 https://theredarchive.com/post/103190

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