So, this will sound a little pathetic.

I guess you could say I’m a recovering “Incel”. I used to be beta as fuck, far from Alpha, but I’m committed to self-improvement.

During my lowest points (I’m 21), my only social interactions was with a discord server based on Skyrim. I met a girl on there, who was a year my senior and she is across the sea (I’m Aussie) but, because no girl had ever shown me that kind of attention my dumb ass fell for her immediately.

Now, because I knew this wouldn’t end well (honestly have no chance. She’s a 8/10 on a bad day, career-based and get this.. virgin) I kept telling myself how I would eventually be devastated when she fucks her first guy. I mean, she’s in LA, is bound to happen and I still cling to NAWALT. So, after cutting ties and eventually some self improvement I actually managed to lose my virginity to a sloot, thought that this would give me confidence. Nope

I’m still tempted to reinstall discord and check on this girl almost everyday. I know it’s pathetic, hell we never have even Skyped, but I just convinced myself I needed her and that. Is there a way out ?