Posted this in /r/feminisms, nothing really happened, still interested in a discussion. Can you provide it?

I had endured long periods of turmoil before I formulated two simple rules, which from then on defined my whole gender policy. I wish to share them, because they are capable of solving social situations our current ideas of gender only aggravate.

Culture, language and etiquette all have a gender-dependent aspect and curing that would mean replacing a vast part of them. A person simply can't perform certain activities without being classified as either male or female. Therefore I say:

1)Gender is not a fixed constant for anyone.

2)Gender is a function of power.

I am a man to those inferior to me and a woman to those superior to me. Among friends and equals I am what I feel like being. What is exactly regarded to as superior or inferior can be agreeed upon, but it's usually the commonly accepted things- intelligence, authority, achievements.

Problems solved this way are mainly ones in social groups and relationships:

  • In a couple with children, the inferior partner, the "woman" takes care of the children instead of chasing career and personal growth.

  • In social groups, superior members are allowed to speak loudly and take up lots of space.

  • The superior person has to be the one to make the first steps to establish a relationship.

The whole idea of these laws is justified by the fact that the gender stereotypes of the past are also power-based. But this power was rather physical than anything else. Nowadays what we refer to as superiority can be entirely different.