my ex is full of lies in court custody battle...

strangersadvice · 2011-01-17T05:16:50+00:00

Gawd... we need to do a seminar on this stuff.

First, the Judge should be reminded by your lawyer what are just baseless allegations. Second, If you have proof, bring it to your lawyer. Are you on Trial or filing Motions. Get a Legal Aid to help draw up Motions to save on Attorney's fees. Third, Attack the reason you are on Supervised Visitation. Go to therapy with a forensic therapist and get his report submitted to the record (this cost me $7,000). Once the forensic therapist gives you a clean bill and the judge accepts it you might get the kids more. If it's rehab you need, do rehab... give the Judge something to work with.

To answer your Q: She will get yelled at... but nothing will happen except that you might get more time with the kids.

1.) Keep your cool.

2.) Document everything : Keep a journal (especially about contact with the child).

3.) Record phone calls (if legal in your state).

4.) Start communicating by email only, if possible. [and don't say anything that could turn around and bite you in the ass]... be short, clear, and nice.

5.) Write down clearly the various incidents that happened. include dates and time as best you can.

6.) Do not grant her temporary custody without a trial (you seek this).

7.) Do not accept a restraining order against you with out a trial (it is a slippery slope and could really screw you later).

8.) Get a good lawyer (one who is know to the local courts and has a good reputation...not as a Men's Rights attorney, but as a respected attorney the Judge can trust).

9.) Try to prove that she is unfit to mother.

10.) Do not fight in front of the kid... use email and keep them for court.

11.) Do try counseling.

12.) Do try mediation.

13.) Do not communicate through the child... not even notes. Do everything to insulate the child from the BS.

14.) Show the Judge you are the good guy, and if she acts bad, show the Judge you are the victim, even if you have to take it on the chin. Do not fight her back. (in fact, give her the opportunity to be mean to you for no reason... it demonstrates her character to the Judge, and when you don't fight back, it demonstrates yours).

-You have a long uphill battle ahead that you will likely lose. It will be cheaper to patch it up with her if you can bear it.

~4 years into custody battle here.

*Edit: Loose:lose (Neoprene)

rugabug · 2011-01-17T03:20:12+00:00

1) Get a recording device 2) Get her into a private area 3) Start recording w/o her knowing 4) Get her to admit she was lying 5) Give evidence to your lawyer 6) Profit edit: First make sure your state allows this (ie make sure it isn't considered wiretapping, etc).

12rjc12 · 2011-01-17T01:37:43+00:00

It's called "perjury", generally frowned upon by courts.

braats007 · 2011-01-17T17:05:22+00:00

thanks for the comments and the support. she even aborted our second son without my consent cause we are common law , while I was away working on a oil rig, this is after we went to the ultra sound clinic and they told us we had a healthy baby boy on the way, aged 4 months when he was aborted....her legal aid just smiled at me and said that doesnt matter, but I still live with resentment towards her for taking my second sons life.

fdcckg6 · 2011-01-17T07:42:08+00:00

With enough cunning, there are various ways you can beat her. But like many wars, you may both end up losing. Another approach may be better.

2011-01-17T08:27:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BlueberryHotdog · 2011-01-18T18:11:36+00:00

Here's my story.

Mother was addicted to drugs, fought for child support to pay for drugs. Luckily, before the hearing she was arrested and sentenced to a few years, I won custody by default.

A few years later, she gets out. Hasn't paid support. I moved from one state to another and by doing that gave her a chance to petition for a custody modification. Fair? Not really. But I can understand why they do it (to keep people from running off with the kids and not giving the non-custodial parent, usually a dad, a chance for their say).

I get a lawyer because she does. My lawyer says "We don't have to prove she's lying. We just have to prove that the kid is in a good place with you. When she lies in court (which she did) don't bat an eye. Just stay looking normal no matter how outlandish it is. We won't get up there and berate her, we'll just talk about how awesome you are. Let her look like a wench, you'll look better. Judges can read between the lines". After our hearing my lawyer said it would take 10 days for a decision. We got it in 3 hours.

I know not everything is exactly the same, but I have no doubt my lawyers advice helped. By making her look like a lunatic and just playing cool and proving how awesome I am as a person and a dad, we easily won. So, I still have custody of my daughter, just like I always have, and her mom is racking up support. Which is another topic....

polyphasic0007 · 2011-01-17T04:05:12+00:00

just throw it right back

hoow come she can accuse you of rape but you can't accuse her of cheating on you?

Title	my ex is full of lies in court custody battle...
Author	braats007
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	January 17, 2011 1:19 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f3ita/my_ex_is_full_of_lies_in_court_custody_battle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-ex-is-full-of-lies-in-court-custody-battle.1044269 https://theredarchive.com/post/1044269

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