After my divorce and losing custody of my kids, I've been convinced that marriage is a bad deal and that I would stay the hell away from it.

I've never ruled out the possibility of a long-term, happy relationship, but I've never felt that it would be smart for me to get tangled up in a marriage. Further, I don't think that "Ms. Right" would feel that she needs us to be legally married either.

Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men... I've met a wonderful girl! Our relationship is going great. She makes each day a little brighter and makes me want to do more and try harder at everything I do. My friends (both our mutual and ones I've had for years) see us as a good thing. She and I would love to see us continue, but the catch is that she is a foreign national who is in the country to study English. Her visa expires in two months and we're both dreading that day. She's even mentioned that she is already planning a return trip and said that the main reason that she has to leave in September is so that she can stay perfectly eligible to apply for another visa.

She's got a good job as an engineer back home, she makes enough money of on her own that she could afford a 6 month sabbatical to come here and study, and we were introduce by a mutual friend - all this, plus the fact that she's never mentioned the "m" word, makes me feel that she's not just trying to use me just to get residency.

At any rate, I'm thinking that I want to spend many years to come with this girl and that the best way for us to do that is marriage. She's met my girls and they all get along well... all signs point to "go for it", but before I get myself in trouble again, I'd just like to make sure I'm planning ahead, asking the right questions and covering my bases. Has anyone been thru the K immigration or green card process? Is there something specific I should watch out for? And, yes there will need to be a prenup.

Thanks for sharing your "second try worked for me" or "look out for landmines" stories.