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I'm sick of being a nice guy to people but they won't respect me otherwise. What can I do?

exbetamale
May 3, 2016
5 upvotes
/r/askTRP
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Post Information
Title I'm sick of being a nice guy to people but they won't respect me otherwise. What can I do?
Author

exbetamale
Upvotes 5
Comments 7
Date May 3, 2016 10:54 AM UTC
(10 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4hmp4e/im_sick_of_being_a_nice_guy_to_people_but_they/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-sick-of-being-a-nice-guy-to-people-but-they.104893
https://theredarchive.com/post/104893
Red Pill terms in post
nice guy
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Comments

[–]Fielder57 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Rule number one - Very few people respect the nice guy, Respect and fear and closely related. You can be as nice as pie 99% of the time but the second shit goes down people understand that you will not stand for it.

[–]thor_away92 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This right here. I'm your greatest friend until bullshit arises, then you're getting called out on it and then they get X'd out.

[–]BeHere2234 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Be nice with those you care about, at the most. Do not let people walk over you though. If you are already there, you'll need to start biting back. Discern jokes from putdowns and stand up for yourself.

Remember though, if you start being an asshole just to get respect from people, you'll start getting heat from those that don't fear you, so be yourself, and don't let them walk all over you.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I suspect you have shitty skills at setting boundaries and understanding when people are manipulating you. Maybe you seek validation in what people think of you because of it?

If you haven't read them, read "when i say no I feel guilty" and "no more mr nice guy".

[–]BeHere2234 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree, boundaries are important. As UEM says, sometimes people use you as a tool to gain respect, make others laugh, pull themselves up, etc.

The key is to recognize this and give back as good as you get. Those that don't agree with this attitude are those that would like to keep you down.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Read the sidebar. Read 'No More Mr Nice Guy'.

[–]SirWazzaBrookBanks 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Provide more context man, it's hard to suggest a course of action unless you give some examples.

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