Ok this is going to be a long post so thanks in advance for bearing with it.

After reading TRP I pretty much realized where I fucked up. However I am sure there are many of you out there who can deconstruct her psyche much better than me. I just ask you to do me a favor and taking my word for it that this girl still has hope.

Basically, this girl and I go way back. On and off chased her for a few years and when she was single I was attached and when she was attached I was single and eventually we both found each other near the end of school. I remember not giving a fuck then because I just didn't give a fuck about life proper not just relationships, thought I was going nowhere so fuck it. Continued hardcore partying and not giving a fuck. Occasionally texted her and talked to her. Wasn't needy. Got her so riled up she fucking forced herself onto me. Got up and left, her crying. She called me multiple times asking me to pick up and I refused.

Few days later I say I miss her body and she comes over and we fuck like hell.

Anyways why I say she's a good person is because she did a hell of a lot for me without me asking for it. She would take an hour bus ride to my place and back every day without ever complaining and would squeal in happiness on the rare days I sent her to the bus stand. She literally changed herself and put in her all for me, and I slowly started to appreciate it.

Long story short, she gets me to get my life together. In all honesty, the way a bro would. Without asking for anything in return. It started out as great sex and it turned into me starting to view her as LTR material. Unfortunately I was an "alpha" not because I knew TRP or anything but because I really was in the shit of my life and I didn't fucking care.

Anyways this is where I fuck up. I invest too much. She goes overseas to study, sees a whole new world, and the less she starts to invest the more I do. I completely become betafied. Now I realize my mistake.

Anyways I just fucking missed all the fucking huge red flags she gave me, things like "youre loving me too much and I don't know how to repay it" "I can't love you back the way you do" "I am starting to feel very guilty at all this love you're giving me" We talk about breaking up a few times and when I say no, I don't, she says "ok, but then you're going to have to love me a lot less". Anyway I eventually get so fucking tired I agree to a split.

Thing is, she was lovely all this while and still put in effort despite her busy schedule to talk and all. But what happened was halfway through her mum and dad decide to split and she gets fucking mortified and I think because of that she started to fear commitment. Says she doesn't want to be responsible for anyones feelings, that she doesn't want to commit, that she wants to go see the world. Cries buckets for her parents but doesn't want to come back and fix it, travels all over the place to escape. In this sense I can tell she's still quite immatured. Complete daddy's girl. (Dad btw starts behaving like a beta to try to guilt mum into getting back) yet she still loves him alot.

She's coming back during the break and prior to us breaking up she said she wanted everyone she loved in a single room during her birthday. Never said anything about me being uninvited after the split.

She's also bringing her hot girlfriend back with her and says she wants me to meet her. Also says that she promises that when the issue with her parents get fixed or when she wants to ever get into a relationship ever again she will always put me first on the list.

I know all of you are gonna jump at me and say that's fucking bullshit, that's entering into her frame, that's agreeing to be a beta orbiter, etc. But I know when I didn't give a fuck she was all over me. There was a period of time where I visited her and we argued everyday but even when I left for a bit she told me she missed having me around. And when I was there she did everything for me. So it tells me there's still hope for this.

Im quite a beta skinny dude but i've been hitting the gym hard and getting a tan and all. Been working on my inner game too.

My plan is to ignore her and give her friend the attention when we meet, just tease her and try to get her hamster going, and completely blow her away with the new me when she's back. Get back into that DGAF mentality.

Don't know about the birthday tho, not sure whether I should do anything there or even go for it or go absent.

I really do see potential in this girl but I know I've fucked up pretty bad but still see hope for this. Any advice would be appreciated, any advice other than "forget this, cut your losses." Because even if it ends, I want it to end on my terms.

Any advice on how to game her and what to do when she's back will be appreciated. My idea is not to get back immediately, but leave enough want and excitement and good memories in her that when she comes back for good she will want it. In the mean time though, gonna go work on myself. Lay it all on me guys.

Thanks in advance.