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domestic violence shelters for men - discussion

[deleted]

October 19, 2008

8 upvotes

/r/MensRights

http://punkassblog.com/2008/10/18/domestic-violence-against-men/

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Post Information

Title	domestic violence shelters for men - discussion
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	6
Date	October 19, 2008 4:04 AM UTC (17 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/7801m/domestic_violence_shelters_for_men_discussion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/domestic-violence-shelters-for-men-discussion.1056291 https://theredarchive.com/post/1056291

Comments

[–]elissa1959 0 points1 point2 points 17 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Ooh, I can't reach the site, but in general, it's a great idea. Domestic shelters provide a safe place in the short run as well as help and support to rebuild what you'd need in your life to create more permanent safety.

However, I personally think that as a society we do really poorly in healing people. I'd like to see more effort put into healing 'victims' of crime or violence as well as healing perpetrators. The latter would potentially be a huge investment of time and energy, but our current model is to throw them out, either in jails if they've committed a criminal act, or rejecting them as a member of a family, where they've committed violence.

(Mind you, safety comes first. I think the rejection of reintegration the family is due to us being pretty shitty at healing perpetrators, and so they recommit violence.)

(Added: my commitment to healing perpetrators is from a type of co-counseling I was involved in for years. The basic theory was that anyone could reclaim their full inherent goodness. Just took time and resource.

However, in the case of consistent and dangerous family violence, time and resources might not be available and so reintegrating the family has to be chosen on a family by family basis.)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 17 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]elissa1959 0 points1 point2 points 17 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I did get to read it later on.

I thought it was a good article, pretty much brought up all the relevant issues.

I agree with you about the current model being stupid... are you sure it' only $15 per meal? I've heard that it costs the taxpayers about $35K a year to house a prisoner. Imagine if we have anything like that available to heal people instead of cage them (again, I warn you, I'm an idealist.)

but it's a bit pollyannish to think that they can be reintegrated without time away and without some firm conditions.

I completely agree. I don't think I was really recommending this, for the reasons you suggest. And I'm not even sure that all violent people can be healed out of it :-(

It's like waging peace instead of war, though. We put so much money into one avenue (separation and/or jail, in this case) that we've hardly even looked at what the other avenue might require.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 17 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]BinaryShadow -1 points0 points1 point 17 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]elissa1959 0 points1 point2 points 17 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link