Going to my husbands friends wedding, advice please

ezer_kenegdo · 2021-08-22T01:45:02+00:00

I think we need more detail...is this just for a weekend or longer if this is going to be your vacation? How long have you been married and why was is so bad that you have trauma for anyone else's wedding?

Without full background, just by going off of the post, you sound whiney. He's asking you to, it sounds Ike it's a close friend...just go. Either make new memories in the city that are more pleasant or take the rest of your vacation in a place close by that's more agreeable to you.

Eventually you are going to have to get over your feelings, and you can use this opportunity to help you do so. Make it a special evening for you two, buy an extra pretty dress, get a really nice hotel room, dance and have a good meal with your husband.

samjsmrnm · 2021-08-22T01:55:28+00:00

Absolutely go. Have a great time and be supportive to your husband. He obviously wants you there, it could be a lovely time if you want it to be.

rosesonthefloor · 2021-08-22T01:56:08+00:00

I’m hearing a lot of negatives here. If this is how you’re thinking about it, of course it’s not going to be a positive or enjoyable experience!

A couple thoughts: it might help to switch your mindset on this if your husband really wants you to come. Is it so bad to be there for him? Can you reframe your thinking and force yourself to confront the negative thoughts and try and replace them with positive ones? I.e. “I hate weddings” to “it’s great that these two people love each other enough to get married” or “I don’t want to be here” to “Supporting my husband is a way to remind him that I love him, and appreciate when he also supports me.”

It also might be good to confront this issue sooner rather than later - what will you do when your kids gets married, for example? Or any other family that would be disappointed if you weren’t there?

Have you spoken to a therapist about your lingering feelings from your own wedding? Is there a possibility for a vow renewal at your next major anniversary that you can start planning for as a way to turn it into a happy thing instead of a sad one?

Perhaps if your hopes were to do something else for a “kid-free” trip, you can negotiate another trip this year where you can also be kid-free if that helps take the edge off and give you something else to look forward to?

Last, and I say this with as much kindness as possible: ultimately, this isn’t about you. If you feel so strongly that you will be miserable and there’s nothing to be done about it, don’t go. Let your husband and his friends enjoy a happy day celebrating their union. If you can’t be there and be supportive (or at the very least pleasantly neutral) then it wouldn’t be fair for anyone (including yourself) to be there.

Title	Going to my husbands friends wedding, advice please
Author	Flibberdajibbet
Upvotes	1
Comments	3
Date	August 22, 2021 1:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/p9390k/going_to_my_husbands_friends_wedding_advice_please/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/going-to-my-husbands-friends-wedding-advice-please.1059397 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059397

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