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rosesonthefloor Archive

View 34 posts and 4,488 comments by rosesonthefloor on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
191

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen04/04/21 11:25 PM
56

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen02/12/21 08:48 PM
49

RELATIONSHIPSrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen28/02/20 02:48 AM
46

FIELD REPORTrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 06:24 PM
38

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWives05/04/21 01:11 AM
32

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen05/07/21 02:52 PM
26

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen17/08/21 05:25 PM
25

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen12/10/21 02:00 AM
22

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen04/02/20 07:36 PM
21

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen11/07/21 03:22 AM
15

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWives26/10/20 07:19 PM
15

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen01/11/20 06:11 PM
15

LTR/MARRIAGErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 04:19 PM
15

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWives01/10/20 06:38 PM
14

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 09:46 PM
14

LTR/MARRIAGErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen03/01/20 03:48 AM
14

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen30/07/22 05:45 PM
12

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen24/01/20 02:10 PM
12

Purge week!rosesonthefloor/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/21 07:02 PM
10

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 12:04 AM
10

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen11/05/21 01:37 PM
10

Discussionrosesonthefloor/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 12:34 PM
7

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen24/11/21 06:49 PM
7

RELATIONSHIPSrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen07/12/20 06:15 PM
5

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen19/01/20 08:36 AM
5

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 09:44 PM
5

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen23/02/22 03:52 PM
3

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen25/11/20 07:12 PM
3

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen16/02/21 08:26 PM
3

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen01/06/21 04:58 AM
3

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen03/09/21 08:19 AM
2

DATING ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 10:38 PM
1

DISCUSSIONrosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen30/12/20 10:11 PM
0

ADVICErosesonthefloor/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 05:07 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 4,488 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

You said you’d like to salvage your marriage, but what is left to salvage? Your husband has disrespected your marriage vows and lied to you about it. If you’re okay with knowing that he will very likely keep cheating, then sure, you can look at trying to talk with him about setting boundaries like making sure you don’t know the details, etc. But based on your comment about this being devastating to you, I don’t think this is something you’d be okay with. Also think about the fact that whatever c…
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 02:25 AM
21

You’re so right on making it appealing to have a child. Why would I have a child if I’m forced to go back to work after 6 weeks or lose my job, when at 6 weeks I’m still physically recovering, baby doesn’t have a solid circadian rhythm yet, and I’m exhausted and sleep deprived and just…. Forced to get through it? That sounds miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 12:43 PM
13

Low birthing rates are tied to far more factors than “women’s mating strategy.” Not having paid or protected mat leave in the US (or other countries) is a HUGE factor in this. Why have babies if you barely get any time to physically recover from it, and then have to be separated from your baby for a huge chunk of the day very soon after having them? That sounds miserable!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 12:39 PM
1

My experience with dating women wasn’t hugely different than my experience dating men, other than the fact that I would have to take on the ‘initiator’ role more often with other women, whereas with men they would more often take that role. This applied to messaging, suggesting dates, etc. But also my experience dating women was pretty superficial and limited to a few hookups rather than outright dating, so 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:00 PM
2

It can be extrapolated to different types of media analysis as well, but you’re absolutely right. People going about their daily lives, or men approaching women, or men simply finding women attractive is not the male gaze lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:53 PM
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Okay so how does that work in real life though? Anyone who is not your first relationship is “second” and therefore somehow lesser? Or is it something different?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:28 PM
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And that’s fair. I think that goes for anyone who keeps repeating the same exact behaviors and expecting a different outcome, honestly. Definition of insanity and all that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:27 PM
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Women do choose better and then their choices are disparaged as “beta bux” or “settling”. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. It’s almost like the point is to criticize women’s choices regardless.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:17 PM
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You’re assuming the intention/thought behind the rule here though, and I’m not sure there’s enough info to do that. There are plenty of reasons why a woman might wait a month to sleep with a man, including but not limited to: - weeding out men who just want sex - gives her more time to get to know him better to decide if she wants to pursue things with him - circumstances don’t align to allow them to see each other much before a month has gone by - she doesn’t yet feel comfortable sleeping with …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:06 PM
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Requirement? No. But I don’t think it’s that black and white. This is not just about what’s required to have children, it’s about the decision-making process parents go through when deciding to have kids, and looking at what incentivizes or disincentivizes people to do that. Giving our children access to opportunities and quality of life is more important to us than sheer number of children, yes. But if things like daycare and access to activities like camps, etc., were more affordable, then we …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 12:49 PM
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My husband and I would genuinely love to have 4 kids, but in order to maintain a good quality of life and ensure our kids can all do activities they want to, etc., it’s only realistic to have 2. Financial sustainability is a very, very real consideration for a lot of parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 12:36 PM
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While some intimacy can be unhealthy, that doesn’t mean all intimacy is unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 10:33 PM
3

Regular women are the reason why Heated Rivalry is so popular lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 05:51 PM
1

Lol no. Masculinity isn’t a monolith, and my husband is plenty masculine. My point is that my lifestyle would not be compatible with a stereotypical dark fantasy mafia boss type man, and I would not want my partner to be that. I much prefer my partner as he is - that’s literally why I married him. That’s nice for the girl you know, but frankly I would be terrified of being involved in organized crime even tangentially so nooooo thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 02:06 PM
1

I can kinda get what you’re saying, but honestly it sounds infinitely more soul crushing to me to expect your partner to be the be-all, end-all of everything you need in life, because that’s just set up to fail, y’know? No one person can be absolutely everything we need. And fantasies/role playing don’t necessarily mean people aren’t happy with their partners either because again, it’s “play”. But going back to the original sort of point of the thread - ultimately reading a dark fantasy book doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 01:45 PM
1

As I mentioned, sex can often be a form of “play”. And “play” isn’t restricted to non-sexual scenarios. It also looks different in different contexts. There are aspects of sexual situations that can be “not real” in the same way that video games are “not real”. That’s why I compared them. The type of sex fantasy you have doesn’t have to 1:1 equate to real life desires in the same way that the type of video game you like to play doesn’t have to 1:1 equate to your real life desires either. It’s li…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 01:31 PM
3

Because it’s fun! It’s “play”, not real life. I don’t actually want to be raped, hence the first C in CNC. Allowing myself to be dominated when the reality is that everything could stop with a word from me is, like I said, fun. Because it’s not real. It’s like video games. How do we expect women to respect men if so many of them just want to be killed, as evidenced by their repeated participation in video games where they are regularly killed? It’s because it’s “play” in both circumstances, your…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 06:41 PM
2

Dark romance really is a catch all term, but still encompasses a wide variety of what that “dark romance” actually looks like. In some, the MMC would kill anyone but the FMC. Or they’re stalker-obsessed with her, but still treat her pretty well, all things considered. Or they are generally “bad people” to everyone but the FMC. Those are totally fine. And if my husband was into that, then hell yeah, that just gives us more to talk about and/or play around with. However the ones where the MMC bull…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 07:37 PM
3

It’s certainly proof that some men are attracted enough to marry plus sized women, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:57 PM
0

Lol I would bet heavily in favor of the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 12:00 PM
10

Same - I’m married now, but first came here when I was single and dating and still pop back in every once in a while to see what conversations are happening 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:59 AM
2

That’s a defeatist attitude, so of course it’s not going to get you anywhere. Focusing on the negatives only makes them more prominent. Focusing on the positives you have going for you works so much better. My dad’s like 5’3 and has been successful, romantically and otherwise. His whole side of the family is short, and all the men have done fine romantically. The only one who has had an issue is a cousin of mine who’s very into anti-government, red pill, and manosphere content. His brother, who …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:42 AM
2

Is it unfathomable to you that many of the women here genuinely enjoy and love their partners, as well as understand the reality that long-term partnership is about so much more than “whether or not their partner is a chad”?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:27 AM
0

When I was still dating a few years ago, I went on plenty of cheap/free dates. The point is to get to know the other person, no? The activity doesn’t need to be expensive for that to happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 10:32 PM
2

Can you reframe the issue for him at all? Especially with an autoimmune issue, how do you think he might respond to you telling him that with everything going on, you need help? As another commenter stated, the “traditional” marriage has always involved others helping out, whether that be family, community, the kids going to school, etc. If he’s unwilling to help with things in the home, then perhaps it would be best to look for outside support (house cleaner, meal delivery service, au pair/nann…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/26 08:12 PM
3

Flirting does not have to do with boundaries. Flirting is showing interest/attention in a lighthearted manner, or without seriousness.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 06:58 PM
12

Oh girl if you’re still splitting the rent 50/50 that should be in your post - taking care of utilities isn’t really “paying the bills” imo, since you’re still contributing quite a bit financially. Also - you need to decide how important it is that the dishes are done on your timeline vs his. When it comes to cleanliness, generally the person who cares about it more needs to do the work. Have you read Surrendered Single or Surrendered Wife? Asking for what you want in a positive, playful way is …
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 03:24 PM
5

What, so to be considered a “victim” or on the receiving end of some bad circumstances, the person in question has to explain it to everyone every time it comes up? Come on lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 03:53 PM
4

People don’t have to explain themselves and their perspective completely every time they engage with a topic. That’s an absurd and unrealistic expectation. If they want to be understood in that instance, they can explain. But you’re not owed someone’s entire thought process and reasoning each time you talk with them. Some people want to “understand” just to argue against, rather than looking for some common ground, and there’s no use explaining anything to people like that because they’ll never …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 03:37 PM
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Perhaps he might feel like less of a man if he claims disability? It might be a sore spot if it’s not been a disability he’s had his entire life :( But like pragmatism (I.e., him accepting the situation and collecting his checks) is masculine af IMO so idk. Maybe there’s another way you can frame it to him? P.s. I understand filial piety (I’m the eldest too) but please remember you don’t have to be responsible for your parents’ emotional state 🤍
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 06:12 AM
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Ahh that’s awesome! I wish for everyone that they can have their first sex experience in a situation where they feel safe and secure. Purity culture really fucks people up sometimes so v happy that you (and your partner?) could escape that. Also agreed that I don’t judge people who prefer to wait. I assume that means that they just have other priorities in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:57 AM
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Maybe like a toddler rollercoaster what
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:54 AM
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It’s quite possible that more horny men are like that than horny women, percentage wise, but like… horny women also do some pretty crazy shit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:53 AM
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First of all: obsessed with your username. Second: yeah I’m at the top of the recommended dosage for Vyvanse and it doesn’t feel like it’s working anymore soooo this is giving me good incentive to ask my doc about Adderall lol! Is your preferred Addy XR or regular?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:49 AM
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I mean fair enough! Ultimately what is important to you in a relationship is what matters most. I guess I just wonder like…. What if you get married but then the sex is really bad or he turns out to be asexual or something? Then you’re just stuck!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:44 AM
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Sorry to hear that. Maybe she thinks it’ll be better to keep the family together? Relationships (and marriages) are so complex sometimes that it’s hard to understand the full reasoning of why people make the decisions that they do
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:43 AM
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I mean how high are we taking here?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:38 AM
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I think it comes down to inhibitions or lack thereof. Those who are less inhibited likely struggle less in dating vs. those who are more inhibited likely struggle more.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:28 AM
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I genuinely cannot imagine marrying (and thus spending the rest of my life with) someone without knowing if we were sexually compatible. Like ??? That seems like such a big unknown to leave up to chance???
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:24 AM
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I’m not so sure about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:22 AM
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😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:20 AM
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Yeah I feel like oil has a pretty long shelf life
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:16 AM
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I take Vyvanse, and now you’re making me wonder if I should try Adderall instead lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:15 AM
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Yeah, I think the fact that our communities have been dismantled leaves people all over at a disadvantage. Most of the people I’ve spoken to that are struggling, don’t really have a physical community they’re a part of. They are homebodies with online friends and no social hobbies. It’s no surprise they’re having a hard time meeting people when nothing in their life is conducive to meeting any people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 06:55 PM
1

Might be worth trying to find a social hobby or community group you’d be interested in. It’s not a guarantee, but statistically speaking, the more people you interact with the more likely you are to meet a friend or potential romantic partner. I get that it’s not necessarily that easy though. Good luck friend!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 06:27 PM
1

Sunk cost fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 01:10 PM
8

The mental gymnastics are getting Olympic level.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 01:09 PM
18

This sounds like a tough situation. And I can understand that it hurts when it feels like he doesn’t want you like you want him. It sounds to me like you need to really reframe your mindset here though. You say you’re a negative person and your entire post is filled with negative energy. Yes, LD speaks about changing what’s within your control because that is all you can really change. You cannot change your husband, so pull back and stop trying. Clearly it’s making both of you miserable. You sp…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/24 03:43 PM
1

Do you have any hobbies or communities you’re a part of where you can interact with more women? If you’re religious - a colleague of mine met his wife when they were both volunteering to lead a youth group! Maybe getting involved with something can put you in the path of women you might not otherwise meet?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 08:43 PM
1

While I agree that it’s generally pretty beginner friendly, I do think that some people who are inexperienced are also not able to communicate well around sex either, whether due to their experience level or not. From my personal experience, those I’ve been with who have had less sexual experience tended to be more shy or were not as willing, able, or comfortable to communicate openly about sex. That’s not to say that all inexperienced people are like that, nor that all experienced people are go…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 07:07 PM
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That’s not really true. Early childhood experiences do either provide advantages or disadvantages, yes, but the complexities of human social nuance are still beyond children that young. At about 4, children are just beginning to see themselves as people; they do not yet understand the greater social trappings of civilization. Childhood and teenage years are all about testing boundaries and learning where their and others’ limits are, along with what is and is not culturally/socially acceptable. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 12:28 AM
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That’s fair! Not everyone can have or learn the same skill set, that’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 12:16 AM
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I mean….. social skills can be learned though
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 10:55 PM
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The way she describes doesn’t seem very Chad-like. She says he’s soft and doesn’t have a backbone. And doesn’t shower.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:22 AM
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Oh god I’m just picturing it malfunctioning and that leaving someone basically a vegetable with locked-in syndrome :( I feel like anything fucking with the nervous system could go wrong so quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:17 AM
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Explore what it’s like to have a penis lol. Then I’d probably take stock of what I’ve got going on in my life and with my looks to see what I could do with what I have. Figure out what type of women I’m attracted to (I feel like it would be different from the kind of women I’m into now) and then find a niche that works with that. Work on social skills and join co-ed sports to get more comfortable talking to women. Probably grow a pretty cool beard if I could.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:16 AM
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It’s just funny to me, that’s all. There are a ton of posts on Reddit from women settling for the bare minimum or less.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:10 AM
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You get all these guys saying women have sky high standards and then you get posts like this lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/24 12:02 AM
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Yeah that’s fair. I can’t do remote for a big chunk of my job (and tbh it’s better for my ADHD to actually be in the office) but I do think for jobs/people that don’t need it, remote is a better alternative!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:28 PM
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You’re going to three different weddings in a single day???
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:20 PM
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Idk I think you might have to know someone. Or maybe like go to a rave and ask someone who looks like they’re handing stuff out lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:19 PM
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Idk, I think it depends. The girls I knew who were taking more risks were doing that, sure. But not the quiet introverts lol. Also as someone who routinely dated older men from like 18-26, I was for sure the odd one out with my friends. Only 1 of them had hooked up with a guy old enough to be considered an “age gap” hookup.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:02 PM
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Fuck I didn’t expect to get called out like this
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 08:58 PM
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That sucks :( hormones are a bitch!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 08:57 PM
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Yeah but sometimes I’m like on the edge but then it like… slips away
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 08:55 PM
2

I asked my fiancé for his number to send him his astrology birth chart I think 😂 We already knew each other by that point, but still. Also I would regularly start the convo on dating apps and ask about activities, dates, etc., back when I was doing that. Honestly would just want to get to the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:26 PM
4

Nothing wrong with the trades/blue collar! My fiancé is a plumber by trade, and only recently moved into an office role at the same company. Capability is sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/24 06:07 PM
2

Did or do you have any hobbies outside of the home that regularly put you in contact with other people? A lot of friendships start because of proximity + time, so if you’re not interacting with others often, and/or you don’t engage with others when you’re around them, then it’s likely going to be much harder to find friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:58 PM
1

I would say either 14 or 15, depending on number 6, because I feel like popular and well-liked are different things. I was well-liked (as in, people were friendly and nice to me other than a few bullies) but was not popular in the sense that I had a lot of actual friends. A key part of the childhood friendships I did have was playing organized sports, and also having parents who were social with friends who had children around my age. Growing up I was pretty painfully shy though, and very sensit…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:52 PM
6

Seriously. There’s so much focus on these big, nebulous ideas (it’s all feminism’s fault! Women’s standards are too high! Men have it harder!) but very little focus on actually taking action to improve the situation in front of them. “I want a relationship but I don’t like going out and meeting people.” Okay. How can anyone expect anything to change about their situation if they’re not willing to change? If you only look for negatives, that’s all you’ll see.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:31 PM
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Hmm, I would say most of my friends are like me. Like trying to provide nuance into the discussion and giving my friends’ partners the benefit of the doubt, etc. I do have friends who would gloss over stuff but those are also friends I’m not as close with so we don’t really get into that stuff anyway, and if we do, it’s more surface level.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:23 PM
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I’ve given my friends constructive advice many times. But if my friend is happy in her relationship, I’m not going to harp on the fact that I think her partner is shitty or whatever - she’s an adult and can make her own decisions. I have and do point out when my friends are being unfair to their partners (even when venting) and try and provide suggestions that would be positive for both them and their partners. But it’s their relationship, not mine. It’s not my job to police them as relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 06:00 PM
6

If you’re spending time with the wrong man, you’re not going to find the right one. If you know he’s not the one, leave. You don’t have time to play around.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/24 10:26 AM
1

I think like others have said, men are likely to have less developed support networks. Conversely, if my parents were to divorce now in their mid-60s, my mom would be much more likely to die miserable and alone, whereas my dad, who is much more emotionally resilient, would likely do well and be able to find a new relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 12:38 PM
36

Yeah I mean like????? How would they support a child if they did have them? And then if a woman did procreate with a man who can’t support his child, that would be used as evidence that women pick shitty men, or whatever. It’s ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 06:06 PM
6

Wait isn’t vindicta just like one of those “how do I get hot” subs? And I thought fauxmoi was like gossip? What am I missing here lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:09 PM
1

It sounds so exhausting, honestly
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 03:07 PM
2

In my experience, your sex drive is higher than most men at that age. My friends and I are all in our early 30s and you’ve inspired me to conduct an informal poll of their sex lives to have a better sample size, but purely off of my experience with men in their mid-30s, they are not all raring to have sex once or twice a day. I’m glad you found partners that suited your needs, but surely you can understand that your situation isn’t the norm.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/24 08:26 AM
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There have been a bunch of Reddit posts that I’ve seen from women about it, but who knows how many people are actually doing it IRL
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:52 PM
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I know 😢 I’m a lot quicker on shared machines though, I’m not that toxic
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:42 PM
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Oh shit, what do we do now????
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:41 PM
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Person getting chased 💁🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:37 PM
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My toxic trait is taking 3 hrs at the gym because I procrastinate on Reddit in between sets. Oops.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:37 PM
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Oop, I stand corrected then. I didn’t really see it but fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:36 PM
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Ah, okay. Yesterday I was talking to an old lady who said that remembrance day was bullshit because it’s not even about “the real war” anymore and with what you just said that makes more sense now. Idk, I have family who are active military, and my ex and his son are both military, so I do think it’s important to publicly acknowledge the contribution of those who served, but I do agree that what that looks like these days is more spectacle than actual, genuine remembrance and tribute to those wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:31 PM
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The funniest part is the women doing this and the men who are upset about it probably wouldn’t have been fucking each other anyway. So like what’s the problem lol? I do think women who are already in relationships who want to do this are fucking stupid though. Like I guess you don’t give a shit about your partner then??
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:26 PM
–

I don’t remember women caring this much about the MGTOW movement. From what I remember women were just kinda like “okay, good.”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:20 PM
–

You remembered the age she was but not the one she just turned? She’s being super unreasonable lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:19 PM
–

Wait what’s wrong with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:18 PM
–

Lmao what’s the point???
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:07 PM
–

That’s so insane to me. Like why tank your relationship and sex life for some weird “gotcha” moment that no one but you even cares about? Then they’ll be complaining later when they’re single and can’t find a man lol. So ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:07 PM
–

Nah benevolent sexism is definitely a thing. Men can 100% love women and think they’re lesser, sort of like pets. Now whether or not that’s a “true” love or just a facsimile of it is another discussion lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:05 PM
–

Wow that’s super fucked up :(
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 05:59 PM
–

Yeah seriously. Find your niche and work it!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 05:56 PM
–

Idk bald guys with beards can fucking get it. That shit is hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 05:51 PM
–

Cubicle Kyle 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 05:51 PM
6

the more sexually and romantically experienced partner has the power in such relationships Power to do what though?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 06:37 PM
3

Come on, age gap relationships are not “more equal” than close-in-age relationships. And I say that as someone who has been in multiple age gap relationships lol. There is SO MUCH that goes into life experience beyond specifically relationship experience. We are, all of us, a product of the environment, including time period, that we grow up in. And all of our experiences shape us. Is there a disparity in relationship experience between the two hypothetical people you described? Yes. There are o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/24 06:35 PM
7

I mean in the sense that OP’s argument wasn’t intelligible by that point. He contradicts his own argument, which is based on vague and ill-defined terms. I wasn’t originally gonna get into it but sure, why not lol. “If having it all for women means having a husband then they can never have it all.” But how can that be true if a ton of women have husbands, even career women…. So that doesn’t make sense. My field is dominated by women and I know a ton of women who have great careers, husbands, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 09:59 PM
7

A bit of both, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 07:29 PM
5

Unless you’re running into the same girls you saw from 20-24 who are only now interested, the “why now?” question doesn’t make sense. You’re meeting different people now than you did before. Perhaps you’re more confident, or interacting with more people whose interests line up with yours, or perhaps you had women interested in you before who just never said anything, and now the women in that age group are more comfortable or confident in speaking up. Edit: I get distrusting interest from the op…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 07:13 PM
1

My dad has made a few jokes about “if he hurts you we’ll hurt him” but generally he’s just asked if I’m happy, and if I am he’s been supportive. He’s always maintained that I’m smart and capable of figuring out what works for me, and that mistakes are learning opportunities and simply part of life. That you just move forward and take what works and leave what doesn’t. He didn’t necessarily provide dating-specific advice (I moved to another city for school at 18, which is when I started to date) …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 07:06 PM
2

A nice tailored suit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 06:47 PM
17

If having it all for women means having a husband then they can never have it all. If no, then they already have it all, but life is a competition, and some women will have it better than a woman who has it all. This is incomprehensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 06:02 PM
–

Not what I said lol. I just think that OP is making these aspects out to be bigger in his head than they actually are in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 10:43 PM
–

My fiancé is 5’10. And he looks nothing like Henry Cavill or Chris Hemsworth. I promise you those things are not as big a deal as you think they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 10:18 PM
2

My fiancé is that man lol! His female friends told him this because it’s true. He’s loyal as hell and always willing to help a friend. He’s fun and funny. He doesn’t take life too seriously but can be serious as appropriate. He supports those around him without trying to bring them down. He’s reliable. Smart. Kind. Acts with integrity. And when he cares about people, he’s not afraid to show it. Pretty much everything I just wrote. I love that he’s willing to try new things, and that we can debat…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 05:00 PM
11

Aw this is fun! I think the best “in” is to pick up on something they’re doing/saying/wearing and use it as a conversation starter! Ex. “Love the matching outfits, are you guys celebrating something?” Or “What drink is that? It looks really good.” Idk those maybe aren’t the best examples but a lot of it is very situational and context-dependent. Basically just a version of small talk really. You’re providing an opening and if there’s no interest she won’t take it, but if there is, she likely wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:27 PM
4

Not sure, honestly. Maybe some people don’t think it’s a good strategy and that’s why? Or they don’t want there to be a general expectation of having to be upfront? I personally was pretty upfront as well. Not necessarily specific details, but certainly the broad strokes. I don’t think it needs to be a detailed account with specific numbers or whatever, but a high-level overview should be enough when getting into a new relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 03:56 PM
5

I agree with others that it’s not about the body count it’s about your behavior. My sexual history would likely send some in this community into fits, and it’s never been an issue for me (except for one ex who had a whole host of other issues). You cannot change the past. All you can do is learn from it and make different decisions in future. Wallowing in shame and self-hatred does not serve you, and will not make this better. Lying just reinforces that. Accepting and owning up to your past will…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/24 07:05 PM
2

What would “being in a relationship” change for you if you don’t actually care about the person you’re in a relationship with? Are you looking for the validation of being “picked” by a guy? Would being in a relationship mean you’re “worthy” of that attention? Honestly the more I read the more it sounds like you have deep self-esteem issues. You’re worried about rejection, which is normal, but take it so far to extremes that you bury anything resembling a personality under a false persona. So whe…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/24 05:32 PM
32

Girl, what? You sit there silent and smiling, never asking them questions, talking about yourself, or initiating a conversation, or even actually caring what they’re saying, and you don’t know why they don’t want to continue a bizarre one-sided conversation with you forever? Be for real right now. Does that sound enjoyable? At all? What’s your game plan here - live a double life, never being yourself, forever? Because let me tell you - that is exhausting and impossible. You will “slip up” and be…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/24 09:11 PM
7

Start with - what kind of man are you looking for? Beyond the strictly physical qualities. You say that 18 is too young to know if your exes are marriage material or not, but what does marriage material mean to you? What does “established” mean to you? Are you looking for someone who’s ready to get married right now, or in a few years once you’re finished school? You can find a man in his late 20s or early 30s and fit into his life without having to do much building on your own, or you can find …
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/24 12:23 PM
3

When he makes it sort of about you, do you think it would be appropriate to use Laura Doyle’s suggestion of just saying “ouch”? I would probably only use that when something is specifically directed at you, but do you find that he can recognize when he’s hurt you in these interactions? Something like “ouch” might be a way to put the brakes on the situation if it can pull him out of his ranting headspace, but ultimately you know you and your partner best.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/24 10:34 PM
8

I think it also depends on flexibility. My fiancé and I both play video games, but we also don’t do it every single day. If there’s something else that needs to be done, we do that instead. Not being able to make plans with friends together or get anything done that requires both of us because he insists on having 2 hours each weekday and more on weekends to play video games would be a nightmare.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:16 PM
5

It’s really helpful for things like this to pick your battles. If you’re agreeable or amenable 80-90% of the time, it’s going to make the times that you aren’t, more effective. When you aren’t bringing up little things all the time, it will make your man sit up and take note when you do bring something up. Use that wisely. Another thing that works with dominant men is being fun and playful. Part of the dominant/submissive dynamic is the polarity between you two, right? So playing up the “Goddess…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/24 10:31 AM
8

I think your theory makes a lot of sense, but I also find it really sad. For both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 05:50 PM
0

For sure! And asking is one way by which you can gain further experience, which then only adds to your knowledge base for gauging other situations in future.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 02:34 PM
17

Yeah experience is really the best teacher for stuff like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 04:15 PM
8

Yes to all of this. By that logic, anyone who hasn’t been convicted of a crime in a court of law did not do that thing. Just because we can’t prove who Jack the Ripper was, doesn’t mean he didn’t still kill those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:43 PM
-1

I guess my point was more like: in order to get something on screen, the script for any particular movie had to go through multiple levels of approval, meaning that, at the very least, multiple people approved the dialogue and thought it was relatable/realistic enough to include. OP could argue that Sex and the City proves his point in the same way. I didn’t say that men are more likely to share intimate details - I said they’re more likely to share intimate content, meaning photos or videos tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:37 PM
0

Well that’s where trust comes in. Do you trust your partner or not? If you don’t trust them, why are you with them? And if you do, then you don’t worry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:26 PM
1

Ah yeah my bad I confused your comment with one that said that guys don’t really engage in locker room talk. Also, nothing is really “a given” when it comes to stuff like that. I don’t personally talk about my fiancé like but I also don’t care if he talks about our sex life with his friends. When you want something, speak up. That’s the only way to ensure you’ll get it. You can argue all day about how things “should” be, but that doesn’t change the fact that many people feel differently than you…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:24 PM
2

All of the 2000s sex comedies, which are essentially locker talk in movie form, were written by men. Men are also more likely to share intimate content of their partners with other men, which wouldn’t happen if men didn’t talk about it first. Revenge porn was made a thing basically entirely by men, and I think most people would agree that’s worse than just talking about one’s sex life. I’m very open with my friends about our sex lives to a degree, but we’re still not sharing the level of detail …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:50 PM
0

Same thing as men claiming AWALT.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 09:36 PM
3

A couple things you may want to consider: - This is really new, for both of you! How long was your trip, a week? Him turning down morning sex a few times after being out late night drinking and being tired the next morning is normal, it sounds like he may have just been tired. - My fiancé and I have different times that we’re both in the mood - he prefers morning sex and I prefer evening sex. This is also normal and you may just have to find what works for the two of you! This also may change wi…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/24 03:39 PM
6

I saw some talk about a book called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay, and a number of commenters said that the questions within helped them clarify what decision was right for them. Maybe you could try giving that one a read?
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/24 01:10 PM
2

Specific women in the context of the study, not all women as implied in your “women are wonderful bias” comment. I said there’s some factual basis for the intimidation trope, not that it is always because of intimidation. I also agreed with another commenter who made the distinction.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 02:14 PM
2

I don’t really have a stake in this fight to be honest, I was just pointing out a semi-relevant study, and the fact that both men and women are capable of being obnoxious assholes about their career success 🤷🏼‍♀️ Literally nothing in my comment talks about *all women being wonderful.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 02:09 PM
3

I don’t really see “this person is doing better than me and I feel bad” as that fundamentally different from intimidated, but I suppose I take your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 08:23 PM
8

Actually men tend to feel worse about themselves when their female partners are successful so there is some factual basis for the “men feel intimidated by successful women” trope. I think there’s also a big difference between people who make their career their entire lives and people who have a good career and care about it, but don’t make it their entire personality. The “rude and argumentative” career women have many male counterparts who are just as obnoxious and annoying about their careers …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 08:11 PM
2

It sounds like mainly a mindset issue. You don’t mention dating apps. Have you tried them? What kind of man do you want? What kind of woman do you think he would want? Try and develop some of those things. Where does he spend his time? Go there. Men don’t magically fall out of the sky, and the current culture has made it so men are less likely to approach women on the street or at social events, so you really have to put yourself out there and put in work to make sure you’re in a position to tal…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 06:40 PM
2

Somewhat unrelated, but I thought Riley Reed got married not that long ago?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/24 06:37 PM
2

I think it’s important to get a prenup for both parties’ sake. However I think it’s also important to make sure that you’re vetting as much as possible during the dating stage to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page with all the big things before you approach marriage. My fiancé and I have discussed this before. I’m happy to sign a prenup. But in my view, children should (ideally) be brought up with two married, loving parents, and marriage is a lifelong commitment. If he’s h…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 08:20 AM
7

If you’re looking for a man who either already has or can buy anything he wants, then you have to focus more on how you make him feel. It’s likely this man will have attractive women interested in him wherever he goes. So to stand out from the pack, you have to make an impression, and keep his interest. It sounds like you already run in the same/similar circles of the type of man you want, so where to come into contact with them is less of a question than how you’ll snag them. I recommend readin…
/r/RedPillWomen14/08/24 12:48 AM
0

I don’t think it’s necessarily in bad faith. There’s always some level of personal responsibility we can take for our circumstances. In talking with OP on other comments, he’s working with a fairly small sample size of recent experiences. There’s just not enough data to say one way or the other what the true issue is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:53 PM
–

I didn’t say the last one. Going up to everyone you meet to make all your intentions immediately clear is socially inept. You can’t “skip” relationship building. Rapport doesn’t just happen. Let me give you an example. I was at a day-long event, and met a volunteer. He engaged with my small talk, disengaged to focus on the work, re-engaged and offered to help out with tasks that would put him more in proximity with me, disengaged to focus on the work, re-engaged and asked questions, etc. There w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:57 AM
–

My point is that doing it straight away shows a lack of tact, which is unattractive. Taking the time to feel the situation out and make an intentional move is a lot smarter.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 04:12 AM
–

Physically attractive and sexually attractive are not necessarily the same thing though. I’ve appreciated someone visually while being repulsed at the idea of fucking them, and similarly I’ve found someone fairly attractive but then become viscerally sexually attracted to them based on some behavior or mannerism of theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:19 PM
–

I mean you kinda have to feel it out for a bit longer than just jumping right in lol. Take a couple classes to get to know people, have a few light hearted conversations with people, learn about them, and generally you can tell whether or not they’re interested in talking more with you. Learning new hobbies to meet people doesn’t mean you start asking people out or being very forward with interest right away. You have to let it build over time. Edit: Source: I met my fiancé on a co-ed sports tea…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:09 PM
9

Okay, and plenty of those women are in relationships where their man never buys them gifts, but they buy their man gifts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 07:50 PM
11

I cannot even count how many “he never buys me anything for birthdays or holidays, but I always put effort into making the holidays/birthday special for him” posts that I’ve seen on relationship_advice. Why are gifts and affection “romance” when they come from the man, but not when they come from the woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 07:18 PM
2

Everyone’s ideal of romance is self-centered and self-serving. Why would anyone fantasize about not getting what they want lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 07:10 PM
2

I saw your other comment going more into detail about the conversation, and my read on this, which may not be correct, is that your joke about bringing her to your job interview gave the impression that you don’t feel you can stand on your own in the job interviews, and that spooked her enough to unmatch. I got the vibe based on what you said that you’re both part of a culture that values jobs/careers quite highly? So it might not be the “opening up” part so much that she took it as you not havi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 05:28 PM
2

Can you try using incremental reciprocity here? As in, opening up gradually over time as they open up to you? I find that’s how emotional intimacy tends to grow most naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 03:43 PM
6

Anyone can decide what’s too much too fast for their comfort level. I once had a guy spend a solid hour of our second date telling me about his traumatic childhood, his feelings of worthlessness and suicidal ideation, and how he’s sorta better now but still has really low self-esteem and can’t seem to keep a job because of his depression…. That was way too much too fast for me lol. If this happens to OP with every woman he meets, then it’s either a them issue or a him issue. And even if it’s a t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 03:25 PM
–

My fiancé has a dad bod. He’s also quite active, plays sports multiple times a week, we go on walks, hikes, etc. He also fairly recently quit smoking and switched to an office job from a highly physical one 🤷🏼‍♀️ life happens. While I see your point about maintaining good health as you age, I don’t think that physical activity and fitness always equates with a lean body type. And I don’t think that having some extra always means that person is super lazy or out of shape.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 01:38 PM
–

Agreed. I’ve seen posts on here that men are overwhelmingly attracted to 18-22 year-old women. Which means that age demographic is attractive to the most amount of men, not that only a small percentage of women are attractive to men outside of that. The same applies here. The lean muscular body type is just what’s attractive to the most amount of women, but not necessarily to the exclusion of all else.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 12:10 PM
5

Hmm. If he’s failed his exam twice, you’re both in the same field, and you’re making more money than him, it sounds like maybe he feels emasculated and is lashing out at and critiquing you in an effort to either feel better about himself, or bring you down so you don’t feel like you can do better. Which is not healthy for the relationship or fair to you. How is the natural play between the two of you in the relationship? Do you give him space to take the lead in the relationship? How did you sup…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/24 08:19 PM
2

Thank you! It sounds like the two of you have a beautiful relationship and family ☺️❤️ sending well wishes your way too!
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 08:04 PM
2

Thank you for the well wishes, and for the solidarity! Lol part of my motivation to write this was definitely to share that the “leave him!” advice was unhelpful at best in this situation. I’m super glad that I got better advice than that on the other post!
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 08:03 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/24 07:54 PM
3

I fully agree with this. A solid relationship is built upon many continuous bids for connection and turning towards our partner (responding, listening, deep talk, shared experiences, etc.) rather than away from them. That is how you combat apathy in a relationship. Not drama.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 12:20 PM
1

This reads like a troll post tbh.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/24 04:39 PM
–

women are waaaay less willing to adhere to classical gender roles or gender normative relationships unless the guy gives off strong masculine markers I think a lot of this comes down to dominance threshold honestly. And I wonder how much of women’s willingness to adhere to traditional gender roles comes from whether or not they chafe at the relationship dynamic (either one way or the other) from a dominance threshold standpoint. Similarly to how some women want to “girlboss” and pretend to be a …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 03:28 PM
1

No lol when I was 18-21 and dating older men all my friends thought I was crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 02:13 AM
–

Aren’t those programs that republicans are trying to repeal?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 04:02 AM
–

Having your value tied to how many kids you pop out and what genitals they have (when that part is literally entirely out of your control) don’t sound like great things to have all or most of your value based on.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 03:59 AM
–

Women are regularly ridiculed in both construction/extraction and military fields. Would you want to go into a field where you know you’ll be regularly belittled?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 03:47 AM
–

Nursing is so hard man. You wanna regularly clean up other humans’ shit? Because I don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 03:42 AM
20

Gosh OP, I’m deeply sorry to hear that your husband left you, and is now continuing to talk to his AP and dangle her in front of your face. That must be incredibly difficult. How are you coping? I this is likely something that is a bit above Reddit’s pay grade, and I would encourage the two of you to seek couples counseling to work through these issues with a neutral party. Ultimately the “goddess of fun and light” personality starts with making sure that you’re taking care of yourself properly.…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/24 07:52 PM
4

I don’t know, I think the heterosexual “default” implication comes into play for a lot of this here, where women complimenting women doesn’t necessarily imply desire and has a generally expected set of responses, while complimenting men usually implies desire and can lead to unintended/unexpected responses. It’s easier to get to a place of emotional intimacy in a friendship when you have less uncertainty how the other person feels about you. In a lot of ways, it’s just that women are “safer” in …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 11:08 AM
2

Agreed. Honestly I feel like driving is one of those basic competencies that all adults (barring a health/medical reason) should be able to do. I do get that men enjoy being “in the drivers seat” and feeling like they have more control over the situation, but the attitude that women should never drive their men is strange to me. My boyfriend almost always drives when we go somewhere together, and pumps the gas every time, but like… I’ve also driven his truck when he was sick, or I was DD, and fo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/24 05:27 PM
6

Agreed! But I think it depends a bit on how it’s presented, and in the context of the conversation. “I’d like to take you out - where would you like to go?” Comes across very different than “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 09:59 AM
2

Has this actually happened to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 09:52 AM
3

It’s setting yourself up to fail. Why take a reasonable course of action like picking 3 things that you would enjoy doing on a date (hell, you could even use the same 3 options to lower the amount of effort you have to put in) when you can just complain that it wouldn’t work before ever trying it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 09:51 AM
5

I agree with u/FastLifePineapple, the important thing here is to reframe this as a learning experience. Okay, so you’ve made some mistakes. That’s a normal part of growing and living and being a human being. We make mistakes and learn from them. You’ve learned from those experiences that that’s not what you want, and if they make you feel bad then you’re unlikely to repeat them, which is ultimately a good thing. You can’t change the past. You can only change your behavior going forward. And focu…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/24 03:00 PM
3

You raise some great points.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 07:32 PM
4

That’s different - the elderly are considered more vulnerable by most, same as children. I’m sure many men would help children who needed help also.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 06:01 PM
2

In situations like this, I think about my boyfriend’s dad, who built his own business. Often he would work late hours when my bf and his sibling were young, and sometimes the only way he got to see his kids was because my bf’s mom would bring them to wherever he was working to see him for lunch or dinner. So yeah, if he had to do more childcare, and his wife wasn’t there to support him, he wouldn’t have been nearly as successful as he has been. Thankfully they’re still in love and all is good, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:48 PM
1

But… why lol? That sounds miserable for both you and him. Also, making a plan for something bad to happen isn’t an endorsement or wanting that thing to happen. Is keeping an emergency kit in your car planning to have an emergency? Or just providing you with protection should it happen?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:40 PM
1

Yes. My boyfriend and I are planning to sign one. We each have our own assets, and we’ll each have our own lawyers to review the terms. He does have some family business he wants to protect, but I’m not trying to fuck him over, so he can protect what he wants. Neither of us have any desire to breakup or to mess with the other, but having everything in writing makes things easier, and gives us a good opportunity to talk through some important things ahead of marriage. We’ve already discussed a lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:35 PM
2

I think I kinda get where you’re going, but I think it’s disingenuous to ask if being born a woman is “fashion” or not. Of course there is a line between fashion and biology. Societal standards of beauty are not inherently ingrained into us. If they were, they wouldn’t fluctuate so wildly. Societal standards of beauty (aka fashion) are culturally-derived. That includes the accessories you mention, but also behavior, what aspects we enhance and what aspects we downplay to be considered attractive…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:29 PM
5

If you do any of the above to mold yourself to what’s currently “in fashion” in your culture/society, then absolutely. Women in the 50s didn’t lift heavy weights because the muscle that comes from strength training wasn’t in fashion back then. Not like now, where half the women in the gym are trying to grow their glutes. Some women have tried their hardest to gain weight to get more curves when the Kardashians made it fashionable, while the 90s were all about “heroin chic” and super skinny super…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 06:06 PM
11

Having been in multiple age gap relationships (15-20+ yrs) before, I can see a range of viewpoints on the topic. Generally IDGAF, as long as both people are consenting adults, they can do what they will. And honestly I mostly enjoyed my time in those age gap relationships, so I can see the positives for both parties. Plus, it’s hot. I can understand to some degree the concern for the younger parties being at a higher risk for manipulation by the older parties, because someone more experienced is…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 05:02 PM
1

Ah, I think that’s our fundamental disagreement then. I see it as: poor skin care means more need for makeup, good skin care means less need for makeup, so the two are inextricably linked. But I take your point. I do still suspect there’s likely more to what they were doing than you realized (without needing 20 different things) but you’d know the situation better than me, so perhaps they really did just have incredibly minimal beauty routines. Some people are just genetically blessed that way!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:53 PM
4

It’s a partnership at the end of the day. And partners pick up each other’s slack. Approaching division of labor as a couple should not be adversarial, it should be collaborative. Sometimes one partner is going to have to contribute a bit more, and sometimes it’s the other partner that’s going to have to contribute a bit more. It’s give and take. Sticking to “they earn more so they should help less” is a quick way to create a divide in a relationship. If they don’t want to do chores, maybe their…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:47 PM
1

I’m referring to their skin care regimens. If they were models their skincare was probably more involved than you realize. Having nice/“glowing” skin doesn’t just happen - it takes some effort beyond “normal hygiene stuff” which is basically just being clean and tidy. My boyfriend certainly doesn’t wear SPF daily, but I and many women I know, do. Daily SPF is how you keep your skin looking good while you age, as the sun is literally the number 1 thing that ages your skin prematurely lol. My poin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:36 PM
2

No cleanser, toner, serums, or SPF?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 04:14 PM
3

I mean you would know better than us, but it’s pretty likely those women had certain procedures to make it so they don’t have to wear makeup every day, like microbladed brows, lash lift/tint/extensions, facials, skin care, etc. Which kinda blurs the line a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:52 PM
6

Also “glowing skin without makeup” okay lol what about the skin care regimen she’s spent hundreds to make that the case?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:46 PM
13

Glowing skin without makeup is called skin care lol. Which still takes time, resources, and effort. It doesn’t “just happen”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:44 PM
6

I mean isn’t the term “80s bush” a clear indicator of what was in fashion at the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:43 PM
10

Men are more likely to help attractive women. And in general, attractive people are more likely to be perceived more positively by others.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:42 PM
1

Nah I have thick thighs only from working out. When I stop, they shrink.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 03:37 PM
1

Practice is really the key here. But also - ask people questions about themselves. Make comments related to the situation you’re in (ex., “oh wow, I wasn’t expecting it to be so busy here! How long have you been waiting in line?”). But seriously, people love talking about themselves so asking people questions will usually get them talking. Over time, you’ll begin to pick up on which questions or topics work better than others!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 08:03 PM
1

Honestly, I always found it flattering as long as it was a quick experience and not like long and drawn out or awkward. So like a 5 or 6? But whether or not I would actually contact them was very individual. If he can’t take a no, that tanks the experience into 1-2 territory though. I’m taken so it’s going to be a no regardless, but how he handles it says a lot about who he is as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:53 PM
2

I don’t know if “responsibility” is the right way to frame this. If I’m regularly sexually frustrated at the kind of sex I’m having with my partner, I’d communicate like an adult. But given the fact that we all know guys are pretty much done after their orgasm lol, if he wants me to orgasm, he has to prioritize making it happen during foreplay or sex. If I want to orgasm, I’m going to prioritize making it happen during foreplay or sex. We’re both willing participants who work together to craft t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:50 PM
–

Sure, but dating is a numbers game in a lot of ways. The more people you have in your circle, the more statistically likely it is you’ll meet someone who you do click with.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:33 PM
2

I 100% agree with this. The women spouting this shit aren’t engaging with reality. These are likely the same women harassing NHL players because of “booktok” or whatever fantasies to the point that several of them have had to ask people to calm tf down and remember that they’re a real human, not some fictional character. It’s delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:23 PM
–

It’s not a bait and switch. This happened with my boyfriend and I. We were on the same co-ed sports team, and we were friends for months before we started dating. I wasn’t super into him at first but as we grew to know each other better, the attraction bloomed. The fact that he had a friend group that included women and the fact that he was actually a genuinely good friend to them was part of what attracted me to him. He had also made an offhand comment earlyish on that communicated indirect int…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:57 PM
–

I don’t know about that. I met a great group of people in my late 20s through subbing on a co-ed sports team for a coworker. It is definitely tougher the older you get though!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 06:46 PM
2

I just advised this to someone else, but honestly, volunteer. Find an organization that you would like to volunteer with, and start there. Through that, you’ll be able to work on your social skills and self-esteem at the same time. Research shows that helping others makes us view ourselves more positively, and having a sense of purpose will help build your resilience and self-image as well. It will also help with your social skills as you’ll be in a position where you’re interacting with others …
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 03:49 PM
3

Find an organization that you would like to volunteer with, and start there. Through that, you’ll be able to work on your social skills and self-esteem at the same time. Research shows that helping others makes us view ourselves more positively, and having a sense of purpose will help build your resilience and self-image as well. It will also help with your social skills as you’ll be in a position where you’re interacting with others you likely wouldn’t have come across otherwise. Having a share…
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 03:38 PM
–

I don’t personally know any woman who expects their man to “out-earn them by a significant amount”. All of my friends have jobs or careers that afford them a certain lifestyle, and all they look for is someone who can contribute to that and not detract from that. Much like men, I assume, women don’t want to subsidize someone else’s life. Out of all of the partnerships in my friend groups, the most “unbalanced” one is a guy who works in the trades and a girl who just graduated her nursing program…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 03:09 PM
–

The craziest part about it is the fact that men (like all humans) want a partner that desires them….. but getting duty sex from a wife who just married because that was what was expected of her and he asked doesn’t equal desire…. “Lie back and think of England” was common advice for wives specifically because they didn’t desire their husbands. They certainly weren’t having mutually pleasurable, enjoyable sex lol. But yeah that’s something to shoot for, sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 02:55 PM
11

The sub has shifted a bit in tone over the past 5 years or so. Less theory and field reports and more questions. But there are also more posts per day than there used to be, too. I do know the mods make an effort to try and re-ignite the theory discussions however (Back to Basics September, linking to existing theory posts, etc.). But I’d imagine it’s also hard because most/all of the mods and EC’s seem to be happily married wives/mothers, and life can get busy.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/24 02:34 PM
21

Generally men will reach out when they’ve had a good date and would like another, so you’re right that it’s not a great sign that he hasn’t. However, if there’s a chance that he received mixed signals from you on the date and wasn’t sure if you were interested, that could also be why he’s not reaching out. If you liked him enough to want a second date, there’s no harm in texting him to say “hey, thank you for dinner the other night, I had a great time.” And then you’ll get a more definitive answ…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/24 02:08 PM
0

I’m okay with benevolent or very mild misogyny tbh. If women could only fuck men who didn’t have an ounce of misogyny in them, there would be like no men left
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 09:24 PM
9

I agree that those outside of the target can usually see past the facade more easily. If they’re not running game on you, what use is it to them to put the effort in to keep up appearances?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 09:10 PM
15

Completely agree. It boggles my mind how many people in this day and age don’t realize that not every thought or opinion needs to be shared. Why create problems for yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 05:17 PM
4

this is his relationship not mine. This is a concerning statement. It is BOTH of your relationship, because BOTH of you are in this relationship. Do you find when he makes decisions for “both of you” that he considers your needs as well? Does he ever do things just for you, or does everything he does benefit him in some way?
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 08:31 PM
3

Ah, fair enough. Perhaps even expanding to nearby towns, even if they’re also smaller, can help. I would also let your friends and family know the kind of man you’re looking for, as men who are into some of those more solitary hobbies might also be in a position where they’re not running into too many people in their dating bracket. There are definitely men who would be into what you’re into though, so I think it’s just more of an issue of finding them!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 07:59 PM
3

I think the area you’re in and the fact that there are likely less men available is more of your problem than your hobbies. Dating can often be a numbers game. Are you able to expand your dating area to a nearby larger city? You may find more suitable men that way!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/24 07:49 PM
6

It’s a shitty metric, a terrible way to date, and she’s paying attention to the wrong things.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 09:59 PM
1

There are definitely some weirdos on that sub but the endorsed contributors usually have pragmatic, actionable advice that focuses on personal responsibility over platitudes. But yeah all the “oop you’ve been TOUCHED by a MAN that makes you UNDESIRABLE NOW” and “your life is over once you hit 30” shit is pretty ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:56 PM
13

Someone once told me they used the rule “always offer, and always accept.” Meaning offering to pay, etc. but accepting their offer if they insisted on paying. If someone is going to insist they pay for me on a date, I’m not going to continue to argue with them about it unless I already know I’m not going to see them again. I’ll just get them back in another way. However what other people choose to do on their own dates in their own relationships isn’t really my concern. I absolutely would and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:45 PM
2

Yeah that’s for sure a thing. I wouldn’t let a man pay for me if I already knew there wouldn’t be a second date. Like you mentioned in another comment - if I was interested in a second date I would have offered to get the next one or something!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:41 PM
8

Laura Doyle has some great tips, and I’d encourage you to read her book for more. My advice to you would be to embody the Goddess of Fun and Light and strive to make his time with you fun and enjoyable! You don’t have to bend over backwards or cater to only what he likes to do this - if you’re having fun, that can often be contagious. And our men want to see us happy - it makes them happy too. Filling your cup will make you more able to give him the space he needs also, because you’ll be getting…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/24 12:16 PM
1

Ah yeah it’s not fun lol. But totally agree with you - my emotions are mine to deal with, not anyone else’s problem. If I snap or make a mistake or I’m wrong, I own up and apologize. Which is just the normal adult thing to do really? Anyone who walks around genuinely believing that all women are hysterical nutjobs and all men are one happenstance away from being murderers or rapists needs to form more solid interpersonal relationships with other humans in person because that’s just… not real lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 04:05 AM
1

How is it emotionless? You’re literally expressing your emotions lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:56 AM
2

Honestly I’ve always been a bit of a crybaby and just got off of a hormonal IUD that was putting my tears on a hair trigger, but even then, I would just kinda… do my own thing and deal with it on my own lol. Maybe ask him for a hug if I really needed it. At most he just has to avoid movies where dogs die and sad country songs when I’m around, and put up with me crying about how much I love him when I get to a certain level of drunk lol. Who are these crazy bitches who are having regular, full-on…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:49 AM
2

My younger brother has dealt with some shit (including an all-over skin condition that sometimes makes his life hell) and his gf has stuck by him for years now and hypes him up all the time. He’s very open with her and no sign of ick in sight 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:32 AM
3

I’m really sorry you went through that, and didn’t get the support you needed and deserved. My heart breaks for you that you had to go through that essentially alone, and that the women around you just compounded that hurt. I just want to caution you that two family members and one girlfriend all reacting badly in this case isn’t something that can be extrapolated to all women. If I grew up in an Utah cult where everyone thought it was perfectly normal to marry 12 year old girls to 40 year old m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:28 AM
1

Anyone who responds to “I had a shitty day at work” from their partner with arguing that they have it harder is a shitty person, full stop. Not a single one of my friends would ever treat their partners this way. men's issues are almost entirely ignored and if they are every brought up (misogynist or not) it's met with backlash from women talking about how much worse their lives are. This does happen quite a bit online, but internet echo chambers where men and women come to argue with each other…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:10 AM
1

No it’s not that you become unbothered, it’s that you just… are bothered about it, and that’s okay. You don’t need to reason yourself out of feeling something, you just need to feel it. And then after sitting with that feeling for some time, it usually eventually fades or evolves into something else. Sort of like how if there’s a task that you have to do that you keep putting off, it hangs over you because subconsciously you still know you have to do that thing. But when you just accept the thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 03:04 AM
3

She’s been heavily ridiculed in the media since the mid-2000s for an emotional outburst.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 02:44 AM
1

??? Teaching a child to say “I’m angry that you took my toy” instead of throwing a rock at the other kid’s head is emotional regulation. An adult taking a walk or a break in the middle of a fight with their partner to calm down rather than punching the wall in rage or screaming in their face is emotional regulation. You don’t need to keep your feelings to yourself. You just need to communicate them in a way that’s not destructive.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 02:38 AM
1

Yeah hormones can definitely fuck with you but like we’re all still responsible for our own behavior lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 02:20 AM
3

Men have a higher potential for harm and most of them decide not to act on said potential. Not because they are good, but because the environment that they are in is one in which that option doesn’t seem to be the one that gets them better results. While men might have a higher capacity to dole out physical harm, the reason they don’t act on it is not the environment doesn’t support it, it’s because even when violence is highly normalized, it can still take a toll on those dealing the violence. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 02:16 AM
3

I mean… Britney Spears….
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 01:55 AM
2

I see it more like “riding the wave” to reference the common grief analogy, and letting yourself feel the emotion, accept that you’re feeling that way and may feel that way again, but then not letting it influence your behavior in a negative way. Feeling and accepting and allowing yourself time and space to process an emotional response to something can often be all the “reaction” that is needed. And accepting a feeling is more likely to lead to positive change behaviors instead of negative avoi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 01:52 AM
7

I think you raise a good point about negotiation. For OP to say she is willing to make the move, but that she has concerns about it and would like to discuss them, is a good example of her bringing him the problem, and provides her boyfriend a very clear opportunity to support her and lead the relationship by providing potential solutions. He might have great ideas she hasn’t considered. On the flip side, if during this conversation he’s unwilling to hear OP’s concerns or doesn’t provide any sup…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 08:19 PM
2

Congrats on your newfound time!! It’s awesome that you’re looking to make the most of it. Some ideas in no particular order for things you can do: - volunteer - as another commenter mentioned, there are a lot of organizations that request or accept crafted goods, i.e., preemie hats/blankets/octopi, hats/scarves/mitts for the homeless, etc. - you could also look into creating “heirloom” blankets for each of your children, or for friends/family who have upcoming anniversaries/babies/other importan…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/24 08:10 PM
6

We are trying to prevent women from ending up there. Genuine question, how would calling a woman “expired” and telling her that she’s hit the wall, her life is over, she’s going to die alone, etc. supposed to inspire her to want to suddenly change her life around and find a man and settle down, when men are the ones making the comments? If men are telling these women they’ll never find a man, that’s hardly inspiring to try and go find one, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 05:06 PM
7

Meanwhile if you had to pay someone else to do all of those domestic tasks, it would cost quite a bit. Because it is actual work. Domestic labor has always been undervalued, but what’s been fairly constant is a general lack of desire from the male population to do it. So it’s both “very valuable” that someone else does it, and “not valuable at all” because they don’t want to do it lol. And alternately considered simple/easy for the woman to do, but hard for the man to do. Talk about conflicting …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 11:35 AM
14

Frankly, that’s disingenuous. Did you personally experience that? Did each man you’ve met oppress you, prevent you from voting, or force you into performing domestic duties? Generalizing is always going to play to the lowest common denominator. Sure there are some shitty fucking people out there, but often giving someone just a little bit of the benefit of the doubt can make a world of difference. In a lot of ways, you get what you put out. And if you expect the worst, you’re only going to see t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 08:25 PM
25

Most/all of the starred or endorsed contributors there are married mothers. A lot of the advice on the RPW sub is mainly geared towards making our relationships with men better or more harmonious overall. What’s insane about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 05:27 PM
1

That’s a great suggestion, thank you. And a great reminder to frame it from the point of really listening to what he’s saying!
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/24 11:55 PM
2

Long story, but his father advised him not to fight her on it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 10:06 PM
5

He’s opened up a lot since I’ve met him, and other than this one singular issue, he’s never held anything from his past against me. He’s worked on his own health (physical, mental/emotional, and financial) a good bit too. And I’ve watched him step up in a lot of ways to be a present partner when I needed him, when he would distance himself in past relationships. However given that I’ve been upfront since our first date about wanting to get married and have kids, if that is something that he’s un…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 10:05 PM
1

he senses the inevitability of it but is just still too gun shy to pull the trigger That does make sense. And it does feel inevitable. We make little comments all the time referencing the future, being together until we’re old, our kids, our future house, etc. So I suppose I can see that perhaps that would make him feel like the actual act of getting married can be put off a bit, because it’s going to happen anyway so why rush it I guess? And actually on that point, we both have ADHD so I can 10…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 09:56 PM
5

I definitely see what you mean about the issues being self-imposed to a degree. And the housing one is definitely on me. However I’ve realized that hormonal BC doesn’t work for me, so it leaves me with fewer options, which makes things trickier in that respect. I appreciate your other questions as well. Given that I’ve been upfront from our first date about wanting to get married and have kids within a few years of dating, if his timeline were truly to be 5-10 years before marriage, that would b…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 09:48 PM
3

Bitch combo platter, for sure. Which included pressuring him into selling his house “so they could buy something that was theirs” only to take him for a bunch of money in the breakup, forcing him to become a renter again after being a homeowner for years. This is really the only thing that has come up as a serious issue in our relationship, but honestly I don’t really blame him given how shitty his ex was, and he’s been able to work through everything else. But it’s also confusing because he’s w…
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/24 02:31 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 11:39 PM
2

Oh we’re 100% getting one lol! And he’s known from the beginning that I’m fully on board with that.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 11:37 PM
7

Thank you for this. I really appreciate it. I do genuinely believe that he’s not leading me on - he’s just having difficulty with this one piece, and you’re right that worrying about your living situation can add a lot of stress! I think it’s entirely possible that you’re right and he’s looking at the house-buying from the perspective of assuming we’re going to be engaged soon, so the exact timing matters less to him. While we rent now, he’s been looking at houses since I met him, and he’s broug…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 11:36 PM
7

He hasn’t expressed any specific concerns unfortunately. And I’ve asked. I would love to address them if he does have them. Money to buy a ring was a concern at one point, and I found a lovely $100 ring I would be super happy with. But he said he wanted to get me something better. I also supported him at a time when he thought he might lose his job (although he didn’t). I encouraged him and reminded him that I trusted and loved him, and knew that he would figure it out. And he did! I also readil…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/24 11:17 PM
4

The next time your boyfriend suggests something, and you find yourself wanting to react negatively, try to take a breath and pause for a moment. What’s the worst that could happen if you listen to him? You mention in another comment that you’ve had thoughts around “well I’ve gotten this far on my own why should I listen to someone else?” But everyone, even top CEOs, listens to others sometimes, and it cant hurt to at least consider his opinion against your own before making your decision. If it …
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/24 12:25 PM
1

My man is a big emotional support. But he’s not my only emotional support, nor is he responsible for regulating my emotions. Can you tell us a bit more about what your ideal would look like? How would you like him to lead you emotionally or spiritually? When you want him to handle your emotions, what does that mean? I’ve just gotten past like a solid 3 months of work stress, and my boyfriend was a great support during that time. What that often looked like was me communicating and saying “hey so…
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 02:02 AM
2

That just sounds really unfortunate for everyone involved.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/24 01:44 AM
3

How is he supposed to know you’re free if you don’t tell him? “I could be free” means you also could be busy. So why would he go through the trouble of making plans just for you to say you’re busy? It comes across like you’re not that interested in making plans with him, because you’re hedging about whether or not you’re actually available. This is a miscommunication issue that could have easily been solved by you saying “Hey I was able to rearrange my schedule to be free on Thursday. It would b…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 06:22 PM
14

BJs [don’t] make me attached to him ???? You are planning to MARRY this man, and spend the rest of your life with him, and you don’t want to be attached to him?? That’s… incredibly concerning. I agree that trying to backtrack on sex now, if he’s not on the same page, is going to deal a massive blow to your relationship. Also - consider that as you both age, your sex drives will further decrease, and given the age gap, his will likely do so before yours does. You should not go into this marriage …
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 06:16 PM
1

So you’ve told him that you’re interested, but how have you shown him that you’re interested? Also how did the conversation go about Thursday, where plans “never materialized”? Did he know you rearranged your schedule to be free for a date that day? Did he know you wanted to see him?
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 06:01 PM
1

How long have you two been together? Has he ever planned or suggested dates? How have you reacted when he did? I agree that it feels like we need additional info here. And I agree that “where are you taking me this weekend” isn’t the best approach. It comes across as a bit manipulative, like you’re trying to force him into taking you somewhere, rather than just being honest or direct about what you’d like. I would start more neutrally with something like “what do you want to do this weekend?” If…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 05:42 PM
1

I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. This is good advice.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 04:12 PM
5

You’re posting on a sub that utilizes submission as a key strategy in improving relationships. Are you sure that that is what you meant to do? Talking about what your husband “should” do is simply a hypothetical exercise because none of us here, including you, can control his behavior. You can only control YOUR behavior. And that is the perspective that commenters here are coming from, and why they are suggesting that you make the change. If you waited until marriage to have sex, then it’s likel…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/24 04:11 PM
4

It sounds like you’re in a difficult situation, and I’m sorry for that. I think you’re doing an admirable job of looking for ways to take responsibility for your actions and how you’ve contributed to the problem. However I think that that (and STFU) only goes so far if your partner is still holding on to a lot of anger, which it sounds like he is. Based on this and your past posts, I’m going to take an alternate approach and suggest that you really dial in to your self-care, and make it a priori…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 01:19 PM
14

If you texted and he ignored you for a day, then reached out without acknowledging that the next day, then yeah, that’s a little weird. If he didn’t text and you didn’t text and he just reached out the following day - not weird at all. He reached out the following day like nothing happened because nothing actually happened.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/24 12:55 PM
4

My boyfriend and I had a good discussion about this recently actually. Long story short, as long as the man still has space and grace to plan things on his own (i.e., she’s not always critiquing his choices and is gracious and agreeable when he plans things), there’s nothing wrong with the woman planning dates. Especially if he works a demanding job - taking care of the details of a date can be every bit as feminine and loving as cooking him dinner or packing his lunch. In the early to mid datin…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 08:51 PM
2

Wish I could upvote this more than once!
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 08:26 PM
9

I am having a hard time seeing from your post what exactly is “bad” about a “50/50 marriage”. Can you explain what you think is wrong with it, or what you’re worried about if your relationship is considered to be 50/50? Marriage is a partnership, and both partners have their own strengths and weaknesses, but they both put the success of the relationship above that. Balancing our strengths with our partners weaknesses and vice versa is how you build a solid foundation for that partnership. Workin…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 08:18 PM
5

Was he always like this (and you knew that getting into the relationship), or was this something you found out after starting to date? And have you talked to him about this to get a sense of where his head is at? Have you discussed long term career goals, and his thoughts on how he’d like to get there? Where does he see himself in 5 years? Those are all things that might help you figure out whether or not you align. But realistically, if you don’t feel like you can trust his judgement enough to …
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/24 04:58 AM
1

Not interested in sci-fi or fantasy media. I’m a big fan of both genres and I feel like if I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t want to watch/read/consume anything under those labels, we’d have a hard time.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 09:04 PM
2

Agreed! “I know you’ll figure it out” is one of my favorite things to tell him when he vents about work, because it’s true. And sometimes reminding our partners that we think that can be so helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 01:49 PM
4

The Mother: I do quite a bit to take care of our home and pets, although I feel I could be more on top of things with this. I try and make sure he always knows that I love him though, and when he’s sick, etc. I give him the space or company he needs. The Confidante: My partner tends to brush things off so I take pleasure in being his soft place to land where he can let his guard down and be honest if something is bothering him. He knows he can tell me anything without worrying about an outsized …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 02:53 AM
6

Don’t underestimate the power of sharing your appreciation/respect/gratitude for his good judgement. Men innately desire respect, and the “support” part of confidante can easily look like sharing with him how lucky you feel that you can have such deep trust/faith in him, etc. Edit: being vulnerable and demonstrating your respect for his leadership could also fit for this I think. In my view, Cheerleader and Confidante have quite a bit of overlap, but Cheerleader is a bit more of the outward faci…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/24 01:44 AM
4

What do you do when he lays down and watches YouTube on these evenings? Do you continue to do things around the house, all the while building up more frustration that he’s relaxing? Do you relax yourself and do your own thing? And is he doing this before or after dinner? Can you add some fun or play into it, and ask him to play a card game with you, or take a bath together after dinner? Sometimes you’re going to need to just accept that the man is tired and doesn’t necessarily have capacity for …
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/24 03:36 PM
7

As others have said, you can’t make him want to spend time with you. You can’t control his behavior - you can only control yours. He has shown that he is comfortable deprioritizing time with you for other things. How do you react when he cancels, or when he says he has to leave early? You’ve allowed this behavior to continue, and it’s clear in reading this that he is not concerned about losing you over his behavior. That either means that he thinks you’ll stick by him no matter what, or that he …
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/24 07:35 PM
9

Married men statistically live longer than divorced men. That seems like a pretty good thing to get out of a relationship. Marital status doesn’t seem to have as marked an effect on how long women live though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 12:06 AM
5

I love how you broke this down!
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/24 04:13 PM
11

It sounds like you’re conflating submission with meekness and obedience with subservience, which is dangerous thinking. Obedience and submission do not remove your agency entirely, and they’re not a sign of weakness and defeat. Obedience and submission should only be given to someone whose judgement you trust, so what “defeat” is there? Ultimately, submission is a strategy. A lot of it comes down to trust and respect, which flows both ways. In a male-led relationship, that might look like: A wom…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/24 04:12 PM
5

Have you tried dating older men? In my experience, they’re more comfortable with themselves and their sexuality, and are more likely to have some of those traits you can look up to. One of my exes was powerful/dominant both in his personality and his career and yet he was very emotionally intelligent, listened well, and had a sweet side too. He was also 20 years older than me, and was absolutely husband material. We broke up for other reasons. The problem you’re going to have however is that the…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/24 05:44 PM
7

If he makes a move and you’re not ready for it, you can always playfully demur with something like “easy there tiger” and then make a comment about wanting to enjoy the build up and getting to know each other. How he reacts if you do need to turn him down will tell you a lot about him as well! If you don’t want to outright go to “what are you looking for” you could try aiming for more of a “what are your goals in life” or “where do you see yourself in 5/10 years” kinda thing. But there’s also no…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/24 05:01 PM
1

Just a couple weeks ago I had a convo with a girl I’ve met through friends and she was talking about how she’s stepped up to be a step-parent and how she’s super grateful for the opportunity, and how her partner was super appreciative as well. So, I would imagine it does happen for single dads with young kids, but maybe just isn’t talked about as much? Oh and I have a cousin who has 2 children with 2 different women, and I know that his current partner takes care of his previous child sometimes …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 09:14 PM
6

I say this with nothing but kindness: you’re focusing on the wrong things, and it’s taking you farther away from what you want. It’s okay to have complicated feelings about an ex, and to miss them - that’s normal, and that’s life. When it becomes a detriment to your current life, that’s where it crosses into unhealthy territory. You need to be focused on what you can do to build the life you want, not spending your energy mourning the life that you maybe, possibly could have had at one point in …
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/24 05:52 PM
2

Who’s getting offended? I’m just disagreeing with you and using my personal anecdotes against your personal anecdotes. I agree that our experiences form our perspectives and biases. And honestly I think my dad would be fine, he’s really great at finding/making his own opportunities - if my parents were to divorce today I’d be much more worried about my mom dying alone than my dad. Age is a factor too - I knew a lot more virgins in my early 20s than I do now in my late 20s. Although generally I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 05:30 PM
5

My brother is not super tall (5’7”), has a visible skin condition and has had no problem dating girls all his life, and has never had to drop hundreds to get his gfs to stay with him lol. My dad is 5’2” and my parents have been married 30 years. One of my friend’s bfs is 2 inches shorter than her, and she makes a bit more than he does too. But please keep going on about how women are only attracted to the hottest, tallest, richest men lol… because I just don’t see that in reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 04:53 PM
1

Resistance and strength training have been scientifically proven to help firm skin. You can also try taking collagen and making sure you’re getting the vitamins you need! If you’re really concerned, red light therapy has benefits for helping stimulate cell turnover in skin. Beyond that, as others have said, a breast lift would probably be your best bet.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 02:21 PM
3

I say this with kindness - healing an anxious attachment style is something that you have to figure out for yourself. Your boyfriend can’t do that for you, and you’ll just require him to do more and more and more to assuage your anxiety, and it’ll never be enough. Therapy of course is a good first step, but when you have those feelings you should also take some time to do some introspection and self-reflection. There are plenty of online resources to pick what works for you, but it’s work that y…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 02:07 PM
3

Hi mama, I agree with what others have said about it being okay that you’re going through a hard time right now, and to give yourself some grace! You are going through a lot, and you don’t have to be “perfect” while you do it, because no one is. The other ladies have given you some great advice already, but I just wanted to chime in and share this post from the Gottman Institute that outlines some positive interactions you can use to build up your “bank” of positive connections, so to speak. And…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 01:53 PM
5

I would highly recommend that you read Lori Gottlieb’s book Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. I know you’ve said you don’t want to settle - and despite the title, this book is not about that. The book does go into a good examination of what’s realistic to expect and be looking for when you’re dating at a bit of an older age, and may help you realize what work you might need to do to get ready to be truly open to dating. It sounds like you’ve had a hard time finding men who yo…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 01:32 PM
2

Totally agreed - that a great point. If the two people in the relationship are happy and feel like the relationship is balanced and fair, then that’s all that matters!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 01:15 PM
1

For sure! The exact framing is probably the thing that’s likely to change most, couple to couple. And I agree that in the end it’s more about being aware of the differences in how we each communicate and show love, and looking to bridge any gaps that may come. Thanks for starting this discussion!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/24 01:11 PM
14

Perhaps the metaphor might be helpful for others, but the idea of having/awarding/deducting “points” in a relationship doesn’t really resonate with me. Although I agree with some of your points, as I understand them. I agree more with u/Wife_and_Mama that people will be generally aware of a feel for the balance in a relationship, and that that affects their behavior and how they approach the other person, without points being needed. And I agree with you, too, that there can often be a disconnec…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 01:26 AM
8

Hmm. This is a tough one. Did he perhaps have a past relationship that might put his actions in context? Not excusing his behavior, but if he had an ex who would blow up at things or question what he was doing, it might be an old habit that he did without thinking, and then he panicked and lied on the spot thinking that it wasn’t a big deal and was worried about fallout. That’s a generous reading though. Honestly, if things are as good as you say, I would be straight up with him. “Hey babe, do y…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 08:47 PM
8

Just a head’s up that retinol is made less effective by sunlight, so you might get more bang for your buck using it at night. But I 1000% agree on checking that the ingredients are safe for pregnancy/breast-feeding. There are a surprising amount of products that aren’t!
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 10:37 PM
5

Do you need a 12 step routine? Probably not. Do you need some form of routine? I would argue absolutely. But it’s more than just skincare. Skincare is a spectrum but the most basic components are cleanser, moisturizer, and SPF. If you are washing your face you should be replenishing its moisture with a moisturizer, and given that sun is the number one cause of skin damage, using SPF will help to slow the natural progress of that over time. You don’t have to get any more complicated than that. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 10:27 PM
6

You might benefit from developing friendships with other women - satisfying your need for outside companionship (a completely normal thing, as our partners cannot be everything to us always) while not engaging in any possibly inappropriate relationships with other men.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 12:29 PM
9

Agreed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 02:39 PM
22

But like… who is asking you your standards? Why does anyone feel the need to be like “by the way I won’t date fat people, just so you know!” Like who cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 02:06 PM
6

Yeah, my father’s parents divorced fairly early (although they still had 6 kids lol) and she never remarried. We’re actually pretty sure that she was a lesbian but could never admit it. It’s not like her and my grandpa were ever having great sex. Towards the end they basically hated each other, but had to stay together because what else was she going to do? Is that really what men want to go back to lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 02:01 PM
2

I want to have children, so yes, I would leave a man who didn’t want to marry. If he can’t commit to building a family unit together with me (which includes marriage IMO), then he’s not someone I want a family with.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 01:16 AM
3

Have you tried redirecting your thoughts rather than ruminating on things you can’t change? It’s great that you recognize that you need to change something here, and it’s great that you’re self-aware enough to put words to what you’re feeling. So kudos to you for that! I think that it’s perhaps a perspective change that’s most needed here. You yourself said that you find other men attractive, but that doesn’t make you want to leave your fiancé, right? Because what you two have is hopefully based…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/24 07:15 PM
6

I initially replied to your question of what sets a woman apart when a 1% man is doing the selecting. What does that have to do with short broke men and Victoria’s Secret models? But to answer your question - if she thinks he’s an attractive prospect as a partner, then sure, it’s a possibility. But again, it’s subjective and individual. Do they have compatible lifestyles? That’s a huge predictor for whether or not couples can succeed. And if he’s staying at home because he’s broke and she’s livi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:15 AM
12

What does that have to do with your question about what brings together top 1% men and women?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 04:05 AM
17

Chemistry. Spark. Shared interests (niches I mentioned above). Desire for the same lifestyle. Compatible long term goals. Shared kinks. Shared backgrounds/experiences. Ability to get along. Etc. Same thing as literally every other relationship. At the end of the day everything is subjective and individual. One person’s “what sets them apart” can be entirely uninteresting to one person, and absolutely irresistible to another.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 03:58 AM
16

Whatever makes the individual man pick them? Some of those men might really want a woman who loves to travel, some of them might want a woman really into the bimbo look, some of them might really want a woman into guns, etc…. there's no "one answer" to this question. Women succeed when they play to a specific man's interests, or when they play to a specific niche interest. Whatever that may be.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 03:52 AM
2

Love this question!
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 03:42 AM
1

That sounds like a great step! I’m glad he was receptive to your apology - and hopefully that can help the two of you “reset” things a bit. Focusing on the good parts, the gratitude, and trying to approach things better from now on is about all you can do, so just keep doing that. If you’re really worried, you can always be a little extra sweet to him as part of that apology, but it sounds like the two of you have a good partnership, and it’s really great that you were about to recognize a behav…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 03:40 AM
9

The point of nun mode is to heal and grow and get yourself in a position where you can go into a new relationship from a mature and healthy place. You should start your journey by thinking about what, exactly, you need to change to get there. And why you want to do nun mode at all. What are your goals for this time period? That will ultimately determine how long it takes you. Like if you just need to work on your looks a bit, that can be done in a month or two. But if you need to do more difficu…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/24 03:36 AM
5

I agree with u/Astroviridae about trying to reframe your mindset to a place of gratitude. It doesn’t happen overnight, but catching those thoughts before you say them out loud and trying to combat them with gratitude will help steer you in the other direction. As an example, if I see something that needs to be done and think “why didn’t he XYZ…” then I try and remind myself that “well he DID do ABC….” Reminding yourself of the things you love about him and the things he does do for you/your fami…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/24 01:45 PM
4

I played competitive sports growing up, and it wasn’t until university that I really tapped into my “feminine” side, but even then it took a while before I was comfortable wearing dresses and heels and being more outwardly feminine on a more casual basis (i.e., beyond special events). I agree with the others that you can still be you and begin to incorporate more feminine touches to ease into it. Starting small will help it feel more natural. Super co-sign for choosing more flattering/feminine a…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 07:13 PM
7

What was his primary concern? Like that you spend time with other men which means… what? And what does he see as the solution - does he want you to cut your friends off entirely, or only see them in group settings? I think there could be some nuance here, but it really depends on what he’s asking for. I agree with the others that you’re still in the vetting stages. Decide what you’re comfortable with, and what you’d like your relationship to look like. Your relationship is what the two of you de…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 06:40 PM
1

Ultimately I find that the strategies here work well for me in my relationships and life, and they help me achieve my goals. I don’t think it’s the best choice for everyone necessarily, but it works for me. The main thing about RPW for me is the focus on personal accountability, which I think is applicable in all areas of life. I cannot control anyone else’s behavior, only my own. So what can I do with that? And what will I do? How can I manage my behavior and expectations to have better interac…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 11:35 PM
1

I suppose it really comes down to how important those values are to you! Most fishers I know take the majority of their fish home to freeze and eat later. There’s only so much fish you can eat in one shore lunch lol! And there might be more nuance to it than comes across in a photo, or maybe it’s exactly what it looks like. But if it’s an important value to you that they respect the life of the fish in certain ways, then it’s not stupid, because it probably means you’re incompatible anyway. You …
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 11:28 PM
5

If you’ve already been intimate with Guy A I think you owe it to yourself and him to give it a fair shot by focusing on dating just him for a while. If you continually date multiple men, it will be hard for you to be satisfied with one because you’ll always be comparing them, and that’s not a healthy way to approach relationships. But if you don’t like the idea of being exclusive with Guy A then it sounds like you’re just not that into him. If you are interested in him long term, waiting until h…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/23 10:53 PM
2

For sure you can support and initiate while not “leading” the relationship. One way that works well for me is to really lean into the “Goddess of Fun and Light” advice from Laura Doyle, and share your enthusiasm for things with him. As your relationship is still fairly new, this can also be a great way to get to know him better. As an example you could tell him about an upcoming event you’re interested, and say that it looks so fun!! That you love XYZ. Would he want to come with you? You could A…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/23 06:53 PM
8

I agree with Sunshine that you’re going to have to make the effort. A lot of friendships start with proximity + time. What do you do in your free time? Find a hobby or other interest group, attend the group outings regularly, and talk with the women there with whom you feel an interest in friendship. You already have something in common to break the ice. And after chatting with them for a while in the hobby group, ask them to an event or for a movie or coffee outside of that. Make an effort to s…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 08:38 PM
2

Lol well what else am I gonna do? But realistically, there is a lot of good in the world, and a lot of beauty, and a lot of joy. Yes, there is pain and tragedy as well, but that is only temporary. And with everything, absolutely everything, you can take something from it and learn and grow from it. You have that choice. I thought about this recently, how I would try and instill a love for being active and trying new things in my children. And essentially it comes down to - I want them to know th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/23 07:01 PM
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You used to be able to, yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:16 PM
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Aw poor baby
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:15 PM
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I would consider attractiveness secondary to sexual experience tbh. If I was still single, I wouldn’t be very interested in casual sex, but would potentially be open to something with someone who was like very experienced. Whereas there’s a bit more flexibility/time to grow in a committed relationship. Re: your actual question though, if I’m gonna just hookup then it would be great to be with someone stupidly hot vs in a relationship I prefer someone who is more on my level, so it’s more equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:14 PM
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I’ve never watched it, but I’ve heard good things about Veep! The IT Crowd is also pretty timeless imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:10 PM
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Shit like this is so funny to me, because it’s men essentially saying that they don’t know what a normal woman’s body looks like. Do people not know how to use Google anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:07 PM
2

It’s really simple - talk about the attractive things you do, don’t talk about the unattractive things you do. It’s like a job interview. Are you going to tell them that you snooze your alarm at least three times every morning? No. Same with dating - always put your best foot forward. Why yes, I love baking and cleaning and cooking for my man. And I do! But I’m not going to mention how my ADHD sometimes makes it so I wash my sheets like once a month lol. People really tell on themselves too much…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 11:20 AM
2

Can you talk with a financial planner maybe, who can go into detail about why savings are important to have, and make a plan for you both for how to achieve your financial goals? I’m not sure if this is necessarily the solution, but just a thought. Having outside perspective could be helpful to him shifting his.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/23 05:54 PM
12

I respect the average man just fine. I give all people the friendly, respectful benefit of the doubt until they give me reason to think otherwise. Edit: I do think that perhaps some people have knee-jerk reactions where they act rude to people from the jump, but it’s most likely that those people are just rude in general - not specific to gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/23 12:45 PM
3

One time when I was bagging groceries, I noticed there was a man standing at the end of the register behind me. My mom and aunt after told me that he spent the entire time staring at my ass. Like a good 3-5 minutes, not moving, not looking elsewhere. I’ve been groped in public, by strangers. I’ve had men make super sexual jokes out of nowhere (i.e. one time in school, we’re talking about similes, and one kid goes “so like (my name) likes dick” when I was a prude virgin at the time lmao). Catcall…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 11:51 PM
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Even when I first took it, I never felt that way. Probably explains why coke never did anything for me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 02:00 PM
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My boyfriend and I both have ADHD. A few months back, he took one of my 30mg Vyvanse (2nd-lowest dose) to see if it would help him at all, and he was basically coked out and super wired for like 8-10 hours. This morning I took a 50mg Vyvanse (2nd-highest dose), took the dog out, and then went back to sleep. Granted, I’m sick right now, but still. Body chemistry is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:33 PM
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Looks matched. They’re both super cute imo!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:24 PM
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Agreed with all of this! There’s really something to be said for a low-stakes first date (in case you don’t click) with a more casual/toned-down look and also for ramping up the effort as you get to know each other more. Plus, it’s a fun and subtle way to signal your deepening interest in him, and gauge his deepening interest in you. I met my bf on a sports team so he never really saw me “put together” until the first time we were out socially as friends, and then it was flattering to see how he…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:23 PM
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For a first date? Coffee date! Nice and chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 01:15 PM
3

What part of that is bullshit?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 11:23 AM
3

This is my favorite take lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 11:20 AM
5

Are those women just waiting around for each of those men, or are they also seeing other men too?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/23 10:47 AM
1

Sure, and those women will remain alone until they readjust their perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/23 06:56 PM
13

“Two yes, one no” means that both parties have to agree to something for it to be added to the relationship. If one party does not agree to it, it’s not added.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 05:21 PM
71

Your fiancé wants to sleep with other women and your comfort around the subject clearly means very little to him. If he hasn’t already stepped out of your relationship, this is a big waving sign to you that he intends to at some point. He has proven to you that being allowed to sleep with other women (on his own, without you involved) is more important to him than your relationship, and his justifications are purely selfish. He’s literally telling you that getting sex is his main motivator in li…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/23 02:43 PM
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The lyrics are: I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night / I threw my phone across the room at you / I was expecting some dramatic turn away / But you stayed This morning I said we should talk about it / 'Cause I read you should never leave a fight unresolved / That's when you came in wearing a football helmet / And said, "Okay, let's talk" It’s played in a cutesy way but tbh I don’t think throwing things at a partner should be like a “haha aren’t I quirky when I get mad” kinda thing
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 06:19 PM
4

Do you have a church community you can rely on? I would imagine that that would be a great first place to start. If there are any couples you admire, you can ask them if they know any men within your criteria who they can set you up with. Or perhaps your pastor/priest knows someone?
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/23 06:59 PM
9

I would move on. This is definitely a case of “if he wanted to, he would”. My bf is a terrible texter, but he made such an effort in the beginning stages of us getting together. This guy is just not that into you, unfortunately. Find someone who wants to communicate with you. Communication is huge in a relationship, and if the two of you were to eventually get together, putting up with this is setting a dangerous precedent for future communication issues.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/23 06:31 PM
5

I grew up a tomboy, and felt uncomfortable with anything feminine. I was also terribly shy. So I made a conscious effort to change my wardrobe and put myself out there when I went to uni. And it honestly made a world of difference! In general I have worked to become more grateful and positive, to come at things with a solution-focused mindset, and to approach those around me with respect and kindness. I also did (and do) a LOT of introspection and self-reflection, which I can’t recommend enough.…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/23 08:38 PM
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Agreed! Although I always hit a small slump around mid-morning at work now, when previously that’s when I had the most energy to get shit done. Have you experienced anything like that? Any tips for getting around it?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:57 PM
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That sounds dope. What kind of things have you been working on for fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:37 PM
5

Having been in multiple age gap relationships, they’re really not the norm. The 18-22 year olds aren’t taking the 30+ year olds seriously to get married and have kids, they’re attracted to them for having money and their own place lol. And more often than not, they’re way more into the guy a few (<5) years older. I doubt men often “unintentionally” date younger women. They know what they’re doing. And that’s fine! It’s fine for men to be attracted to youth and beauty, in the same what that it’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:32 PM
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Going to the gym regularly. I feel like a brand new person tbh!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:12 PM
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Oh, I believe it! What language are you learning now?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:09 PM
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Lol yes! It’s going somewhat well? I slept in today, but was up early Mon/Tues and will be up early tomorrow. So I think that’s progress! And honestly going to the gym before work, not after, means I get a lot more free time in the evenings which has also been really nice. Thanks for asking ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:08 PM
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Nah it doesn’t have to be big. Big dicks can be painful, and not in the fun way :(
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 07:02 PM
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You ever start a good habit and then kick yourself for not doing it earlier?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:54 PM
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I’m pretty open to most things, so that’s up to him really. Just some level of trying new things (within reason of course).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:37 PM
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Is that a threat or a promise? 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:33 PM
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Face Body Willingness/desire to explore/experiment in bed Height
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:24 PM
3

F29, dating 2 years. In terms of income, we’re 60/40 for him and I respectively. He takes care of most of the household bills, but I still contribute. Overall it’s probably more like 70/30 including groceries and everything. No kids, and chores depend. He does a lot of the “icky” stuff (garbage, dog poop, cleaning toilets, laundering his work clothes) and I take care of much of the rest. He does like to cook so while I still cook the majority of the time, it’s not the large majority. Yes we’re p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:21 PM
3

I guess I mean like… GoT was marketed as a show for everyone. It had both male and female main characters, and men and women from all walks of life watched it, etc. Women were raped and killed, but it was played for drama/it was considered serious. Whereas GTA is marketed basically exclusively to men, the playable characters are all male, and while the game never requires you to kill a hooker for any of the missions, killing hookers in GTA is like…. A whole thing lol, and is more of a joke than …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 07:59 PM
3

I suppose it’s more in the way that watching something like Game of Thrones isn’t coded masculine, but playing GTA is?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 06:52 PM
6

When you’re feeling insecure about this, literally just do something else. It happens - it’s a good sign that you really like this guy! And it’s good that you recognize that you don’t want to come across as clingy/desperate. As long as you’re not constantly texting him or trying to get his attention when he’s busy, I’m sure it’ll work out fine. So again, just distract yourself with something else. Hang out with friends, pick up a new hobby, watch a favorite show, or play a video game. Just do so…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/23 03:56 PM
2

When you say he hid things, what does that mean? If he’s not giving you every single detail of something he did, that’s normal. If he’s leaving out the fact that he has a child, that’s very different.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 07:43 PM
2

You can show you’re willing to invest in other ways. Sometimes it can be as small as remembering something he said and asking follow up questions. Ask him about his day. Ask him how his test or job interview went. Ask him how his friend was that came down for the weekend from out of town. Stuff to basically show that you care about him as a person. What does he like to do? You can suggest an activity along those lines, or mention something you read/saw recently that is somewhat related to the to…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 02:54 PM
5

You 100% need your own lawyer to look at this prenup. And as has been mentioned, make the terms explicit what constitutes “infidelity”. Additionally - you seem to have a lot of concerns about this relationship, not the least of which is his cheating past and current hypocritical ways. You also posted in another sub that if your relationship (and premarital sex life) were to be discovered, his reputation would be destroyed. Does that sound like a man who makes sound decisions, and has your best i…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/23 02:32 PM
2

It depends on your skill set and what he likes! Some ideas I can think of that may or may not work for you are: Cooking dinner; back/shoulder massages; making him a coffee in the morning or bringing him a coffee when you meet up; if you are crafty you could make him something he could use, like a blanket (my boyfriend LOVED the one I made for him); picking up something small that he should have at his house but doesn’t, or something that makes his life easier; minor mending to his clothes (butto…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/23 08:01 PM
2

Awesome, I hope all goes well for you and your man!
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 11:34 PM
36

I think that incremental reciprocity will be your friend here. When he does things that wow you, or that make you feel like he cares, or when he shows you what kind of partner he plans to be to you, this is a great opportunity to be warm, grateful, and affectionate, and to do things for him in kind. As he steps up and does more of these things (and because you give him positive feedback when he does, he should want to do them more) then you can add more of the submissive/deferential/caretaking a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 03:00 PM
7

This sounds too much like the manipulation OP wants to avoid IMO. Waiting to accept being his girlfriend, even though she wants to? Dating him exclusively, but holding back emotionally? Why play mind games?
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/23 02:31 PM
9

My boyfriend and I talked about this. In childbirth, he would choose me. If we’re talking like, burning building scenario, he would save the helpless child who can’t get out on their own over the adult who has more resources at their disposal to help themselves escape. Which I think is fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 03:36 AM
6

I mean I get what you’re saying, and it’s pretty terrible, honestly. Male sexuality has certainly been demonized, and while yes, there are bad actors out there, and most women experience sexual assault at some point in their lives, obviously that’s not all men. And it’s definitely not most men who are in an average relationship. You’re right that sex is important. To most people, on some level. Anyone trying to say it’s not is straight up delusional. Like it’s fucking heartbreaking to look in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 03:32 AM
6

Hell yeah. I also brought up marriage and children on our first date. If we’re not on the same page, best to figure it out early. Why waste time or beat around the bush when something as serious as marriage is concerned?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 02:34 AM
8

Sex/sexuality/intimacy is absolutely an important (and for most people, necessary) part of romantic relationships imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 02:29 AM
5

Like I said re: compatibility - we like a lot of the same things, have a lot of the same dislikes, can tolerate things the other likes that we are neutral about, etc. He is open to exploring in ways I also want to explore. We both enjoy pleasing each other. Essentially, we both like the same kind of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 01:50 AM
3

Right, which is where the conversation piece comes in handy - especially for things like this, you can discuss certain boundaries ahead of time. My point is really just that no amount of conversation or saying that you want a man to do x or y and him saying that he also likes x or y means anything if he doesn’t actually do it. I’ve had that happen. I’ve also had it happen where we had GREAT chemistry before we actually had sex. And then we had sex and it was… not great. Which is why I rely on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 01:42 AM
6

Yeah but do you know how many men say they like to be dominant in bed but actually have no idea what that means lmao? Or have a different definition? Quite a few, in my experience. I have had the conversations upfront. Because I agree with you - talking about what you like and don’t like in bed is a super important conversation, and every couple or prospective couple should absolutely talk about these things. You’re totally right! It’s just that saying that you can run a 10k and actually running…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 01:32 AM
5

I’ve tried that. Trust me, not everyone is willing to learn :( Plus if I’m really into something and he’s not, or vice versa, one of us is gonna be unhappy/unsatisfied. Why sign up for that if you don’t have to? Better to find out early and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 01:11 AM
8

Plenty. But that’s how vetting works. Not everyone’s going to be a fit, so it’s in everyone’s best interest to figure that out as early as possible. There were plenty of guys who were good on paper, we got along super well, etc. but the sex was just… not good. Imagine if I’d wasted 3-6 months on each of them? I’d be an old hag lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 01:05 AM
7

If you think that Britney Spears or N’Sync have been forgotten, boy do I have news for you lol. Britney is still regularly in the news. And every year, the “it’s gonna be May” meme comes back up. I’m not talking as far back as the Greeks - I’m talking about things like the influence that Jazz and Blues had on the 1920s, and the rise of records and the artists that came along in the 50s and beyond. Notable people still get talked about. And regardless of whether or not you consider them notable, …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:59 AM
11

Yes! And I found him. We had sex real early too, because surprise, we both enjoy sex. Sexual compatibility means that you like enough of the same things in bed, can tolerate the things that they like even if you don’t love them, and that the two of you can grow and explore together sexually. That you have fun and enjoy having sex together, and it’s a mutually pleasurable experience. Why would I ever sign up to spend the rest of my life with someone if we can’t have great sex? That’s basically as…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:49 AM
10

Uh, what? We still talk about famous musicians and performers from the early twentieth century and before. Human society will absolutely continue to discuss music and popular culture for decades to come. It turns out that different people are interested in different topics, and many topics can be part of cultural discourse at once.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:45 AM
6

Right? Talk about a recipe for a dead bedroom…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:37 AM
11

Why would I want to wait that long to have sex? I wanna make sure we’re compatible, and not wasting each others time. Having sex is a valuable vetting strategy. Sexual chemistry is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:36 AM
20

Ancient Romans had a shit ton of orgies, and Ancient Greeks fucked little boys 🥴 or are we cherry-picking ancients now lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/23 12:32 AM
2

Aw, I love that! Congrats on meeting your wife that way. I actually met my boyfriend (future husband) on my team as well, and got a pretty kickass friend group on top of it. There are so few natural/low-pressure ways for men and women to meet each other these days, and co-ed sports are really such a great way to do it! You can’t necessarily go in expecting it to happen, but it’s really just a way for more men and women to cross each other’s paths and interact in a low-stakes (or high, depending …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 10:38 AM
1

It’s a lot of intangibles honestly! Which isn’t an easy answer, but it’s a true one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:17 PM
2

We met on a kink site. I have a thing for older men, we shared a lot of the same kinks, and we got along ridiculously well. So we dated. Easy-peasy. Edit: I’m now dating (and will marry) a man only 4 years older than me. Despite the older guy being great, the difference in life stages was too big to overcome. I’m much happier now.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:15 PM
4

I’ve seen it both ways honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:11 PM
1

When I was early/mid twenties, my same-age friends thought I was fucking insane to be dating a man 21 years older than me lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:10 PM
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Generally, the only time a woman “hates” a player is when she can’t get him to commit, or when there is outright deception. Otherwise, there’s no reason to hate them. And if more men shamelessly used women, then there would simply be less desirable men in the pool for a woman that doesn’t find those behaviors desirable. I don’t hate men who don’t fit what I want, I just move on. You can still be a player and have respect, honesty, and integrity. They’re not mutually exclusive. And a man who is “…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 08:05 PM
2

Hm, maybe. I don’t see that in anyone that I know personally, but I’ve heard the States is worse than Canada, so who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:46 PM
3

Do you genuinely believe that most women in relationships are “an average thot who feels like she settled”?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:36 PM
2

Ooh yeah I can definitely see your point about the competition piece, and how it reduces the overall opportunity to a specific, shallow goal rather than actually embracing self-improvement. Like I’ve never seen them say “set a personal goal like running a half-marathon and then train to make it happen, thereby learning other skills like discipline along the way” it’s just “hit the gym and get big” which is much more… flat. I feel even just a perspective shift could make a huge difference too, if…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:34 PM
2

Haha, I believe in you! It’s also just a fun way to do something different and meet new people really! So you can’t go wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:24 PM
5

Honestly, joining co-ed sports changes the game for this. Most of the people on my team have kids, and they love having a social outlet lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 07:03 PM
0

I guess as a semi-athletic person I see “the gym” and “being fit” as part and parcel with another. Going to the gym and lifting weights makes a man more likely to be able to play the sport better, to open the jar easier, to move the furniture easier, and to have better cardio for sex. All of those things are attractive. Does he need to lift weights to do that? No. But does it make doing those things a bit easier (provided he has a reasonable routine that is tailored towards his goals and not jus…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 06:55 PM
2

Only the top tier ever make that much per hour, realistically most SWs are making less than $100 a pop, pun intended.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/23 06:25 PM
2

I’m a bit confused here. In what context are you “hear[ing] this content drivel day in and day out”? Like is he watching this stuff and then wanting to discuss it with you? Are you watching it together? Or is he doing his thing while you’re doing yours in the same space, so you hear it? Because you can just stop talking about it or watching the videos with him and change the subject. You don’t have to engage in these things. You also don’t have to agree on everything. My boyfriend and I don’t. A…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 06:40 PM
4

Sounds like an uncomfortable position to put you in. I don’t blame you for not knowing what to say - I don’t know that I would have either. If it comes up again, it might be worth telling her that you don’t want to be involved in your father’s relationship, and that these are questions/concerns she should be bringing to her partner, not you. If she asks about a specific thing (i.e. “do you think he would prefer x or y for Christmas this year?”) then it’s up to you if you want to support or not, …
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 04:03 PM
1

I just mean that we don’t yet understand how plugging it up and blocking emission for X timeframe may have an affect on the long-term viability of one’s sperm. It’s simply too early for there to be enough long-term analysis. It seems like a great idea, but until we really know, we don’t really know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/23 02:56 PM
7

I don’t think that just because it’s in the book means it 100% has to be done that way all the time with no exceptions. RPW strategies are a toolbox, and not every tool is right for every relationship. That being said, for my boyfriend who had an ex who chipped away at his professional confidence, I’ve found that the use of positive “spouse-fulfilling prophecies” have been very helpful to building him up and encouraging him. It doesn’t have to be a “lie” like “you’re the best at the company, the…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 02:22 PM
6

I’m so glad that my boyfriend and I moved in together. It’s grown our relationship in so many ways that we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to if we were still living separately. We’re both able to save much more money, and we have way more sex lol. I did make it clear to my boyfriend that I was not interested in moving in unless we saw this leading to marriage, but we’ve been on the same page about that since the beginning, so that wasn’t ever a concern (and after a year of living together, st…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/23 05:28 PM
7

I don’t think there’s quite enough information here for anyone to know your husband’s intentions better than you would. Can you provide further context? The questions under rule 6 in the sidebar are always a good starting point. You wrote that he’s making these jokes in a “mean-spirited way”. Does he make mean-spirited jokes often? How often is he showing you these videos? How did you react when he did this, and have you talked to him about this at all? It seems like you’re taking these comments…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 10:43 AM
8

This is a great way to not have any sort of meaningful relationship with your children :(
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:37 PM
2

Sure, but most people still aren’t having kids in their early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 12:28 PM
8

I’d be really curious about the long-term impact on male fertility and sperm count tbh. I know a few couples who are struggling with fertility in their late 20s on both partner’s ends, and I doubt having something like this would have a positive impact on men’s fertility on average… Something to keep an eye on if/when this gets rolled out I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 04:18 AM
1

It was a rhetorical question, but I appreciate your good-faith answer!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:29 PM
3

I’ve never had an issue getting men to commit, except for like, maybe my first couple teenage relationships? And tbh they weren’t even that good looking, I was just inexperienced.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 02:28 PM
5

For the date itself? It depends, but generally the person who asks, pays. I really don’t think who pays is the be-all, end-all though.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/23 02:16 PM
1

I held my boyfriend in my arms not long ago while he cried about something his mom is going through, and we have sex quite frequently. If he can’t open up to his partner, who the hell can he open up to? I’m his safe space; that’s part of my job. Just like he’s mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 12:07 PM
2

I thought RPW methods were aimed at casting the widest net possible… Mm yes and no. It’s about landing the best/most compatible man a woman can find, and then keeping him. Some of that is “appeal to as many men as possible” and some of that is “appeal to specifically the type of man you want.” I was agreeing with you that OP will likely have to compromise on her laundry list of attributes she wants in a man. But I do think that what OP said she brings (i.e., feminine skills, gardening, cooking/b…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 11:20 PM
8

the older you are the more jaded you are For some people, sure. For others, who have taken the time to work through their shit, not so much. Life is the best teacher. Emotional growth, and understanding your wants and needs and how to support a partner are huge pluses for a good RMV, which is absolutely what makes women valuable in a LTR. People can be emotionally mature, emotionally immature, jaded, or open at any age. But the stereotype of “high school/college drama” is rooted in fact - younge…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 08:38 PM
4

If absolutely nothing changed in your life except for the fact that you two married, would you be happy? If not, then maybe he deserves someone who is a better fit for him, as do you. Expecting someone to change shows that you’re more in love with an idealized potential version of them then the actual person in front of you. And that’s a recipe for resentment. But if you can realistically accept these things about him and compromise and let it go without holding resentment, then perhaps it can w…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 08:24 PM
2

I mean I do get your point here but there are men that fit this bill, my boyfriend included. Given what OP offers (homemaking skills, gardening, making things from scratch, etc) I think she’s not necessarily unreasonable for wanting someone with a similar skill set. The issue is more what she considers “liberal leaning” for exactly the reason you stated - most country men are conservative leaning. If that can be compromised on then I think she’ll be fine - but her the fact that her current fianc…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/23 08:19 PM
17

I haven’t listened in a long time (it’s toxic as hell lol), but I remember the girls on Call Her Daddy saying something like “5 or 6, die for that dick.” Essentially meaning that girls who are less attractive are usually more desperate for the validation of an attractive male, and therefore more likely to do anything for him or compromise on what she wants to keep him around. (Although being sexually open/available/enthusiastic was also a strategy they were telling girls to help them keep their …
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/23 11:43 AM
5

Idk why you’re getting downvoted - a lot of older couples I know (I’m talking my parents ages) have a 4-6 year gap. It was super super common back then.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/23 11:22 AM
1

I’m not OP (I think your response was directed at her?), but I do appreciate you elaborating on this, thank you. I’d also be curious as to what your perspective is on what a “big fight” entails! I’ve never really had a big fight in a romantic relationship (other than a few with a semi-toxic ex) and I haven’t seen this as a negative, but you’ve got me thinking. If you didn't fight before, chances are there are things that are not being said. If you have felt very satisfied with this situation of …
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/23 08:42 PM
3

This and your other comment do give greater context, thank you. It sounds like this is weighing quite heavily on you :( If he was aware that you didn’t have a car and would need a drive to the bus stop to get to school, it’s unfair for him to get annoyed by the situation he made happen. That’s also a pretty big move to make for a boyfriend and not a husband, although I think you’re right to get these issues sorted before marriage. Can you point to times where “what’s best for the relationship” a…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 06:43 PM
6

What relationship decisions has he made and expected you to submit to that you feel disadvantage you? What decisions are you struggling with after the fact? It’s difficult to understand the context if we don’t know what those decisions are. If he’s insisting that you quit your job to start turning tricks on the side because you can make more money that way, then he’s not being a good captain.. But if he’s suggesting that you eat less junk food and work out more, that’s a lot more reasonable. A r…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 05:11 PM
5

“Submission” is more about me being able to follow his leadership happily. […] and follow his leadership without questions or resentment. Can you elaborate on this a bit? i.e., what kind of questions are you asking about his leadership, how often, and what does submitting “happily” look like to him? If you’re nagging him on every decision, I can see his point. If any questions at all are seen as disrespectful, then I am concerned. I do believe that in a committed relationship and with a lot of t…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 03:08 PM
6

I haven’t heard this before, can you share a bit more about what you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 02:46 PM
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But you’re essentially saying that only tall good looking guys have confidence, which is not the case. There are plenty of men who don’t fit that bill who are confident, and plenty of tall good looking men who aren’t. You can’t automatically conflate the two.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 11:27 AM
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I disagree. Charisma (and confidence) can be learned. It’s essentially just a pattern of behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 11:24 AM
5

Honestly… I really liked the portrayal of marriage in Indian Matchmaking on Netflix. The bits about the people trying to find love are interspersed with real couples sharing about their experiences, and they’re really sweet. Also, the matchmaker herself and the families of those who are looking can have some good words of wisdom for the people looking for a partner. Overall I found it a good portrayal of the things that matter in a relationship vs the things that don’t.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/23 06:28 PM
7

These men out here really thinking that hair isn’t significant? Literally no one would approach a woman with hair like this. Most men actually do care about women’s hair and it makes a huge impact on how a woman is perceived. So that part just made me laugh. It’s another thing where it’s like “as long as it meets an attractiveness threshold then it’s less important”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 12:57 PM
-1

In a monogamous relationship, partners should make a good-faith effort to meet their partner’s sexual needs. Sometimes that requires compromise on the amount of sex that one person might want to have. Willingly ignoring or refusing to meet your partners needs even a little bit, is pretty bitchy. Like just break up at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 12:48 PM
0

Basically this post before OP brings the kids into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 12:45 PM
–

It’s honestly such a shame that there isn’t more porn out there where the man makes noises like he’s actually enjoying it 😔 Or with good dirty talk!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 04:41 PM
–

Same tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 04:36 PM
–

This is the main reason for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 04:35 PM
–

Aesthetics, the cleanliness myth, idk? I don’t get it either to be honest with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 04:31 PM
–

True. But not everyone has to orgasm every time IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 04:30 PM
–

Eh, as long as my ‘needs’ are covered, the ‘wants’ are more flexible.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 04:29 PM
–

OOP says in one of her comments that the only thing she agrees with that the marriage counselor said was that she’s only attracted to something she’s in pursuit of. So now that she “caught” her husband (after pursuing him for over a year before they first started dating), and there is no more “chase”, she’s not attracted to him. I think it’s less that he treated her right and more that she’s probably some level of sociopath/narcissist. You can tell through her post that she’s super controlling -…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 02:30 PM
–

Haha I suppose we all have our burdens to bear. Quickies are always an option!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 01:12 PM
–

I disagree. I’m wildly attracted to my boyfriend but we probably wouldn’t have clicked if we met online. Dating apps just aren’t the best avenue for everyone, and who is on which apps is highly regionally dependent.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 11:33 AM
–

That’s a good idea! I think it’s what he’s used to? He thinks it looks better, is cleaner (myth), etc. The weirdest part is that for some reason his older brother isn’t circumcised…. Although a friend of mine recently had a sexual experience with a guy whose foreskin was too tight to the point that sex was actually painful for him and he couldn’t stay hard, and I can understand that in some cases there may be a medical basis for needing it done. But that’s not at all my decision to make lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 11:10 AM
–

Lol same but there is an orgasm threshold after which I’m basically out like a light when we’re done.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:57 AM
–

My boyfriend is circumcised and I’m trying to convince him not to do it to our possible future son/s, but he’s pretty staunchly for it. I guess there’s some level of “well it happened to me and I’m fine” at play with stuff like this?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:55 AM
–

Not the worst way to start the day
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:48 AM
–

If you’re in a monogamous, committed relationship, you do have an obligation to put good-faith effort into meeting the sexual needs of your partner. Shit like this is just cruel.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 10:47 AM
–

Jesus. I’m glad I don’t live wherever that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 02:28 AM
2

I get what you’re saying about sex/passion being a pretty good indicator of attraction, and I agree. If women who don’t sleep with you after the first make out session make you reconsider the relationship, or make you feel that they’re not as attracted to you as you’d like, then perhaps it works out best for both of you that this is the case. All I’ll say is that the last time I made out with a guy and didn’t fuck him (before my boyfriend), it was because I didn’t trust him. We were having a goo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 03:46 PM
3

The key is a good long winter coat IMO. And, as others have mentioned, layering! I like long-sleeved dresses that hit midi or longer, and taller boots. Socks over tights under the boots, and sometimes a thermal layer under the dress. Scarves can help with this too, and I also like the pullover-sweater-over-a-dress look if you can find the right pairing! Long cardigans are nice for this too. And doubling up on socks whenever possible! However, I also live somewhere where it can get that cold, and…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/23 01:05 PM
3

Charisma can do wonders. My guy friend who sleeps around the most… I wouldn’t consider him super conventionally attractive either (weak chin, dad bod, beer belly) but he’s got charisma like you wouldn’t believe and he’s very good at molding himself to whatever situation he’s in, which very much works in his favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 05:50 AM
1

I’d imagine that’s an older generation who picks Dirty Dancing? I’d be curious what the younger take is on that. Mine’s Legally Blonde.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 05:44 AM
3

Women can be horny but still think rationally that sex at that moment might not be a good idea. And it could be for any number of reasons. Maybe she wants to get to know you better before sex. Maybe she’s on her period. Maybe she didn’t shave, or has to get up early in the morning, or she isn’t wearing sex-ready underwear, or that Thai food you got for dinner just isn’t sitting well. There are myriad reasons why women might be into kissing you but not having sex with you at the moment. Kissing a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 05:25 AM
5

Time and place, honestly. Trying to make out while sitting on a park bench in the middle of the day is just awkward, no matter how you slice it. And most overt displays of PDA are pretty gauche, if we’re being honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 05:19 AM
1

Is there no room for a sweet, romantic kiss at the end of the night that leaves both parties wanting more, anymore? Not every first kiss needs to be a make out session. Honestly that would be a turnoff. A first kiss should be a bit tentative, slow, and sweet. The rest comes after.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 05:17 AM
–

I mean personally I believe more people fall between 1 and 5 on the Kinsey scale than will necessarily admit to it, so, maybe on some level.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:47 PM
–

A few of my friends do! Like sleeping in each others’ beds, cuddling, etc. But there is one girl in the group who’s very much not like that lol. Although she is best friends with the cuddliest one and still engages in it sometimes. I’m a hugger and will occasionally throw an arm around a friend’s shoulders or lean my head down on their shoulder but never for very long. One girl is big on cheek kisses. So that group is definitely more touchy in general. But like my other group of girl friends - w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 05:57 PM
–

Ice cream on a hot day sounds like a super cute date. She’s missing out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 05:47 PM
–

I definitely think it’s more of a subconscious thing than an overt thing like the woman you knew. As in having the biggest desire to procreate with the man with the “best genes” to give her future offspring a better shot at success. And height tends to be an attractive feature to women. Also lmao at her saying that’s not racist when it blatantly is. Being skeptical of that is entirely warranted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 05:36 PM
–

I’ve seen angry men post on Reddit about how they’re mad that their mom picked a short guy (their dad) to procreate with. So maybe the short women looking for tall guys are just trying to set their future sons up for success? I think as a people we’ve also gotten much taller over the years via natural selection though - you ever been in a really old building? It’s like stepping into a hobbit home.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:53 AM
6

What’s that old saying? Women get married hoping he’ll change, and men get married hoping she won’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:27 AM
–

Honestly picking up women is fucking difficult, I do empathize with that lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:15 AM
–

That would be nice, but unfortunately most men aren’t really interested in getting married young and building a life either.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:08 AM
–

The whole body count thing is way overblown IMO. People who like to have sex tend to pair up with other people who like to have sex, and they generally don’t care about how many other people the other person has had sex with. Those it matters for, it really matters for, but for basically everyone else, it’s not a big deal. The nature of PPD draws people with strong opinions on the topic, but this is not representative of western society as a whole. Also, anyone who really struggles with dating n…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 06:02 AM
–

I disagree. If it’s what you want, and you vet for that, I think it’s entirely possible. The fantasy is a lifelong relationship that’s effortless on both sides. Marriage for life takes work and you may not like each other every moment of every day. You may go through rough patches that last a while. But it doesn’t matter, because you continue to choose your partner and your relationship and they continue to choose that and you too, and the two of you work together to find solutions to the challe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 05:49 AM
–

Who is saying that “all the undesirably men should be sent to a monastery”?? Also schools benefit everyone, even those who don’t have kids… like the next generation still has to be educated to keep society functioning… or are you hoping for more of a Mad Max style retirement home lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 05:38 AM
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I agree but mostly because they also collapse a lot of intangibles into a very 2D picture of a person that doesn’t quite give an accurate look into who they are. I was instantly attracted to my boyfriend when we met but never would have swiped right on him; he had terrible photos and probably had something dumb in his bio lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 05:30 AM
1

RP stuff is more like a toolbox than a specific set of “do exactly this” rules. It can be applied in varying degrees to any situation depending on the desired outcome. It’s not just for submissive virgin girls. Sanchez likely keeps Bezos sexually satisfied, takes care of him in some way, respects/supports him publicly (United front), embraces her fun/feminine energy, and expresses her desires instead of nagging him. Those are all things that RPW would recommend, and it sounds like it’s working f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 05:50 PM
4

Generally for the first date I’d offer to split, but if he didn’t take me up on it then I would graciously accept. As others mentioned, I only insisted on splitting if I was sure it wasn’t going anywhere. For my boyfriend and I’s first date, he paid for the fancy dinner, and I offered to get a round of drinks after that! He comes from a wealthy family that worked hard to get there so he appreciated that I didn’t just assume he’d pay for everything. YMMV.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/23 12:29 PM
3

I know a few people with open marriages. If you want a particular lifestyle (sex with other people) then the person who’s slept with more people is more likely to be into it than the person who hasn’t. It really is just about finding someone who ‘fits’ you. You don’t like casual sex? Great! Find someone who also doesn’t. You do like casual sex? Great! Find someone who also does. It’s pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:57 PM
5

No, but if she says they’re stupid for doing so, there’s the inherent implication that the “smart” or “right” thing to do is not to have sex with other men. Which also implies that doing so is “wrong” as well as stupid. If everyone did what was “right” in her view, then men wouldn’t have sex with other men. So actually kinda yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:15 PM
13

My brother is literally the short geeky guy who watches anime all day and his gf is super cute! They absolutely bond over anime and video games, it’s really sweet. Also the type of women going for messed up or mentally ill men like you describe are messed up/mentally ill women. Why be upset that those people are taking themselves out of the pool of potential partners for stable people? Most stable people wouldn’t want to date someone like that anyway, so it’s a bit of a moot point. i.e., if you’…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:03 PM
2

Edit: meant to respond to the commenter above you. When that guy is actually nice, he can find a girl who shares his hobbies and life experience. Have seen this in action plenty of times honestly. Anyone can focus on the worst and the outliers, but they’re just that, outliers. Most of the population aren’t criminals or 6”+ basketball players or single mothers with multiple kids by multiple guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 02:03 PM
20

If he wants a big family, ask him what his plan is to support this. How will the two of you budget to make this happen? Edit: children are expensive. What is his plan? For you to work and him be a SAHP?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 05:06 AM
–

No, what’s that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 04:37 AM
1

My friend’s mom lost her house once the final litigation on the divorce was done. And for a majority of the time that they were in litigation, her mother was the one paying child support. Even though her father makes much more. Don’t marry sociopathic lawyers I guess? He’s has been divorced a few more times after that and has never had to pay alimony to any of them, despite making much more than they did. I did date a divorced dad who got fucked over twice. Unfortunately I think he was a target …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 07:42 PM
1

People have stopped getting married? Not in Canada. Wedding season is in full swing, baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 07:28 PM
–

at least, per German law What does this mean? And what kind of photography and fitness are we talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:38 PM
–

When a man quits his job to focus on a new business that doesn’t make money right away, someone has to pay the bills and buy food and take care of the kids (if applicable). We’re talking about regular small businesses here, not Microsoft. My boyfriend’s mom was almost a single mother for years while her husband built his business. And he could only build his business because she took care of the rest.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 01:40 PM
–

There are plenty of women who support their husbands/partners through starting a business. And anyone who knows anything about being an entrepreneur knows that rarely do you have positive cash flow right away.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:30 AM
–

Business loans exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:23 AM
–

Do you know any women personally who run small businesses?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 02:22 AM
3

Agreed with this. I was very into a guy who had very little experience, and I thought it was cute and that it would be fun to teach him some stuff. Until he continued to be a selfish lover who refused to try anything new. Then it was a conscious choice, and was no longer cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 03:57 PM
2

Being good at anything in life takes work. Sure, some of these pretty girls are on yachts and having their travel funded, but they’re usually paying a sexual price to do so. Would you happily submit to the sexual requests of an old gross man just to be on a nice boat? I wouldn’t. As well, anyone who is an “influencer” usually spends HOURS a day cultivating their social media presence, responding to fans and people wanting to partner for brand deals, thinking of new content, shooting/filming new …
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 03:54 AM
6

I’d imagine these self-respecting men are still capable of using google, no?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 03:25 AM
5

Some food for thought: if the two of you were to get married, she would be your family also. So if you’re not able to support him supporting her, then you’re probably right to break things off. His caring for his mother is (ostensibly) going to be for the rest of her life, so that’s something you need to be prepared to accept if you stay with him. My best friend’s MIL has a brain injury, and my friend’s husband cares for her quite a bit. She doesn’t need daily care, but she still spends at least…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 08:49 PM
3

I agree with pulling back and finding your own way occupy your time. Get him the hoodie but then get out of his hair – absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say! And based on what you’ve said, he may be feeling like meeting your attention/emotional needs are more of an obligation than a desire at this point. Our husbands cannot be everything to us, nor should they be. So see what your friends are up to, or your family. Vent about work stuff to a colleague or friend rather than him. Book y…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 05:45 PM
6

I love what you’ve written in this thread. Thank you for so eloquently describing this in your comments. The Wall is just… a fact of life. It’s neither the end of the world nor absolutely nothing, but it’s something that women must adjust to as we get older. All of us.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 03:01 PM
–

Agreed! Plus hockey players tend to eat a ton of carbs lol. I was using her as a stand-in for the “athletic but not in the gym all the time” body type that is fairly achievable for most women, although Amanda’s a bit on the thinner side of that. Because you’re right, different types of working out will achieve different results! And having a “relatively fit” body type doesn’t mean that one has to be in the gym all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 01:19 PM
5

Yeah I agree with others that it depends on context. If it’s explicitly sexual and comes out of nowhere, then he’s likely just looking for a hookup and testing your boundaries. If it’s more implicit/somewhat makes sense in the context of the conversation (i.e. you’re talking about getting to know each other and he says something about how he’d like to get to know all of you, winky face) then it could a yellow flag depending on your comfort level. If you’re interested but he’s pushing a bit more …
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 01:14 PM
2

We played on the same co-ed sports team ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 01:08 AM
2

I’m a bit curious what you would talk about related to those interests. Like would you talk about fashion shows, or clothes you just bought? Stores you want to visit? What you did in the gym yesterday, or a fitness influencer you like? PRs and fitness goals? Idk, as someone who’s been athletic and played sports all my life, at a certain point I need something else to talk about. Maybe the people you’re interested in who are your looksmatch and have similar lifestyle interests also want to talk a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 08:09 PM
1

What is realistic to expect depends on your personal wants and needs, and what you bring to the table. There is a book that used to be recommended often here (that is much better than it’s title) called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. I think you’d benefit quite a bit from reading this book, as the author does a good job of putting things in perspective and helping you to figure out your superficial wants/needs from your non-negotiables. Figuring out what y…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 07:57 PM
1

What is realistic to expect depends on your personal wants and needs, and what you bring to the table. There is a book that used to be recommended often here (that is much better than it’s title) called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb. I think you’d benefit quite a bit from reading this book, as the author does a good job of putting things in perspective and helping you to figure out your superficial wants/needs from your non-negotiables. Figuring out what y…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 07:57 PM
1

I mean I suppose it depends on which picture of Jensen Ackles Shirtless we’re talking about. The one I linked seems pretty attainable for most dudes; it’s not like he’s shredded or anything. Not the person you asked this of, but I would say a body like Amanda Kessel (gold bikini top) is also pretty attainable, or even her friend on the far left on the first pic.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 07:25 PM
2

I don’t know, I guess it depends on the woman…. My boyfriend has a bit of a beer belly but I still swoon over his strong arms, and he’s very functionally strong with some pretty crazy grip strength (perks of a blue-collar job). So when I think “a little bit of muscle” I think “strong enough to open the stuck thing or lift the heavy thing or pick me up if needed”. But YMMV 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 07:12 PM
1

Yeah, if you felt awkward and stiff you were likely projecting that, which I’m sure they picked up on. I would definitely encourage you to find those settings that would showcase you at your best, instead! For example, I really enjoy volunteering, and have had a couple guys approach me after a volunteering event to ask me out. And one of these was when I was at my highest weight! But I’m sure it was because I was in my element: helping people, enjoying myself and smiling, and making sure others …
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 02:30 PM
1

You mention being out and about, and to be honest, I rarely if ever got approached in those scenarios. I think that’s fairly true across the board. But out at a bar or party atmosphere with friends, I had no issue. Do you find that this happens to you even in those environments? Daily life is just not super conducive to the cold approach. Try finding opportunities that put you in contact with or in the vicinity of men you might be interested in, and you might have better luck. I met my boyfriend…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 02:55 PM
1

One of the more recent romances that I’ve watched I think was called Holidate. Where the girl and the guy agree to go to holiday things together as a pretend couple so they don’t have to be alone, suffer questions from family, etc. Of course they fall in love and end up being together a conflict where one of them tries to date someone else I think? Anyway there was nothing to do about money whatsoever in this one lol. Just two twentysomethings figuring their shit out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/23 08:21 PM
3

That’s unfortunate, I’m sorry you’ve had those experiences :( If things are going in a way that you didn’t expect and don’t want, or a man is physically pushing you into a sex act, you absolutely have to advocate for yourself and speak up. It’s okay to pull back and stop things if you’re unhappy with the direction things are going. You don’t have to go along with what a man wants just because he wants you to. It’s not “masculine” to tell them you’re uncomfortable, or no, actually, that’s not wha…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 02:14 AM
3

The people who do reels or TikTok’s regarding “TRP” content (because IMO it’s not true RP stuff most of the time) are playing the social media game. What gets the most engagement? Controversial statements, things that make people feel angry or sad, divisive questions, etc. Not necessarily helpful/actionable content. I promise you that having had 2 relationships at 23 does not make you “not high value”. And despite your fears, you do have some time. Nun mode would probably help you reset your min…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 11:52 PM
7

You’re dealing with a breakup, and understandably your emotions are a bit muddled. You pretty clearly illustrated why he was not a great partner, and your reasons for breaking up are valid, so your feelings of wanting to return are probably from that fear of being alone/the wall that you mentioned, as well as a fear of the unknown. It also might be some hurt from feeling like he’s having an easier time post-breakup than you are. And you’re allowed to feel what you feel, but read back what you wr…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 09:49 PM
3

If you try to keep their hands in appropriate places, or ask them to wait when they’re moving too fast, then how do you go from that to having sex with them? You can always leave a situation if it’s progressing farther than you’d like.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 07:52 PM
3

You’ve been letting your boundaries cave too early to know if that’s really true or not. Look, I’ve had hookups that turned into relationships, and relationships where we didn’t have sex until a few dates in, and I’ve never had trouble with getting men to commit when that’s also what I wanted. If you genuinely want commitment, then you have to be vetting. If they push your boundaries and want to have sex before you’re comfortable, that is good vetting information. Now what will you choose to do …
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 07:47 PM
6

If you’ve already told him that you wish you two would talk more, it sounds like he sees the calls as an obligation rather than something he wants to do simply for wanting to speak with you. But if you could provide additional context, that would be helpful for giving advice. How many times a day do the two of you talk on the phone? And how is your disposition on the calls? Is he warmer and less rushed when you see him in person? Some men just aren’t big on texting or calling (like my boyfriend)…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 07:41 PM
1

I mean we also have to be competent and skillful to be presentable and have value? What do you think good grooming is, an accident?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 02:09 AM
–

Agreed, it’s nice having a ‘neutral’ account to post about local/irl stuff tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 07:15 PM
1

Mm. Do you consider 6.5/7 to be low? If so, then yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 06:53 PM
2

I don’t think that approaching it as a joke works for men who actually want a commitment. On date 1 (or 2, depending on how you look at it) I told my boyfriend straight up that I was looking to get married and have kids, and if that wasn’t on the table for him, then we should just part now. He took that seriously. And while we were friends before we were dating, he made an offhand joke about not wanting kids. This actually made me not want to date him, and it was only after a friend of his menti…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 05:44 PM
1

there has to be a way that women have loved but protected themselves from loving so hard they break themselves if things don’t work out. What you’re describing above is essentially a secure attachment style. Attachment theory is worth looking into. It might help you understand yourself better to read through the different styles and see what pieces fit, keeping in mind that like everything, these traits exist on a scale. And it’s important to be really, truly honest with yourself as you reflect …
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 05:20 PM
1

Here’s a direct link to the study without the additional editorial bits: https://academic.oup.com/endo/article/161/2/bqz044/5698148
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 03:18 AM
4

Here’s the thing - everything great in life requires some level of risk. And if you want a great love, you’re going to have to open your heart to that to receive it. But if you never break down your walls, eventually men will begin to wonder if what’s on the other side is really worth the climb. A fear of heartbreak and loss is natural, especially after a breakup. It also sounds like you’ve been through a lot recently!! And as a result, you’re coming at this from a place of fear/scarcity rather …
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 02:59 AM
10

Do we need makeup to exist? No. Do we need makeup to be taken seriously, and not be passed up for job opportunities? Unfortunately, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 07:39 PM
4

What do you consider boring?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 07:28 PM
1

I was making the distinction between a starfish and a freak, not only honing in on the blowjob part. Also; without actually being able to read the article, it’s hard to say what the data show beyond a causal link. Are the women with more attractive partners also more attractive themselves? If so, they’re both more likely to have more sexual experience and therefore understand their bodies and how to orgasm better. Like yeah you can point to an abstract but that doesn’t say why it’s the case, whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 06:24 PM
2

You genuinely think that sex with a 10/10 starfish is better than with a 6/10 who could suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:48 PM
4

You seem to know a lot about the inner workings of an internet stranger you don’t even know.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:45 PM
1

Aw good I’m glad I could help!!
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/23 08:03 PM
4

No, I have never shared my location in any of my relationships. It’s unnecessary; we trust each other to be truthful about our plans. Although… I did once tell my boyfriend (before we were dating) that I was going for a run but unexpectedly realized that the route I’d planned didn’t have streetlights (true) and to call the cops if he didn’t hear from me in a while…. So I can see how this might have its place in a flirty, temporary, or utilitarian context. But as an ongoing/permanent thing, absol…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 05:26 PM
2

Hi, I’m not sure if this might be helpful to you, but Captain Awkward’s blog has been super helpful to me in learning how to navigate and negotiate boundaries and healthy relationships in my life. And how to use tools like grey rocking or being polite but firm on certain subjects. The post I linked has a number of posts related to family and dealing with difficult family members or ones who might have particular expectations of your behavior, but even if none of those “fit” exactly, there may be…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/23 03:48 PM
-1

Ugly Girls Don’t Exist 🤷🏼‍♀️ Edit: what I mean is that the only truly “ugly” girls are the ones who don’t put any effort in. Whether that’s with their physical appearance or personality. Husbands don’t fall from the sky.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:32 PM
1

More like attractiveness. Personality and vibe can absolutely up someone’s attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:26 PM
4

I agree with the other commenter that you have to start with self-reflection. Rarely can any decision or event in life be reduced to only one reason why, so it’s highly likely that there was more that contributed to your breakup than just your looks. Really take the time to think through what happened. Journaling can help with this, and can help to sort out your feelings about it (and everything else) as well. Take your time with this piece - it is a process. I’d also recommend spending some tim…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 06:47 PM
7

I would be careful about this. If your boyfriend’s daughter feels that you’re “ratting her out” it’s not going to improve the relationship. Talk to him that day, but don’t text or call him immediately after every issue unless it’s serious, as it could hurt more than help.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 04:41 PM
4

Where is her father while she is yelling at you over being in the kitchen?
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/23 04:36 PM
7

since I am using my energy on “myself” rather than “him/our relationship”. What do you mean by this? I have a feeling that this is closer to the root of the issue than the pay change.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/23 06:50 PM
4

My favourite Canadian version is “Robert’s your mother’s brother”!
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/23 11:48 AM
4

Yeah statistically the higher education level of the parents, the lower number of children they have. The “go to college, get a job, get married, have a couple kids” thing is a stereotype for a reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 11:33 AM
2

he said he would happily pay every time if the woman earned less than me but because of my career he sees us as equals and expects me to pay because I have the capacity to pay How did this conversation come up, and in what context did he say this? Like did you straight up ask him why he wants you to pay? I feel like this context is necessary. It’s not unreasonable for a man to want his partner to pay sometimes. It shows some relationship green flags from you as others have pointed out! At the sa…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/23 08:00 PM
2

That’s so interesting to hear as I have a friend in his early 30s, but basically everything else is the same, except he did do a college stint. He’s never had a problem with the ladies; in fact he just finally settled down with a girlfriend after playing the field for a number of years.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 02:16 AM
9

Average Joe the plumber likely spends more time at the bar with friends than average Joe the coder.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 02:12 AM
8

In my experience, military personnel make… a lot of concessions when it comes to romantic partners. Not everyone is willing to accept the military lifestyle, unfortunately. Edit: military personnel can also be a target for a certain type of woman, which doesn’t help.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 02:09 AM
13

I agree with this. Men are individuals as well - they have their own things they’re dealing with. To hold our men to the unrealistic standard that they only love us if they do anything and everything for us, and never hesitate or struggle, is just that - unrealistic. I do think OP’s post has some merit - a good partner should make you feel heard, validated, and considered. But the dichotomy of “if you’re not his dream girl you’re a placeholder” just isn’t indicative of the nuance of real relatio…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/23 08:24 PM
2

Midi dresses are my favorite for work and everything else. Same with midi skirts with a tank top and a cardigan. Accessories can change the vibe also - shoes, jackets/cardigans, jewelry, etc. You can also do shorter casual dresses - the fact that it’s a dress will make it a nicer option by default. I generally like flowy shorts and skirts. You can pair those with a simple t-shirt and it still looks like you put in some effort. I don’t have many flowy pants but this works for them too. Mixing nic…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/23 07:47 PM
1

I’m talking more about smaller venues, especially ones downtown or in walkable areas. People do congregate outside after! But I have also been one of the people congregating outside a stadium show lol, so it does happen. Although I would imagine it would be somewhat influenced by the type of music?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 07:28 PM
1

Unless you’re showing up immediately before the first band plays, there is time where you’re in the venue with everyone else before they start. Once people leave they tend to congregate outside for a bit, have a smoke, etc. And there are always other people in the drink and bathroom lines to chat with :)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 07:23 PM
4

Before and after and in between bands! You already have something to talk about that you both enjoy, so it’s an easy in to start a conversation. Doesn’t mean it’ll go past small talk, but there’s a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 09:26 PM
–

If it’s a general question asked to the whole group, then no.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 08:45 PM
3

Re: the concerts piece… you’ve never talked to someone while at a concert?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 07:52 PM
1

My one single girlfriend is on dating apps. 3 of my girlfriends (including one who is married) met their partners on a dating app. Granted, most of them used it a few years ago, but women are still using them. I was on a few before dating my boyfriend. But beyond that, they’re either dating someone they knew before, or they met through friends, or they met at work. I met my boyfriend on a co-ed sports team. Another guy friend is dating a server at a bar he goes to a lot. I also once scored a dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/23 07:48 PM
4

Mm to a degree. A lot of things he lists are very “no duh” but anyone who says anything to someone they’re interested in to imply that they’re just trying to get sex clearly lacks tact.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:52 PM
7

functional, competent, ambitious, non-needy and developing courage and good leadership skills We can argue about cause but everything you’ve listed is what parent are supposed to teach their child to be. This is what adults should be, or should aspire to. In the absence of parents or other mentors, then if they learn it elsewhere that’s not that bad really, as long as what you’ve listed above is truly the overall goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:49 PM
8

Not all women have the same sexual strategy. Some women’s strategy is “save sex for marriage”, and that might ick some men and not others. Same with “sleep on the third date” or “wait three months” or “sleep with him right away because I have specific sexual tastes and I want to know if he fits them before we continue.” In all those cases some men would be icked and some would not. Also - if most people were honest about their sexual strategy (case in point, OP above) then it could turn off some…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:41 PM
4

But that’s all just framing no? It totally makes sense to women to do things to better yourself and be more attractive. Doing it “just to get sex” is poorly selling yourself. Guys who say it that way are just shitty salesmen. And is it really “just to get sex” if a man is likely interested in all the other benefits (societal, reputation, etc.) as well? Again, just seems like a framing/perspective issue, and collapsing it to “just wanting sex” seems like a very narrow view of it. For me, this is …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:34 PM
8

Yeah but that just sounds like… playing the game of life well. Doing what you can to be attractive and charming is a pretty “no duh” thing. Same with not sharing controversial opinions early on. I think this is less about “Red Pill men” and more about socially/emotionally intelligent people being good at getting people to be interested in them lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:10 PM
6

Agree with this! Honestly, I’d much rather a guy who admits that his desire to work out is at least partially motivated by wanting to be attractive to the opposite sex, rather than trying to act like it isn’t a factor at all. The latter just comes across as super disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 10:03 PM
15

And your 100% stat comes from…? Everyone tailors their message to their audience, that’s just being socially/emotionally intelligent. You wouldn’t say the same thing in the same way to your boss as you would your boys as you would a girl you’re interested in. Everyone does it (or should) - I would say it’s only ‘wrong’ when it gets into hypocritical territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 09:58 PM
8

I love this. Frankly, I agree. He is saying these things to see how OP reacts. He is trying to see: can he get away with this? Agree and amplify is a great idea. Not necessarily to devolve into cuckquean vibes since OP is clearly not into it, but from the perspective of “yes husband, you’re so attractive/awesome/etc. that of course women would want to sleep with you. Aren’t I so lucky that I get to have you?” Then to be honest I would probably then make it a bit more personal. “If we are having …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/23 07:40 PM
2

If there’s nothing wrong right now, why not give it some more time and see? You’re young, and not everything has to be an immediate yes - why not see how things go when you move to long distance? Examine how you feel for him during this period. Do you miss him, or are you okay with not talking to him for a few days? This will help you sort out how you’re feeling about him.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/23 09:57 PM
1

I drafted this when I first saw this post, but totally forgot to post it. So I know I’m a bit late, but still wanted to share! I think a lot of it is presentation/self-care, inner work, and how you carry yourself. Everyone ages, but as you do, ideally you also gain a presence and wisdom that comes with time and experience. What I’ve noticed about the older women I admire most is their authenticity to their self. They’re not trying to be 20 or 25 anymore, and they don’t dress or carry themselves …
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/23 09:29 PM
3

There’s a married red pill sub I believe. Similar to women’s RP, I view it more as a toolset to achieve one’s desire outcome. Some men use it to sleep with as many women as they can, but others use it to find a marriageable woman. Same with RPW - not all women here are looking to get married, and some might prefer more equal relationships, but the tools and strategies here can help women in a number of contexts regardless.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/23 09:10 PM
9

Correlation ≠ causation. The people you’re pointing to (hot college girls, only fans, Bhad Bhabie, etc.) are also more likely to party more, to drink and do drugs, stay up late, wear heavy makeup, and a whole host of other things that are not as good for aging. Meanwhile the ones who aren’t as attractive or who aren’t as interested in partying/hooking up - statistically they’re less likely to drink and do drugs, stay up late, take etc. It’s fine to have your pet theory, but you can’t ignore the …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/23 11:55 AM
3

It sounds like you’re setting up a covert contract. “If I do X for him, he will do Y for me.” By doing the things you’re doing, you’re expecting him to put in a specific type of effort that would appear equal to you. What if you just stopped doing some of the things that are making you feel like you’re going out of your way? Suggest he comes to your place. Stop baking him something every single time you see him. Wait for him to text first. Also decide what matters most to you. My boyfriend is no…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/23 08:41 PM
2

What I tell all soon-to-be and recent grads is this: you never know which opportunities will come your way, so don’t be afraid to say “yes” to something that you may not have considered before. I fell into a field I didn’t even know existed, and now I make great money and have a minor bit of national recognition for my work. All because I was like “hey this sounds different, let’s try this” and then when someone asked me to participate in something further, I said “yes.” What sort of Liberal Art…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/23 04:42 PM
6

We need some more info from OP as to the general dynamic of their relationship that leads her to feel like he won’t keep his promise, but it’s not unrealistic to be worried about a marriage timeline that he will no longer discuss after seven years.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 10:11 PM
2

The idea of a guy not wanting to be with a girl only because he initiated sex with her and she agreed makes me think of the quote “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members” And in my experience, that is rarely the reason why he is not interested, unless the sex was so bad that that is the reason he’s no longer interested lol. Men generally know when they meet you if they want to just sleep with you or if they can see more happening. I’ve turned down first- or…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/23 11:17 AM
3

I also collect hobbies lol. I’ve always been active in sports, but since 2020 have picked up a number of crafty-type hobbies like crochet, cross-stitch, embroidery, knitting, and sewing. I also enjoy baking and cooking, always trying to learn more recipes! We are currently training our dog which has evolved into a sort of hobby, and I’m aiming to at least double my number of books read last year, this year. I really love my library app for getting access to great e-books and audiobooks! I had a …
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/23 07:28 PM
2

I have ADHD and can definitely relate lol. Daily routines are hard!! For me, personally, meds did help a lot. But on days I don’t take them, or before I did, I found a few things that helped as well: Asking myself: what do I need to do right now? And then doing it. Maybe the answer is put the dishes away, or do laundry, or get in the shower, or even just go to sleep lol. But committing to doing the thing once I’ve identified it needs to be done. Putting together a to do list and then checking th…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/23 07:15 PM
3

This is a pretty personal thing as all people are different, and some of the things my friends love about their husbands, I wouldn’t be able to stand lol. But speaking about some of the broader things that made me lose attraction for men I was attracted enough to date, there are a few things. Misaligned life goals (wanting vs not wanting kids/marriage, etc.) or core values Not being able to trust his judgement. This is a big one, but essentially if I was worried about if he couldn’t handle himse…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/23 11:24 AM
6

Unless your colleagues mentioned your tinder profile specifically, I doubt they actually knew you had one. But even if they did - sometimes, people are going to laugh at something you do or say. And that’s okay! It’s not the end of the world. And it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is bad or wrong or worthy of being made fun of. You have to have confidence in what you’re doing. You want to find a partner, yes? So why does it matter that Bob in accounting thinks Tinder is XYZ? You’re not tryin…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/23 07:56 PM
2

I agree with u/free_breakfast_ - it’s really dependent on the two people within the relationship and their independent threshold levels. What works for the two of them, as individuals? The dominance of the man and the submission of the woman should complement each other and work together for the best chance of success. It should be enough that she feels safe and cared for, but not overly controlled (unless she’s into that). And if you’re talking about a sexual dominant, that’s even more nuanced …
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/23 10:28 AM
4

So I know this might be a bit hard with everything going on, but can you try and find ways to add lightness and joy back into your lives? Or as Laura Doyle calls it, being the “Goddess of Fun and Light”? Essentially - just try and have fun! For you, that might look like taking time for self-care, focusing on things that make you happy, and “refilling your cup” so you have more patience for him. And for the both of you, it might look like putting music on and asking him to dance in the kitchen, o…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/23 08:58 PM
1

Honestly, before we lived together my boyfriend was very similar. We’re also similar in age to you two - 28 and 32, also dating 1.5 years. He’s just not a big texter or caller, and if we weren’t spending in-person time together, we didn’t talk much other than good morning and a bit of chatting after work. Especially if I was tired, sick, etc. Is it possible that your man is the same? And do you feel like you’re not receiving emotional support when you’re physically together, or just when you’re …
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/23 07:39 PM
1

How have you been communicating it so far?
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/23 07:31 PM
2

Estheticians and plastic surgeons all have a vested interest ($$$) in making you feel like you need to have procedures, so of course they’re going to tell you all your imperfections as a way to get you to pay for their services. They are not as objective as you think. And based on your mom’s phrasing (“if it helps”) it sounds like she was trying to offer you a solution/pathway to feeling better about it, not necessarily telling you that this is as much of a problem as you think it is. I also too…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/23 09:23 PM
14

This is gonna sound crazy, but re: your nasolabial folds/marionette lines… do you sleep on your side? If so, it could be exacerbating them because your face gets smushed essentially for hours every night that way. Try sleeping on your back! It’s an adjustment, but it made a difference for me. And side note: I also met my boyfriend at 27. Your attitude is really the biggest thing here. Stop thinking about the bigger picture (getting married or not getting married, aging, what you feel you’ve miss…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/23 09:23 PM
14

Considering the two of you haven’t been together for years, he did nothing wrong by exploring sexually with others. You’re allowed to feel how you feel about it, but expecting him to spend years pining after you and staying celibate just because you did just isn’t realistic. Yes, “men are men” - they have different views on sex than women do, generally. And you don’t know if he had sex in a relationship or not - if he was with someone else he loved during this time, would that be better or worse…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/23 03:54 PM
3

Ah, sorry if I wasn’t clear - I was agreeing with your point over the commenter you responded to, that those traits occurring together are more common than in 1% of the population! You’re absolutely right that odds in a HCOL city are much higher than in a small city in Midwest, for example. Particular industry hubs attract particular types of men more than other places. I’ve seen the difference even between mid-sized and big cities. ETA: it wasn’t about the specific numbers for me either, more u…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/23 05:53 AM
1

That’s been my experience as well. I actually read something recently that was half-joking about the new “trophy wife” being the woman with the highest level of career/education that a man could get to become a SAHM. Not sure how true it is, but I can certainly see how it would be a status symbol/cultural signifier for particular groups of professional men.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/23 05:48 AM
6

Yeah I believe I saw somewhere that the math wasn’t quite mathing for the results that thing puts out…. Can’t remember exactly (and I’m not a math whiz) but I believe for each new ´criteria´ it applies the percentage to the previous group. So say you start with 42% of the population in height, it will then only take 13% of that number for income rather than from the overall population numbers, which doesn’t account for the fact that the populations might overlap. Meaning if even, say, 7% of thos…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/23 05:34 AM
5

Agreed on the education thing. In many UC/UMC circles, a degree is a baseline threshold.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/23 05:19 AM
2

Honestly, the secret to a lot of friendships is proximity and duration of time. Spend enough time with someone, and becoming friends with them becomes easier as you get to know them. I would continue to involve yourself with your church and hobbies and just keep putting yourself out there. Try and find people you’ve spoken with before, and have another conversation with them. Aim to remember things they’ve mentioned and ask about them later. And imo, join a sport! I met my boyfriend playing a co…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/23 07:15 PM
1

Nah, it’s all pretty simple. Honestly, I’ve found that adding more toys/experience doesn’t necessarily always help.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/23 05:33 AM
0

Nah, in my group I do mean average dudes (beer bellies, etc.) who work in the trades and/or service industry. And in my brother’s group they’re skinny and/or average to overweight Asian dudes who mostly just play video games. A few are handsome, but definitely not all. Seems pretty average to me, but who knows.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:21 PM
2

I’m not saying it isn’t, I’m just sharing my experience and my opinion based on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 05:19 PM
6

Beauty absolutely allows you to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events. Aka enforce your will. Statistically, beautiful people have better outcomes in life. That’s pretty powerful. Power isn’t simply a job, or a status, or a physical outcome. It is also in the softer skills that allow people to influence the world around them. Like intelligence. That is power, because one can use that to direct/influence things and people as well. Same with de-escalation, or social sk…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 04:13 AM
10

You don’t think social capital and social power are powerful? Models capitalize on their age, grace, beauty, etc. to make money and gain entree into groups they might not otherwise be able to, were it not for the power they have by virtue of leveraging their beauty. Their beauty, youth, grace all open doors for them and provide more opportunities and favorable outcomes. Leveraging one’s strength or talent for opportunities and favorable outcomes (i.e. utilizing their power) is the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 04:00 AM
9

I don’t know… residents and med students aren’t exactly known for having lots of free time to date lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:55 AM
6

Nah, whatever gets their goat really. I think it’s dumb if they get into IRL relationships if virtual/parasocial relationships are all they really want to spend their time on, but that’s mostly in a “why?” kinda way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:38 AM
2

If you can’t understand that a response is not the same as what it is responding to, then it’s clear that you’re not interested in an actual discussion. You’re willfully misunderstanding the point of the commenter you replied to, as well as mine. Have a good night.
/r/AntiFeminists01/02/23 03:33 AM
14

Every average guy I know who is social and without major issues (I.e. severe alcoholism) is in a relationship. And most women I know don’t want NSA sex, they also want a relationship. No, I don’t think dating will become antiquated. We’re a social species, people are always going to want to fuck people they have an emotional attachment with. It’s been that way since forever and will continue to be so.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:29 AM
8

Power can apply to everyone though. Beauty, age, grace, etc. all carry social power for women. Fitness and knowing how to keep your body in shape is power. Intelligence is power. Charm is power. Experience and skill are power. Soft skills like de-escalation and being able to encourage and support others are power. Anything can be power if you can use it right. And we all want someone whose power complements our own, in whatever dynamic we prefer. No one wants a dogfight for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/23 03:23 AM
3

The comment you replied to isn’t saying that. The OP is. Maybe you should have responded to OP instead?
/r/AntiFeminists01/02/23 03:15 AM
2

You really jumped for the worst reading of that comment. That’s not what he was saying. Anyone can be as picky as they want. If the result of them being picky is them not finding someone who meets their standards, then they don’t find someone. But they still have the right to be as picky as they want. That’s all.
/r/AntiFeminists01/02/23 03:10 AM
1

100k isn’t even that much these days. Having a SAHM and breadwinner scenario is just not feasible for most, so from the jump most women have to have a job to even live, unless they still live with their parents. It’s a luxury to have a partner not work these days, and while I would love to stay at home with our eventual children…. Life is expensive. My bf and I talked about it fairly early on, and while it would be doable for us, the reduction in what we would be able to do (activities, travel, …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 04:15 AM
2

Don’t impregnate women who don’t work then…?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 08:30 PM
1

I’ve been on the internet for far too long. And spent too much time on 4chan as an edgy teenager. So I’d seen “uncle” related content for a while, or whatever it’s approximation was in the mid-2000s. But it wasn’t until the past few years that I bumped into the women’s side of RP. I wanted to up my girl game and was looking for content to support my relationship at the time. I enjoyed the fact that the advice on the women’s forums encouraged women to take personal accountability, and gave strate…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 08:23 PM
0

The manipulation is definitely icky. I agree that that is the problem with shit tests. In my experience, those who shit test are low on emotional maturity and communication skills. What I don’t agree with is that simply raising an issue to see how someone reacts, is a shit test. To use your examples, what I’m saying would be to simply ask your partner about their sexual history, not manipulate them into thinking you think something you don’t. To use your second example, it would be more like see…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 08:01 PM
5

Healthy couples who do function as teams are able to renegotiate boundaries and compromise and shift as life and their relationship evolves. If your partner isn’t willing to compromise or shift things, then them saying “we are a team” as a way to shut that down isn’t the issue, their unwillingness to compromise is. My partner and I are a team. Which is exactly why I am willing to pick up the slack (as I do) when he works late/is tired or is sick, or he’s willing to pick up the slack (as he does)…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 04:46 PM
12

Is it really a bad thing to see how someone reacts to specific things while in the vetting process? I’m not talking about “fucking with someone else’s feelings for your own amusement” but more like, raising a polarizing topic to see if you’re both on the same side kinda thing. Technically it’s calculated and deliberate, but wanting to know if you align on certain things isn’t wrong. I wholeheartedly agree that setting anyone up for failure or providing unclear expectations for a “test” where the…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/23 04:32 PM
6

It seems like a lot of commenters have already given you some great advice! The one thing that I would add is, when you have time, look into volunteering. Giving back to a cause you care about is also something you can be proud of, along with what you’re doing to raise your family. It’s also a great way to boost self-esteem, mood, and feel accomplished. And you can even tie it in to your past work experience as I see you’ve worked for a nonprofit before. It can be as little as a few hours a mont…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/23 07:33 PM
2

It’s clear you’re just here to argue and insult rather than actually discuss this, so I hope you have a great day.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 08:25 PM
2

You’re clearly inclining that the majority of the time the man should be the leader of the relationship and the woman should submit to his authority so as not to burden him; And the only times the woman should be a leader is when she’s being a soft-dominant - ONLY when correcting his behavior/questioning his leadership and abilities when it gets bad enough (traditional relationship). It seems there’s a misunderstanding here, as that’s not what I’m saying. The analogy I like best is Captain and F…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 07:46 PM
2

Taking an active role in the relationship does not necessarily mean being the leader. And it does not mean that whoever is not the leader is a passive participant. Neither role is lesser, they just function a bit differently. Respecting your partner and allowing them to lead (as many women on this sub desire) is not inherently toxic, either. Of course women should be able to stand on their own, are deserving of respect, and should take charge in the areas they excel in - I agree! That’s not in o…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 06:37 PM
3

Absolutely. I see this all the time in the Marriage sub, which is so frustrating. No, passive aggressively dropping hints or being bitchy when he does the thing he forgot you didn’t want him to, rather than actually communicating with him like an adult, is not the way to go. He can’t read your mind; speak up. And I agree that there’s nothing wrong with helpful reminders! My bf and I both have ADHD - we’re more grateful for a reminder than we are ever annoyed by them. It helps both of us to stay …
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 06:12 PM
3

I think you hit the nail on the head with your comments about your differing backgrounds. If your friend never had someone she could depend on in the way you depend on your husband, then of course she wouldn’t be able to understand it. Meanwhile you had the template with your parents, so it’s more normal for you. That seems to be a lot of what it comes down to. A drive for independence is a reaction to their lived experience, and is a way to try and protect themself from things that can go wrong…
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 06:01 PM
3

It’s not so black and white. There can be so many different reasons for not being up for sex. And lack of attraction is only one of them. Also, not everyone is great at communication - maybe she’s not telling him the real reason because she’s afraid of his reaction, or it’s 11pm and they have to be up early and she’s tired, or a number of other things. And rather than assuming her motivations like you’re doing……… the husband can just talk to her to figure it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 08:49 PM
8

That’s… not what a Madonna-Whore complex is. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna–whore_complex
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 08:43 PM
1

Maybe the two of you might benefit from a sexy card game or perhaps an “adventure” book? I like things like this because they give you an external framework, which gets rid of some of the embarrassment of being the one to bring something up! Even if some of the things are not to your taste, it will give the two of you a chance to talk about it, and build intimacy. You can also get card games that aren’t all about sex or sexy dice depending on your comfort level. There are also apps out there wit…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 09:35 PM
3

It looks like you got some good advice on the camping stuff, but re: the hiking - when is this trip? I would recommend you do a bit of training in the lead up to the hike as it could help you have more stamina when you go. Even a few days could make a difference. You could do things like walking 5k each or every other night, doing some cardio at the gym, and exercises to strengthen your legs like squats, wall sits, lunges, etc. Depending on when the trip is, could your husband take you on one or…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 06:16 PM
1

Advising someone to cheat is never good advice. Frankly, that’s pretty gross.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 04:13 PM
1

Hi, just jumping in with something you may or may not find useful/relevant. My boyfriend is very much an “acts of service” guy, and that’s how he shows his love for me. Part of that is through the hours he works. However, he’s expressed more than once how appreciative he is of my appreciation for all that he does. It’s not necessarily compliments, but recognition of the work he does that gets to his heart. So perhaps you can try diffusing by giving him a bit of recognition/appreciation for his w…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/23 04:07 PM
2

There is no amount of “good on paper” or “want to like him” that will make up for genuine desire. And genuine desire does not come from just looks, but who the person is. If I had to create the “ideal man” in a lab, would he look just like my partner? Not necessarily, but I still want to climb all over him when I see him. It’s about him specifically. And I have dated men who were closer to that “ideal” who didn’t make me feel a drop of what he does. All this to say - this is something you should…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/23 03:11 PM
9

Think through this, and be honest with yourself. When you think about spending the next 60 or so years with this man, does that make you happy? Do you think he would be a good father to your children? Is he the kind of man you’d want your daughter to be with? I found the love of my life at 28. Others find their perfect match at 26, or 32, or 35+ even. Your life isn’t over. So think about what you’d like to do with the rest of it. And make the choice that’s best for you.
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/23 02:47 PM
2

This is a great idea, thank you! I’ll definitely look into pre-marital questions, to help both of us feel more secure. I took a quick skim of one list and we’ve talked about most things, but there are a few gems I can pull out! We’ve lived together for about four months and things have been pretty smooth sailing, but we’ll be traveling together later this year, so that should be a good learning experience! Thanks again.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/23 06:27 PM
5

Sometimes sex can feel like a lot of effort, and if he’s short on energy, it might be that he just doesn’t have the bandwidth right now. As others said, focus on what you can do to support him right now. That will help! And honestly, when my boyfriend is stressed, he really appreciates spontaneous blowjobs haha. Marriage will have periods of time without sex also, so think of this as practice. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/23 09:46 AM
3

I really appreciate you sharing this, thank you. I’ve been thinking about your comment a lot. You raise a good point that we have to be ready to tackle things bigger than what we’re dealing with now, and to continue to choose our commitment to each other every day. I love that you and your partner have that. And I love the advice from your grandmother as well! I think the respect is really key too…. There are some lines you can’t un-cross. So if you can be respectful of each other even in confli…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/23 04:40 PM
1

Lol it’s definitely gotten tense at times, but seeing the results have been so worth it. Thank you!!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 07:25 PM
4

Great point. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 07:22 PM
5

This is so sweet, I’m happy for you two! I agree with your last sentence - I don’t want to fight with him. I just want to focus on how we can deal with the problem and make it better.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 07:19 PM
4

Great questions! We do live together and we’re in the process of training his dog, which has probably been the most challenging thing we’ve dealt with so far lol. It’s been a bit of a struggle honestly, but we’ve already seen a ton of improvement. And when it comes to things like housework, saving money, dealing with family, when he has a ton of stress at work, etc. it’s been pretty smooth sailing so far. I do feel pretty confident about our ability to get things done and figure things out toget…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 07:17 PM
3

Yep, sounds like us lol. That’s a good point. Glad to hear from someone in a similar position - and congrats on your upcoming nuptials!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 05:28 PM
4

Generally we’re pretty upfront about our needs, but I think that’s a fair point about the avoidance. Definitely something I’ll keep an eye on, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/23 05:25 PM
2

I know you’re an introvert, but do you like any sports? I met my boyfriend in a co-ed league, and it also gave us the chance to get to know each other as people before we started dating which was nice!
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/22 05:02 PM
4

If my partner wants to hook up with others, we either do it together (with a two yes, one no rule) or not at all. It’s great that you have a fetish for this specific thing and find it hot, so this dynamic works for you. But it would not for many women, me included.
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/22 05:38 PM
1

I’d say this depends. I also have a pretty high count, maybe higher than yours, and a fair chunk of that was in a relationship where my ex and I “played” with others. When I was dating, I did disclose that relationship because it was out of the ordinary, and also because I wanted to make sure that my future husband and I would be on the same page in terms of sexual openness. My now boyfriend had zero issue with it. But beyond that, it’s never needed to be discussed. So maybe have a conversation …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/22 05:15 AM
1

I have been asked before when I was in my late teens/early 20s, usually in casual date situations by guys I wasn’t interested in, and only once by a guy I was dating in my later 20s. In that case, it was clear he was asking because he didn’t have much experience himself. I have some things I’m upfront about pretty early on (one relationship in particular that was a bit out of the ordinary) but after I mention it, the topic doesn’t get brought up again. After I hit like… 24, it just never really …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/22 05:02 AM
1

One thing you can do, right now, is to start praising his decision making when he does take the lead. If he had anxiety around it, spend some time building him up about that specific thing! This will hopefully help him feel more confident making decisions, which will help him feel more confident making other decisions… etc. Also one thing I try to really take to heart (although I’m not perfect at it) is the idea that not everything needs to be done my way. If he does something, and it’s not done…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/22 07:53 PM
9

Sex is a beautiful thing between two partners who can share their bodies on the most intimate level. Between loving, monogamous partners, it is the ultimate expression of romantic love, because it is something you share only with your partner. To say that “women don’t want sex”, is, I think, harmfully inaccurate. It’s absolutely fine if you want validation over sex, because your sexuality is personal and unique to you. But many women do enjoy and desire sex, so please don’t act like an authority…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/22 07:06 AM
3

Good men are the exact type of man women here are looking for. Please leave since you clearly don’t understand this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/22 07:30 PM
1

That’s just… factually untrue.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/22 07:29 PM
3

Networking is huge for finding jobs. Can you volunteer for an org that aligns with the industry you’d like to break into? I manage volunteers and we lose many of our younger ones to full time jobs.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/22 07:27 PM
2

I’m not American, but in general, I feel like meeting the parents tends to go well if you’re polite, respectful, and offer to help where you can. They might not accept it, but it’s a gesture that’s usually well received. Compliment the things about them and the house that you genuinely enjoy, but they must be sincere - i.e. “you have a lovely home”, or “you’ve been so kind, thank you for having me in your home.” Will you be meeting any other family, or just his parents/grandparents? At some poin…
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/22 12:04 PM
3

As someone who works in the nonprofit sector, unless you’re talking about working under the table or a minimum wage job, this is very much untrue.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/22 03:17 PM
1

A little late, but this video does a good job of explaining the difference between empathy and sympathy. Empathy will help you to help others better.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/22 11:06 PM
7

Last night I asked for more sex after 1 round and he said he was tired So if I’m reading the timeline correctly, you guys had sex last night. After 1 round of sex, you asked him for more and he said he was tired. Then you were upset because the next day while you were working he jerked off? I mean…. First, masturbation and sex are very different. Sex is a shared physical activity and takes longer, while masturbation can be done in a few minutes and especially if he was going to take a nap, can b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/22 08:51 PM
1

I think it really depends what kind of man a woman is looking for. If she is looking for a man who is conservative and religious, keeping a low partner count is a fantastic strategy. If she is looking for a man who is more sexually free, kinky, or into other things, being a virgin or having little experience can be a hindrance, or make her a more attractive target for predators.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/22 05:27 PM
2

Turns out the rate is actually 5 to 1 - you were closer than I was! But yes, that positive relationship spiral is the goal! The positive feedback loop builds resilience to tackle the negatives as they come, because the overall foundation is so strong.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/22 03:59 PM
3

Yes! I thank my boyfriend for things all the time, and he does it back - it always feels so nice to have someone recognize the little things. It also helps strengthen your relationship - statistically, relationships with more positive interactions to negative ones (I think the base ratio is at least 3 to 1) are stronger, longer, and happier.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 03:53 PM
4

Absolutely this. Why would anyone continue to romance someone who isn’t giving the same energy back?
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 03:51 PM
3

I don’t think that’s necessarily always true. Part of RP and RPW is the understanding that men and women have different goals, needs, and desires, so romance for men doesn’t always look the same as romance for women. For example, my boyfriend would think it was cute if I bought him flowers, but he wouldn’t find it as romantic as I would if he bought me some. Meanwhile if I surprised him with lingerie, he’d feel very loved, but him strutting around in new boxers wouldn’t do much for me. I agree w…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 03:40 PM
7

Wait what do you sit on if not a sofa or comfy chairs? Plain wooden chairs??
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 04:43 PM
5

Counters and surfaces need to be wiped minimum once a day, if not once every time food is prepared. Floors could be minimum once a week, more if there are pets. That includes cleaning under furniture and cushions, and sweeping, etc. Organization is a near constant thing - things taken out need to be put back, fridge needs to be cleared of old food when groceries are done, pantries reorganized as needed also, etc. Shared towels and sheets need to be cleaned at least weekly, same with toilets and …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 04:42 PM
1

Try and meet a man while doing something you enjoy. Do you like sports? I met my boyfriend/future husband on a co-ed sports team. It’s much easier to gauge chemistry and compatibility in person than over text!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 03:58 PM
1

If you have only seen girls bringing stress into relationships, then I have to conclude you haven’t seen many relationships.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 03:56 PM
12

Well that was eye-opening.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 01:11 AM
6

You are way overthinking things in my opinion. Why not just… communicate with him? Although based on your past posts, it sounds like you don’t really know what you want, and you might be steamrolling him in conversation. Do you know what he wants? Does he feel satisfied in the relationship? Have you asked him? IMO it does not at all take that long to determine chemistry/compatibility. You seem very much in your head and you should take a step back and see where he’s at before jumping to conclusi…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 01:09 AM
11

I feel I’ve made a grave mistake by making it VERY CLEAR that he couldn’t satisfy me in the sack What do you mean by this? Did you tell him “you can’t make me orgasm” or did you express what you do like, and what does work for you? I would say 3 months is very early to be having issues with sexual satisfaction, and if you’ve already talked to him with disrespect about this issue then it might not be something you can come back from.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 12:43 AM
1

To your last point - yes!! Whenever I notice that I’m sitting in my masculine, a quick detour into that happy/silly mode with a silly comment, a smile, and a giggle and/or kiss always brings me back out, and makes my boyfriend smile also.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 11:01 AM
1

What you’re describing sounds like domestic discipline. Which can absolutely be a great way for couples to relate and navigate the relationship with each other, for reasons you mentioned like having an outlet for his direct leadership, and a way to “resolve” the wrongdoing with a concrete act. It’s a wonderful way for couples to come closer together, but requires a huge amount of communication and negotiation! It sounds more like OP’s husband is making unilateral decisions rather than negotiatin…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 10:44 AM
2

Therapy isn’t a bad word. I know people normally suggest it for bigger things, but it can also be helpful to work through anything that someone needs to work through. If he himself has characterized it as “jealousy issues” and “a bit unreasonable” then therapy could be beneficial!
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 09:35 PM
2

That’s unfortunate. Is it possible other virgin women are intimidated? I am not sure what is part of the equation for women who choose to wait… is it religion?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 05:03 AM
3

If there’s any sort of attraction between the two (even one-sided) it’s flirting for whoever is attracted. However, I feel like flirting can be somewhat innocent and isn’t considered cheating or anything. Having a pleasant/flirty conversation used to be just called “being charming.”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:50 AM
0

This is dumb lol E: the woman doing the thing. Like what point are you even trying to make…?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:48 AM
11

Dude………… why would you tell her that you came to another woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:47 AM
1

As a woman who likes both lol, 5ish age gap is just the most practical long term. But yes, in my experience, most women generally prefer older men, even if it’s only a year or two.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:46 AM
1

God: but what if we give them surprise teeth just to fuck everything up?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:38 AM
1

I really actually admire this guy for being so straightforward. I found his ad on a crochet website lol. I read his website and it’s really endearing??? I’d never be a good fit for him but I hope he finds what he’s looking for. There has to be someone out there, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 04:34 AM
1

I was on the pill for years, got off of it for a while, and when I tried to go back on, the mood swings I got from missing taking the pill even by an hour or so were way too intense, so I stopped. I’m currently on year 3 of a 5-year hormonal IUD. My boyfriend and I have discussed taking it out before we get married to let my body return to baseline. Best part of the IUD though - no period! 😋
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 12:35 PM
9

This is catastrophizing. Men can still make fantastic money in the trades and other sectors. Being a SAHM was always a luxury good. If you think most women weren’t working throughout history, you’re mistaken.
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 07:00 PM
9

I do think type tends to be a bit more about the personality than just looks - as in, it’s more about what those traits represent for the person’s personality. So essentially I have my “type” (tall, blond, blue eyes, plays hockey) but it’s much less about the specific traits than the fact that I’m attracted to men who are extroverted and like being active. And that matters much more to me, and has much more of a bearing on our long-term viability. The physical stuff is a pattern of attraction, b…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 02:28 PM
1

Take some time to get to know each other more and just see how it goes! That’s really all you can do. Check in with yourself along the process and be honest about how you’re feeling. Really think through if you could live a life with this man. I dated someone who was like this, although I had known him as a friend for a few years beforehand. He was WAY too intense too quickly and we only made it 2 months before I had to back out. However, during alllll of our talks throughout the years before we…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 03:44 PM
4

Absolutely this. I have been told by multiple people (even literally tonight lol) that I am super sweet and genuine, but I have gotten “you looked like a bitch” initially because I walk purposefully and don’t always seem approachable while executing tasks. However, I make an effort to find common ground with everyone I talk to, and that goes a long way. OP, can you find a way to open yourself up to being more welcoming/approachable? Is there a way that you can try and find common ground with oth…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/22 06:54 AM
2

I think it really depends. I know several people who have met their long term partners (even spouses) on dating apps.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 04:53 PM
0

Several of my exes had previously been in relationships with abusive women. It’s not talked about enough, but it’s super fucked up. While I don’t doubt that physical abuse is absolutely happening in a lot of cases, the emotional abuse is rampant. I’ve never heard it outright encouraged by any of my friends, but “men ain’t shit” and similar rhetoric comes pretty damn close.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 03:03 PM
6

Ask her questions! You already have your boyfriend in common, so you can start there. What was he like as a kid, things like that. Also ask her about herself - how long has she been at her current job, and does she like it? Does she have any hobbies? Ask her about the place she’s taking you to - does she go there or do that activity often? As u/LateralThinker13 said, she’s going to be vetting you, so have answers in the back of your mind for specific questions she’s likely to ask. You don’t want…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/22 06:23 PM
4

Men don’t have to if they don’t want to. And given the amount of work a housewife/SAHM does, the cost of hiring out for that help would be way more, generally. Plenty of men also don’t do this, and have a wife/partner that contributes financially to the relationship. I know plenty of married people who still keep separate finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 02:00 PM
4

I know plenty of women who have and are good partners, and work at things to support their husbands/partners just as much as they are supported. Don’t go after women who only have a “stank ass used cooch” to offer and the world will look different.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 01:54 PM
5

It sounds like you need to take a step back and re-evaluate where you’re at and what you want out of this relationship. Are you in this relationship for him or because you just want a “boyfriend who pays for things”? Do some reflection to clarify your goals and expectations. You’re both college students without a ton of money. Would you be okay with him not being able to support you financially until after he graduates? Or do you expect him to pay for things now? In terms of frequency, should he…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/22 01:31 PM
1

Do you have any sort of Comms background with your PR degree? Joining a Comms team at a non-profit might be your way in, and you can start gaining experience that way. Additionally, maybe look into fundraising. There are a ton of free fundraising for non-profits webinars out there, so if you want to get into that you can watch some and talk about how you used your time off to look into new skills, etc. in an interview. I’d also recommend looking into volunteering, it’s a great way to gain experi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/22 02:51 PM
12

“Stop the behavior” how lol? What’s your proposed solution?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 12:36 PM
21

I’ve literally heard a friend of a friend brag about how he likes to take the condom off, cum in a girl, and then ghost her…….. But no, men don’t have any responsibility for doing the one thing that leads to pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 12:34 PM
7

Doing those things doesn’t make or mean a woman has low self esteem. But women with low self-esteem often internalize that and try and compensate by appeasing their partner and going above and beyond. You get men and women on both sides of the fence, the other being the externalizing side that criticizes, lashes out, controls, etc. But on average, women tend to internalize and men tend to externalize. It’s why you get more guys who punch holes in walls and more girls with eating disorders.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/22 03:03 AM
0

Fair enough.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 03:30 AM
1

Isn’t marriage traditional though? It’s been an institution for thousands of years.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 12:20 AM
3

How do you guys interact normally? I met my bf as friends first too. We played a co-ed sport together so we had that to talk about, and our team would also go get drinks/food after and chat. Having this regular interaction allowed us to open up gradually. Although I’ll be honest, alcohol helped a big too lol. What I did is a bit of “catch and release”. Catch his attention, then let it go. As in, ask him a question and chat for a bit, then talk with someone else. Look him in the eye when he’s tal…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/22 12:26 PM
5

Thank you for sharing! This was thought-provoking. There certainly was a lot of relief in finding a “role” that I could fit into when I found RPW, when that was something I struggled with before. Things just made more sense. But it wasn’t so much a “role” as the natural expression of who I was as a woman. I fell victim to the same narratives the original OP had as well, and it left me feeling like to be like “other girls” was a bad thing. Well, what’s so bad about being girly and liking girly th…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 04:26 PM
4

Not everyone is straight, you know that right?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 04:49 PM
8

I am going to finish the blanket I’ve been crocheting for my boyfriend’s birthday at the end of the month! I’m over halfway done, but I underestimated the amount of time it will take, so I’m hoping I can finish it in time. I’ll also have to work on it in secret since we’ll be living together very soon, which will be an additional challenge lol. I’m also hoping to completely re-organize the kitchen in the next few weeks since I’m bringing a lot of kitchen tools with me!
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 04:13 PM
1

Definitely check back in with him. Let him know you’re enjoying the way the relationship is going and that you’re starting to develop deeper feelings for him. Making it positive and being vulnerable with him will help it not feel like a confrontation, but an expression of how you feel about him. You could even approach it from the standpoint of “I really enjoy spending time with you. Talking about the concert got me so excited to share that experience together, and it made me realize I’m develop…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 06:01 AM
1

Softball! I liked that we got to meet and get to know each other in a low pressure way before we started dating, and we got to establish chemistry and rapport which made the transition easier. Another thought I had after watching Indian Matchmaker is: tap your friend/family network if you can! If your friends and family are also active in your church/community, maybe they know of someone who could be a good fit. Even if they don’t know anyone when you ask, they can keep an eye out. You seem like…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/22 11:59 AM
16

It’s not at all unreasonable to want to know where you stand in a relationship! Where do you want this relationship to go ideally? Are you looking for marriage and/or kids? What did the two of you say you were looking for when you first got together? Have you had any discussions around what your long term plans are?
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/22 11:49 AM
1

Do you like (or want to learn) any sports? I met my boyfriend on a co-ed sports team. In terms of time commitment, it’s a couple hours once a week, and I’ve made a great group of friends because of it. You said you liked nature walks, so maybe see if there’s a local hiking group or something that you can join. Groups centered around a common interest are a great way to find people into the same things you’re into! For art, maybe sign up for a class or hit up a gallery. Basically just try and fin…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/22 05:04 AM
5

My boyfriend prefers practical/useful gifts, so I’m crocheting him a blanket for his birthday since he needs another one for his living room. The thing has taken me hours already and it’s still not finished, so it’s really a labour of love! Handmade gifts are a great way to show how much you care. I’ll ask him if he needs something when I get up, and I openly and sincerely appreciate him when he does things for me. Lots of physical affection too. Plenty of random kisses haha. Remembering the thi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/22 04:57 AM
8

To your second point - yes, don’t forget that at this point you’re still vetting him. And especially coming out from an incident that damaged your trust in him, you should be looking to see what efforts he is putting in to repair that, and whether he can maintain that leadership. Whether he can continue inspiring that trust. Marriage is long, after all. Not to say that you should be cold or standoffish. You’ve decided to trust him, so trust him! It sounds like you’re happy with the effort he has…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 06:36 PM
1

Unfortunately, sometimes you just don’t get satisfying closure after something like this. It sucks, but it happens. Happened to me a couple times before I met my boyfriend now. And while this might not sound like great advice, you just have to find a way to move on. For me, that looked like spending my time on hobbies, with friends, and looking for/talking to other guys. Essentially just distracting yourself until it no longer bothers you as much. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 02:46 PM
29

Ultimately at the end of the day, it’s about trust. It sounds like you’re trusting him to not pull the rug out from under you or back out of the relationship again, and like he’s trusting you and himself to enter into a commitment with you. I hope that leads you two down a long road of happiness. My only caution is for you to watch what he does, not just what he says. It’s great that you guys have had this awesome conversation and have come to a new, seemingly healthier understanding of your rel…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 02:33 PM
2

Damn, the editing on Indian Matchmaking did Shekar so dirty.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 04:37 AM
2

As a white girl who recently-ish found out that we’re significantly more indigenous on my dad’s side than his family had previously realized, I struggle with this! Even though it’s there in black and white (my dad now has a status card, I can apply for one, but haven’t) it feels wrong to “claim” an identity I feel I don’t have any right to. But like technically I do? It just feels weird. I agree though that in my experience, most white people who say they’re part native are using it to assuage g…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/22 03:55 AM
2

Does he have any trusted men that he looks up to that he can talk to about this kind of thing? Maybe his father or a father figure/older family member, a religious leader, career mentor, etc.? It would be better if it were in person vs online, since the content online seems to be causing him to get worked up. I agree with others that this might be something better addressed with another man, or group of men. Can you encourage him to spend more time with his boys, or to join a new hobby/sport whe…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/22 02:34 AM
16

It sounds like your son is very young for now, but how long before he “wants to eat what mommy/daddy is eating?” Before he’s asking questions about how much you and your husband eat? How long before either your or your husband’s attitudes around food bleed into what you allow your son to eat? You say he gets everything he wants now, but what about when he’s old enough to start asking for McDonalds? Your son will 100% notice, learn these behaviours, and most likely develop an ED himself. Many chi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 11:51 AM
3

Relationships, companionship, the ability to provide children, sexual and emotional intimacy, support through life….. that’s not even considering physical strength, or doing difficult jobs that women overwhelmingly choose not to do…. Let’s not act like men have nothing to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 02:41 PM
1

Lol anyone who makes consuming a substance their whole personality likely doesn’t have much of one outside of that
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/22 02:39 PM
8

By the same token, wouldn’t it make sense that when men are fed up with dating women, that it’s on the women to change?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/22 02:12 AM
1

That’s awesome! Want to share any highlights?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:47 PM
1

Mm, yes and no. The events themselves they probably won’t, but as long as they come back to me for the planning process, I’d be happy with that. Sitting back and watching the event unfold/guiding everything into place but not participating is the vibe anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:47 PM
1

Love this energy 👏🏻👏🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:44 PM
2

That’s such a wonderful story, thank you for sharing ❤️ I completely know what you mean, I’d definitely want to give directly to causes that I believe in, where I know the money is going to what they say it’s going to! One place I like for that actually is Kiva, and they have a really good rating as they work in micro grants vs big program grants. It’s nice to know you can help people directly if you want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:44 PM
1

One would hope.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:39 PM
1

Fair enough! That’s probably really smart. Maybe it’s because it’s my field but donating even 5-10k can make a huge difference for a nonprofit, so I probably would find an org I like and commit to some sort of ongoing donor deal. It’s just good PR for whatever you do really.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:38 PM
2

Idk, you gotta appreciate beauty when you see it!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:33 PM
0

They should raise their bar for entry, cause that’s silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:33 PM
2

So interesting. I think in words, but also concepts and feelings. I once knew a woman who struggled to express herself because she thought in images/ideas vs words specifically. So she would just try and describe the picture in her head to varying levels of success. It must have been frustrating for her, maybe that’s why she was such a crazy bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:32 PM
1

Oh yeah good point! I’d imagine that some people would want to donate beyond that, but I wonder how many really would.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:26 PM
1

Let’s say… 100 mil. “A ton” to most of us, but not billionaire money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:22 PM
3

I recently found out how much bank the top (or even mid-tier) fundraisers bring in and realized I need to make a career switch….. That’s where all the money/networking is. Rich people going to fancy events to throw money at causes they maybe kind of care about, but definitely want to be seen caring about. I want to plan that. Q4ALL: if you suddenly had a ton of money (inheritance, lottery, whatever) would you budget philanthropy into your portfolio or would you hoard that shit like Smaug?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:17 PM
0

Yeah I’m gonna be honest I don’t wanna do half the shit my boyfriend does as a plumber. But he really enjoys it. Meanwhile the things I love at work, he would hate. His are harder/technical skills vs mine are more soft/people skills though, which is why he gets paid more. Seems fair to me 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 02:11 PM
5

Age gaps are hot, adults can do whatever they want. Interesting how “age gap” makes everyone think older man, younger woman though. Where the cougars at??
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:45 AM
1

Insecurity and/or trust issues and/or “cheating” boundaries on a hair trigger (caused by the first two reasons).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:42 AM
2

Where are you looking?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:39 AM
3

I don’t know any of my friends that have done that, nor have I done that myself. I think that some women do it out of a sense of “well idk if I’m really interested in him but he invited me out for dinner so I’ll go and see” and then he pays but they didn’t feel a connection so it ends there. And then you probably get some types (that probs listen to Call Her Daddy or some shit, or FDSers) who expect to be wined and dined from the jump, so they won’t accept anything less than a dinner first date …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:23 AM
1

Would a boot scootin’ boogie work instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:06 AM
1

This is the answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:03 AM
3

No, but the general mechanics of sex are only so diverse. Once you do it a few times, you have a general understanding of the process/basics, and can then work on variation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 11:03 AM
3

I see what you’re saying, but I don’t think that innate desire to be passionate, experimental, or dominant can be taught. That’s the part that has to come from him, that willingness to learn/grow/experiment. Like I was once briefly with a guy who just… wasn’t any of that. He was a nice enough guy, but no amount of me telling him that I liked to try new things, or suggesting specific new things to try, or asking him to take charge and tell me what to do was going to change the fact that this man …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 10:53 AM
1

Unfortunately, can confirm. Boring people use it as a substitute for a personality lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 10:42 AM
3

I agree for the most part. But a lot of inexperience can be overcome by a desire to try. Inexperience + wanting to try is miles better than experience + doesn’t want to try at all. Having experienced both, I would always choose the first option.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 10:41 AM
3

Being taught about your body and puberty and sexual organs in general is very different than being exposed to hardcore porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 10:38 AM
3

No, that’s not unreasonable. If this is happening to you a lot though, then maybe those girls just aren’t as into you as you are them, unfortunately. Or it’s something about the girls you’re going for. Again, if it’s not working for you, do something to change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 05:07 AM
5

If that’s how you feel you gotta communicate that my man. It’s completely fair to want a girl you’ve been out on a date or two with to not fuck other guys. But “behaving monogamously towards each other from the second [you] meet” is flat out unrealistic. You can’t just expect that because you have one conversation with someone that they’re being completely exclusive and not talking to anyone else. Ultimately, if what you’re doing currently isn’t working for you, change something. You may have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 04:59 AM
1

I think there’s a stat somewhere that people who got married after 25 were more likely to stay together or something? I think by the time you’re mid 20s, your brain has stopped growing, and you have a few years of adult life experience that should hopefully help you have a solid sense of who you are as a person. But everyone decides what they want/need out of life at a different pace, so I would say like 25-32 is probably a good age for women to marry if they want kids, and bump that up a few ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/22 03:05 AM
1

That’s not a problem for us, but thank you for your concern. Do you have any tips on how to not get so ahead of myself in terms of the planning aspect? From your profile it looks like you’re married, so what did you do in the time between agreeing that you wanted to be married and getting engaged? Did you struggle with this at all?
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 08:16 PM
2

I looked it up and you’re right, the basic one does. I was thinking of Adderall XR which lasts 8-12 hours, but OP didn’t say which one she’s on. Mine lasts up to 14 hours so I was just thinking it was similar. For a normal working adult you’d think they’d need the extended one for a full work day.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 07:49 PM
5

You’ve gotten some great ideas here that I won’t repeat, but maybe see if there’s a way to get the kids involved? For example, if your husband has time for a video call, a quick one to say hi and have the boys say hi and that they miss him might go a long way to letting him know you’re thinking about him! If not, you can send him photo updates of what the four of you are up to. Although it really depends on your relationship. When my boyfriend and I spend time apart, I know he’s not really check…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 07:33 PM
2

That’s not really an option for someone who needs to take Adderall daily for ADHD. It’s not a “take it while working” kinda thing, it’s a “daily med” kinda thing.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 07:14 PM
6

Not necessarily. Relationships are not so binary.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 02:05 PM
4

As someone who values sexual compatibility really highly, I agree with you. Your life partner should be the person you have the BEST sex ever with. You’re literally spending the rest of your life together, so why would you want to settle for anything less? If sex isn’t as much of a priority, that’s when you see people settling in terms of that. And sex is not the most important thing for a lot of people. Maybe they value other traits more highly, and they’re okay with having alright sex. And the…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 02:04 PM
1

we rarely do much because my boyfriend and I don’t have matching hobbies so we don’t really ever date as much as we simply hang out What do you mean by this? I don’t think you really need to have matching hobbies to still do things together.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 04:56 PM
12

How old are you, and how long have you been together? Also, can you give us an idea of what kind of outfits you wear that are feminine and fashionable? I feel like that context would be helpful. So he wants you to wear more laid-back, “skater” clothes. Okay, fine. He’s expressed a preference, he’s allowed. I see 2 issues. 1, do you already own clothes like this, or is this something he wants you to purchase more of? In my opinion, if he wants you to change your style and spend money on a new war…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 03:35 PM
0

Can confirm - OKC had the weirdest assortment of men and women from my anecdotal experience and discussions with men I met on there!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 11:57 PM
13

In your post, I’m hearing a lot about what you do for him, but not much about what you do for yourself. Like the other commenter suggested, take a page from Laura Doyle and focus on some self-care! If you have other outlets for your energy, you’ll spend less time needing more energy from him. Try picking up a new hobby - I learned to crochet during the pandemic, and am working on a blanket for my boyfriend’s birthday. While I’m working on it I can feel connected to him without having to necessar…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 02:52 PM
3

My issue wasn’t with your first paragraph, it was just with the second, my bad for not being clear. I agree that there’s no guarantee that there is always a “better” man out there, and telling women that as a default response isn’t helpful. It’s how you end up with the old “husband store” joke, and a lot of women ending up alone or passing up good men over something small! So we’re on the same page about that. My issue is that he did question the commitment. He started off the conversation by br…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 02:22 PM
1

Lots of great questions here so far. Adding a few: Where will you live? His place, yours, or a place you find together? If it’s a new place, what is most important to each of you, and what are each of you willing to compromise on? Are either of you planning on buying a house in the future, or are you okay with renting? Where does he see himself living long term? In the same city, somewhere else? Does he want to stay close to family (if that’s where you are now)? Would moving for work be a possib…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 04:34 AM
3

The break sounds like it was a good idea to give you both some space and time to figure out your feelings. I think it’s worth waiting out the two weeks and then having a conversation with him to see where he’s at. However, if he’s still confused/can’t make a decision, and provides no timeline on the situation improving, you have to decide if you can trust him to lead your future. Uncertainty is going to happen in a marriage - that’s life! But the whole point of a marriage is for them to be the o…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 04:16 AM
3

I don’t think that’s fair to OP considering the (ex?) boyfriend is the one who initiated the breakup. She’s just saying that she can’t be friends with him - either he’s in this with her or he’s not.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 03:40 AM
1

Oh absolutely! Family is really important to me, and while I went through a stint as a teenager where I decided I didn’t want kids, it’s something I definitely want now. But I do think it’s a sacrifice like you say - once you’re a parent, you’re a parent for the rest of your life. My parents also put a lot of effort into making sure we saw family/our cousins regularly when I was growing up, and I’m so grateful they did. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how important family is, and I can’t wai…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 04:39 PM
2

Thank you for your comment! I admit, our relationship has been quite charmed so far, and we rarely argue, if ever. We have dealt with a few things, and every time we have been supportive of each other and I feel like it’s brought us closer. Neither of us have been abused or have any addictions, or any destructive pathologies. But we do tackle problems as us vs. the problem, and we don’t say things we don’t mean, or hurtful things we can’t take back. That’s really important to us. I do agree that…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/22 01:36 PM
3

Absolutely! Both of us are only interested in that forever kind of commitment, and the rest of the stuff is just that - stuff. I just like to plan the fun stuff because it’s fun to think about! That being said, I’m 28. And at this point, I’d likely be about 30 by the time we start actually trying to conceive. The last thing I’d want is the decision of how many kids we want to have to be taken out of our hands because of my age. I have friends my age already having issues conceiving, and both my …
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 06:19 PM
1

I love this idea! I’ll see about chatting with my friends or other people about this rather than him, so I can get the energy out but not put any pressure on him. I definitely don’t plan on bringing it up at all to him, so I’ll let him control the pace on that. And haha, we are both very busy people!! So I’ll just continue with that - I don’t have a ton of time to spend on this stuff day-to-day either, so that helps. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 05:44 PM
2

Aw that’s so sweet! Okay that’s fair, I definitely do not plan to bring it up myself haha. I also spend probably too much time on wedding subs, which probably doesn’t help lol. I’ll keep just saving ideas for the next time he wants to talk about it, and let it happen when it happens lol! Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 02:48 AM
13

And you got that from the study… how?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 02:38 AM
2

You definitely need to talk with him and dig deep into the root of the issue. Why is he bringing this up now, and why did he wait until after you were engaged? What is the root of his desire here? Is it just sexual variety that he needs? Talk with him and see if there are ways he can scratch that itch in another way. For example, would you be open to threesomes or swinging, so he can get his fix of sex with others while keeping you involved? For example, my boyfriend and I both want to “play” wi…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 03:23 PM
2

Okay. And why do you shut them down? Is there a fear or an insecurity there that if he leaves, you’ll lose something? When my boyfriend and I leave each other (we don’t live together either) we’ll express how we’ll miss each other, I’ll say I don’t want to go or don’t want him to go, there’s lots of hugging, kissing, staying a bit later to say one more thing, okay one more kiss, okay just one more… etc. You can be vulnerable and sad he’s going but still make it a positive experience for you both…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/22 06:59 PM
1

I get super sad because I don’t want him to leave. How do you handle that in the moment?
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/22 06:52 PM
5

“Just do more” in the hopes that he will too is setting up a covert contract, and that’s not helpful either. In fact, it’s likely to lead to more disappointment. What you need to do is communicate your needs better, and the fact that you’re aware of that and trying to work on it is a great step in the right direction! Let’s start with what you said about picking fights because you need “more attention/care/consideration” from him. When you do this, does it actually give you more care and conside…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/22 06:48 PM
2

This is so disordered it’s not funny lol.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/22 03:11 PM
11

Neither of you sound that interested in each other. I’d move on.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/22 06:14 PM
1

I took a local, in-person class to learn. Honestly, nothing really compares to learning in person and having someone knowledgeable correct your technique as you go! So I’d recommend seeing if there are any classes in your area. Once you have the basics down, all the online tutorials will make more sense. I can’t recommend it enough. Then, honestly, practice, practice, practice! Make a “toile” or a functional draft of your pattern first in a basic fabric, so you can adjust the fit before cutting …
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/22 05:10 PM
1

I started drafting a response and then had to go to work and just… moved on with my life 😂 I’d highly recommend it! For the record, though: Kim K def used her first husband to get more famous and ditched. She did that with all of her husbands. Angelina Jolie I guess could count with her first husband, but not BBT who was already famous in his own right, and being her second husband, doesn’t count as a “starter” any longer. Adele has only been married once and got married in 2018, after she got s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/22 01:16 PM
2

What’s your thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:13 AM
1

Rly thought your username was “AstronautLovesShrek” at first glance
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:12 AM
1

Loool I can neither confirm nor deny
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:11 AM
1

Down for it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:09 AM
1

It’s… fine? Not great, not horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:03 AM
1

Nah. Decently attractive but not extremely. It must be nice to always know you’re the hottest person in the room though.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 04:01 AM
1

Living their best life!!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 03:58 AM
1

Ouu fun fun. Do you like it?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 03:54 AM
1

Honestly, average guys who have something interesting about them. Like what’s your shtick? What’s your thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 03:49 AM
–

What’s sparky school?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 07:27 PM
–

I don’t wanna work I just wanna crochet cat couches all day. What are you avoiding by spending your time on Reddit instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:58 PM
–

I meannn fair enough lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:55 PM
–

Well first of all the dog would go ape shit so we’d probably let him loose to go jump on the intruder. Then I’d probably call 911 while finding something hard to hit him with, and my bf would probably also head towards the intruder to head him off. I guess it also kinda depends where the intruder is in the house when we notice, but I think that about sums it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:53 PM
–

I mean considering he also raised her from when she was 4 years old, there might also be other things at play….
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:51 PM
–

Wait… a refrigerator? 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:48 PM
3

Bars aren’t the only option! There are festivals, art galleries, other random events, co-ed sports teams, neighbourhood parties, cooking classes, book signings, comedy clubs, camping, farmer’s markets, pop up markets, coffee shops, etc. I don’t know what things are like in the States though, so YMMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:37 PM
3

Never, I would avoid the guys who were “too” attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:19 PM
7

My preferences have changed in some ways and stayed the same in others. I’ve always been into tall, blue-eyed semi-athletic guys. I am a short, green-eyed athletic girl. That didn’t change. I also place a premium on sexual compatibility and refuse to compromise on that either. But I was also raised in a middle-class, white collar household. I always thought I would meet like a tech guy, or a finance guy, or something like that. And I did date those guys. I would occasionally go on dates with blu…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:16 PM
–

This is a maturity thing, and it’s not limited to just women… I had an ex before that got mad and woke me up at 3am on a work night because he went through my phone and saw I hadn’t deleted texts from… years before I met him. Because I don’t delete anything. But apparently it meant that I was secretly looking at them and wishing I was with those guys instead? Some people are just immature and irrational. It sounds like your gf was hurt that she didn’t get to see you, and she expressed it poorly.…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 06:01 PM
5

Do stuff that takes you elsewhere in the city. Suburbs are full of families (aka they’re not single).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 04:52 PM
2

In order to meet people you just gotta put yourself in more situations where you meet people. It’s that simple. Join a sport, volunteer, join hobby groups, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 05:43 AM
1

The little down arrow, that turns blue and downvotes when you click it. I’ve always thought of it as a button. What do you consider it? As I said, I’ll never convince you that marriage is a good idea, and you’ll never convince me that it’s a bad one, but at least we can agree on the fact that if people want to be together, they should be together!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:37 AM
28

It sounds like there’s a huge communication breakdown and both of you are hurt. You’re understandably hurt that he doesn’t have a plan forward after promising you something, and he’s hurt that you don’t trust him (after breaking his word). He’s probably feeling some level of embarrassment or shame around not being able to provide for children like you’d discussed. I think it’s really unfair of him to be angry at you for being sad, and it doesn’t seem like the two of you are really hearing each o…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 08:34 AM
5

It really is just up to deciding what matters most to you, as u/SunshineSundress pointed out. And also, what are you doing to proactively seek out the type of men you’re attracted to? This is key as well. There’s nothing “wrong” with you, you just have to take the hand you’re dealt and make the best of it. You’ve got agency, so how would you like to exercise it? Put yourself out there. Go on first dates with guys, even if you’re not sure you’re into them. If you’re really not into him then obvio…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 08:25 AM
1

Are you alright? We’re just chatting, take a breath. There’s no need for insults dude. If you have separate finances, separate assets (as well as joint ones) and a prenup that states that each party leaves with their separate assets, and only joint assets are split… that’s exactly what happens. It’s a legal contract. A lawyer can argue against all of the “bs” that a party might try and claim to get out of the prenup because the living situation (separate for most things) was agreed upon and acte…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 08:10 AM
2

The downvote button isn’t a “disagree” button. Given what I hear and read both online and in my group of friends, men and women are plenty aware that marriage carries risks. I don’t disagree with you there. The problem is on both sides people think it’ll make someone change, or “fix” the relationship, rather than focusing on just having a healthy relationship in the first place. It’s not so much marriage that’s the issue, but shitty partner selection. Anyone who gets divorced bears some responsi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 07:54 AM
0

I’ve only ever known people without prenups who have gotten screwed over in a divorce, and those people also chose petty, vindictive people to marry, so 🤷🏼‍♀️ there’s an element of personal responsibility there. I’ve never known or heard of anyone with a solid, balanced prenup for both parties becoming “divorce raped.”
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 07:51 AM
1

It’s not one person who “makes” the prenup, it’s BOTH parties, that’s the point. Absolutely if it’s just one party making all the decisions and the other just signs it without legal representation then it’s unbalanced and unfair and those have indeed been thrown out. What I am saying is an agreement agreed upon by both parties, with balanced protections for both, is very unlikely to be thrown out. Plenty of married couples also have separate finances and just have an account for joint bills. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 07:49 AM
1

Unlawful prenups can get thrown out. Lawful prenups rarely do. Look, you’re never going to convince people who want to get married that they shouldn’t get married, and you’re never going to convince people who don’t want to get married that they should. These things aren’t governed by logic, but emotion. However what you CAN do is use a legal agreement to make sure that you’re protected or in agreement about a number of scenarios that are explicitly stated, because emotion can’t always be relied…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/22 07:31 AM
6

I feel you girl. I just cut my hair recently, and it went from being navel-length to nipple-length. At first I hated it! I haven’t had it this short in years, and while most people might still consider this “long”, I don’t. I also went for a color closer to my natural (ashy blonde vs a much lighter balayage) so I probably spent a good two days crying about it lmao. But you know what? It really is just hair. Your hair will grow back. And this time if you’re putting in effort to keep it healthy al…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 07:20 AM
1

😂 trust me I know But this is honestly just like hypothetical research at this point lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:37 PM
1

Almost a year 😂 I know, I know We both know we’re gonna get married though
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:30 PM
1

Almost a year 😂 which is why I know I’m in full Dumb Bitch TM mode We both know it’s inevitable though
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:28 PM
2

Facts
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:25 PM
4

Do you have an example? I can’t think of anyone
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:20 PM
3

Lol fair enough. One of the ones I was looking at is an actual century-old dairy barn that’s super cute though 🥺 But I agree, the wedding tax is insane. Same cake with a 200% markup cause it’s a “wedding cake” now. Bullshit, I tell ya!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:09 PM
11

An honest pre-nup that’s been established by two people with their own legal representation is rarely thrown out. It’s still a legally-binding document, they don’t get thrown out willy-nilly. If you genuinely love someone, why would you allow them to stay at home if you’re only going to resent them for it and think that it means they’re not contributing value to the relationship? I’m not saying divorce can be planned for, but I do think people should vet their partners hard before marriage and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:07 PM
3

It’s been cleaned up and made nice, but the structure itself is a barn, idk what else to call it
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 09:01 PM
2

That’s… a really good idea 👀👀 My bf’s brother and his wife got married at a ski resort actually, maybe when we do get engaged I’ll ask her about it. Thanks!!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:55 PM
1

Bro just get a prenup that outlines the fact that what’s yours is yours and hers is hers and you’re good. Don’t have a SAHW and you won’t have to pay out. Easy. These things don’t just happen to people. You can take steps to avoid being put in this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:51 PM
1

Oof yeah that will definitely be part of the discussion lol! We can’t do a weekday but off-season would help for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:46 PM
2

Yeah but you’d think like a BARN wouldn’t be that crazy right??
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:44 PM
1

Yeah I was just checking out venues to see what we might have to save up for for some financial planning I’m doing. And of course now that I’ve seen what I’ve seen, I’ve been doing research on where we can save cause this shit is crazy lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:41 PM
2

I found my dream ring for like $2800 and I thought like hey, that’s not terrible…. And I could probably find a dress I like for less than $2k, but these venues are crazy lol. Cheapest one I found was JUST the venue rental for about $7k, including tables/chairs/etc. but not food or drinks, and it’s only that cheap because they’re brand-spanking-new. It’s a fucken racket, I tell ya!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:38 PM
6

Because I am a Dumb BitchTM I was looking up wedding venues to see what kinda shit my boyfriend and I are going to have to save up for and these barns really out here charging like $20k 😩 and that’s JUST venue/food/alcohol. Maybe THAT’S the reason people are getting married less, damn.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 08:22 PM
8

Absolutely agree. I do think that the type of person to have the discipline to push themselves physically over a long period of time is likely to have discipline in other areas though, so it’s still a positive sign.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/22 04:21 PM
18

Where are you meeting these men? If it’s online: what does your profile say about you? I was able to find more traditional-minded men by being explicit about it on my profile, and highlighting the kind of feminine qualities I had that traditional men would be looking for. They’re out there, but they want to make sure that you’re going to be holding up your end of the bargain as many provider-type men are wary of being taken advantage of. So basically, you want to sell yourself as a good wife whi…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/22 04:19 PM
3

Boring people don’t have opinions, new things to add to a conversation, or a drive to learn or create. Learning and creating are great ways to both help depression and to not be boring. A great way to do both is to pick up a new hobby!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 01:24 AM
1

Completely agree with all of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 01:22 AM
3

Maybe it’s not a super special key to being awesome, but testing and pushing the limits of what your body is capable of, and engaging in friendly competition (sparring) with peers is incredibly healthy overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 01:19 AM
2

You have to put yourself out there, as scary as it might be. Are there any sort of social clubs or teams or groups related to things you enjoy, that you can join? In order to increase your chances of finding someone, you have to put yourself in situations where you interact with other people. Try going to concerts for artists you like, that’s a great way to be around men with whom you share at least one thing in common! I met my boyfriend (and a whole new group of friends!) on a co-ed sports tea…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 03:04 PM
5

You’re using “loyalty” to mean “monogamy”, but as you’re expressing later, that’s not necessarily always the case. Non-monogamous partners can absolutely be loyal to their partners, it just doesn’t involve the monogamy part. What matters is, does he make you feel emotionally safe and cared for, and like he’s got your back? Having been in a sort of throuple situation, ultimately what matters is your relationship with him, not his relationship with anyone else. And it seems like you’re happy to fo…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 12:17 PM
3

This is not as true as you seem to think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/22 12:01 PM
1

“You don’t have to compete with/constantly challenge/out-masculine your man” is something regularly discussed in RP circles as an issue
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 03:05 PM
1

Like if he misses a turn while driving, or we disagree on what time we should go home from the bar, or if he uses a slightly wrong word (English is his second language but he’s native fluent), etc. I could be annoying about it but I don’t. He’s an adult and can realize when he’s made mistakes without me needing to point it out every time. And while I’ve had a problem with correcting people since I was a young child (ADHD) I’ve realized that it’s not necessary to undermine him all the time in thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:44 PM
4

What I get out of the RPW sub is the focus on personal accountability. If you bring a relationship problem there, the focus is on things YOU can do, not “girl he’s terrible throw the whole man out.” Or just shitting on your partner. And yes, sometimes that’s the answer: it’s not a good relationship. But sometimes the answer is that you’re looking at it the wrong way, or that you need to focus more on self-care for a while to fill up your cup before you can fill others’. Yeah you got your conserv…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/22 01:33 PM
14

If this is the same guy who ghosted you… he must have had a pretty good explanation for doing so for you to still be with him. Are you sure you can trust him to move to a whole new state and uproot your entire life? Make sure you have a getaway plan just in case - it’s super easy for manipulators to put on a front for several months (see love bombing, big promises, future faking, etc.) and then change once he’s got you living with him. Make sure that no matter what you have enough savings to get…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/22 03:21 AM
2

You gotta do some HARD self-reflection. Be honest with yourself about your emotions and motivations. This is what is going to improve your chances of therapy working, and getting your life back on track. Don’t fall into a pattern of catastrophizing, i.e. “I hurt him and he didn’t deserve it, I’m a horrible person, I’m broken, etc.” Take responsibility for how you’re feeling by asking yourself questions like “WHY do I feel this way? Why did I really react that way? What is the root cause? How did…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 11:36 AM
1

This explains a lot. You two sound young. I still stand by what I said, but maybe things aren’t so set in stone. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/22 11:15 AM
8

Have you seen the last 8 years? It seems like this is already happening. The pendulum swings one way, then the other. There is no consistency from administration to administration.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/22 11:05 AM
5

It sounds like you’re not actually interested in your boyfriend - but an idea of who he might be, potentially, if he changes in some specific ways you want him to change. I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, but that’s not love. You cannot get into a relationship with someone hoping they will change, because you will always be disappointed. The only thing you can change is yourself. If you wouldn’t be happy if he stayed the same as he is right now, do both of yourselves a favor and break up with him no…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/22 07:34 PM
15

I’ve never done the airhead/ditzy side of things, but certainly with the curious/exploratory and sweet/kind aspects, I’ve been able to attract high quality partners, and I find it’s something men really gravitate towards. Being easily excitable/finding joy in the little things in particular is key.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/22 07:24 PM
1

Says who?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 11:35 PM
3

Soooo you’re saying non-promiscuous men use virginity to determine a woman’s value. Not all men. At least be consistent with your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 10:28 PM
3

They just have different baggage, likely sexual hangups, etc. No adult has no baggage.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 10:26 PM
1

I don’t like this thing so it must mean no man likes this thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 10:24 PM
5

This
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/22 12:44 PM
1

I’m the same way honestly. Even down to not really taking pictures, so I’m okay with it haha. However now that I’m spending more time with my bf and his friends and family, a bunch of them are big on pictures so… I’m realizing there’s a lot that photos can’t quite capture, and some people just look better in photos than others. Oh well. 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 08:03 PM
14

Absolutely this. Spend time actively doing your hobbies and you’ll meet other people into those hobbies. You’re never the only person in the world into a certain thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:55 PM
15

Your view of this is too narrow - niche game absolutely works past high school. My cousin who fronts a punk band married an alt girl. My boyfriend and I - both sporty people - met on a sports team. My brother and his girlfriend bonded over anime and gaming. There are just more niches after high school - all-around jocks, hipsters, social media “influencers”, frat guys and sorority girls, travellers, minimalists, corporate climbers, country people, elder emos, metal heads, runners, wine drinkers,…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:54 PM
1

Ah okay. College means more like trades college/2 year program in Canada, so I wanted to double check lol. No I don’t think I know any guys like that actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:47 PM
1

Absolutely!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:46 PM
1

Depends! I know several couples that kept their individual last names. And if she had a lot of prestige in her career maybe he should take her last name? If something were to happen and my bf would start making less than me I’d still probably take his last name when we married.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:38 PM
–

It’s a sign! Idk of what, but it’s something lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:36 PM
1

Fair enough. Never heard that about the iPhone camera though
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:19 PM
2

Would you rather be really attractive in person but not photogenic and never take a good picture, or be average but every photo of you always looks great?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 07:00 PM
3

Yeah there’s no way that’s gonna work how they think it will 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:52 PM
1

She wasn’t hot enough to be that crazy :/
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:51 PM
2

Yeah it’s concerning
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:50 PM
1

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:50 PM
1

From my experience in uni, engineers are either more the type to not party and just study, or more the party hard and like drink beer while studying type lol. My brother was a mix of both leaning to the latter - so there are socially competent engineers, but most of them definitely fit into the first category lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:32 PM
1

When you say college do you mean a 4 year program? Or does like trades college count?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 06:30 PM
1

Last night a girl came in to our friends’ bar solely for the purpose of sitting at the bar and loudly crying on a phone call. For like an hour. It was incredibly awkward - she was like monologuing at this poor guy and wouldn’t even let him talk while she almost yelled things like “I have no fucking friends, I have no family, I have nobody. I’ve never even had a real friend because they all try to kiss me.” Meanwhile people were leaving, and it go to the point that we were closing up the bar arou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 05:34 PM
3

As apex predators, we can eat what we want. This is how humans evolved. Circle of life and all that shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/22 05:23 PM
1

This seems like it contradicts u/SmarmyPapsmears’ initial comment
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:26 PM
2

Points for your honesty at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 09:22 PM
2

This is true. Being fake or pretending all the time sounds fucking exhausting. Why would anyone want to live that way?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:22 PM
2

Humans did not evolve to sit inside and stare at pixels all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:21 PM
3

Like attracts like. Genuine people seek out and spend time with other genuine people. Fake people seek out and spend time with other fake people. Regardless of how much you try not to, we all take on some characteristics of the people we spend the most time around. So if you are genuine, and you spend time with genuine people, the people in your circle aren’t going to be playing games and trying to fuck each other over - they’ll just be good friends and partners. Personally, I try and live my li…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:20 PM
2

Eh, it is what it is. I met my bf on a sports team so 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 08:14 PM
10

I never really had a true list, but growing up, all the guys that I had crushes on were at least 2 or 3 of the following: tall, blue-eyed, blond hockey players. As a blonde, green-eyed hockey player, that was just always my type. However that was never something that I specifically sought out - it was more that I would be attracted to a guy and then realize he has a few of the things. I’ve been attracted to other guys, but in terms of men I’ve dated, only a few didn’t meet at least 2 of them. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:50 PM
8

Speaking from experience, I’m around the 27-29% mark (working on losing that Covid weight 😭) and while my dating options didn’t disappear, I do notice a difference in the way I’m treated/looked at. I still get looks (I’m pretty athletic) but not nearly as much as I got in the 21-26% range. So I’d say 27-29% is where things start to change - and 30+% is usually where there’s a significant difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 07:42 PM
3

Finally medicating my ADHD meant… a world of difference for me lol. But monitor your side effects - medication can potentially make you more irritable so it’s important to talk to your doctor about finding the right fit for you! That said, can you give us examples of things that frustrate you that result in conflict between you and your partner? That might help us provide more relevant examples. In general, I find that trying to make myself think bigger picture can lessen the emotional impact of…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/22 05:56 PM
1

We do! And hm I’d say 3 out of 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:43 AM
3

I mean I definitely get the bimbo thing, but I don’t agree with your second last paragraph. I know a decent amount about a lot - I just like learning. But there is still a ton of giggling and smiling in my relationship, and none very little of it is related to my boyfriend having to explain things to me lol. I don’t think those two things have the correlation you’re describing. I do agree that if the only thing holding your relationship together is sharing knowledge, that’s not much of a relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:33 AM
3

Aww I just got another Reddit cares message. The people here really are the most kind and caring community!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:15 AM
3

I interpreted OP’s comment to be describing a man sharing something that he knows a lot about that the woman doesn’t. That’s what’s hot. But you’re right that no one wants to have a thing they already know about, explained to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:09 AM
1

Petite blonde + probs some crazy sex act lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 05:01 AM
3

Silly woman, don’t you know that internet strangers know your relationship better than you? 😏
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:56 AM
4

So she already knows all the details but she’s just supposed to listen to someone explain it to her…? Why?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:54 AM
9

I think you’re thinking too much into it. You’re not required to share your social media with anyone, but any guy you end up dating is going to see your insta eventually, right? So I wouldn’t lead with it, but after you meet up and you like the guy, why not share? If he starts acting weird after he sees it then you know he’s not the one - and that’s a good thing, he just took himself out of the running which means you’re one step closer to finding a better match!! Also - don’t spend forever talk…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/22 04:46 AM
1

I think there’s a big difference in emotional maturity. At 16 years old I was getting grounded for cutting my own hair. At 18 I was living completely on my own. They’re not the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:39 AM
2

Would you want your 16 year old daughter fucking a 30+ year old man? Be honest now.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 04:38 AM
3

Iconic
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:07 AM
3

Absolutely this!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:04 AM
8

Being considerate and respectful up until the point you’re disrespected is like the hallmark of a secure man. Only insecure men need to “prove” their “alphaness” all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 03:03 AM
9

Explaining the details of something you’re interested in doesn’t sound anything like competition or challenge.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:57 AM
4

That’s honestly hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:54 AM
3

Capability is sexy. That’s basically what it is. It’s not always money-making ability - it can be anything. Like when my bf explains something technical about plumbing… the fact that he knows so much about it is really hot lol, even if it’s not something I really need to know all the details of. When I was dating I would generally try to give a guy at least 2 dates before calling it if I wasn’t sure I was interested, but that was more out of courtesy than anything. Sometimes people aren’t always…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:54 AM
1

It’s just like a specific brand of baba ganoush that’s rly smooth and has a nice tang to it lol, idk how they make it different though
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/22 02:46 AM
5

Well I’d say being fit is above average. Not being fat is the higher end of average.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 04:52 PM
2

Why yes, I do care about young girls not being preyed upon by older men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 02:13 AM
1

Yeah Get Out leads me to believe something different lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:48 AM
2

That’s rly sweet of you 🥺
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:47 AM
1

Eh, people are all different. She met you at a different time than she met those guys, that’s all. Not everyone has only one type that they never deviate from. I still would have hooked up with my now-bf in uni. But I just hadn’t met him yet 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s different from my exes but that’s not a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:46 AM
1

I don’t wanna fuck a 16 year old, sorry to ruin your fantasy
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:41 AM
3

Yeah all the party girls I know got married to party dudes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:39 AM
2

Hi that part of the statement is a joke Anyone who cares that much about fucking 16 year olds is still suspicious as hell 😇
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/22 12:37 AM
0

You responded to my comment about dudes wanting to fuck 16 year olds. What in any of what I have said gave you any sort of impression that I think you personally can’t do one thing or another? You had to scroll pass my initial comment to engage with me further down the thread, but let me reiterate my initial point that past 18, adults can do what they want. I do not personally have any sort of stance on your dating life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:58 PM
0

That’s a bit better lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:42 PM
1

Sorry dude, you don’t “deserve” anything. If you’re not offering what people are buying, the market isn’t going to work in your favor. Them’s the breaks. Also I don’t see any reason in your post why not being able to get dates in your 20s means somehow you should be able to fuck 16 year olds without being judged?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:41 PM
1

Sorry anyone who argues that lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:36 PM
1

Yeah fair. I’m that type though - I always ask someone if I can call them - so that part didn’t seem as weird to me lol If it’s new behavior though, I can see why it would be concerning
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:04 PM
1

I’ve never had someone suggest it to me but my brother does it and seems to really enjoy it so maybe there’s something there
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:03 PM
1

Agree. I think we’ve lost a lot by sitting in our homes and failing to connect with the wider natural world :(
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 10:01 PM
2

Hmmm yeah I guess the timing thing makes it seem more ominous? Hopefully it’s not that bad though!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 09:59 PM
6

Any man that seriously, genuinely argues that it should be totally fine for grown ass men to fuck 16 year olds because it’s “technically legal” has something wrong with them, sorry I don’t make the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 09:59 PM
1

Any grown ass man that spends his time trying to fuck 16 year olds is not any sort of man I would want to be in any sort of relationship with 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 09:55 PM
8

I disagree. Studies have shown that being exposed to more diverse body types lessens one’s own body dissatisfaction. As insecurities are a big reason that people lash out, that will lessen. If no one had clothes, normal human bodies would begin to be normalize. Sure, people would find ways to judge people on attractiveness still, but when no one can hide anything, I think it would make society less shallow, not more.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 09:08 PM
2

Well, my now-boyfriend made it known he was kinda into me long before we actually got together, so that helped. At first I wasn’t sure but then I put effort into going out for drinks with that group of friends, trying to sit relatively close to him and talk to him, and then eventually offering to buy him a drink for his birthday at a place he said he wanted to try. For other guys, I didn’t do much to be honest. I only ever went as far as engaging them in conversation/light flirtatious banter.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 09:00 PM
1

We’re going to be. Good things take time ☺️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 08:55 PM
3

“Legal” doesn’t necessarily mean “accepted”. See the abortion debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 06:27 PM
12

Traditional is often RPW, but RPW is not always traditional. As has been said many times before: RPW is a toolbox, not a prescription. Plenty of happy couples that largely inhabit traditional gender roles still sometimes do 50/50 (or some approximation thereof), because with the state of the global economy, not every couple can afford to live on one income alone, and that’s just a fact of life. The economic necessity of splitting bills does not make a man cheap. If he never treats his girl thoug…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 05:46 PM
1

Agreed. Anyone willing to demonstrate that they care about their partner this little, shouldn’t be with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:31 PM
2

Why is 50/50 with a fiancé weird?
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 05:29 PM
2

All women choosing to be in male led relationships allow their men to lead. We are adult women making a choice, and participating of our own free volition. Choosing to let him lead is placing your trust in him to do so. He cannot do that if you don’t let (aka allow) him.
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 05:29 PM
1

Lol agreed
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:17 PM
2

Ah fair enough. Dude did build an empire!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:10 PM
2

Yep. It gives me Missing Missing Reasons vibes. “I just unilaterally changed the terms of our relationship, why he is upset???” Like you have to know exactly why he is upset. No one is that dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:10 PM
5

My libido fluctuates (can’t wait to get off bc) but while I agree with you that low libido isn’t a reason to cheat, willfully ignoring your partner’s needs and refusing to satisfy them sexually is not a recipe for a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:03 PM
1

Who’s your top pick? 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 05:00 PM
2

She’s essentially saying she knows she is causing her husband to be unhappy and is unwilling to do anything about it. The selfishness is astounding. Like didn’t you promise to love this person for the rest of your life? I don’t understand it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:57 PM
2

This is probably it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:54 PM
1

I thought it was cinnamon
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:54 PM
4

Eh, doesn’t have to be the first night, but there should be a palpable desire for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:52 PM
2

You’re on a debate sub, dude. Grow up.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:23 PM
2

We’re all crazy to be spending so much time here 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:22 PM
5

I hate shit like that. This is why people should vet for sexual compatibility. Imagine hating your spouse so much that you really think their sexual needs are that unimportant.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:21 PM
8

I love when people have no argument and they resort to insults lmao. Like is that really all you got? If you’re going to post on a debate sub, at least try and defend your position.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:20 PM
3

Wouldn’t you like to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:18 PM
2

Yet here you are, arguing that it’s okay for grown men to fuck 16 year olds.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:17 PM
1

Two. One is picky, one is an overweight alcoholic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:13 PM
1

Dudes who want to fuck 16 year olds as grown adults are suspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:07 PM
23

I don’t think that a woman’s maintenance level changes meaningfully unless she’s subconsciously trying to sabotage the relationship. If that’s the case, nothing you do will be enough. In most cases, women have a set standard of how they like to be treated. High maintenance women will continue to be high maintenance, but may shift a little either way. Low maintenance women will continue to be low maintenance, except in cases where they present as lower-maintenance than they actually are due to in…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:07 PM
4

I mean yeah. It’s a shorthand for “when you do these things I feel appreciated and like you love me.”
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:00 PM
2

The age of consent is 16 in some places and I do not at all think that 16 year olds are capable of the same understanding that 18 year olds have. 18 year olds are prepped by society to believe they are adults when they turn 18, so that carries with it a sense of responsibility/ownership that they take on when they reach it. 16 year olds aren’t there. Every year in a teenager’s development is crucial to their mental and emotional growth, and those 2 years represent a big difference in maturity an…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:57 PM
17

I didn’t settle and I was able to find someone who met all my “needs”. I think as people get older, they’re just better able to clarify their “needs” from their “wants”. So it’s not so much “settling” as “realizing that some shit doesn’t actually matter, and other stuff does.” For example, I thought I wanted someone who graduated from a 4-year university and worked a white collar job, but when I met my boyfriend, that didn’t actually matter. However what did matter to me was sexual compatibility…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 02:57 PM
22

Eh, I knew what I was doing when I did it. 18 year olds aren’t children, despite what many try to argue. They’re not necessarily fully-formed adults, but they’re not children. Let them make their own choices and mistakes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 02:47 PM
1

I’m in a fairly large Canadian city.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 02:11 PM
1

Idk if I’d consider having kids while still in your 20s “late in life”, personally. That’s more like 30s/40s imo. But I do see how many women like that would be having kids more into their 30s and 40s for sure. And I initially had (but removed) quotes around “reformed” because we actually party with them still 😂 The guys they married are “reformed” party guys too lol. But granted, they obviously have slowed down because of kids. I think it’s just more about shifting priorities/responsibilities t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:42 AM
2

Have you ever tried a steamer? That’s what the use in clothing stores before putting product out. I got a little $30 steamer from Bed Bath and Beyond that changed my life lol. And much faster than an iron!
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/22 04:33 AM
1

Not yet. But I do want them. I guess I just know too many reformed party girls who settled down and had kids in their late 20s to really believe that high-n women are destined to be alone and childless. My boyfriend’s friend group is full of them. Oddly enough though the one friend I have that I know doesn’t want kids at all has only had a few (less than 5) partners. All my other friends want kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:30 AM
1

Can confirm! Edit: your point I mean. Not theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:22 AM
1

Yeah cheating is a no, anything physically/sexually intimate with another woman is a no (i.e. kissing, sitting on laps, etc.) but only if I’m not there or not involved and it also wasn’t agreed upon between my bf and I beforehand. Emotional cheating is also cheating imo, and might even be worse. My bf and I do eventually want to play with others though so obviously within that context the physical stuff is generally all fine with me 🥳 Emotional stuff still no though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:20 AM
1

Don’t forget your safe word
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:16 AM
1

You’re not wrong. The Summer Fresh baba fucken slaps though.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 04:14 AM
2

Man that was actually so endearing 🥺 they seem like they’re just two goofs in love
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:58 AM
2

😂 I love this
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:47 AM
2

What’s your first? Also are you dancing naked around a fire tonight, yes or no?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:46 AM
2

This is what it’s all about. Both partners should have a generosity of spirit towards their other half, and it should be genuine and easy. Sounds like you guys got the good stuff!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:40 AM
6

And a couple who are at a party and the husband is commanding his wife what to do, and she’s listening to him like a dog will get judged, too, because that’s a super unhealthy relationship dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:32 AM
3

Do you have any hobbies, or play any sports? Start by joining a group that relates to your hobbies/interests and start by making friends. Widening your social circle will bring you into contact with more people who may or may not become romantic options. Getting a job will help too - plenty of people become friends with their coworkers over time. There are steps you can take to overcome the isolation and alienation of this society. The first step is reaching out. You got this!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/22 03:23 AM
1

IMO guys fall when they realize you have what they’re looking for, and you make them feel good. Giving a shit about him as a person, listening to him and engaging with what he’s saying, as well as having fun together and enthusiastic sex usually does the trick.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:48 AM
0

Yup! But I put in the work, and I get what I’m looking for. Easy peasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:40 AM
3

Only if she considers it traumatic which not all single mothers do. My cousin just had a kid with his gf - his first, her second. I don’t get what you and some other men thinking a single mother is damaged goods has to do with her having more children in the future though. If she wants more kids, and she’s with a guy who also wants more kids, they’ll have kids. It happens all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:36 AM
5

I mean if you’re looking for women to date in a place where their job is to literally convince you to spend as much money on them as possible via their sexuality I don’t think you can be surprised or upset that you’re not finding “normies”. Good luck with that girl though?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:32 AM
4

single moms […] simply won’t have any more kids Since when? This is a weird generalization lol. I know several couples where they had more kids after getting together
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:26 AM
6

Eh, like all things, it depends. There’s no way I was mature enough for a lifelong commitment at 25. My brother is 24 and him and his girlfriend still stay up all night playing video games and forgetting to take care of the cats…. They def wouldn’t be ready for marriage and a kid right now. It took him like 6 months to a year before they even made it official lol. But I agree somewhat. Intentionally waiting to start vetting for marriage until your late 20s is gonna be a bad time. Vetting should …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:22 AM
3

Well, she didn’t give him a chance. That’s probably why he killed her :/
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:15 AM
2

Where are you finding these vipers? I only know one and she’s pretty clearly toxic lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 04:14 AM
1

I vent to someone I trust. Then I move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:42 AM
2

Which is fucked up because body shaming him takes away from the fact that he murdered a girl. That’s the shit he should be shamed for.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:40 AM
1

Some old couples fuck less. That’s what that means. They’re going at it like rabbits in retirement homes though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:31 AM
2

This seems like the most reasonable take.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:29 AM
1

Terrifying shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:28 AM
2

“Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit, on company time”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:26 AM
3

Nah if you’re in a relationship and you don’t want kids you should BOTH be protecting against that happening. If you’re dead set on not having kids, a vasectomy is a great option. No one needs to take hormones and you can still have sex bareback.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:23 AM
1

Have funnnn! And enjoy your day off tomorrow!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:21 AM
5

Sorry but what the fuck lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/22 03:20 AM
12

I’m not sure if this will be helpful to you, but I’ll share what worked/works for me. I used to carry a lot of anger. The littlest inconveniences would set me off. Self-reflection made me realize that it was because of how I was raised, too. I realized also that I really didn’t like how it felt. Feeling so overwhelmed with anger that I wanted to cry or rage over something (comparatively) minor going wrong in my life felt horrible, and eventually I got to the point where I thought, “I hate how th…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/22 03:05 AM
5

Loneliness is a proven killer for the elderly :( and most people don’t want to die alone. But if you’re happy with where you’re at that’s what matters most. Some people thrive on their own company!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/22 03:45 PM
11

What I did with my bf is make sure we were on the same page about marriage and kids upfront. Once I established that we had the same goals, I was free to be fun and light and carefree because I know we’re both headed in the same direction, on the same timeline. Maybe you could try bringing those things up early on. Not in a “it needs to happen” way, but an “it needs to be on the table” way.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 05:23 AM
1

Maybe she’s just cool with the fact that she knows it’s going to end at some point, but since it hasn’t had to end yet, why end it earlier than it needs to?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 03:41 PM
4

I don’t know. It doesn’t really come up.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:56 AM
3

There are definitely women out there at your age who want relationships. Good luck dude!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:55 AM
1

Yeah that sounds awkward af 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:37 AM
2

How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:36 AM
7

More single people should join co-ed sports. You get to work on your social skills, you get active once or twice a week, and you build a social network of people that puts you into more contact with potential options. There is no downside.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:20 AM
1

So glad to hear that you’ve had some results already! I’m sure you’ll be just fine. Working on your RMV will be a big help as well. Also - love that the sports thing resonated with you. I met my bf on a sports team last summer! There are a bunch of attractive guys in our league, and it’s also a great way to get to know someone better before you start seeing each other. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 03:16 AM
1

LANAAAA Ok but yeah she’s pretty and I like her vibe. Anyone who can hang with the Whose Line Is It Anyway crowd is a person I’d like to be friends with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:11 AM
0

Can you elaborate a bit on what you mean by nuisance?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 03:03 AM
2

I do think it’s good for both parties to go into a marriage with eyes wide open. Yeah, you love the person, but you’re also signing up to be their partner for the rest of your and their life. That shit is a big deal. Which is why my bf and I are on the same page about a pre-nup. We hope never to use it, but it’s best to outline some stuff ahead of the marriage, and hopefully it helps us both to consider the commitment as seriously as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/22 02:50 AM
16

Has he been like this with his mom for the entirety of your relationship? If so, don’t expect him to change. He’s showing you who he is, and you can’t change someone, you can only change yourself. Can you live with that? If nothing changed, could you find a way to be happy? Think through it and you’ll have your answer.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/22 02:24 AM
4

I like this analogy. I feel like relationships are like laying a foundation, so it’s very similar. You have to lay your foundation right to be able to build something strong on top of it. This is also why I feel like it’s important to address things close to when they happen - so you can adjust when new things come up. It’s much easier to adjust right after a new issue arises than weeks after you’ve been in a pattern of dealing with it in a particular way. Thanks for sharing! Also, would this be…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 06:45 PM
2

I’ve read the book too, and I agree with what you say except this - Atwood is selling a story of fear and shouldn’t be given the time of day that she has received. Atwood has done what authors do - told a story. And she has told it so well, that people still talk about it, still fear the society she created, and still feel like it has some relevance to the very real fears that some women have that their bodily autonomy will be taken away some day. Whether those fears have merit or not, whether t…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 06:38 PM
0

You’re the one who responded to my comment about not following accounts that post sexualized content so that you don’t see sexualized content and your response was “That’s not true.” You’re the one who took it away from the initial point about social media by bringing in things that weren’t social media…. Looks like someone forgot the point of the post, and it wasn’t me. Have a nice day!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 06:10 PM
3

The daddy kink was strong
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:49 AM
0

Why in the world would you ever think award shows wouldn’t involve sexualized performances?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 02:49 AM
1

Idk. After I dated a bald guy (granted he was pretty hot) I do notice them while out and about more 👀 My bf is receding a tiny bit at the temples but I think it’s cute honestly lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 10:24 AM
–

I couldn’t do it either. Closest I came was a guy I briefly dated who showered himself and stuff, but had probably one of the grossest bathrooms I had ever seen. And he lived with his parents! (Just for a few months during Covid but still). I slept over a grand total of 3 times before we broke up. First time, I mentioned something. Second time, I didn’t want to nag, but made it clear with body language that I was super uncomfortable, and the third time told him honestly that if he didn’t clean h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 10:17 AM
8

I started dating my boyfriend because he was attractive and I wanted to get to know him better. I started dating those guys for their money and a specific type of kinky sex. That’s more the distinction I meant. Yes, we all want things from our partners. But for the older men, it was more about what they offered than who they were. For anyone I’ve ever dated close to my age, it’s been more about who they were than what they offered. That’s what I mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 04:05 AM
2

Lululemon’s men’s pants make their butts look good too 👀 maybe not quite as much as the women’s, but still lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:58 AM
1

But we get told all the time that men don’t care about a woman’s career lol. But I agree with your comment here. Just saying that plenty of the men here have been routinely saying the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:49 AM
1

How would it fuck up your job options lol?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:43 AM
2

Yep, unfortunately. There are just some things I really enjoy that wouldn’t be possible that way, so it wouldn’t work.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:39 AM
27

Having dated both men closer to my own age, and men with significant age gaps (20+ years), it is really an entirely different dynamic. I wouldn’t say it was about thinking that an older man was “better”, rather I was looking for someone who was already done the majority of their growing so I could learn from them, be treated/taken care of, etc.. I didn’t have to do any work to help them grow, really. I was just along for the ride. I could piggyback off their success, meet them at the finish line…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:30 AM
–

Knowing them, I doubt it. Maybe one downplayed but the other one and myself don’t shy from it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:12 AM
2

That post was lovely to read, thank you for sharing!
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 11:09 PM
1

Okay, and if you didn’t follow accounts that posted that stuff, you wouldn’t see it…. Case in point, everything in your comment was new information to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 11:03 PM
10

a real man will struggle to look past the fact that you have had a divorce “Real” men aren’t a monolith, and divorce isn’t a dealbreaker for all men. OP could still find a decent man after a divorce.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 09:11 PM
13

Some thoughts related to your questions: Don’t lead with your money, and you should be okay. Is your financial success tied to your job? Don’t bring up what you do for work, and keep it short and sweet if a guy asks. You can elaborate later if you need to. Do not lend money to a guy you’re seeing, or purchase big gifts for them, or pay for most of your outings and you should be okay. Dating does take time and effort. You sound like you’re a pretty driven person, so turn some of that drive to you…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 09:08 PM
8

Assume that nothing will change. Some people are just like that lol, like my boyfriend. Would you be happy if things continued like this? I’d guess not. You could try backing off on initiating texts and waiting for him to initiate, but you might fall into the trap where no one texts first and then you guys basically end up mutually ghosting each other. You could also try asking him questions, but some people just don’t like having big convos over text, and if he’s one of those guys, then he prob…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 08:50 PM
1

Ah okay fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 08:10 PM
1

Yeah that’s totally fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 08:10 PM
1

I prefer a partner who is adventurous and open minded in all facets of life. Not excluding sexuality. Totally agree!! It’s much more fun that way. I do see what you mean about the girls settling with guys who are a bit more “boring” though. Not in all cases, but that is generally my experience as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 07:10 PM
1

Oh dang lol. Well hopefully he’s able to find someone who fits his ideal, or he changes his mind…. How old are you guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 07:06 PM
1

Oh dang lol. Well hopefully he’s able to find someone who fits his ideal, or he changes his mind…. How old are you guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 07:06 PM
1

Sounds exactly like our too-picky friend. Which, eh, fair enough 🤷🏼‍♀️ but I do wonder if he’ll find someone who he really clicks with. I hope so.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 06:48 PM
1

I don’t know. Maybe? But they’re all pretty looks matched to me, and and crazy about each other from what I can tell!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 06:44 PM
1

Softball! We met when we played on the same team last year, I think we’re at about 8 months now?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 06:34 PM
2

I really laugh when I see all these posts about “men don’t settle down with high-n women who slept around in their 20s” and then I look around at all of the happy, LTR’d women I know in their late 20s who did just that. Two aren’t doing great, but both of them have made bad choices pretty consistently, so it’s more a reflection of that imo. Meanwhile of my boyfriend’s friends, the guys who slept around are either in shitty relationships where they still cheat or they fight all the time, or they …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 06:30 PM
2

He’s very handy/can fix stuff and knows a lot more about that kind of thing than I do (including exterior maintenance), he’s not afraid of getting his hands dirty or doing hard work, he maintains a beard, he walks on the side closest to traffic when we’re on a busy street (🥺), he swats my ass when I walk by, he does most of the driving, he’s really good at the sport we both play, and he also takes the time to explain/teach me things and something about it really does something for me. He’s also …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:57 PM
2

You can be great in some regards and clueless in others. Lol yep. My brother just started working with this engineer who’s 75, whip-smart, and super knowledgeable and intelligent about his work and related things. Dude can’t figure out a group chat to save his life though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:35 PM
1

Idk, the only one in that lineup of 4 that I wouldn’t be attracted to is the guy in the yellow shirt. The others aren’t that bad looking imo, and if they had good personalities, could even be cute. Based on the little I know about this whole thing though, their personalities probably take them a couple points down instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:15 PM
3

I don’t know if it’s really that different in other avenues. I give money to homeless people when I can, and the amount of times I’ve heard something along the lines of “oh, I would never give them money, they’ll probably use it for drugs!” Like okay well shit, if I lived on the street I’d probably want to get high sometimes too. And of course these are also the same people that don’t donate or do anything else to help. The other issues do have human rights connotations, so it’s common and accep…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 04:58 PM
1

That’s really not that bad imo. Unless your interests are super niche, or your only hobby is 4d chess or painting Warhammer figurines, I think you’ll be fine. Hell, I even know a couple guys who do paint them and they’re married. Also, it might be helpful not to pretend to be someone else, but instead play up different facets of the personality you already have. Authenticity/genuineness is hot!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 04:37 PM
2

My general outlook on life is to be kind and do what I can to help others. When it came to dating, that included giving guys a chance even if I wasn’t sure about them at first (like going on a second date if I was still feeling neutral), letting them down gently if I wasn’t interested, and not ghosting. Now, I try and encourage my boyfriend’s single friends through their romantic lives, my boyfriend and I both pay for things for each other, and we always strive to treat each other well. I’m cert…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 04:32 PM
2

Oh absolutely - it’s a completely fair concern, and I entirely agree with you that you should watch what people do, not just what they say. Anyone can say they’re “over it”, but does their behavior align with that? I also agree that most people don’t give enough thought to their relationships or marriages and how to make them last, or even what making them last means. And that’s where a lot of people fall short - their relationship doesn’t match up to the unrealistic ideal in their head, so it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 03:48 PM
3

Haha, that was my ideal also! But life happens too - so don’t feel bad if you don’t meet that exact timeline.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 03:23 PM
5

I’ve known people that have been cheated on by their “one person” (men and women) because they felt like they “missed out” by spending their younger years with their partner. Unfortunately that’s not a guarantee.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 02:29 PM
0

Right but that’s the thing - there are differing reasons for having had many sexual partners, and you’re right, in your scenario, it’s very hard to believe that someone who chases the rollercoaster will be fine with a stable relationship. And people who expect it to “just happen” or that marriage or further commitment will “fix” relationship issues “and then they’ll finally be happy” - those people are delusional and setting themselves and their relationships up for failure. However, having had …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 02:25 PM
12

Almost this entire sub is people generalizing 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 02:14 PM
6

Seems like society doesn’t have values anymore. People wanting to make different choices than you would make doesn’t mean they don’t have values. They just value different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 07:15 AM
1

Yeah we both really wanted her out at the end haha. She was… a lot. Have you ever hate lusted after someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:49 AM
3

I do see your point - it seems like super toxic “relationship” podcasts/videos/etc. have become more mainstream, and I do think they have in some way, just because of the centralization of the internet. And young people are more likely to be influenced by stuff like that, so they internalize and emulate it more, even if it doesn’t necessarily align with their values. I do think people largely grow out of that kind of thing though, or I would hope so. As I got to my mid/late 20s, I’ve seen this s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:47 AM
1

I feel like if it were legal it would definitely need to be monitored closely by a doctor. But beyond that I don’t see the problem. Why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:36 AM
4

Some think they can get the guy to make them the main, or are believing his promises that he’ll leave his wife someday. Some just want a casual relationship and/or are also seeing other people, so they don’t care. Some are also in relationships and so they just want a side thing that doesn’t take up too much time, or because of the mutually assured destruction angle preventing the AP from blowing up their spot. Some are sugar babies getting paid, so they don’t care. Some are the fucked up kind t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:29 AM
2

Hmmm. Sorta? Long story short, by the end I hated the other girl in the triad so occasionally would fantasize about being extra rough with her. We were in an ongoing sexual relationship though, so I don’t know if that counts. Otherwise, the closest thing is that my boyfriend really annoyed me at first by singling me out to try to teach me things in front of people, but oddly enough I started being more attracted to him after that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:15 AM
3

I think I didn’t even make it that long lol. It just didn’t grab me. What kind of shows do you like?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:09 AM
16

Your social media feeds are a reflection of the content you follow. If you seek out sexualized content, of course that’s all you’re going to see. But there’s so much other stuff out there. This is something highly controllable, and I think the type of people who say shit like “men/bitches ain’t shit” are the same type of people who would be saying shit like “ugh, men” or “ugh, women” with an eyeroll in like the 70s or whatever. The language has changed, but the sentiment is the same. The only pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 05:04 AM
3

It’s completely fine for you to not want porn in your marriage, and it’s a completely fine request to ask your husband to stop watching. It’s absolutely a conversation the two of you should have had before marriage, in terms of each of your expectations around it. However, ultimately, you cannot control him. If he’s still going to watch porn, then you need to figure out how you can change to adjust to the situation. “Doing it yourself” and having to put the work in to satisfy a partner are two d…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/22 04:50 AM
4

A fantasy for some, but not for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 04:19 AM
1

Hey, different strokes for different folks!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 04:17 AM
0

Wait - no titties?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 01:14 AM
2

The world is too big to not see what else is out there!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 01:13 AM
6

Eh, fair enough. How do they respond when they respond awfully? I’ve only really had people react badly to me rejecting them a couple times, generally most guys that I let down were chill about it. Actually a lot of them said they appreciated me letting them know rather than being ghosted lol. I’m kinda surprised that women are shitty about it, but maybe it’s because they’re less used to rejection? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:52 AM
3

How is it a fantasy if it’s a reality for some people?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:18 AM
0

Wait do you ghost them or do you tell them that you don’t think it’s going to work out? Disqualifying someone is fine, that doesn’t make you a douche lol. Ghosting would though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:17 AM
6

Desirable partners don’t just drop into your lap. You still have to do something that puts you in contact with other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:15 AM
1

How nerdy are we talking here? People don’t have to share all their hobbies with their partner - I can’t see why you wouldn’t be able to do those hobbies and find someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/22 12:14 AM
3

“Depression in women is at an all time high”, what’s the source for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/22 03:42 AM
2

It’s happened to me too. Very weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:49 AM
1

Hahah fair enough. Me too 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:29 AM
3

Right? How could Athelstan say no??
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 02:29 AM
1

Ragnar’s son with Lagertha
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 01:31 AM
1

Yeah I can see that. I guess no one is really immune to the power of money lol. I’d say there’s also a difference between billionaires (“eat the rich”) and like, average finance bro money, which isn’t much in comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:49 AM
1

Eh, fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:43 AM
3

Well, I don’t know. I think it might be closer to your last point. I have definitely felt that too, where the vanilla stuff is good enough that you kinda let the kinky stuff back off a bit. Plus many kinks take more work - whereas a quickie would still scratch the itch. But also - if they did play along to do the freaky shit even if they didn’t want to, wouldn’t that mean they were attracted to you enough to do it for you anyway? Whereas if they weren’t as attracted then they wouldn’t have done …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:43 AM
10

I’ve had both FWBs and one night stands and honestly, it usually boiled down to: I wanted to and he was there/we had chemistry. Usually I was drunk. Or we both had the same kinks so we wanted to play with that. Those ones I was generally sober for lol. I usually got more into this phase after a more serious relationship ended. The answer to question two for me was alcohol. If I was sober I cared about making sure I’d like to hang out with the person, even if it was gonna be a straight up hookup.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:36 AM
0

Yeah sorry that’s what I meant lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:29 AM
1

I mean. In my experience it’s actually been the opposite - conservative/right wing women are more likely to seek out a guy with money to live their tradcon SAHM fantasies, liberal/left wing women are more likely to not care and to want/be okay with 50/50. Maybe liberal women are more likely to do sugaring or age gap relationships, which is usually with a more wealthy older guy? Or they’re more open about “getting their bag” so to speak, so they seem like they’re doing it more? All the RP/feminin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/22 12:06 AM
1

I’m not sure I agree. Hair has a huge impact on how someone is perceived overall, man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:59 PM
5

It looks like the photos of dudes thread was nuked so I just wanna drop this here that Ragnar Lothbrok in seasons 1 and 2 of Vikings is like…. The hottest thing ever imo. The actor is looking kinda scraggly now on Raised By Wolves, but still has that dang charisma. And those eyes!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:52 PM
3

I really don’t get women like this honestly. Like… the person you’re in a relationship with is supposed to be the person you can try out and continue doing all the freaky shit with. Not taking advantage of that to do freaky shit feels like a waste lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:18 PM
1

And way less effort lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:14 PM
1

Men have hairstyles too though
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:14 PM
1

Like the dating rich guys thing or the 6 figures thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 11:04 PM
6

So wait, any woman who loved someone before can never be in a relationship again, because he wouldn’t be her “first choice”? That’s stupid lmao. I see my average girl friends and my average guy friends all over their partners… they’re plenty attracted. So “modern women are not attracted to average men” is patently false. But that wouldn’t fit into your victimhood narrative, so I guess you’ll ignore it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 10:27 PM
3

That’s awesome!! I hope it goes well. That’s the kind of thing you’ll be able to enjoy for years and years.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 10:24 PM
2

Women put up with abuse from ugly dudes, too. Plus it’s not like they start off by abusing them - it’s usually a frog boil situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:22 PM
3

Oh that sounds fun! How does building trails work? Just like removing trees/branches/brush?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:21 PM
9

Men aren’t menu items. “Oh the tall guy is out of stock? I guess I’ll take a short one instead.” Choosing to be in a relationship with someone is making that person your choice. That’s the only choice that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 07:17 PM
1

Was just curious where the line was lol. So I guess my boyfriend qualifies, but considering he’s got 4 years of experience on me and we’re only $20k apart, I don’t think that’s really too crazy. His type of work just pays more per hour in general. But yeah, 6 figures used to feel like a lot more money than it does now!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:56 PM
1

When you say facial hair, do you mean noticeable facial hair, or actual facial hair? Cause all women have peach fuzz on their faces, but not all women have noticeable facial hair (as in dark enough to tell that it’s there).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:51 PM
1

I still don’t see what’s wrong with it honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:48 PM
1

Her comment is the difference between romantic and platonic relationship. What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:47 PM
1

Does low 6 figures even count as “rich” anymore?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:38 PM
1

That is… incredibly infuriating. Wish there was an update!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:32 PM
1

Might be worth trying to examine why that is
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 06:18 PM
2

Nah I’m team “neither of us post anything on social media.”
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/22 05:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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