Hello everyone :)

I know this is a little long, I’ll include a TL;DR at the end.

Just a very short backstory so you guys don’t roast the crap out of me haha - I got out of an abusive 6 year relationship a year and a half ago. He was my high school boyfriend, now im 23. I feel emotionally stunted when it comes to dating, since the last time I dated someone I was an immature 16 year old who wanted to text all day, and i’m still learning what the adult dating world is like.

that being said, I’ve been chatting with this guy. He is studying to be a doctor, he loves his family, he is nothing but respectful to me. I really get high value vibes from him. I’m definitely interested in getting to know him better, but i’m having a hard time reading him/responding accordingly, which i think is my past bad habits talking to me.

I don’t really care to text people, and I know that when getting to know someone romantically, you should save the conversations for when you’re on a date. However, we haven’t been able to go out on a date yet, and he told me from the beginning that he doesnt feel comfortable meeting with anyone until he gets the vaccine, since he works in the medical field (in office management-not a doctor yet) and both of his parents are surgeons. he has mentioned a lot of times that he is looking forward to meeting, and he’s hoping before the end of January. Usually I’d call bs, but it seems like a legitimate excuse.

anyways! we would text every 3 days or so, pretty much taking turns starting the conversation and we’d talk throughout the day. then, one day i accidentally left him hanging since I’d gotten busy, and we ended up not talking for two weeks because neither of us reached out. I didn’t really care, because I know we’re both busy people and im not desperate. I thought about him the other day, so I decided to make the first move again to see if he was still interested. He definitely seemed to be, we talked all night and he was being very appropriately flirty. It felt very natural, neither one of us said anything about the silence. He texted me merry Christmas, and I responded the next morning (he knows I go to bed and wake up super early so this is normal), he responded that afternoon and then hasn’t said anything since (it’s been a full day). This is kinda unusual, since typically our conversations would end with us saying goodnight.

I’ve had a rough time during the holidays, and I can feel myself starting to slip into my old, overthinking mindset so i’m keeping myself busy to stop that before it happens. But my question is, what’s an appropriate texting pattern as a high value adult? Personally, I’m okay with how often we talk, it’s actually really attractive to me that neither one of us are waiting around for a text and we just talk when we can (excluding me right this moment lol). But i’m wondering if maybe i’m just accepting the bare minimum, ignoring red flags, and lying to myself? or could I just be confused because im used to talking to men who want to text everyday about nothing? My gut tells me that he’s a good guy, but my anxiety/insecurity is telling me he’s keeping me on the back burner. I need to shut that voice up!

TL;DR: i’m talking to a man that is seemingly high value so far, but i’m unsure if i’m accidentally ignoring red flags. What’s a healthy amount of texting/length of time without a reply for adults getting to know each other, keeping the current state of the world in mind?