Lack of physical relationship, but the rest is great- is he really just not that into me?

Sea_Soil · 2020-11-25T18:45:46+00:00

How long have you been dating and how long have you been exclusive? Does he want to have sex with you?

Is it possible that he is asexual or has a really low libido? It's also possible that he could have a micropenis or some form of ED and not want to have sex for that reason.

If he is not emotionally ready, then maybe he is not emotionally ready to be in an exclusive relationship. He sounds hung up on his ex. If he has trauma, he should work it out with a therapist before entering into another relationship and making you pay for it (which you already are, but not having the physicality you're desiring).

I agree with the other comment. I wouldn't be so quick to jump into an exclusive relationship with this guy. He's not ready.

On a sidenote:

We developed romantic feelings while we were still in relationships with other people and had a platonic but caring relationship that we jokingly referred to as "friends with no benefits".

That just sounds like an emotional affair. I don't think a HV person would do that. Even if he was in an emotionally abusive relationship, cheating is cheating.

Summerisle7 · 2020-11-25T19:47:00+00:00

Please don't call this guy a HVM, you can't possibly know that about him yet. I agree with SeaSoil that he sounds not over his ex at all. Is he legally divorced yet? Are you?

I would take his claims of his ex being "emotionally abusive" with an extreme grain of salt. You don't know her side of the story. I mean he was basically having an emotional affair with you, while still with her, that would make most women salty.

Please date other people and see how it goes with this guy. Be careful with him especially when it comes to your child. Consider spending some time with a therapist. Leaving an abusive marriage is not a simple matter and rushing into a new relationship is not the best way to heal. Edit: And your child might benefit from therapy as well. If your child lived in an abusive home, that was child abuse and your child needs to heal as well.

Please read the FDS Handbook.

mademoiselle29 · 2020-11-25T02:00:31+00:00

To me, a quality person doesnt allude to being a partner without benefits. Also, I fully respect him not being ready to have sex (that's great!) but I do worry for you. Are you willing to date others? I suggest you do. No man is worth waiting for, not 100%. I have had to learn it the hard way. I'm one of the most loyal girls out there. I've never cheated, even in minor ways. But the truth is, most people do "cheat" in some way. You have to make sure you aren't a placeholder. Be upfront about what you want. If he can't be ready to date you the way you want, be forthcoming about you being able to date... or at least DO date others. That is the world we live in. Most men are sociopathic enough to date as they want. Take note. Protect yourself.

P.s. I've never had a guy reject me for sex ever. Guys generally chase me hhhhhhaaaard. I've only had 1 sexual partner before. No one ever knew I was a virgin. Men - including the "religious" (lmaooooooo they no longer exist in 2020, not really... they're mostly hypocritical/hiding it or lying) want sex. So I do find it weird when a guy doesnt even subtly allude to it. I wish our world was one wherein sex was valued, but it isnt. And most men suck.

Title	Lack of physical relationship, but the rest is great- is he really just not that into me?
Author	freerollerskates
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	November 24, 2020 12:49 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/jzumyc/lack_of_physical_relationship_but_the_rest_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/lack-of-physical-relationship-but-the-rest-is.1068029 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068029

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