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Sea_Soil Archive

View 2 posts and 623 comments by Sea_Soil on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
57

FDS ANTHEM 🎶Sea_Soil/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:27 PM
15

FDS ANTHEM 🎶Sea_Soil/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 10:28 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
39

Unfortunately this is why I mostly avoid eye contact with men. They all seem to take it as an invitation to hit on me. I don't know when literally just looking at someone turned into "I want you to fuck me" but here we are 🤷🏽‍♀️ It also just makes me sad that it seems impossible for men to interact with women without the ulterior motive of sex/romance. Why can't we just be friends man. I'm bi and even with other wlw there's never this automatic ulterior motive we can literally just treat each ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:42 PM
5

Good luck! Best wishes to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:20 PM
2

Ah, that makes sense. The way you mentioned "limp dick issues" made it sound like a recurring problem. Not getting an erection one time is pretty normal and could just be caused by stress, lack of sleep etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:15 PM
13

Girl why are you even dating a man who doesn't get rock hard at the sight of you? my partner gets a boner from a simple kiss and I wouldn't ever except any less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:02 PM
34

This man doesn't love you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:04 AM
35

Any man you have to work to "keep" is not worth having. Contrary to popular belief you can literally just be with someone who actually wants to be with you lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 11:59 PM
11

There are meditations online if you go on YouTube and search guided meditation to break a soul tie. If you're a spiritual person than this might be helpful for you. Otherwise, therapy is also a great way to process and let go.
/r/askFDS22/08/21 01:59 AM
261

Thank you for standing up for yourself and all other women in the process! I dumped my ex for the same thing. Now I'm dating someone who doesn't watch porn and told me it does absolutely nothing for them. I didn't have to ask them not to. Why? Because they are actually into me. They only fantasize about me. I'm more than enough and it makes me feel so incredibly safe and loved. That is how it should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:03 PM
23

If you have to ask if it's inappropriate, it is. Your alarm bells are going off so much so that you needed to come here and post about it. Drop him. A healthy person won't make you feel this way.
/r/askFDS16/08/21 02:08 AM
10

I really hate how pick up artist culture preys on men on the autism spectrum. Like, none of this is normal at all. this isn't how nuerotypical people even think about socializing with other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 07:28 PM
43

He's not your friend and he never was.
/r/askFDS30/07/21 08:57 PM
22

Good call making other plans. If he really wanted to go to dinner with you and recognized what a valuable opportunity it was he would have solidified plans by now. He's lazy af.
/r/askFDS20/07/21 06:39 PM
54

He'd have to be dumb to not realize thats an invitation for sex. I think if someone genuinely respected you and wanted to get to know you, they wouldn't put you in that position, especially on a first date.
/r/askFDS17/07/21 04:54 PM
132

Anyone who think that being hot automatically protects you from being treated like dirt by men really under estimates the audacity of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 04:15 PM
5

Is it being in a relationship that makes you feel that way, or limerence? Do you still feel this way after the honeymoon phase ends? If not, you could have a love addiction. It might not be that you are only happy in a relationship, but that you're literally high on nuerochemicals. Of course everything feels better when you're high.
/r/askFDS10/07/21 11:02 PM
79

This. Men that think like this will never be satisfied no matter who it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:43 PM
97

Same. I'm a mixed girl with the naturally "exotic" features that now suddenly every white girl is getting plastic surgery to achieve. All the dudes that used to call me fat suddenly want a "thicc" girl. It's so bizzare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:39 PM
14

I walked in on my porn addicted ex with dried up jizz napkins all over and jizz on his pants (the results of a disgusting porn binge 🤢) and he lied to my face that they weren't there while I was literally holding them in my hand. He tried to convince me I was hallucinating! That was the final straw to get me to leave him, I'm so unbelievably happy I did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 05:08 PM
200

boyfriend of SEVEN years
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 04:24 PM
69

Leave him now. This is a massive red flag. Not only is it an objectifying and misogynistic way to regard women, but it's extremely disrespectful to you. Often times they even do it on purpose as a form of negging, knocking down your self esteem so they can more easily manipulate and abuse you. Also, if you aren't exclusive yet I really hope by "watching movies" you don't mean you're going over to his house to Netflix and chill..... that's not going to benefit you at all. Your giving a man boyfri…
/r/askFDS03/07/21 11:55 PM
65

Don't forget: not caring enough about their partner being satisfied
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 11:47 PM
125

My man gets hard just from the thought of getting a blowjob from me. If a man came to me flaccid then he ain't the one for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 11:47 PM
6

Men are so delusional when it comes to fantasizing about being single. My ex did this. I dumped him and guess what? 5 months later he's miserably single and regretting everything. He can't even get a girl to text him back reliably and keeps getting ghosted. Hasn't landed a SINGLE date. Meanwhile I immediately met someone and am the happiest I've ever been. LVM think they are prizes and it just doesn't work that way. They overestimate the demand for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 03:28 AM
8

Same! I'm turning 27 this year and everyone I meet thinks I'm 18/19. I'm also in the best shape of my life, and the same weight I was as a freshman in highschool. I've loved how my body looks as it matures, invest in yourselves and it pays off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 01:30 AM
6

Yep. Instead of "let me level up and appreciate what I have" it was "let me tear her down to my level so we're both miserable". Now he's alone and I'm happily with the love of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 07:06 PM
24

If I'm understanding correctly, you've just matched with this man, you haven't gone on a date yet? If so, you owe him no explanation. In fact, it's not good to "show your cards". Just stop texting him back so much. Only text back when you really want to. Don't bother to explain yourself with words so much, sometimes just doing what you want to do works best. When you set a boundary you don't always have to say, "I'm setting a boundary". A boundary is something you just have, it's valid even if y…
/r/askFDS18/06/21 06:13 AM
25

Very well said! 👏🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 10:27 PM
150

My abusive ex admitted after the end of the relationship that he treated me that way because I was out of his league and he didn't want me to think I could just leave and find someone better. Instead, he destroyed my self-esteem and gaslighted me into feeling absolutely worthless, so I wouldn't leave, while he cheated on me to make himself feel better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:59 PM
46

The vast majority of men are not capable of having female friends. They would all have sex with you if the opportunity arose.
/r/askFDS16/06/21 06:54 PM
84

Exactly. There's a reason men don't walk down the streets and fear getting mugged at gunpoint or knifepoint by a woman. I've never known a man to feel truly threatened by a woman in any way shape or form in my personal experience and of all the men I've known in my life. edit: to be clear I'm talking about adult men, not children
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 07:20 PM
7

Im sorry to say that it's called a waffle stomp.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:04 PM
8

That's a proposal. There's a difference between marriage and a proposal. Engagements usually last at least a year. You can also reject the first proposal if you need more time. That's also only IF you even want to get married. Marriage is not the goal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 04:01 AM
8

Edges is AAVE. It's the baby hairs. The edge of your hairline.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:42 AM
20

Giving birth "on a table" in general is barbaric. If I do ever give birth, it's going to be a natural birth at home or a nice birthing center where I can squat and move around like we have evolved to. Not lay on a table because of some 17th century doctor's antiquated preference It's not the norm in many non-western cultures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 03:40 AM
9

No. They don't care. Just block and move on. Seriously, the best message you can send is your silence. Men dont respond to words they respond to actions I'd you feel the need to get this out, keep journaling and write these letters. But don't send them. Just use them as a way to get your feelings out. Post to unsentletters or offmychest if you want it to be seen.
/r/askFDS10/06/21 12:44 AM
1

Good point!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:49 PM
6

Right. It makes me think of 50s housewives and how they were expected to be perfect hosts and entertain guests at dinner parties and things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 05:02 PM
117

My friend just got dumped by her now exboyfriend as he was starting med school because he thought she wasn't good enough to be a doctor's wife. He said she had the looks but wasn't charismatic and social enough. Keep in mind this dude is extremely nerdy looking and not at all a charmer. It was eye opening to me that people really do become doctors just for the status.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 02:18 AM
10

Check out the "Am I A Lesbian" masterdoc
/r/askFDS04/06/21 08:40 PM
19

You can't get dumped by someone you're not in a relationship with.
/r/askFDS02/06/21 04:34 PM
61

This is where the dumbfox strategy comes in handy. Instead of explaining yourself, let men show you who they are. There's no need to tell them that you're waiting until marriage (at least not until a deeper commitment is established, like engagement), just don't have sex with them and see how they react. If he's respectful of your boundaries than it shouldn't be an issue. I don't think it's dishonest not to tell them, I mean is anyone owed an exact time or date when you have sex with them? Fds a…
/r/askFDS01/06/21 10:00 PM
142

= "you're not doing what I want you to"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:01 PM
33

In my experience with men, porn addicts take too long to cum or can't. Sometimes they can't even get hard. Whereas premature ejaculation is more from inexperience, or going a long time without having sex or masturbating (which increases sensitivity). But that's only been my experience. What's weird to me is that he just walked out like that. I get being embarrassed but he's grown and should be able to communicate about these things. Sounds like he will probably be a bad lover.
/r/askFDS24/05/21 12:43 AM
14

Yep. Many women fake orgasms because they don't want to hurt his ego, or worse, they fear his reactions (we all know men can react violently at the smallest hit on their ego). But all it does is make then falsely confident in their sexual abilities and therefore worse sexual partners, because what they do doesn't actually work. Look him in the eye and say, "you didn't make me come" or "that's not working for me, lets try something else". Be confident ya'll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 03:54 PM
143

Because they all fake it. I've never faked an orgasm in my life and as a result? I got great, satisfying sex because they all learned what actually makes me feel good. STOP FAKING ORGASMS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/21 02:14 AM
-2

This sounds pretty desperate.
/r/askFDS18/05/21 02:41 PM
5

If this is actually a maya angelou quote, does anyone know what book it's from?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 02:22 PM
6

I personally have never been able, in my entire adult life, to have a genuine friendship with a man without him developing feelings or attraction to me. It's just never happened, and I've tried lots of friendships with all different types of men. I always inevitably find out their into me, based on something they say or do that gives it away. I'm sad, but that's how it's been. The only time it worked was when I was a kid. Many of them are respectful about it and would NEVER make a move, but it j…
/r/askFDS13/05/21 06:02 AM
17

Right?? Even when I was single I was doing great and loving my life. Our lives are so much more than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 09:17 PM
17

I didn't read the article but as a bi woman I'm honestly so glad I do have a choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 07:08 PM
60

I find it interesting when I get DMs from guys saying I'm past 30 so no one will want me and I will die alone and "this is why you are single" type of stuff because .... I'm 26 and happily in a long term relationship. Lol many women in this sub are not single. They say what they think will hurt us, as if getting a man is the goal. Mine is just to be happy! I'm here to glow up and support other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 06:49 PM
16

Why do you care? Just walk away. This is so not worth the mental energy lol
/r/askFDS12/05/21 06:32 PM
3

I don't think it's automatically a red flag, it depends on a lot. My ex did this with my boobs and butt just CONSTANTLY groping me and slapping my ass. He ended up being a porn addict, misogynistic brain damaged creep who literally only saw women as sexual object to be used. Now I date someone who is respectful of my body and pays attention to the signals I send, asks for consent, etc. I feel much more like a person and not a sex doll.
/r/askFDS11/05/21 09:50 PM
19

Having healthy relationships with friends and family is a green flag. Not having deep bonds can be a sign of instability in relationships if they've been constantly cycling people in and out of their lives. Additionally, when people go through trauma, and don't process it or cope in a healthy way (therapy) it more often than not will leave them with unhealthy and maladaptive behaviors. So be careful if you're specifically looking for people who have "been through something". I don't think it's f…
/r/askFDS06/05/21 06:18 PM
49

Yikes. Yeah let's not glorify binge eating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 04:40 PM
35

Leave him. Don't mess around with addicts, ever. Including porn addicts. It literally damages their brain. They are too far gone.
/r/askFDS04/05/21 02:56 PM
9

Wow. He sounds controlling and pushy. He could have worded that in a much more considerate way, one that respected your boundaries and gave you the chance to express when you were comfortable to meet. But nah he had to go the gross weirdo route and treat you like you're beneath him.
/r/askFDS04/05/21 02:53 PM
18

Can you report him to someone? CPS?
/r/askFDS30/04/21 02:35 PM
13

I'm straight edge, and there are plenty of people out there who don't drink. I choose to also date people who don't drink and I haven't had an trouble doing that. You might find it useful to just filter out people who drink right off the bat.
/r/askFDS21/04/21 06:39 AM
147

Agreed. It may not be the same for all WOC, but as a black woman (I'm mixed but let's be real the world sees me as black) I have never been treated as poorly, by any man, as I have by black men. They treat me like a piece of fucking meat and it disgusts me. All of the white men I've dated actually make me feel like a person. Black men seem to take their internalized racism out on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 09:22 PM
20

I've totally be there with an abusive stalkery ex. Hmm, I wonder if there is some kind of plug in or program you can download that can automatically transfer all your likes and playlists to a new account or different software. If not, if all of your stuff is private then does that mean he can't see any of it?
/r/askFDS17/04/21 03:18 PM
40

Wow. He still only cares how the women benefit him and what he can get out of the relationship. It scares me how self-centered and narcissistic so many men are. the lack of empathy is genuinely terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 02:22 PM
20

I think it's a red flag that he still has pictures with other girls up. After a break up, I remove those pictures from my social media.
/r/askFDS16/04/21 02:02 PM
4

You don't. He should be the first one to bring it up. Just like with the "what are we" talk, it's a bad sign if you have to be the first one to talk about it. Men pursue. He will bring it up if/when he wants to marry you.
/r/askFDS16/04/21 12:59 PM
14

Your attention is enough.
/r/askFDS09/04/21 07:01 PM
68

No, it's not normal. Its abusive behavior. They know what they are doing. Usually it's A. You are actually their type, but they think you are out of their league and are insecure so they try to tear down your self esteem so you don't realize you could do better and eventually leave them. or B. you aren't their type and they feel entitled to it, or resent YOU for the fact that they can't get with a girl they think is their type (which is their fault not yours), so they abuse you until you change …
/r/askFDS08/04/21 04:56 PM
15

My toxic ex had untreated OCD as well and it was so so draining on me. He controlled every aspect of our life to the point where I felt like he was a parent and I was the child. Similarly to your daughter, I wasn't allowed to do things (couldn't close doors, have guests over, open certain windows lest something come in and contaminated the apartment, couldn't take the rugs out to shake them out, couldn't clean his things/room, etc) I didn't realize just how much it was affecting me psychological…
/r/askFDS06/04/21 05:25 PM
8

Positive affirmations really help me. The brain is plastic and you can literally rewire those neurons that lead to negative thoughts into positive ones. Checkout positive affirmation videos on youtube, and let them become your new mantra!
/r/askFDS06/04/21 01:23 AM
11

Yeah, completely agree. it's the madonna-whore complex. Men who view women this way are inherantly misogynistic and would make terrible partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 01:14 AM
18

Personally, I don't hug or touch any dates on the first date and they stay interested. If they ask for a hug I'll give them one breif hug, but I've never initiated. I've even gone three-four dates without ever touching them and somehow it keeps them really interested (they keep wanting to spend more and more time with me). 🤷🏽‍♀️ Usually goes like this: I just say "thank you, I had a great time." then they'll say the same, we might talk a bit about what we are planning to do next time we see each…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 01:12 AM
8

Trust me. I went through the same thing with my ex and took one for the team. Nothing changed. He went to therapy a few times, quit, and kept being toxic. In fact, the abuse got much worse as the relationship went on until I eventually broke up with him, for good this time. If he wanted to, he would have. If he REALLY cared, he would have done what he needed to do WHILE you were together, no excuses. Keep doing your own thing and investing in your own life! I'm so proud of you for doing so and I…
/r/askFDS06/04/21 12:49 AM
3

Definitely tell her. This is cheating but odds are he has slept with other women and could out her at risk of STDs (some which cause infertility, cancer or death).
/r/askFDS02/04/21 08:41 PM
22

Basically nothing is shallow. I really think that word is just thrown around in dating to standard shame people (mostly women). You are allowed to have preferences, standards, and date the people you want to date. Any reason is valid enough. If you don't want to date somebody, you don't have to. Period. No one is entitled to you, your partnership, or your body. Your only obligation is to yourself and your own happiness.
/r/askFDS01/04/21 06:32 PM
20

Why not post in the main sub? I believe this sub is meant for question and answer.
/r/askFDS31/03/21 06:50 PM
13

What's your question?
/r/askFDS31/03/21 06:05 PM
20

Why do ya'll let these men procreate
/r/askFDS30/03/21 03:54 PM
240

I don't like it when people say that you are "making" them wait for sex. Like, you can either respect my boundaries or move on. I'm not "making" you do anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 04:38 PM
14

Why are dudes like this so obsessed with sex. Like, making posts like this, you can tell that the desire consumes them. It's like his sole reason for living is to bang 20 year olds. Wtf?? Like it's the only thing that gives his life meaning. Just sad. Get a life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 03:09 AM
1

Yeah! I'm not super familiar with SheraSeven1 myself, but just used her as an example. It's always take what is relevant to you and apply it to your life, without necessarily blinding following everything they teach. It's okay to disagree!
/r/askFDS09/03/21 10:09 PM
84

He's "down". He doesn't even WANT to, he's just "down". Lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 08:35 PM
2

Yep. You often hear that terminology in the case of men who have never been in a relationship. They say, "I've never had a girlfriend and I want to get one". Just replace girlfriend with dog, or iphone, or pair of jordans. It's pretty clear they don't think they are talking about a human being. A healthier way to say it would be "I'm ready to meet someone special, and find someone I'm compatible with. I know relationships can be hard work, but I'm in a healthy place and ready for commitment." Bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 06:31 PM
6

I would start with trying to meet people and make new friends through mutual hobbies, and filtering until you find people with the same values. I've made friends, who are.comoletely unaware of FDS, but practice those same principles in their dating life. My friends are who I talk to, other HVW with experience. It can also be nice if you have a mentor in your career or field of work to talk to :) Another option: Sheraseven1 on youtube (FDS approved youtuber) often does livestream where you could …
/r/askFDS09/03/21 04:33 PM
29

This is why it's a red flag when men say they want to "get a girlfriend" because it always sounds like they want to "get a dog". Like women are accessories. They don't say they want to "fall in love" they say they want to "get one" like it's something you can just roll up to the store and purchase. Objectifying and dehumanizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:10 PM
2

r/femalelevelupstrategy will have some relevant posts for you. Just use the search bar :) I'm pretty sure I've seen this discussion come up a few times there.
/r/askFDS08/03/21 11:35 PM
22

They don't want to date women but they still need sex from somewhere! How else are they going to get it? /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 08:55 PM
21

Its the madonna-wh*** complex in which men only see women as one or the other. They will sleep with and lust after sexual women but never respect them as "wife material". To them, women are only one or the other. Its a false dichotomy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 03:25 AM
74

Don't "play" hard to get. When you are a HVW, you ARE hard to get. Period. You know your worth, so not just any schmuck can be with you.
/r/askFDS04/03/21 07:13 PM
12

Seriously. Drop this dude. He's worthless to you.
/r/askFDS04/03/21 05:06 PM
18

THANK YOU. So many of these questions can be answered by reading the handbook, it's an amazing resource.
/r/askFDS03/03/21 08:34 PM
35

Men who act like this are giving themselves away. He was fuming because if HE was doing what your friends little bro was (putting his hand on a woman's shoulder for a pic) it would have ulterior motives, or he'd be getting off on it. That's why he reacted that way. He assumed that poor kid had the same skeevy mind. Kind of like how cheaters often have trust issues; it's projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:39 AM
51

Me: I feel like I'm not being heard or taken seriously Him: you just feel that way. Its not what's actually happening. You're wrong. Wow, why didn't I think of that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 06:02 PM
1

Do you have a higher up you could contact as well? I think this should definitely be reported, so if they have a boss, consider letting them know too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 12:14 AM
4

FYI this was already posted a few days ago
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:39 AM
17

LITTERING?! Are you kidding me?! This is an adult man, right? I wouldn't even be friends with someone that litters he is extremely LV.
/r/askFDS27/02/21 03:24 AM
34

They weren't married though? Its possible he will lovebomb until marriage or kids, when she is really "locked down" and can't leave so easily.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 06:10 PM
118

The answer to your question: NO. These are some pretty big narcissist red flags. I think he IS lovebombing, how long is he actually with these people? Narcissists will lovebomb as long as they need to. What people post on social media is rarely real. If it was real, why bother posting it on social media? Its just for clout and validation and to make him feel better about himself.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 05:58 PM
29

Please leave this man. He doesn't respect you! He is already controlling and manipulative and his insecurity will only escalate from here.
/r/askFDS25/02/21 12:07 AM
34

It's a no from me, dawg. Guys with premature ejaculation issues are so unsatisfying. Some will say, "well they can do oral or use fingers etc" but some of us just prefer penetration and those things can't compare. Not doing it in a while really isn't an excuse either imo. They need to strengthen their pelvic floor or learn how to hold it. If my bf and I go a while without having sex, he will be super sensitive but he still lasts until after I have an orgasm because he actually cares about my ple…
/r/askFDS24/02/21 08:58 PM
5

Yep, that's what my ex did. He used their completely innocent normal pictures as if they were porn. Absolutely disgusting and violating.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 05:51 PM
54

Are you sleeping together? If you are, he probably won't commit. He doesn't need to. In the future, don't be the first one to bring up becoming exclusive. He will do it if he really wants to. The ball should always be in YOUR court if you are really being treated like a prize. If you get to the point where you are ready for commitment and he's not, move on or just keep dating other men.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 05:30 AM
24

It depends who the women are, friends and family would obviously make sense. But I had an ex who did this with women coworkers, classmates and old crushes. He eventually admitted that he was masturbating to their photos and fantasizing about them. Its a dealbreaker for me now.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 05:23 AM
8

I don't have a link to the exact study, sorry, but I heard about it from the book "Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others" . here's the outline with all of the other statistics.
/r/askFDS23/02/21 01:26 AM
21

From an outsiders perspective I think it's pretty clear he doesn't want to marry you. If he wanted to, he would. Studies also show that after 22 months of being together, your chances of him proposing drop. Every year after that it continues to lower, and once you hit 7 years, your chances are virtually zero. edit to include correct timing*
/r/askFDS22/02/21 10:03 PM
24

Teaching him how to do laundry, clean, or cook. Teaching him how to properly dress and put together a nice looking outfit. Teaching him how to have a skincare routine, that he needs to wear sunscreen so he won't age like a raisin, and to stop using 3 in 1 shampoo products. Always planning everything because he doesn't know how or "isn't a planner". Being his therapist. Finding a job for him, fixing up his resume etc. Teaching him time management skills.
/r/askFDS22/02/21 05:10 AM
103

Yes to this but people do workout for reasons other than their physical appearence. I use workout gear to be healthy and live a long happy life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 04:54 AM
11

He could literally just get an Uber or take the bus. It sounds like he's just using you for something to do. I bet you he's going to try to hookup, too.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 11:28 PM
46

Lol exactly. Men think it will "knock us down" to imply we are fat but if you so much as HINT at a man having something wrong with his penis, you can destroy him forever. And that's not something they can change. 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 10:57 PM
13

Its a big red flag. Think about it, HV people don't keep LV company, of any kind.
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:47 PM
30

Usually it's because that's what you're used to. Did your parents ignore you a lot growing up? Were they cold and distant? It can also be due to self esteem, if you have a low self esteem you don't feel worthy of being truly valued and wanted so it's uncomfortable or always feels fake. Its more comfortable to have that distance, I know, I used to struggle with this too. It felt SO bizarre and surreal to have someone actually love me and want me, I would think, "Why me when there are so many bett…
/r/askFDS19/02/21 10:33 PM
9

Sadly, they did not. They actually live together now. He seems really insecure because apparently he tried to break up with her before he went on a long trip not long after that incident, and said it was because he knew how attractive she was and that she would find someone else while he was gone (and she looks like a supermodel she could literally have anyone she wants). She told me the whole thing. Other than the fact that he has a lot of money (owns a successful business) I don't know why she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:17 PM
111

I still remember when my roommate (who's legitimately one of the most stunningly beautiful women I've ever seen in the entire world) had a facetime call with her new boyfriend of a few months to meet his friends and he literally was just showing her off and talking to his friends the whole call, objectifying her, they were doing it back and forth like she wasn't even on the call. They talked about her like they were talking about his new car "Oh wow, these seats are so nice" "yeah and they heat …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:07 AM
15

This comment struck me, not only because I too saw Midsommar in the midst of a relationship much like the one in the film, but because of your prose. You are a talented writer! Very well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 03:19 AM
30

Why do you think you need a man to have an orgasm? Get a vibrator, trust me, it will be a lot less disappointing. You don't need a man to experience pleasure or sexuality. It's your body.
/r/askFDS13/02/21 01:00 AM
21

He literally just wants to use you for sex and it's very obvious. He's only crying because his other attempts at manipulation didn't work. Block and delete. Stop letting him contact you because you said it yourself, it's draining. He doesn't deserve your time, attention or energy because he is an emotionally abusive, manipulative scumbag. You deserve someone who values you. Please read the handbook and I highly suggest the book "Why Does He Do that?" By Bundy Lancroft.
/r/askFDS11/02/21 10:28 PM
10

I knew what was up as soon as I read "snapchat". A committed man does not have 7 girls he regularly snaps. Also, reading your responses I think you've been gaslighted by this guy. Your usage of the term "crazy" in your post also hints to that. It's the quintessential gaslighting term men use to control us. It's not crazy for you to feel uncomfortable in this situation. It's not crazy to have boundaries. If these girls are sliding into his DMs like he claims, then he doesn't value the relationshi…
/r/askFDS10/02/21 04:46 PM
5

so I empathise with him and respect that he has difficulties due to trauma and this is why I’ve allowed this behaviour. That's called "enabling". It is not healthy or helpful for you OR him. Please listen to the advise you've gotten and remove this person from your life. I am speaking from first hand experience as someone who was in a relationship like this for YEARS and it almost killed me. If you think you've seen the worst of him, you haven't even come close. Besides, have you ACTUALLY gone o…
/r/askFDS09/02/21 06:43 PM
23

No matter what LVM will try to make women think, men like this DO exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 08:27 PM
13

I'm seeing a whole lot of husband priveleges going to a man who hasn't even proposed to you. Don't move in with men you're not married to, or at least engaged to. I wouldn't even let him live in my house.
/r/askFDS04/02/21 02:04 AM
8

You gotta block him.
/r/askFDS03/02/21 01:42 AM
6

Wow, did he even apologize? He certainly owes you an apology, it shows how little he respects you. I also think he's lying. The fact that he says he was doing something BORING makes it even more unrealistic that he would forget. You deserve way, way better. I would reccomend blocking him and moving on. If you want to respond, you can just say something like, "I'm not interested in offering time to someone who doesn't value mine" and then block.
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:24 AM
20

It sounds like you're on track to becoming a forever girlfriend. I don't think he's the one for you. If he wanted to, he would.
/r/askFDS01/02/21 12:08 AM
9

Good answers so far. My two cents and has complimented me multiple times on my appearance Red flag. Men complimenting you on your appearance at this point, especially frequently, is a red flag. Their attraction to you should be a given, and men who are overly vocal about your appearance are usually only into you for one thing: your appearance. Looks fade, and men who are obsessed about women's looks often seek novelty, not genuine intimacy and appreciation for another human being as a WHOLE. The…
/r/askFDS31/01/21 06:48 PM
10

As another commenter mentioned here, not many men are actually men, they are still boys in grown bodies. No, they are men. They are grown as men mentally and physically. And they behave like grown ass men behave. We need to stop giving "immaturity" as an excuse for me and recognize that GROWN men treat women like crap. It is a problem with GROWN MEN. Many little boys know how to value and respect women.
/r/askFDS31/01/21 06:39 PM
72

Wait, so you haven't actually met this guy yet? Please don't put so much stock into someone you haven't even met. I once spent two weeks texting a guy, thought we had decent connection, he seemed great, never made things sexually, always texted first, polite and respectful, so I started to get attached, only to finally meet in person and have ZERO attraction to him. Its a waste of time. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and keep dating and talking to other men. Also, don't interrogate and do…
/r/askFDS26/01/21 05:27 PM
41

If a guy thinks you owe him sex then you've dodged a bullet. Follow the FDS guidelines and wait at least 90 days before having sex (and before commitment) this will automatically get rid of any man who thinks he is owed sex. Don't pay half. Never go over to a man's house or offer to let him over to yours. If he wants to take you on a drive or go for a walk to a secluded area that's also a red flag he's trying to get sex. Don't get into a car with him. If he only wants to get together late at nig…
/r/askFDS18/01/21 10:01 PM
7

Yes, communicate with your actions, not your words. Chapter 6 of Why Men Love Bitches talks about it. I didn't have a specific chapter for you in my first comment so hopefully this is more helpful!
/r/askFDS16/01/21 04:53 AM
13

Well, basically the whole book. If none of that is working then maybe it's time to go seperate ways. How he treats you is how he feels about you.
/r/askFDS16/01/21 04:40 AM
29

Read "Why Men Love bitches" it's FDS reccomended reading. It gives guidelines. The other comments are right. Mirror his energy and put your energy 100% into your own life and goals. Go out with friends more. Stop inviting him to go with you. Don't feel like you have to tell him where you're going either. Let him wonder lol
/r/askFDS16/01/21 04:26 AM
6

I think you should dump him. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
/r/askFDS10/01/21 04:10 AM
1

If I don't say anything specific early on I feel it would be harder to stand my ground later. What do you mean but "stand my ground"? Because if a man shows or tells you that he is not interested in marriage, and that's what you want, you should move on. Find a man who knows what he values and who values you. Don't try to convince him otherwise and don't wait for him to change his mind. Remember the good ol saying, "If he wanted to, he would." It's always okay to end things for any reason, so ev…
/r/askFDS02/01/21 10:12 PM
3

Honestly, it's a red flag if you have to be the first person to bring up marriage/commitment. Ideally, the man would say what he wants like, "I want to get married someday, what about you?" Instead of just, "What do you hope to get out of this?" or something ambiguous like that. Always be wary of men who ask what you want because no matter what you say they can shapeshift into what they think you want, just to get what they want (sex, money, bangmaid, etc). I think Pollyannasunshine gave spot on…
/r/askFDS01/01/21 09:52 PM
1

42 and living with his mom? Man child alert! I bet he has crumbs in his bed and still makes her do his laundry. He probably just wants another bangmaid, not an equal. You dodged a massive bullet
/r/askFDS26/12/20 11:15 PM
1

He wants to come over to "smoke and hang out"? Yuck, what a loser. I can't stand people whose only hobby is smoking. They all have the same low-value trashy personality and it's boring lol I can roast him some more if that helps? You know what you have to do. You deserve so much more. Keep loving yourself and focusing on your own growth! You're doing great
/r/askFDS25/12/20 11:31 PM
1

Right, but clearly he saw you that way regardless of your relationship status. Sounds like he pounced on the opportunity (without giving you enough time, mind you) and was an orbiter the whole time. I don't trust those types of guys.
/r/askFDS24/12/20 10:16 PM
1

Have you read the handbook?
/r/askFDS24/12/20 10:15 PM
1

IMO, long distance relationships aren't relationships. Especially when you've never even met. Also, the guy gets to put in basically minimal effort. Why are you going to him? Is he pursuing you or is it the other way around? You've only been "talking" for a few months but are already thinking about marriage? Slow down. You have on your rose colored lenses and I think you're infatuated with this guy.
/r/askFDS24/12/20 09:55 PM
1

I mean, he went out of his way not only to follow her back, but to like her photos! Ex's should be blocked on social media IMO. Let the last stay in the past. What he did was super inappropriate and disrespectful. I would break up with someone for this. You are allowed to end a relationship for any reason. If you are unhappy and they no longer bring value to your life, it is ALWAYS okay to move on. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Put yourself first and go for what it is you really want, wh…
/r/askFDS24/12/20 09:51 PM
5

Honestly, I don't think it's very HV for a guy to want to have sex with you on the third date, let alone when it's "boozy". I feel like if he really respected you and wanted more than sex, he wouldn't have invited you over in the first place. Especially considering he knew sex was so intimate for you. Invites to their house are just propositions for sex. My question is, why would he do that? Also, don't drink on dates. It makes you too easy to be taken advantage of. Was the drinking his idea?
/r/askFDS22/12/20 12:13 AM
11

I agree with those saying this is a recipe for disaster. I'm in the creative industry, and so is my partner. I'm going to be real with you, for a man in his mid 30's to be wanting to go into that field but be unestablished and still working a day job is a red flag. I know that people find their way in life at different points in life, but someone fresh out of college has a MUCH better chance at establishing that kind of career than someone his age. It takes years and years to get established in …
/r/askFDS18/12/20 12:08 AM
1

Honestly, I would also suggest therapy because this kind of thing can become traumatic. I had such an awful time this summer being constantly catcalled and facing street harrassmant that I developed agoraphobia. I still struggle with it. You're not alone. It freaking sucks. The only thing that helps me is going out with another person, mostly my bf. When he's with me it steers off some of that creepiness and I just feel protected enough to loosen up and be me. When I'm out alone I feel so guarde…
/r/askFDS16/12/20 05:05 PM
8

Be with someone who treats you like a prize. It's easy to find someone who wants you. Instead, find someone who values you. On FDS, look for the posts with the following flairs: FDS Success, How-to High Value, Green flag Are there any couples you admire in your life? People you look at and think, "I want a relationship like that." Pay attention to how they treat each other.
/r/askFDS15/12/20 11:23 PM
8

He's using you. Block and delete.
/r/askFDS15/12/20 11:14 PM
9

Your ex was an abusive psychopath who blatantly manipulated and lied to you. Someone who loves you will respect your boundaries and want you to be comfortable. I have a copper IUD because that is my preferred BC method, but sometimes it causes painful cramps. When I brought up the cramps, my boyfriend said that he will happily use condoms forever if it means I'll be spared from the pain and discomfort. When I asked, "wouldn't that be less pleasurable for you?" He shrugged and said it would be wo…
/r/askFDS15/12/20 11:10 PM
12

There are some awesome books recommended in the side bar on FDS. Books have been one of my main resources in rebuilding self-esteem, as well as diving into my passions/hobbies, including personal fitness. When we succeed at things, it makes us feel good about ourselves. I feel like a catch knowing that I'm committed to being literally the very best version of me I can be! I would recommend meeting someone in person. Anecdotally, I've also had bad experiences on OLD and after giving up on it, I m…
/r/askFDS15/12/20 11:04 PM
18

Yes I commented his name on one of the comments below. It says his name in the articles. edit: Jean-Paul Braun of Quebec.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 03:59 AM
5

What is he doing to ensure that he will be able to afford those things? Is he ambitious? Is he looking for a better job, advancing in his career, to make more money? Is he saving up? I'm concerned about his ability to provide for you and a family. If you want kids, how can he possibly keep you afloat if he doesn't even make enough to take you on dates? I'm still curious, how old are you two? Financially, it makes a big difference if you're still rather young vs if you're older he really should b…
/r/askFDS14/12/20 08:12 PM
12

You should visit r/ theotherwoman if you think these woman are so innocent lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 05:59 PM
8

we love eachother deeply but I'm not happy. There is your answer. You can love a person and recognize that they still aren't right for you. How old are you guys? Is marriage something you want? Because If you've been together 5 years and he hasn't proposed he probably never will, this has been proven in studies. You're not expecting too much. Being happy in a relationship is never too much to ask for. The fact that you ask makes me think that being with him has had a significant negative impact …
/r/askFDS14/12/20 05:35 PM
28

By asking you to come over to his place he's asking you to have sex. Those are his intentions (or worse, he wants to harm or assault you). If he respected you or wanting anything more than sex he'd continue to actually date you.
/r/askFDS14/12/20 05:16 PM
17

I didn't get any drugs and my uterus was "floating" so she had to clamp it still with an instrument..no biggie just an internal organ being gripped by a metal clamp lol. It was good preparation for childbirth. I feel like I'll be more prepared going into that. Especially because I want to have a natural birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:08 AM
18

I would gladly do it again. I love my IUD. I have a copper one so it will last 10 years and it's great to not have to ever worry about birth control or subject my body to the havoc that hormones wreak. Wish I didn't have to go through the pain but there just aren't any better options available to us unfortunately- considering the Copper IUD being completely hormone free, 99.9% effective and lasting 10 years (but you can take it out whenever you want and get pregnant basically immediately afterwa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 05:04 AM
3

Read the FDS reccomended reading "Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl" by Sherry Argov.
/r/askFDS12/12/20 08:29 PM
7

I'm no expert in these matters, but I would reccomend writing a letter of resignation, giving a two weeks notice. You don't have to say exactly why, just that it's not the right fit for you and/or doors have opened for a new opportunity where you think you'll be a better fit. Your boss may still yell at you, but it sounds like that's just who she is, it's not a reflection of you. She sounds like a very poor leader and you're doing the right thing by recognizing you deserve better. Leaving is set…
/r/askFDS12/12/20 08:28 PM
22

Drunk drunk isn't healthy. Let's not glorify alcohol abuse. There's a reason we get hangovers afterwards: alcohol is literally a toxin. It's poison and it makes us vomit because our bodies are trying desperately to get it out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:05 AM
20

Me too. I'm straight edge. No drugs or alcohol and never have done them. Not just for this reason, but it's another massive benefit. I will never put myself into this kind of situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/20 05:02 AM
18

Exactly. It's insulting for them to assume you're looking for anything less than the best. They know what a good man is. They're not stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:43 PM
2

Seconded. Most life changing book I ever read. Kick-started my healing journey!
/r/askFDS09/12/20 05:33 PM
8

Plus its always flattering when he gets up with a huge boner after he's done making me squirm. This! There's nothing better than a man who actually enjoys making you feel good. Mine will do the same thing. Give me oral and then get up and be throbbing. It's so sad that there are so many women out there who are too ashamed to let a man go down on them. He makes me feel like I'm actually desirable!! I'm so happy for you. All woman should experience this and never settle for less! This shouldnt be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:30 PM
8

This makes me feel like I found a unicorn. Mine took time to learn what works for me and now he makes me cum and I don't have to lift a finger. He either does via oral before hand or during PIV he'll use his hand on my clit and make me cum before he does. It took some practice but now he knows exactly how to do it! Seriously, DONT SETTLE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 12:46 AM
2

That age gap 🤢If kids are something you want in your future his sperm is far from prime. Mens fertility decreases with age too, and at his age, assuming he'll be even older when you do have kids, the risk of genetic abnormality is higher. Increased paternal age is also associated with increased risk of miscarriage. A relationship shouldn't make you fee like you're losing your mind. It should feel safe and stable and it should be FUN. I don't think he takes you or the relationship seriously at al…
/r/askFDS08/12/20 12:02 AM
3

Yeah, age gaps like this are always a red flag. For one, don't date men so much older than you, they never have good intentions.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 11:54 PM
3

Our conversations were pretty sweet but most of the time we talked about sex. Honestly, I didn't even need to read the rest. This is the number one easy indicator that a man is low or no value. Block and delete any man who talks about sex with you because that's all they want. Have you read the handbook? FDS protocol is to wait 90 days before sex and if he hasn't committed by then, move on.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 11:52 PM
27

Firstly, there's a difference between not being able to cook and not wanting to be your SO's personal chef. Secondly, being able to cook is a skill than any adult should have. I also think there is a difference between cooking for your parter and cooking for you children. If you have kids, it's your (both parents) responsibility to collectively provide them with healthy meals. Meaning, just because you don't like to cook doesn't mean your kids should grow up on processed food. A poor diet impact…
/r/askFDS07/12/20 11:48 PM
10

Girl, I got you. Check out this post on FDS: PRACTICAL TIPS MEGA ESSAY! Easy classy ways to signal your standards.
/r/askFDS07/12/20 11:40 PM
2

Don't give up on yourself and don't sell yourself short! You sound like an amazing human being who is doing amazing things for herself. ❤️ Good luck with getting your degree!
/r/askFDS07/12/20 11:21 PM
2

I understand. It's difficult, especially nowadays with the pandemic! I'm not a fan of random strangers approaching me in public either but I was thinking more in the context of people you've already established a friendship/acquaintanceship with. I met my bf in college, we were both a part of the play that the performing arts department was putting on. Most of my good friends and guy's that have like me, I've met through activities like that because we were able to actually get to know each othe…
/r/askFDS06/12/20 05:47 PM
25

He's a LVM. His insecurities would lead to an incredibly toxic relationship, I would advise you to stop talking to this man. He's already putting you in a position of catering to and being responsible for his emotions. This is also often an intentional manipulative tactic. Abusers take on the role of "the victim" especially when they sense their target is an empathy or "fixer" type. He's insecure at best and dangerous at worst. Can you imagine if he became so paranoid that he began to stalk you?…
/r/askFDS06/12/20 01:26 AM
5

Yes, which both of the things I mentioned add up to.
/r/askFDS05/12/20 09:27 PM
3

Exactly!
/r/askFDS05/12/20 04:44 AM
31

Sounds like he wants you to chase him. Or he's so insecure that he thinks because you haven't initiated that you don't like him. A lot of guys nowadays have this "I asked her out, now she has to ask me out" mentality. The types who want everything to be 50/50. Either way, probably not realtionship material. I agree with what everyone else has said!
/r/askFDS04/12/20 11:46 PM
2

Try meeting men in real life. If you meet someone you have established a genuine connection with (via your travels, career, group hobby, team sport, etc) then they get the chance to see how HV you are and you can see how HV they are . HVM are rare but even rarer online. Guys who are trying to meet women online are convenience minded, not commitment minded.
/r/askFDS04/12/20 11:37 PM
5

Also, I completely disagree with the other poster. These guys have no idea if you're a HVW. I'm sure they've encountered women looking for hookups, sugar daddies, friends, dogsitters, Instagram followers, rebounds, etc. That's why I clearly distinguished the fact that she is using OLD. In real life, meeting men who know who YOU ARE (through your career, a group hobby, team sport, etc.) they can tell if you are a HVW or at least appear as one. Obviously, on OLD they have no idea so why would they…
/r/askFDS04/12/20 11:34 PM
31

This is definitely a complex thing. Personally, I wouldn't want to say that "I'm open to possibilities" because that's not true. I'm not interested in casual sex and I don't want anyone to think I am. But I also wouldn't want to show my cards and make it easier for some dude to just lie. Instead, I try to communicate that by who I am in my daily life. The words I say, how I carry myself, the company I keep, the content of the media I observe, my confidence, the environments I'm in, etc. I show t…
/r/askFDS03/12/20 12:32 AM
7

This is complicated for me. I've been assaulted on a date because this dude that I want on a "oh, what the heck" date with, assumed I wanted to be shoved up against the wall and groped while he stuck his tongue in my mouth. He thought because we were on a date and I was being nice (I'm a naturally bubbly person) that I was super into him, I guess? In reality, I couldnt have been less attracted to him. And the worst thing was that he seemed super nervous, like some societal pressure made him thin…
/r/askFDS02/12/20 09:01 PM
6

I can stress enough how important it is to have a woman therapist!! They understand our struggle. If you try again, see if you can find a woman. Good luck!
/r/askFDS02/12/20 08:06 PM
15

do men even realize how screwed they are? Porn has turned their brains into literal mush. I don't know why more men don't see porn as the biggest threat to men right now. It's pretty blatant. Like, it's making them so much weaker than they could be. So much dumber. Controlled little coomers who neglect themselves and their goals in favor of strangling their dick in a dark room so much they can't even get hard with a real woman. It's like they are incapable of actually being present in the moment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:02 PM
19

I have body dysmorphia and have struggled with eating disorders so I understand how hard it can be. It's truly a process and a long journey. It's difficult because every aspect of society is telling us that we MUST be beautiful and that we are NOT beautiful simultaneously. It's a mindfuck. Have you found a good therapist who specializes in these issues? Books can be of great help too, and just sitting down to read is quite soothing. The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf and The Gift of Imperfection by B…
/r/askFDS02/12/20 04:51 PM
10

I wouldnt, they are likely still fetishizing your youth. If you want kids then it's a big no. Men's fertility drops with age too, and instances of birth defects, miscarriage and other genetic abnormalities (including autism, schizophrenia and low IQs) increase with paternal age because their sperm quality deteriorates. Studies have even found that older men have less attractive children! Not to mention ED in the bedroom....
/r/askFDS02/12/20 03:03 AM
2

Thank you!!
/r/askFDS02/12/20 03:00 AM
3

😂 my thought exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 07:37 PM
10

I know what you mean. That movie was stressful af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 05:20 PM
24

No offense, but celebrities all lie about their weight, just like many of them lie about their age. There is no way to know what their actual weight is. Since it is such a messed up indicator of status for women many of them lie to keep up the unattainable beauty standards that comes with celebrity status. It's just like men lying about their heights on tinder. "120 lbs" has become a standard for women even though it's arbitrary and everyone has a different body composition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:35 PM
17

First of all, stop referring to yourself as a "female virgin". That something some nasty misogynist would call you. Secondly, please read the handbook. All of this is laid out very clearly in the handbook. Read the first chapter: Establishing Queen Energy From Day One and follow those guidelines. Vetting is the most important thing. I really don't reccomend online dating though. It's such a waste of time because 99% of those men are LVM who just want convenient access to what they think they are…
/r/askFDS01/12/20 04:19 PM
22

I mean spoilers but the ending was pretty satisfying too since he died and she got all the money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 04:07 PM
10

You're not alone! I have CPTSD too. Partially from being consistently gaslighted to an extreme degree, often in a similar way to how this infographic does... Being told I'm overreacting and too emotional. Nope. We do not need to "suck it up". You're valid!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 11:48 PM
8

No problem! Hopefully you can get some more answers too!
/r/askFDS30/11/20 11:39 PM
16

This question has already been asked a few times. There are some good answers: here and here If you are following FDS, then you shouldn't be pursuing men. It's not your job to come up with a date idea, or to provide him with suggestions. Just say, "I have a lot of food allergies and can't eat out." If he's a smart, thoughtful guy, and if he actually cares, he will figure something else out. That's like, the bare minimum. Then, you get to decide if the proposed activity is worth your time or not;…
/r/askFDS30/11/20 10:50 PM
16

Then it should have said that though. Language matters, it can be validating and it can be minimizing. "SUCK IT UP" is not a healthy thing to say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 08:54 PM
7

There's nothing wrong with you. It's normal. You're going through withdrawal from the oxytocin you got when you were around him. It's addictive. It will fade with time. In the meantime, try to think logically without attachment. It wasn't meant to be.
/r/askFDS28/11/20 11:16 PM
18

Thank you for such an in depth answer! I really appreciate it.
/r/askFDS28/11/20 05:23 AM
20

Can I ask, what do you mean it was a lot of work sexually? Like, did you feel like you had to please them both? I'm also curious, as this is addressing the sexual aspect, but what was the romantic aspect like? Were you in love with both men?
/r/askFDS28/11/20 02:29 AM
27

I’ll instead just tell the first guy I sleep with “oh it’s been a while so it’ll take me a bit longer to get warmed up so go real slow” Men should be gentle and go slow with ALL WOMEN. Just because I'm not a virgin doesn't mean I want him to skip foreplay, shove it in dry and pound my cervix until I'm getting cramps. I hate that men nowadays think rough sex is the only way to have sex because of porn. WE NEED TIME TO WARM UP we are not walking fleshlight for you to penetrate whenever you want it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 04:04 AM
14

Take my poor woman's gold:🏅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 01:14 AM
11

Why not have kids with someone you like though?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 01:14 AM
19

I mean it's on tiktok so odds are it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:30 AM
1

I broke down and he blamed me for always overreacting and said he didn't mean it that way. That's gaslighting. He's abusive and I encourage you to end this relationship for your own wellbeing. Please read "Why Does He Do That?" By Lundy Bancroft, it will bring you a lot of clarity and understanding and help validate you. I'm sorry you had to hear him say such hurtful things. I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself and seeing a doctor to look after your health. You deserve to be happy and he…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 06:00 AM
8

It doesn't sound like a "good challenge", it sounds like a red flag. Healthy relationships aren't challenging.
/r/askFDS26/11/20 03:11 AM
16

It's exciting that you get to explore this challenge with him! This is FDS. No one should be taking red flags as a sign to "explore challenges", especially this early on in a relationship. This sub is about finding what brings VALUE to you, and pouring your time and energy into fixing someone with avoidant traits ain't that. It's as if you're telling OP to be Barbara the Builder. Spoilers: you can't train a man how to treat you right. He's shown OP who he is; she has already expressed her expect…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 02:17 AM
6

Actions do speak loudly, but communication is key to a healthy relationship. Words matter, language matters. Not wanting to text all day is one thing, but this seems much bigger than that. He is not communicating with you and that's a red flag 🚩 ! There are 5 levels to communication. Hallway talk: Sharing Cliches and Superficiality, "Fine, how are you?" Reporter talk, "Just give me the facts." Intellectual talk, "Do you know what I think?" Emotional talk, "Let me tell you how I feel." Loving, ge…
/r/askFDS26/11/20 02:14 AM
2

How long have you been dating and how long have you been exclusive? Does he want to have sex with you? Is it possible that he is asexual or has a really low libido? It's also possible that he could have a micropenis or some form of ED and not want to have sex for that reason. If he is not emotionally ready, then maybe he is not emotionally ready to be in an exclusive relationship. He sounds hung up on his ex. If he has trauma, he should work it out with a therapist before entering into another r…
/r/askFDS25/11/20 06:45 PM
1

I've always been pretty attractive, conventionally so. I attract men of all races. Hold up. What do you mean by this? Are you saying that less attractive women cannot attract men of all races, and therefore certain races of men have higher standards? There's a lot to unpack here.
/r/askFDS25/11/20 06:40 PM
13

Exactly. Intimacy is much more of an emotional need than sex is. When people say sex is an "emotional need", what they really want is intimacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 04:22 AM
4

Are you not saying sex is a "psychological need"? I might have misunderstood you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 02:24 AM
10

Actually, it has everything to do with this discussion. Because it is proof that there is no such thing as a universal human need for sex. Speaking as someone who is asexual. I "need" a cigarette, doesn't mean i should have it. That's not a need, it's a preference; a desire. I want cake, I don't need it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:51 AM
16

I think you are mistaking sex for intimacy. Sex is a physical act. You can achieve that closeness and intimacy in other ways, too. It's also funny to me when men try to act sex is an "emotional need" and then when they get access to it it they shove it in dry with zero foreplay, no emotional connection, and jackhammer for 10-30 seconds while fantasizing about some porn star or even watching it on their phone. It has nothing to do with an emotional connection for them. They just want power and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:26 AM
13

If sex is a psychological need then why do asexual people exist....?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 01:19 AM
15

For sure. So much goes unreported and many women don't even know that they've been assaulted because there's so much ignorance on consent out there. It's probably much higher.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:47 AM
23

He sounds like the type of pick up artist that keeps a diary with a list of women he's "seduced". The type of guy that deep down just has attachment issues and can't bond with women because he's sees us as commodities and not people. I mean, he basically tried to buy you.
/r/askFDS22/11/20 09:36 PM
3

My bad, I totally misread read your comment as "The red flag is not the age gap" and didn't see the "just". You are right, Thanks for pointing that out. I don't agree though that he isn't LV. I think he's shown very clearly right off the bat how LV he is. A single 51 year old throwing around cash to young women is definitely low value. If OPs goals are to have a fulfilling commited relationship, this is not the man for her. Most men who want that too are engaged by 28. If he wanted to settle dow…
/r/askFDS22/11/20 09:08 PM
3

He probably can't. He's not good enough for them!
/r/askFDS22/11/20 09:06 PM
15

Exactly. Very well said. He would not have been interested in OP if she were his age.
/r/askFDS22/11/20 07:30 PM
26

The red flag for me is not just the age thing Age gaps like this (he is 16 years older than OP) are inherently misogynistic and perpetuate the patriarchal ideal that our worth is in our youth. It's youth fetishism. Edit: sorry OP, 🤦🏽‍♀️ I misread your comment. Will edit my comment
/r/askFDS22/11/20 06:37 PM
30

It’s funny he said that he would never guess I am 35, as if I am old lol Yeah, that's a neg. I'm sorry this douche felt so entitled to your time and attention. You sound like an awesome person. 35 is not old!
/r/askFDS22/11/20 06:32 PM
115

He's being "generous" because he knows that's basically the only way to get attention at his age. The age gap is inappropriate and he's a sugar daddy, PUA creep. This is practiced. He's probably done this dozens of times. Trust me when I say this type of guy is not looking to add value to your life. He's looking to use you and have power over you. He's not "being generous", hes love-bombing you. Spending $300 on complete strangers is something a narc would do, hoping to WOW you. It's manipulativ…
/r/askFDS22/11/20 05:49 PM
27

This gave me a good chuckle. I also love the way you write, you should consider starting a blog or vlog because it is quite entertaining. I can't believe the audacity if these men. 20 minutes??? Man's looking for a free prostitute. I also just did a Google search and mosquitos do not spread typhoid. No animals carry the disease so transmission is always human to human via feco-oral route. So, unless he had contaminated food or water, mans was prolly eating some ass (just another one of the 10,00…
/r/askFDS21/11/20 06:19 PM
5

True, but most jeans are thin. Only the really good quality expensive ones are thicker.
/r/askFDS18/11/20 11:59 PM
9

If they are decently sized you should be able to feel their boner, yes. You can also usually see a bulge unless they are wearing super thick material like with some pairs of jeans.
/r/askFDS18/11/20 11:45 PM
9

Please read the handbook.
/r/askFDS18/11/20 11:36 PM
28

Are those the standards for high standard people though? I mean, none of that is the norm in the USA either because the VAST majority of men are LVM and don't want to put in effort. Insecurity and mental health issues are also rampant and thus many men want to be chased and tons of people have attachment issues and unresolved childhood trauma. Most young people are on tinder having hookups. It's only the cream of the crop that expect otherwise. HV people are rare.
/r/askFDS18/11/20 11:34 PM
15

I'm 25 and dating a HVM! We met in college during a theatrical production. He was playing one of the main characters and I was assistant stage manager. When we met I hadn't actually yet discovered FDS, so I had a huge crush on him (though crushes are RARE for me because I have high standards, I can count the number of crushes I've had in my entire life on one hand) but had never been in a relationship and was too shy to act on it. We were in the same friend group from theatre and became friends …
/r/askFDS18/11/20 08:46 PM
2

I agree with the previous poster. I will also say that it's important that he continue to put in effort and treat you like a prize, even after 8 years. He should be consistently pursuing you during that time, not getting lazy. IF you decide to be in a relationship with this man for so long, DON'T "act like your married" as many women will often do. Don't give him husband benefits if he isn't your husband, or the likelihood of him ever proposing goes way, way down. That usually means moving in to…
/r/askFDS18/11/20 02:58 PM
1

Don't bother. If he wanted to keep in touch with you, he would have. Seems like he just kept your contact info as backup.
/r/askFDS17/11/20 10:24 PM
11

Why are YOU trying to figure this out? The man is the one who should be asking you on dates, that means its his job to come up with ideas. He should pursue you. If he needs you to come up with ideas or tell him where to take you then he's lazy and low effort or just plain dumb. Depending on your location and covid restrictions, you can go to: - zoos museums aquariums outdoor festivals sports event art galleries cooking classes (that way you can prepare the food yourself) other arts and craft cla…
/r/askFDS17/11/20 10:23 PM
11

Callouses I don't mind but where I live in the winter when the air gets dry... Oh man it's awful if you don't moisturize!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 06:21 PM
1

Hey there, I know you posted this a few days ago so I hope you still see this. This video has all the answers for you. From FDS verified youtuber Derrick Jaxn: WHY HE GAVE HIS NEW WOMAN EVERYTHING YOU DESERVED. His message really helped me after a break up, and I think they'll help you too.
/r/askFDS17/11/20 05:32 PM
6

Then later, I decided to delete the app because it was just too much maintenance for me to keep on talking with guys I don't really know and it stressed me out If they don't ask you out within a WEEK of talking, move on. You shouldn't be the one asking for their social media and things like that. Let them pursue you. Let them show you who they are. Signs not to take him seriously. This guy was clearly showing you that he wasn't that interested. He doesn't take you seriously and he's wasting your…
/r/askFDS17/11/20 05:14 PM
10

Document everything and get a restraining order.
/r/askFDS17/11/20 05:09 PM
7

I'm just going to make a sidenote: The majority fo your communication should be done in person. Due to COVID, that could be a phone call or video chat. But texting constantly just shows that you're completely available and gives him the benefits of having you at his beck and call without actually taking you out on a date or putting in any effort. Don't send emojis, keep it professional but most importantly, focus on your own life and leveling up first and foremost. Don't feel the need to enterta…
/r/askFDS16/11/20 09:04 PM
16

He's selfish. He's putting his girlfriend's life in danger by cheating (and some STDS can cause permanent infertility in women). He can't be "HV other than the cheating". You're either high value or you aren't. Why is this scumbag even in your life? Please don't tell me he's your "friend".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 07:08 PM
2

As soon as I saw the age gap I knew it would be bad. He is a LVM. Leave him.
/r/askFDS10/11/20 05:26 PM
1

He's gaslighting you. Watch this NO, YOU’RE NOT “TRIPPING.” THEY ARE GASLIGHTING YOU!.
/r/askFDS10/11/20 05:25 PM
2

You live and you learn. Now that you know better, please do better. Blurring lines and crossing boundaries like this will never lead to a healthy relationship, only toxicity. I knew it would lead to nowhere This shouldn't even be a reason that you pulled back. Honestly, it comes across as selfish and concerns me a lot. Are you saying that if he would leave his wife for you you would have been with him? The only reason should be because it's wrong. Again, if you haven't read the FDS handbook plea…
/r/askFDS09/11/20 04:40 PM
2

I didn't see it as morally wrong to have a "friendship" as I didn't want sex nor him to leave his wife for me. Have you heard of emotional affairs? These things don't need to happen in order for it to be inappropriate. The feelings involved make it inappropriate and disrespectful. He's being unfaithful to his wife. I can't stand the thought of being a homewrecker but talked to him as I was attracted to him. That's wrong. He was in a relationship. If you develop feelings with someone who is in a …
/r/askFDS09/11/20 04:12 PM
3

Your relationship with him is super inappropriate and bordering on emotional affair territory. If I were the wife of this man I would consider you to be a morally corrupt individual for choosing a married man to have this "friendship" with. I suggest that you see a therapist. Both for your need for validation/lack of confidence but also for your lack of empathy towards others. I'm honestly shocked that you would even think it's okay to be texting like that with someone who is in a relationship. …
/r/askFDS09/11/20 02:41 PM
30

He's most likely doing it on purpose. He knows what he's doing. Those who have brought up triangulation and negging are spot on. You just started dating, and are basically brand new to him, yet he's infatuated with these celebrity crushes? Also, some guys can get really dangerously obsessive over their celebrity crushes, to the point where a "real woman" would never live up to the made up story and fantasy they've built in their heads. I see a few possibilities: He's not that into you. He's tryi…
/r/askFDS08/11/20 05:33 PM
3

I'm actually surprised by the comments because I interpreted the tweet in the completely opposite way that most commenters seem to have interpreted it. To me it's like he's saying if the guy does have warlord potential then he's not someone you want to date. A "warlord" isn't a good guy. If you think of post-apocalyptic warlords you think of Negan from TWD or Immortal Joe from Mad Max. A warlord is a villian. A dangerous, psychopathic, violent, aggressive being. A post-apocalyptic leader? Sure. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:29 AM
12

You wrote essays for him?? So you helped him cheat through school 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 01:03 AM
30

I'm a light-skinned black woman and I get fetishized by everyone, including black men. ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/20 06:01 PM
7

Sending videos/nudes of someone without their consent is a crime. HVM don't film themselves having sex with women, porn addicts who objectify women do. They also wouldn't send it to other people and definitely wouldn't keep it on their phones for years. this is not the only incident of possible infidelity I’ve come across with him. He is not the one for you. You know what you need to do.
/r/askFDS05/11/20 01:19 AM
5

Am I crazy/wierd then for being 25 and still having it? I actually didn't get it when I was a teen because I was on HBC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:41 PM
7

Interesting! Although, that's still half of women. So I wouldn't say "most" women don't experience PMS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 06:05 PM
16

I don't know about that. Who gets PMS? As many as three in four women say they get PMS symptoms at some point in their lifetime. For most women, PMS symptoms are mild. Less than 5% of women of childbearing age get a more severe form of PMS, called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). This is from womenshealth.gov
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 05:53 PM
6

Why does he have to know or agree? Are you worried that he will reject you or not want to date you if you don't agree to it? You're right he has no right to ask you not to date other people, you're not exclusive. It's as if he is essentially forcing you into a relationship with him and that seems controlling to me. Because he's saying that if someone better comes along you're not allowed to date them, COVID seems like an easy way for an insecure guy to trap you. He needs to prove himself and be …
/r/askFDS03/11/20 05:21 PM
2

I'm glad my response is helpful! I've been through a similar process and learned a lot from that journey. It is a beautiful process of getting to know yourself, and becoming closer to yourself. My boyfriend and I don't really do gifts right now but maybe that's something that we should change once we have higher income. Also remember that you can still exchange gifts that don't cost any money at all. Maybe he sees a beautiful flower out on his walk and picks it for you because it reminds him of …
/r/askFDS03/11/20 05:10 PM
1

That's an amazing feat. It would be really great if she could go back to seeing her therapist!
/r/askFDS02/11/20 06:07 PM
2

Ah, I misread that "He was using again" as "She was using again", my bad. For her to be around a user it's incredibly likely that she will relapse. I don't know if there is a way you can wake her up. You clearly care a lot about her and she is lucky to have you. She has to come to that realization herself. Does she see a therapist as part of her treatment?
/r/askFDS02/11/20 06:01 PM
1

got into heroin together. She's gone. Drug addicts, and this is pretty much the worse drug you can get addicted to, are energy sinks. I'm sorry to say, and it is tragic, but even with professional help there is a very slim chance the friend you knew will come back. I've had experience with heroin addicts. Protect your own energy and set VERY firm boundaries if she is someone you want to keep in your life. She's to the point of stealing for drugs, she is not thinking straight. You won't be able t…
/r/askFDS02/11/20 05:55 PM
26

FDS does not say that a man should be spending outside his means. It's the thought and effort that counts more than the cost. For a man to be massively in debt or lack personal finance skill would be a red flag and LV behavior. That being said if a man is completely broke, he probably is not ready to be dating. He should be focusing on himself and getting back to a financially stable and healthy place first. You should also be wary of a man "spoiling you" or spending TOO much. Bringing you expen…
/r/askFDS02/11/20 03:12 PM
22

That's what I suspected. It's pretty gross for a 23 year old to be into teens. He groomed you to tolerate this kind of treatment. No wise woman would accept this.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 06:53 PM
8

I know, it feels unnatural at first. Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep showing yourself love and kindess and believe in what you deserve. You are worthy ❤️
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:35 PM
3

Its a red flag!!! No way should you be splitting 50/50. Nope. I'm curious when you started dating? How old were you? If he doesn't believe in shared finances before marriage then why are you living together before marriage? So you can pay half of everything? Let me guess, he's cool with SEX before marriage though! He's taking advantage of you.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:20 PM
25

I feel like he’s using marriage as a carrot on a stick. This. "Before marriage" means nothing when he's probably expecting her to have sex before marriage, to cook for him before marriage, to clean for him before marriage, etc.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:20 PM
19

You are not being too picky.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 05:17 PM
1

I'm confused. What is this guy to you? Are you interested in him? You're definitely not dating. Chatting in a discord isn't dating. He seems like a LVM based in his self-centeredness and neediness. Self l-victimizing is a tactic abusive men also use. It's not your job to be his therapist and go into his DMs comforting him. He's a grown man, if video games make him throw tantrums and pout that's on him not you. Also, in regards to the other guy I want to be clear that FDS is ANTI-PORN.
/r/askFDS01/11/20 04:16 PM
1

to communicate you are not there to play games. Don't. If you communicate this, men will be able to manipulate you more easily. If you communicate "Only looking for commitment", the guys who want hookups won't swipe left, they'll just slide into you dms saying they're only looking for commitment too and what a wonderful match you two are! Once they get what they want, they'll bounce. This is why you vet diligently, let them show you who they are. It's pretty easy to tell when a guy is playing ga…
/r/askFDS31/10/20 04:07 PM
8

You're a wonderful friend! There is nothing more beautiful than female friendship ❤️ I hope you two have a lovely time!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 12:18 AM
32

I ran into the same issues on OLD. There are a couple of things to consider 1.) People lie. Men will lie about their age, height, and profession on OLD. They will use pictures of themselves as younger or at a lower weight. Some are even on their cheating. So take it with a grain of salt unless you have proof. I can't see why a man with a high profile career would be on OLD in the first place, unless they are just looking for an easy hookup or fwb situation. They should have a fully formed social…
/r/askFDS30/10/20 03:06 PM
22

He's talking about them like they're an order at a fast food restaurant 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 02:52 AM
15

Have you considered telling his girlfriend that he's flirting with you? Even anonymously in some way?
/r/askFDS27/10/20 11:24 PM
3

You are paying for his tuition, taking care of all living expenses, cooking and doing "half" of the childcare?? WTF? You're not raising one baby, you're raising two. He is USING YOU. I would put money on it that he is with you because it's convenient, not because he loves you. All of your good things about him are the BARE MINIMUM. No deep personal talk. Huge red flag. If he cared about you as a human being he would want to connect with you. I'm sorry, but he is a LVM through and through.
/r/askFDS27/10/20 04:44 PM
10

That "guy friend" of yours isn't actually your friend. He's an orbiter who is trying to keep you on the hook as a side chick or a replacement for his current girlfriend. You need to vet your male friends harder. His behavior and the way he talks to you about "how much we had in common and how he found me interesting and fun, and that I was much closer to his ideal than she was" is inappropriate for anyone to be telling someone when they are in a relationship. You need to shut that shit down righ…
/r/askFDS27/10/20 04:14 PM
2

The Midnight Gospel is on Netflix and I HIGHLY recommend it for anyone interested in philosophy. There are many great gems just like this one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:15 PM
20

I honestly stopped reading at #1. He is a LVM and I'd break up with a man for that. Think about your future daughters, what kind of impact would it have on their self esteem to hear their father talking about women like that?
/r/askFDS26/10/20 02:52 AM
6

I literally saw this the other day. Someone will be like, "is anyone here a girl?" and then ask, "Whats your snapchat?" It's crazy. They are so desperate they don't even care who you are, how old you are, what you look like etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 05:24 PM
2

It's okay, be kind to yourself. We all make mistakes and learn from them. You're trying your best and once you know better, you do better. Forgive yourself!
/r/askFDS24/10/20 08:14 PM
13

He should not be ALLOWING other women to act that way around him in the first place. I would never let another man get touchy feely with me when Im in a relationship. His acceptance and allowance of these female friends to cross boundaries is infidelity. She said they met in college but didn't say when. They could have met senior year which would make them about 26/27. And not everyone starts college right out of high school. They could have even met in grad school. That's not too young to know …
/r/askFDS23/10/20 04:36 PM
5

If he has been with you 5 years and is buying himself condos and cars but not buying you a ring.... He's not that into you. I'm sorry but he is not loyal to you and you are on track to being a forever girlfriend, if even that.
/r/askFDS22/10/20 04:28 PM
4

For you personally. For human beings as a species? Definitely not. Food and water are needs. Asexuality is a thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:10 PM
5

Sex is not a need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:02 PM
11

Plus STDs and STIs that can be life threatening and cause permanent infertility in women. accidental pregnancy. you name it!
/r/askFDS18/10/20 11:58 PM
12

Oh absolutely! Same goes if you find yourself needing to push for a proposal. Any man who is "willing" to marry you, even after one year, ain't it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:42 PM
4

for couples who are adults and out of university age in the workforce, there is no excuse to be unsure for years and years on end. 👏 Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:39 PM
5

I'd move on. If he wanted to see you, he would. You're not a pen pal, you have a life to be focusing on! I reccomend in the future texting less, he should only be getting valuable interactions with you on dates. Otherwise, he won't ask you... like he's doing now.
/r/askFDS18/10/20 04:25 PM
3

When I used to use Hinge I never initiated. Let them pursue you. Be the prize. I also never matched with a guy who only liked something, it's so low effort and to me it shows they barely care. I only responded to thoughtful comments and questions.
/r/askFDS18/10/20 04:22 PM
9

That's definitely a gut feeling. I have had that same sensation when discovering some shady stuff a man has done. It's your body telling you "This is wrong".
/r/askFDS18/10/20 04:20 PM
2

I don't know why a HVW would want to have casual sex, that's a degrading position. A vibrator is much safer. The orgasm gap is also a thing. Most women don't even have pleasurable casual sex. It doesn't benefit us AT ALL and you're essentially just providing a man with sex he doesn't deserve, perpetuating the cycle of male entitlement.
/r/askFDS18/10/20 04:18 PM
25

Here is the full outline from the book with all the stats (it's pretty extensive). There is definitely more to it than just that! Of course two 16 year olds who start dating really shouldn't get married after 18 months. I'm not sure the exact age range of those in the sample group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 04:38 AM
17

Nah, they're men. They are grown ass LVM. It's MEN that are fucking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 09:53 PM
3

"seeing escorts" is purchasing human beings like objects. Call it what it is: sex slavery. Participating in "sex work" in any form is participating in the trafficking, rape and abuse of women. Those women are victims. It absolutely matters and would absolutely disqualify a man. I wouldn't even want to physically be around a man, in any context, who has "seen escorts" let alone date them. No man who has "seen escorts" is a HVM. He is a misogynist and it literally disgusts me to think about what h…
/r/askFDS17/10/20 07:02 PM
9

Well, I'm a bisexual woman so I can offer a little advice from my perspective. Your usual strategy Hey, I think you’re cute. Do you like me/Wanna get together sometime? Would be a red flag coming from a guy, and no different coming from a girl. Openers that are about my looks are always cringeworthy "Hey beautiful" "I think you're pretty" etc because it feels objectifying. I want to know that someone is interested in me for who I am on the inside first and and foremost. Also, HVW don't accept lo…
/r/askFDS17/10/20 06:51 PM
6

Block him on everything and move on. Act like he's dead. You have to make that commitment to yourself, you owe it to yourself not to let this toxic person back into your life.
/r/askFDS16/10/20 09:23 PM
14

Any man who participates in prostitution or supports "sex work" is a NVM. Those women are his victims. Please remove this person from your life.
/r/askFDS16/10/20 09:16 PM
13

My biggest thing with age gaps is just, why? Why does he want a 35 year old women? Honestly, is he against dating women his own age? Too many men feel entitled to younger women. Complain about us hitting "the wall". At 35 it's less about him taking advantage of the power dynamic and more about his unrealistic expectations and entitlements. It could be a red flag on how he views women and attaches value to their youth. Like, would he still be interested in you if you were 46?
/r/askFDS15/10/20 08:20 PM
10

Be aware that men's fertility drops too. They also have a biological clock, and at 46 he could very well cause you difficulties concieving, not to mention that statistically the risk of genetic abnormalities and miscarriage is much higher with an older father.
/r/askFDS15/10/20 08:18 PM
19

I was very sad but I confronted him right away he admitted to be talking to other girls but that never cheated on me, not even by text... That is cheating. You don't have to have sex or trade nudes to cheat. Talking to girls on a DATING APP is cheating, everything is automatically in a romantic/sexual context and not platonic. He's having emotional affairs. He lied to you about it which shows that he is trickle-truthing, revealing a little bit of the truth at a time to make it seem less bad. Odd…
/r/askFDS15/10/20 03:30 PM
13

The egg don't swim to the sperm!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 10:28 PM
7

In what context is he bringing up an ex? Are they just randomly bringing it up? It's a red flag if she keeps popping into his thoughts like that, let alone bringing it up in conversation. My SO never talks about his ex. Literally, ever. The only time he even mentioned it was one brief conversation about when was his previous relationship and why it ended, in our early months of dating. Other than that he has never brought it up. That past is the past. Let it go an move on. It's not relevant. So,…
/r/askFDS13/10/20 11:28 PM
27

There are so many reasons why other people may not recognize your worth, don't take that to mean that you have none! They may not love themselves, they may have unresolved childhood trauma, they may be completely unable to love and are simply not capable of forming bonds and secure attachments with other people. You may simply be incompatible. There are so many brilliant, beautiful and loveable women out there who have been treated awfully. It's a them problem not a you problem.
/r/askFDS13/10/20 08:43 PM
10

I like to listen to "positive affirmations" videos on YouTube! This is one of my favorites. Some of the highlights: I am worthy of feeling solid within myself. I deserve to give myself the gift of total acceptance. I am whole. I am complete. It is safe for me to be me.
/r/askFDS13/10/20 05:09 PM
28

Men say they're visual creatures and then don't have a single piece of decor in their home. Can't put together a matching outfit. "Don't notice" the crumbs they leave on the floor. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:10 PM
7

This is destruction of property. Not only is it a form of abuse, it is literally a crime (depending on where you live, in my state it's a misdemeanor charge). You did the right thing for dumping him, but you could also file a police report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 07:06 PM
2

Question 1: It's too late now. You need to just let go and start right with someone else. FDS advises to wait at least 90 days before sex in order to weed out the LVM. If this guy was content treating you this way and having this dynamic with you, he doesn't value you. Don't "hang out" with men. Do not accept low-effort dates. This will help you avoid this netflix & chill type of men. Question 2: Major red flag. Just block and move on. Question 3: No, definitely not. If you're a HVW then it's ob…
/r/askFDS12/10/20 02:03 PM
4

Thank you! That means a lot. I've learned so much from this sub, all I want is to share that same empowerment and encouragement to other women who need it, spreading the FDS gospel!
/r/askFDS12/10/20 05:04 AM
6

Exactly! I completely agree, thank you for this vital addition.
/r/askFDS12/10/20 05:02 AM
8

I mean, if y'all wanna found relationships on ultimatums, go for it. It's not a good idea to reveal your cards like that. Men will lie to get what they want. They'll love bomb. He'll do it because he knows that's what you want not because that's who he is. Let them show you who they are. A man taking too long to bring up exclusivity is a major red flag. I would just move on at that point, because it's clear we don't want the same things. It's pickme behavior to wait around and try to convince a …
/r/askFDS11/10/20 05:55 PM
12

I read it as Post-Partum Depression at first 🤦🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:27 PM
22

Oh no. If it comes to this, it's time to move on. You should never need to be asking for clarity. A man who values you will make it clear that he is exclusive and he will be the first to ask for it (as it should be men are biologically and socially conditioned to pursue and mate-guard). You shouldn't be having sex with a man who has not committed in the first place, and you shouldn't have to ask for commitment. If you do, you're setting yourself up for an entire relationship of begging for what …
/r/askFDS11/10/20 03:18 PM
1

Do not ask him, do not even bring it up. He is the one who will bring it up, men pursue. 4-6 dates is plenty of time to know if someone is commitment worthy for a man who wants to. If he hasn't brought it up by then, he is not the one. Block and move on. Because he is wasting your time.
/r/askFDS11/10/20 03:15 PM
17

Girl, that's not a good age gap. Those men, at that age, and on OLD, are not worth your time. They are the "leftovers" or the ones who never prioritized relationships in the first place (otherwise they'd be married) and for them to even be interested in someone as young as you shows that they want to take advantage of you. They want someone too young and naive to know that they ain't shit. Trust me, I'm mid 20's as well and my HVM bf is even a year younger than I am. They're out there. You can d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:47 PM
2

I edited my comment. Check out the second paragraph I added! I explained it there. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:08 PM
3

It doesn't. There are plenty of women on this sub with no intentions of marrying, marriage benefits men WAY more than it benefits women. No where in FDS does it say marriage has to happen, unless that is YOUR personal goal. With that being said, living together, playing wifey, and giving him husband privileges (aka having his kids among other things) is NOT fds standard, without recieving the ultimate commitment from a man, no woman should put herself in that position. Many men expect these thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:00 PM
2

It doesn't sound like these people respect you. If they think they are better than you and are putting you down, for any reason, then they aren't your friends. Friends encourage, support, and lift each other up. These people sound like arrogant assholes. I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Dating is hard, especially with the world we live in. Just be aware that even on Hinge, many guys are just looking for free prostitutes. I've seen many profiles where they brazenly state "not looking fo…
/r/askFDS09/10/20 04:35 PM
9

Seconding Why Does He Do That?. It's the most life changing book I've ever read.
/r/askFDS07/10/20 10:07 PM
21

Exactly! Too much of a coward to even admit he is a coward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:43 AM
31

It really depends how depraved they are. Some men are not deterred by other men because they feel THAT entitled. Maybe they even get off, in some twisted way, on the challenge of it. I was walking with my boyfriend and a group of three young guys (honestly they couldn't have been older than 19) pulled up right next to us and one of them leaned out the window, looked at me in this "attempting to be sultry" way and said, "Yo, you got the fattest ass ever!". My boyfriend was standing right next to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:12 PM
8

It happens to me all the time. If I take out my phone and start filming they just get even more mad. Best to do it discreetly (just to capture audio) if you want to do it that way. Best thing to do is completely ignore them. Don't even look over. Pretend you didn't hear. If it's really bad maybe you can snap a pic of their license plate when they are driving away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 03:06 PM
12

Thank you! It's like, Dude, we are taking all of the facts into consideration. All of them. It seems like the only fact he wants us to consider is that he changed his mind and regrets doing so sooner. Does he seriously think that's good enough? Like it somehow erases the fact that he treated this woman like a prostitute for 8 months??! I bet he only regrets it because things didn't work out his first choice, the girl he actually wanted. He was clearly holding out hope for someone else to come al…
/r/askFDS03/10/20 02:29 AM
9

Thank you for that, I am going to check it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 12:38 AM
33

I'm half black, and I can say with confidence. There is no other race of men who hate and despise women of the same race as much as black men do. Never in my life have I been as objectified, as violently harassed, as insulted, and as threatened by any man as I have been by black men, and that's even with the privilege I have as a "light-skinned" black woman. Misogynoir is real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 12:21 AM
6

It has nothing to do with sexuality and everything with intimidation. That's a myth. It definitely has to do with sexuality, too. This article is about rape but it applies to all forms of sexual assault. It's backed by science. Rape is Not (Only) About Power; It’s (Also) About Sex: The dominant cultural narrative about rape is at odds with the facts.
/r/askFDS03/10/20 12:06 AM
23

Agree. Even a witty clap back is too validating for them imo. They want attention, no matter what kind. "Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 11:40 PM
3

She has been acquaintances with him for 2 years. That's a pretty decent amount of time to know if you're interested in someone. I understand where you're coming from, and it's a totally valid point, but it feels patronizing in this context. I trust that OP knows herself better than any of us do; and I think the person who's opinion matters most is OP and she knows how she feels about this guy.
/r/askFDS02/10/20 02:40 AM
5

Honestly, I feel like this is telling her to settle. Isn't it kind of desperate, or perhaps even acting out of scarcity, if you feel like you need to give someone a chance despite the lack of chemistry? So many people are die hard for chemistry but chemistry doesn't mean compatibility either. No, it doesn't, but the two aren't mutually exclusive either. You can have both. Why settle? She knows she doesn't like the guy, and she's happy. why make her doubt her own instinct?
/r/askFDS02/10/20 02:30 AM
6

It was well known that he was interested in me, but he was respectful and didn't make any advances while I was with my ex. A few months after the breakup (just before COVID lock down) we saw each other again, he asked for my number. This kind of thing is always so creepy to me, tbh. Like a predator just waiting to jump on it's prey as soon as they are alone. Typical orbiter/nice guy. If it was "well known" then he couldn't have been that respectful. Most people's crushes aren't known. Just say w…
/r/askFDS02/10/20 02:27 AM
17

Yes, please tell her. I would want to know if my boyfriend were cheating as well. Plus, he is literally be putting her life and fertility (some STDs can cause permanent infertility in women) in danger by exposing her to STD/STI's. Do so anonymously if you want by making a new account. Send her the screenshots and explained what happened. Even if she doesn't believe you, at least you've done the right thing, and if she finally does catch him, she will have that as a back up.
/r/askFDS02/10/20 02:20 AM
14

Immediately call the poilce. Get a photo of him if possible and file a police report. You should still go to the police and file a report. That was a serious crime and this man is dangerous.
/r/askFDS02/10/20 02:14 AM
24

How long is it okay to keep tinder after making a relationship official? It's never okay to keep tinder after making a relationship official. As soon as the words are spoken, it should be deleted. On Sunday I told her I'd like to just call it what it is and asked her if that sounds good for her too. And she seemed like she agreed. Honestly, it sounds like this thing was done pretty informally. I wouldn't be surprised if she still doesn't take it seriously or thinks you guys are just FWB. I would…
/r/askFDS02/10/20 02:12 AM
2

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you for explaining that for me!
/r/askFDS30/09/20 04:23 PM
6

My last boyfriend told me that I have the personality of a girl that is 250+, so I know some men share my life experience. Oof. What a bizarre and misogynistic thing to say. I think that was a neg. All of that is just your own personal experience, which means it is anecdotal evidence. There is no scientific evidence indicating that a person's looks correlate with their personality. I’ve personally never met a poor, subjectively “ugly”, less intelligent/educated guy that is stuck up or a player h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 09:43 PM
14

There is no correlation between someone's looks and their personality. Do you think chubby women have better personalities than fit women? It's a huge generalization and it's just not true. Anyone can be an asshole, just like anyone can be a genuinely amazing human being regardless of what they look like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:50 PM
7

Idk maybe it's an age thing but I'm 25 and I just could not be in a relationship with someone I don't find attractive, and I only find objectively hot men attractive, and even a smaller percentage of those men have sex appeal to me. Looks don't take precedence, but if I cringe at the thought of kissing him it's not just gonna work out, and dad bods certainly have that effect on me. Especially since I am fit myself. My boyfriend's body is hard and muscular when I touch him, and it feels amazing a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:46 PM
4

Idk my HVM has six pack abs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 08:40 PM
6

I dislike the whole “I’m accustomed to more formal dates,” response idea. Do you really want to date a man who you have to negotiate with from the jump and teach how to treat you from step one? No. That's why based on his response you block and move on. Just like with your example. I don't see how the two are different? Can you explain a bit more how this is negotiating? It's a statement, not a request. I actually think that in my example you're showing him how you deserve to be treated and are …
/r/askFDS29/09/20 05:27 PM
13

I had know idea who Sienna Miller was 🤷🏽‍♀️ But Chadwick is a household name around these parts. Especially for black people in america, his success is a big deal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:02 PM
7

I had know idea.who Sienna Miller was 🤷🏽‍♀️ But Chadwick is a household name around these parts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:01 PM
1

Oh definitely. I mean ideally she never would have went on the trip and she would have dumped him the moment she found out about it! I haven't seen Hereditary yet, I'll have to check it out. Is it scarier than Midsommar? I have to say, horror movies are generally not my thing 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:50 PM
9

What does he even offer you? Seems like a waste of your energy to be keeping him around. I would find it innappropriate if the roles were reversed and my partner was still friends with an ex fwb.
/r/askFDS28/09/20 09:41 PM
32

All great suggestions already. You could also go with, "I'm accustomed to a more formal setting." It's a simple, "No, thank you." He can step up and ask you on a real date or you can block and move on. Also, I happen to be straight edge and don't drink alcohol at all, so if you're like be you have an automatic reason why it wouldn't work!
/r/askFDS28/09/20 09:34 PM
3

Sorry, I edited my comment to better reflect what I actually meant. Its not you in particular who is excusing them, it's the patriarchal society we live in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:30 PM
1

Oh, I misunderstood you. I definitely was not rooting for the cult or the people in it. The only person I was rooting for was Dani throughout the entire film.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:27 PM
3

They just need a hole and are just THAT horny Nah. It's not because they are THAT horny. They ain't slaves to their hormones. We have to stop giving them excuses. It's for one reason only: because they feel entitled to it. They feel entitled to using people, animals, and things for their own pleasure. They think sex is their right, and not a privilege.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 08:21 PM
1

Why are you on this thread coming at anyone who liked the movie? That's a great write up, you should write your own essay about it. But people are allowed to resonate with a film differently than you have. That's all your interpretation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 08:12 PM
16

This is a good question! I met my boyfriend in college. We were in class together as well as both a part of the play the Performing Arts department was putting on that semester. He was a lead actor and I was Stage Managing. We were in the same friend/aqqaintance group from that and would do things like play D&D outside of rehearsals before he asked me out. Honestly, I've never met anyone on OLD I actually like (they are fine for friendships but there's no attraction on my end and I only swipe ri…
/r/askFDS28/09/20 02:00 AM
2

From what the filmmaker has explained, the whole thing is meant to be a fairytale, not literal. He wrote it after a breakup. I always assumed she would go back home, but yes, that's fucked up (as much of the movie is).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 01:53 AM
7

I love that movie. The ending is super cathartic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:22 PM
5

Forgiveness. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not for others. Forgive him, forgive yourself and let go. It will free you from the negative energy. There is a book called "The Mastery of Love" that has a chapter in forgiveness. I reccomend grabbing a copy from the library if you can. Look forward to all the wonderful and joyous opportunities that have opened up for you.
/r/askFDS27/09/20 06:12 PM
8

He is allowed to want his children to eat meat just as you are allowed to want them to be vegetarian. Having different parenting styles is a major incompatibility. If this is a dealbreaker for both of you, and not something you're willing to compromise on (maybe we weekday vegetarians and eat meat on weekends? Maybe be pescatarians?) then you are simply not compatible. You met at a young age and a lot will change as you continue to grow and evolve. The purpose of relationships is to find out the…
/r/askFDS27/09/20 06:09 PM
16

I don't understand. It sounds like you did the opposite of FDS.
/r/askFDS27/09/20 05:48 PM
14

Don't split bills. He has a good job, you're a student. He should be happy to provide for you.
/r/askFDS27/09/20 05:47 PM
10

The Handbook and I know the advice says I should dumb fox it and see if he keeps the conversation going No, I don't think it does. The second a man crosses your boundaries or objectifies you block and delete. He just lost his privilege to talk to you. You are doing the right thing. Take no shit, refuse to settle. edit: typos
/r/askFDS27/09/20 05:30 PM
12

This is so toxic. You should break up, let her go be with someone who loves themselves. You are so caught up in your own negativity that Im sure it's affecting your feelings for her. You sound paranoid and it doesn't seem like you trust her at all. Get therapy, you're not in a mentally healthy enough place to be in a relationship. I made a mistake and dated a much younger girl once before meeting her How much younger? And how is intentionally choosing to date someone with an innappropriate age g…
/r/askFDS27/09/20 05:09 PM
10

I guess it depends if that's the truth or not. There are plenty of cons to social media. If it's true, I would find it a plus. Most men use social media for porn nowadays anyway.
/r/askFDS26/09/20 06:24 AM
11

Him starting this whole thing by saying "you're hot" is a red flag. That's not a HV way to approach a woman. Compliments that are based on your appearance often indicate a player who just wants sex because they objectify you. The fact that it then took him months to actually ask you out also indicates he doesn't take you seriously. He's shopping around. If you haven't already, read the handbook. Particularly "Establish Queen Energy from Day one". Understand that you are the prize and he should t…
/r/askFDS26/09/20 06:18 AM
23

The only person who gets upset when you set boundaries is the person who benefited from you having none. Set firm boundaries, anyone who will not respect them or who tries to pressure or coerce you into doing something you aren't comfortable with is not worth your time. There definitely are HVM men who genuinely respect women and will respect your boundaries. As the previous commentor mentioned, demisexual and asexual people may be the safest option for you. However, I still reccomend getting co…
/r/askFDS26/09/20 06:14 AM
5

No, you said that "rape is rarely about sex" when in fact it's almost always about sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:36 PM
4

Nope. this is a myth and not what psychology shows us to be the case. Current scholarship on rape further undermines the "rape is about power" narrative. Rape is about power, but it's also about sex. It's a ridiculous statement that I see touted on Reddit all too often.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 07:04 PM
6

Yes. I called the domestic abuse hotline once when I was being physically and emotionally abused by my ex and they mentioned that him breaking objects and punching walls etc. is physical abuse, even if he hadn't actually hit me (which he did end up doing).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 06:08 PM
25

The chance to masturbate into a woman instead of his hand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:16 AM
14

If I wanted to go for walks and visit fields I'd rather go with my dog. What is it with men and fields?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 05:41 PM
7

All my classes are online this semester and I feel the exact same way. It's so hard. Some things that have helped me: Going to a quiet coffee shop or library to do schoolwork and attend zooms. Having a clean, organized, dedicated workspace. Instead of beinging your laptop to your bed or on the couch, have a desk to make your designated workspace, like a little home office. I'm hoping to get a nice standing desk soon. Putting my phone on airplane mode/do not disturb. Going outside everyday. I go …
/r/askFDS23/09/20 04:53 AM
4

Even though we met online What the heck does this mean? Are you saying you have full permission to just use her for sex or something because you met online? Many people on OLD are looking for a committed relationship. Some of them get married to the person they met online. I get the feeling you've been using this poor girl and are blaming her because, "what a silly thing to expect from someone you met online! she should have known better." Is that your thought process?
/r/askFDS22/09/20 04:34 PM
6

So he was basically proposing that he would be your pimp. Yep. He would also bring it up after hard days at work. I felt so guilty and pressured, I almost did it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 02:52 AM
30

Hello, This is a good place to start but it all feels quite general. I'm doing fine, but I'm unhappy What specifically are you unhappy with? Do you have any advice? What specifically would you like advice on? We can be more helpful if you are specific. Some other info that might help, why did your relationship deteriorate or in what way (ex: lack of communication, infidelity, etc.)? Do you have a good support network or close relationships with friends and family? Working a computer job means to…
/r/askFDS22/09/20 02:38 AM
8

My ex kept telling me we'd never have to work again if I made an only fans. 😔He'd say it to cheer me up if I was feeling bad about myself. Like it was some kind of compliment! It always made me feel so objectified and gross though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/20 12:21 AM
16

Exactly! Homo Sapiens have existed for 200,000 years and nobody had an issue with body hair. It's all about that $$$
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:43 PM
5

25 and feel the same way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:36 PM
16

I swear its jealousy. Like they can DEFINIteLY tell those guys are more fashionable than them. Maybe they are too lazy or too cowardly to just actually like... go on Youtube or google Tan France and learn how to dress?! their trying to hide it to protect their egos, but there's definitely some insecurity causing them to lash out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 10:35 PM
18

If he's too much of a coward to ask you out then he's not the one for you. You were also direct about wanting to wait, which was setting up a boundary and he had the audacity to want to violate that? I think he was testing your boundaries. Move on, he's had his chance. You shouldn't have to pursue or initiate.
/r/askFDS21/09/20 01:36 AM
8

If it's been a couple months he should have asked you to become exclusive by now. If he hasn't brought it up yet he has no intentions to. You are being strung along.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 10:49 PM
8

This literally read like a gay mans fantasy. He is into bears. Also, straight girls don't refer to themselves as "straight girls". Why would that be relevant when "she" is obvously talking about her attraction towards men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:21 PM
7

If you ever see it on here definitely report it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 10:19 PM
14

Also weighted blankets!!! They are terrific for anxiety.
/r/askFDS19/09/20 04:45 PM
2

This is a cute activity for an established couple, but not the dating phase IMO. I agree!
/r/askFDS18/09/20 10:24 PM
15

They have no shame. Probably get off on it too, trying to emasculate the other dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:37 PM
5

When I say a national park I'm talking about a planned hiking trip with legitimate gear, like a 15 mile hike with hammocks and food. That costs money and takes time, effort, and skill to prepare for. You have to do research and know what you're doing. Just visit r/campingandhiking, that gear ain't cheap. I think it's attractive when a man has good survival skills and is fit enough to manage something like that. This wouldn't be a good idea for a first date though, it could be dangerous to be out…
/r/askFDS18/09/20 08:48 PM
16

Seriously, I get hit on when I'm out with my bf all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 08:10 PM
8

Me too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 06:17 PM
23

There are nice places you could walk. A botanical garden, a zoo or aquarium, a museum or gallery, national parks. If it is a walk through the park then he should plan a picnic. Get food, have an elaborate set up with blankets and a little speaker for music. You can do it socially distanced too just set your blankets 6 feet apart. Either way, it's his job to figure out. Not yours. You don't need to be offering suggestions, the whole internet is available to him as a resource. If it's too much tro…
/r/askFDS17/09/20 08:23 PM
5

You can't tell if someone is actually a HVM until a significant amount of time has passed. Men can love-bomb and keep up an act for months even years before reverting back to their natural LVM selves.
/r/askFDS17/09/20 04:01 PM
7

Based on some of the language you use, I think you may be codependent. The truth is, he has a right to leave if he couldn't handle it. Everyone has different boundaries, different breaking points. Don't tell yourself it's because "He wasn't willing to put up with me". That's writing a story that doesn't serve you. Simply, it wasn't working out. You have things you want to work on, and it was too great of an incompatibility. Keep trying to move forward. There is so much more out there for you! I'…
/r/askFDS15/09/20 11:38 PM
9

If you don't mind me asking, why specifically are you not ready for each other? Why did you break up? The most important thing for letting go is loving yourself and believing in yourself. Don't have a scarcity mindset. Focus on your own joy and happiness. Tell yourself, "I deserve the absolute best the universe has to offer me". You two broke up for a reason, there is clearly some incompatibility there if you "can't be together". There is so much love available out there for you. Why settle?
/r/askFDS15/09/20 06:56 PM
13

Hey there! I can't offer specific advice for you but I wanted to invite you over to r/femalelevelupstrategy which is the non-dating version of this sub! You may find it useful.
/r/askFDS15/09/20 06:49 PM
31

He's future faking, wasting your time, and leading you on. It's very simple, men will lie to get what they want. He only wants sex, attention, a FWB. He enjoys the dopamine you supply him with, not you. You are absolutely correct, he hooked you in with the promise of a relationship knowing damn well he didn't want one. All of the stuff he's saying about his "feelings" and "pain" is to manipulate you and turn it around to make him seem like a victim. Never tell a man what you want, never say that…
/r/askFDS15/09/20 06:40 PM
27

The issue is that, if marriage is your goal, you will end up doing all of the labor too. If you live with this man, it is very likely that you will be making more money while also doing all the housework, cooking, raising the kids, doing all of the emotional labor etc. That is not an equally yoked relationship. If he is truly a HVM, then that won't be the case and he will be happy to do his share.
/r/askFDS14/09/20 08:32 PM
38

Well he texts me the next day and says he's going to be in my neighborhood, and asks if he can come by. Immediately this set off an alarm bell in my head. I think it's too early for him to be just popping by. Correct, it's too early. I see two scenarios. I think he was hoping for a hook up. He probably can sense that you won't be so easy and is moving on. You dodged a bullet. You said that you went on the date this past weekend and haven't heard from him since, but today is only Monday. So has i…
/r/askFDS14/09/20 06:45 PM
29

Or is he just expecting the women to do all the work for him... Cause that's definitely not a HV trait. All of the information is out there for him to learn, we don't need to spoon feed it to him.
/r/askFDS13/09/20 08:24 PM
16

Me too. Even though I knew deep down it was wrong and how badly it hurt me, I felt like I had no choice. It truly breaks my heart to see the girls who post on relationship advice about their boyfriend/husband's porn addiction, get told "it's completely normal" "everyone does it" "he's not doing anything wrong it's all a fantasy" "don't be so controlling!" when clearly it is hurting her! I wish more women would understand that just because a lot of other women tolerate it doesn't mean you have to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:59 PM
3

Oh definitely. I wasn't taught that women could have orgasms too until high school health class (and I had it in elementary and middle school as well).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 05:52 PM
30

I thought that was wierd too. It's probably some guy larping. It's pretty easy to call out troll posts that involve pregnancy. They usually get it completely wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:33 PM
9

Wow! That guy has a LOT of issues. Glad you are free of that nonsense.
/r/askFDS13/09/20 06:06 AM
7

Have you read the handbook? FDS reccomendations is to be dating other men and keep your options open. If he hasn't clarified exclusivity then you are not exclusive. Don't give him wifey privileges just like that.
/r/askFDS13/09/20 04:10 AM
8

This sub is clogged up enough with heavily reposted memes and trivial things. It used to be much more profound. I joined this sub back when it had maybe 10,000 members and each post was a well thought out and useful article.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 03:58 AM
20

Oh my God! That will strip the natural oil from your body and leave you with dry af damaged skin and hair. I bet he used it everyday too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 02:15 AM
39

Because he wants to keep controlling you. He feels like he owns you and if you stop having contact he is losing that ownership. Block him, he doesn't respect you. He doesn't miss you. He misses what you supplied him with: time, attention, validation.
/r/askFDS13/09/20 01:50 AM
-6

Just block em
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 01:36 AM
43

I do 👌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 12:24 AM
195

and anti-porn. I've unfortunately seen quite a few women on here saying they watch porn and defending men watching it in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:37 PM
10

T H A N K Y O U! 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:37 PM
85

I think we should report those comments when we see them. I've noticed and influx lately and I'm sure it's people who haven't read the handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:36 PM
16

I respectfully disagree. Some women do change their appearence for men. I was in an abusive relationship with a man who beat me down so bad. He would make negative comments about my appearance, neg me, point out girls he found attractive who looked nothing like me, cheat and say he had to because they were his type and I wasn't. Told me I wasn't any man's preference. By the end of that I was researching cosmetic surgeries. Looking to change every little aspect about myself to fit the mold, to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:59 PM
5

This made my day. It's nice to see men putting in effort for a change!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:36 PM
5

Some of these dudes are attracted to our body type over yours. A vast amount of them, actually. Wow, okay. I guess it's a competition now to see who gets the most validation from men. Seriously, I'm sorry my comment upset you. I'm glad you have your HVM and you deserve it. I wish you the best and I hope you're able to focus on all the positivities of that relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:43 PM
21

Everyone has a right to be attracted to who they are attracted to, but that doesn't mean they will find you attractive too. She's literally talking about aspects of "looks" that are changeable. Im also fit, have a booty I grew from weightlifting and visible abs with healthy clear skin etc. I put in work to look this way. If I didn't, I wouldn't be as attractive. It's unreasonable for anyone who is lazy and out of shape to expect a partner that has six pack abs. Regardless of gender. We call out …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:28 AM
10

Yes you can. You must work on yourself. The saying, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself" is 100% true. I highly reccomend finding a good therapist. Work through your stuff, learn to love yourself, learn to forgive yourself and learn to trust yourself. There is a book called "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz that I think you would find useful. It's quick and easy to read.
/r/askFDS12/09/20 12:11 AM
2

Nothing wrong with being upfront! You can also say, "You don't meet my expectations" and, "You are not up to my standards."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:18 PM
44

Typical narcissist. Needing to be the center of everything and above everyone else. This is literally one of their greatest fears, being average. Narcissists literally see praise for other people as an attack on themselves, they are very sensitive people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 05:37 PM
5

Notice how he used the exact same age for both scenarios? 23 and 40? That's not a coincidence, it's bad creative writing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:17 AM
7

It's because they have none LOL they'll fuck anything with legs. They can't even comprehend why we would scrutinize because they're THAT desperate. It's so sad, the more women a man brags about getting (and this guy seems to want us to think it's a LOT) the bigger the void he's trying to fill. There goal is never to have a fulfilling meaningful relationship with just one person, the right person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:16 AM
16

I hope this man never has children. My abusive unfaithful ex would gaslight me with the same things, "all men are like this". So scary to think of the damage they'll do to their sons. You do not have to fight for anything in a healthy relationship. A relationship should not be a battle, it should be a canvas on which you can co-create something beautiful. No one who respects you would put you in the position to fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:08 PM
7

Any man who would want to "use" a sex doll should not be around real woman anyway. Please, remove yourself from the gene pool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:03 PM
141

I think a lot of the men who would make comments like that are just jealous that they've never had a healthy relationship modeled for them and have intimacy issues and will never be able to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with a woman. Like, they are the type of guy with an avoidant attachment style who stays single and immature for way too long, falls behind when everyone else in life and if they're lucky will find some pickme to put up with their bullshit while they rot in their own bi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 10:59 PM
3

That sounds like the dream ♥️ good for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:27 AM
15

I'm starting to think that all men are narcissitists and/or have ASPD. They just don't seem to have any empathy whatsoever for women as human beings. Is it nature or nurture? Are they this way because a patriarchal society let's them get away with it or is it just how their brains work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:09 AM
14

Exactly this. I won't date a man that uses instagram (I don't use it either). It's basically a porn site anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 02:22 AM
8

Hell no. Bet they been together 10 years already too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:21 AM
12

And if for some reason you must then for the love of God do not include your face or any identifying (tattoos, scars, birthmarks) features in them! Also, the photos you take on your phone contain metadata that can include coordinates of where the photo was taken. Be careful posting any photo on the internet or sharing it with someone if you want privacy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:38 PM
35

I wish she would tell him it is his fault. He's just gonna keep walking around acting like he's God's gift to women... I will straight up tell a man, "You're not good enough for me." 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:21 PM
13

Couples counseling is not reccomend ever with abusive men. They will manipulate the counselor and use what they learn to finesse their abusive behavior. Check out Lundy Bancroft's, "Why Does He Do That?" It was eye opening for me and more validating than anything to finally hear from someone who sees right through their bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:50 PM
148

Did anyone else read this in the Sk8er Boi melody? She was an open book, he was illiterate. Can I make it anymore obvious? LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 02:37 AM
17

Amen! Don't give just anybody access to your womb. Not enough women realize how valuable that really is. We have the evolutionary right to allow only the fittest, most capable man to reproduce with us. We have what men kill and die for, what they fight wars over. Getting pregnant permanently alters your body at best, and risks your life at worst. Women still die during childbirth and from complications. Don't put your life in danger for a man that doesn't even have a bed frame. What kind of prot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:24 PM
3

So completely oblivious! They always say “You have to tell us how you feel!” but when we do, it’s too much for them to handle 😂 Yes!!! "Men can't take hints" "we can't read your mind" But then when you tell them directly their like that mariah carey meme "I can't read suddenly. I don't know."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 07:10 PM
7

Ugh. What an asshole! He needed a girl too naive to see through his crap. Mine used to finally confess after a fight about him never taking me out, "I forgot. My needs were being met so I thought everything was fine." Or he'd say "Well you were laughing yesterday so you must be happy enough. You don't need that stuff." And yes we had the same arguement every week. 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:58 PM
15

Only a broke ass NVM would have no issue with his SO making an OnlyFans. A real provider would never make you do something like that to make ends meet. They are pimps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:29 AM
9

Honestly, it's easy to laugh at but these women have been MINDFUCKED. I've been there. The gaslighting and abuse really makes you question your own sanity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:21 AM
52

Their hands are tied too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:18 AM
14

Do they even know what incel means? I could fuck a different dude from tinder every night of the week if I wanted to. Dick is abundant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:16 AM
4

How much you wanna bet their 'engagement" will be at least another few years...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:15 AM
61

Good for you. He sounds just like my NVM ex. Except I put up with that shit for 3.5 years. I always thought it would change, but it didn't. He always had "no ideas" and was "happy staying home playing video games with you". You did the right thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:09 AM
14

You are completely right. You don't know who something really is until you've seen them in a high stress situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:06 AM
29

Three years ago? He needs to get over that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:04 AM
8

Echoing what the others have said. He is not a high value man, chatting up other girls and giving you side-hugs in public is a huge red flag. You dodged a bullet. You deserve better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 04:03 AM
17

I wouldn't be surprised if it was an intentional neg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 02:38 AM
5

I've had therapists throughout my life but not specifically for the effects of that relationship I was in. Finding a good therapist that handles trauma is definitely something I would like to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:58 PM
1

I agree with you about the hormones! That's why I have the copper IUD. It's 100% hormone free. It works because copper is a natural spermicide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 04:56 PM
13

I have period sex but have the opposite experience. I have no sex drive when I'm on my period, little to no sensation (it's too slippery from the blood) and extreme difficulty orgasming. I've heard orgasms can relieve cramps but for me it triggers cramps. It also hurts a LOT when he accidently hits my cervix. I have an IUD so maybe that's why it's more painful for me? When I'm ovulating though... That's when it's great. My sex drive is high, and sensitivity is turned all the way up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:26 AM
19

I once started crying during sex with my NVM ex, full on tears, shaking. He noticed and was like, "I can tell you're not having a good time so I'll just hurry and finish quick" and continued while I lay there sobbing. Afterwards he had the audacity to act like he did the right thing by "hurrying up". I literally want to vomit typing this out. Ugh. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:37 AM
13

The absence of a "no" is not a yes. I was also assaulted on a date because I got so scared and froze. He just kept going. I felt the same way, confused and ashamed. Think about what I should have done. You are not alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 03:34 AM
6

From my perspective as a 25 year old who is also living in an apartment at a similar stage of life, it does not have to be "luxury living" but it should still be nice, organized, and clean. Little things like having an area rug, indoor plants, nice floor length curtains (instead of those cheap pull blinds that come with most apartments), hung artwork, and ambient lighting make a HUGE difference. Check out the top posts on r/malelivingspace to get some ideas. You could even post your space and as…
/r/askFDS31/08/20 04:44 AM
2

For non TV entertainment I really reccomend board games and puzzles! Catan is super fun. You could also get a deck of Cards of Humanity. Art supplies are also a great option. With a few multi-use sketchbooks and colored pencils, markers, paints there are so many options!
/r/askFDS31/08/20 04:41 AM
2

I appreciate the advice and I can tell that it's coming from a good place. I'll take it into consideration for the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:26 AM
5

Girl, this is FDS. We hold each other accountable. I myself have been in situations where I need to take responsibility for bulldozing through red flags while wearing rose-tinted safety glasses. What helped? Accepting that sometimes my problems are my own damn fault. I big fat, "You fucked up." I needed to get a grip. it serves zero purpose to the OP for her current situation It absolutely does serve purpose as a learning experience. OP will know what to do and what to expect of future relations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 05:55 PM
4

That's wild! 25% of his back is a LOT. I think some guys think tattoos are more masculine or rugged or something? Like it makes them look more tough?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:03 PM
2

Oh damn, I never thought of it that way! I knew he did it to control me but you're right. He knows I could have held it against him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 10:00 PM
12

That's awful omg. I can't believe how LVM/NVM are willing to live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:29 PM
3

That's great to hear!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:27 PM
10

He literally wouldn't LET me clean. Like, I couldn't make the bed because he found it comfier messy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:10 PM
3

https://www.moneyunder30.com/why-you-should-never-lease-a-car
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:31 PM
1

I don't understand how men cannot "find" the clit??? Would it be more appropriate to say that they don't know what a clitoris even is? That's like me saying I can't "find" his balls. It's a piece of anatomy, tf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:24 PM
9

Me too. I've always found tattoos unattractive, personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:16 PM
10

This is so socially inept. It's a good example of why you should never show your cards and tell someone your "type" or what you're looking for outright because they'll shape shift into it to manipulate you. Let them show you who are they. He's only asking so he can pretend to be that guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:16 PM
6

"You're not like the other girls" manipulative BS. When men tear down other women it's a red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:13 PM
2

Oh, it's definitely from an unhealthy place in me because it's from trauma. I have PTSD from my last relationship. That man might as well have put my brain in a blender with all the mind games he played. He did so much unfaithful, depraved shit that I didn't even know was possible. It really opened my eyes to what men are capable of because I've never met a woman who would even think of doing those things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:15 PM
6

That's literally awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you, that's despicable and a crime. Mine would bring it up everyday that, "if you just made an OnlyFans, we'd never have to work again!" and guilt me when I asked to be taken on a nice date or get a gift for my birthday by saying stuff like "If you just made an OnlyFans I'd be able to afford it."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:13 PM
2

Yep. A lot of it if just straight up trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 04:09 PM
4

Profiles like this are just outing these men as undesirable because they only get this frusterated and bitter after getting no matches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:05 AM
45

My LVM-ex kept trying to convince me to make an Only Fans because I'm so hot that "We'd be rich". Emphasis on the "we". Like any of that would be his money lmfao. He really tried to PIMP ME OUT 🤢 and saw nothing wrong with it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:02 AM
29

It's because men want to have sexual access to all women without having to "work" for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 07:00 AM
13

That's great! I now have no sexual attraction to men at all. I've have only had bad experiences and not a single good one, so. My brain and my body both know it will just be a disappointment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 02:03 AM
3

I'm stuck living with my LVM-Ex who keeps pulling knives and threatening to kill himself everytime I remind him we are broken up. He also accuses me of leading him on when I treat him like a normal friend/roommate. I feel that I need to be extra attentive to his feelings due to how violent and explosively emotional he gets when I talk about leaving. I'm stuck in a lease until March. Couldn't move even if I wanted to because I can't afford to pay rent for two places (he's also broke). I also can'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 12:27 AM
43

I'm laughing so hard at this, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 09:54 PM
2

Is your sunscreen SPF 30 or higher? Do you use a vitamin C serum? Do you have fair skin?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 10:59 PM
119

Men don't age well. They talk about us hitting a wall, but the complete absence of skincare (mainly sunscreen) has them looking dull and weathered real quick. Even the fit ones still have premature wrinkles and tough leathery skin. Don't even get me started on the receding hairlines...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 05:33 AM
24

You should actually wait at least 30 minutes after eating to brush your teeth. Otherwise you are just rubbing the acids into your enamel and breaking it down!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:50 PM
25

who had the same toothbrush for FIVE. FUCKING. YEARS. 🤢🤢🤢🤮 This is one of the nastiest things I've ever heard
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:48 PM
1

I understand. If you have a BFF maybe you can try to spend some more time with her? I know it's a different type of closeness but it might help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:33 PM
1

If you had already been hooking up he has literally no incentive to commit to you. It never works like that. You need to block this guy because he will never respect you. Always establish Queen energy from the start (it's in the handbook).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:32 PM
3

Happy you are here ♥️♥️♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:30 PM
1

Someone else on here suggest asking, "What kind of porn do you watch?" In like a lighthearted way. If they don't watch porn, they will say they don't watch it and the guys who do will think you're okay with it so they won't lie. If you just ask "Do you watch porn?" then they obviously can just lie and say, "No."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:30 PM
1

Just say, "This isn't working for me, it's best we go out separate ways." and then block. You can also say, "I'm not interested in continuing this." You don't need to give them a reason why. Its straight to the point, but not rude. In fact, you're doing them a favor by being honest and not leading them on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:25 PM
2

That's the advice for those who do want to get married. If you don't want to ever get married, you probably still shouldn't live with a man. You'll end up in the maid role.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:22 PM
2

Just keep going about your life. Don't stress about one man. Keep leveling-up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:20 PM
1

This is great to hear!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:15 PM
4

Exactly this. I love to cook, it's much healthier and a better investment than eating out, and I'm good at it. I would not date a grown ass man (or woman) that can't cook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:13 PM
10

I'm sorry but, you don't cook? May I ask why? How old are you? I think cooking is a valuable skill that all adults should have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:12 PM
1

Do you have any friends you are close with?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:10 PM
7

I agree that it's not a red flag depending on his age, location (real estate is ridiculously expensive in a lot of places) and also mindset. If he knows living with roommates isn't ideal and is eager to have his own place soon, that's a good sign. It also depends on the roommates, are they respectful and mature? Do they have a clean, well designed place? If they are slobs it's a red flag that he's okay living like that. Someone living with their parents is a huge red flag, unless theyve had some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:09 PM
10

That's really, really creepy. Do you carry pepper spray or a taser with you? I'd look into that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 05:04 PM
9

A simp and a HVM are not the same thing. I've always believed that simps don't actually see us as people. They pedastalize women in a very objectifying and dehumanizing way. They are extremely desperate and just want what's between our legs. HVM aren't desperate. It's upsetting to me when guys (usually the teenagers and immature ones) on reddit see a guy do anything nice for a girl and call "Simp!". I really worry for the up and coming generation. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:56 PM
3

How'd the date go? Sounds low effort to me, even if he doesn't have a car he could bus somewhere to meet you. If it's a park date he could at least make it nice, set up some lights, bring you food, play music.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:46 PM
1

I've always felt this way. I can't count the number of crushes I've had in my entire life on one hand. I find very, very small amount of men attractive within that small amount and even smaller amount are HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:45 PM
2

You don't have to explain why you matched with them. Swiping right doesn't mean "I'm your girlfriend now" or "I want to have sex with you" (even though they sure do wish it did). It means "I'm interested in learning more about this person to see if I like them". Obviously, unmatching means you found out something you don't like. You could definitely just say, "We are not compatible" or "I'm not interested in continuing this." That's fair!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 04:40 PM
4

I love this!! A practical, helpful, thoughtful gift. Our environments definitely have an impact on out mental health. I'm so happy for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:54 PM
59

Have ya'll seen that one thread on askmen about why men hate the romance genre? They all said they hate it because romance is "work". This lead to someone leaving a heavily gilded and supported comment about the male romantic fantasy: The Male Romantic Fantasy I'd say that men usually feel most loved when this normal state of affairs is negated; when they are made to believe that a woman's love is not conditional in the cause-and-effect manner described in the parent post. Love is work for men, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 06:43 PM
22

What's the most high value thing a man has ever done for you? We see a lot of LVM behavior on this sub. What are some of the effortful things the men in your life have done to treat you like a prize?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 07:01 PM
6

Now that I think about it, my cheating narcissist father always liked to go on cruises 🤔 ladies if a man wants to go for a cruise it's a red flag. You heard it here 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:49 PM
7

Seriously, since when are cruises like the epitome of fun experiences lmao it's like what old boomers do for fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:04 PM
19

I swear, no race of men hates woman of the same race more than Black men. Misogynoir is really something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:27 PM
33

No it's not. Colorism is discrimination based on skin color, from members of the same race.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:24 PM
2

Absolutely! That's so awful, I'm glad that you are okay! My heart races everytime a car starts to slow down or pull over near me while I'm walking due to past experiences as well. Now I always carry pepper spray and a taser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 05:43 PM
85

Men treat the world like their own personal masturbatory buffet and it's fucking disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:51 PM
8

Yep. I guess men don't realize that nude colored make up exists. They think if a girl isn't wearing blue or green eyeshadow with bright red lipstick that she doesn't have make up on. Male lurkers here's somethin fun you can do. Go on YouTube and search "natural make up tutorial" or "no make up make up" and see how much actually goes into what you think is completely natural. Usually it's something like primer foundation concealer eyeshadow eyeliner mascara and even false lashes (they can look ve…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:28 PM
5

If you got cold approached often, how would it feel? Would it feel like a man felt like you were satisfactory to fuck, and thought he’d at least try? You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take right?! Cause that’s exactly what it is. THANK YOU 👏🏼 I'm one of those women who gets approached a lot too and you've articulated so well how objectifying and dehumanizing it is. Every. Single. Time. all I think in response is "oh, so you want to fuck me. How flattering /s." Who the absolute fuck wants to b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:18 PM
3

Wait, your first date is a picnic with you bringing all the food? Seems low effort on his part. He definitely doesn't see you as a prize if all he has to do is show up. You're doing all the work. Don't forget to establish Queen energy from the start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:06 PM
9

Because they know it's creepy for someone their age to be thirsting after young girls.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:20 PM
12

You should read, "Why does he do that?" By Lundy Bancroft. It lays everything out for you. Sometimes the quiet one can be just as dangerous. There are several types of abusers, that book will help you learn how to spot them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:16 PM
6

I get cold approached every time I'm out without my boyfriend but it's always by LVM, the player/PUA types. This used to happen daily when I went out for walks alone. Sometimes up to 3 times on the same walk. I don't think I've ever been cold approached by a HVM who genuinely saw me as a human being and wanted more than just sex. That makes sense since the PUA types are approaching solely based on my looks. They are desperate and it's so clear that they're cruising down the street asking every g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:11 PM
32

Not acceptable and LV: Anything sexual ("I wonder what you taste like") Calling you petnames (baby, dear, hun, babe, sweetie, cutie, etc.) emojis (😍🤤👅😘🍆🍑) Low effort ("what's up" "hey" "how r u") Poor grammar and spelling Pushing to meet up right away ("Come over to my place") Acceptable and HV: Asking something about your hobbies or info you've written in your bio. Compliments on your personality or achievements They should be treating you like a human being, respectfully and even professionall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:43 PM
1

I don't. That poor innocent child is now trapped with an abusive NVM as a father. I can't even imagine the suffering they'll endure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 03:27 AM
40

Wtf? This is literally abuse. Block him!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 03:17 AM
5

Yep, I'm also a woman of color so that aspect hurts too. Colorism is very prevalent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 02:18 AM
3

Can we please not? My body is NATURALLY more like the woman on the left and I am not a bimbo, I am not abnormal or unrealistic. I'm a regular ol woman too. Body shaming goes both ways. I actually don't like that the artist changed that about her because it perpetuates the idea that our bodies aren't acceptable. What does a "normal girl" look like to you? It really does read like you are trying to tear down the "hot girls...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 11:03 PM
20

Yep, and people accuse you of trying to "show off your curves" for wearing shorts when it's hot out (and even if a woman is, so what??) Men always act like everything I do is for them. I get street harassment a lot when I'm out for a walk. They are shocked when I'm not happy about it, like somehow my boobs and butt exist intentionally for them? ?? As if I somehow purposefully grew these to this size just so I'd get attention. Dude, I don't even know you exist. Nothing I do involves literally any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:20 PM
3

This is nice, but I would feel better when a man wanted to show off my accomplishments (graduation, promotion, new painting, book getting published etc.) rather than my looks. Otherwise it just feels objectifying, and throwing me out there to be objectified by other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:09 PM
1

Glad you left him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 05:05 PM
176

I hate how her boobs and butt get smaller in the original comic. I'm someone who's naturally built like the one on the left and regardless of how I dress I feel like I never get respected as much as less curvy women, who are treated as more "cute/innocent/wholesome".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 04:26 PM
5

You can still do all this and he'll still leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 03:52 AM
25

& it’s usually with a woman who’s lower value. Yep! I actually saw an article about a survey once, the majority of men said that they considered their affair partners to be less attractive than their SO, less in shape, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 03:51 AM
14

I've created an only fans account (never went through with it and deleted it). You need a photo of yourself with your ID in order for the account to be fully set up and made public. It takes several days for them to verify. Unless they've changed that, he can't get any further without you and your ID. It wont go public. I would suggest changing your email password just in case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 03:05 AM
12

I'm thinking this guy has intellectual disabilities. Sounds stunted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 06:49 PM
30

and don't let them manipulate and coerce you by crying "blue balls". It's not a dangerous or serious thing. In fact, hypertension from sexual frusteration effects women as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:03 PM
50

I really don’t understand the point of following people just because they are good looking . Because it's porn for them. I know, I was shocked when I found out too. But dudes be jerking off to your Facebook photos, guarantee. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:56 PM
3

Yes, definitely an insecurity they have. Probably internalized racism too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:22 PM
34

Correct. I'm a mixed woman (black and white) and constantly get harrassed by black men for dating a white guy. Interestingly, they always make it sexual. Once I was walking with my boyfriend and two black men pulled up, glared and one screamed "You don't fuck it right, though!" before speeding away. He didn't care how I was being treated as a human being, he cared how I was being fucked. Like an object. These same type of dudes love to openly fantasize about "snow bunnies" and brag about the non…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:44 PM
16

I would always get "That was in the past, I'm not that person anymore" even if it happened two days before lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:11 PM
14

Just proves that LVM are not capable of love. They do not have empathy for women and hardly see us as human. Of course meeting someone's standards is "jumping through hoops" if you don't love them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 07:22 PM
3

🏅🏅🏅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 07:19 PM
12

Why would a woman do this for a man? Most men don’t even appreciate flowers and stuff like that Literally came here to say this. Half of them don't even fucking care about romantic gestures like this. LVM just want sex and they could care less about anything else. If you go out if your way to be really thoughtful (in my pickme youth I had a notebook full of personal things I learned about my LV-ex so I could do all kinds of nice gestures for him that included his favorite foods, colors, places e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:14 AM
19

These links from the handbook might be helpful! I believe the official FDS rule is to wait at least 3 months + commitment, if they don't commit after 3 months, then move on. I can't find that specific post right now unfortunately! Establishing queen energy from day one (this one is a very in depth guide to basically how to handle the relationship from the very beginning) why sex shouldn't be had so easily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:03 AM
5

True! Most wealthy people didn't get wealthy by not tipping or paying their delivery bills though (unless we have different definitions of wealth, I'm talking 6 figures and up). You must have a high level income (and usually high level education or come from a wealthy background) in the first place. There are also an insane amount of wealthy people who are the type to buy a Lamborghini in every color just for fun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 11:16 PM
12

Absolutely. But there's a difference between being frugal and being cheap. Being frugal and investing wisely is great. It's good not to waste money needlessly. Cheap is being miserly, stingy to the point where it's negatively impacting your life, usually by stressing you out. For example, buying the cheap shit that keeps breaking instead of investing in a good quality "buy it for life" item. If paying 10$ for someone's food is like sacrificing an arm and a leg for them, then maybe they should ge…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:57 PM
26

Tbh it's not just the cheap/broke guys. My mom dated a literal heart surgeon, rich ass guy with a mansion and he wouldn't take her out to eat 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 07:27 PM
61

I go for walks everyday and am consistently shocked by how often I see young hetero couples out on dates just sitting on a bench in the park with NOTHING to do, and I can tell by their body language that it's an early date and not like they are in a LTR and just out for some fresh air. Like at LEAST have a nice picnic, with a blanket and some food and drinks. That alone takes barely any effort. You could even get some of those LED candles; bring a Bluetooth speaker. Use your brain!!!! Why do guy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:57 PM
16

exactly. Remember how he did Karen like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:35 AM
7

Definitely a red flag! He's not putting his whole attention and focus on you! Totally agree he should find a day/time where you aren't second place, especially for a first date! I'd be insulted. I guess the blocking depends on how he responds? Is he willing to change the plan?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 01:57 AM
5

Ew, he called you "dude"? You deserve so much better. Good for you for dropping this weight you shouldn't have to be carrying around! He's showing you who he is, actions speak louder than words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 08:51 PM
53

In my state in the USA you can look up court records using the state court system website for free. Just search a person's name and it will come up with anything they went to court for. I'm not sure if every state has public records available online, but just try googling your state and then "court records" and see if it allows you to look up cases by name. You can also go to the National Sex Offender Registry here here and search them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:16 PM
2

Wow, I live in the USA but it's not like that in my state. The only way to become a legal tenant is to sign a legal lease. Very interesting, thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 04:04 PM
1

I'm aware that he is staying there and I believe her too, It's relevant in a legal sense. If you aren't on the lease, you aren't a tenant, you're a guest. Therefore, you can be told to leave at anytime. Only tenants must be evicted. For example, if I went and just moved my stuff into some random person's house that doesn't just mean I live there. That's squatting and it's illegal. Also, where I live it's not usually allowed by landlords to just have someone over 18 start living in your apartment…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 05:43 PM
1

Oh, didn't know that. good to know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:28 PM
1

But he doesn't. His name isn't on the lease
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:28 PM
1

I'm wondering how come it isn't just considered trespassing? He has no legal right to her home, and no permission to be there, seems like the cops could just arrest him for trespassing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 04:04 AM
2

Oh, definitely. They'll say anything to protect their ego. They're good at convincing themselves. I do think though, that a man who has never had a woman fake an orgasm and who KNOWS he can't make a girl cum will have more humility about it (if not raging insecurity). and he won't keep trying useless techniques that he knows don't work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:46 PM
6

Oh, I agree. I had sex education classes all throughout high school and middle school and it somehow never dawned on me that women could have orgasms too until I was like 17. I never watched porn either so I didn't understand that men viewed sex that way because of porn until I had my first boyfriend confess to me that he had been a porn addict since he was 11 years old. He obviously didn't see it as an addiction at the time because it's so prevalent and normalized by society. I starting doing m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:25 PM
2

A 26 year old man abusing and taking advantage of a 19 year old girl. Who would have thought?! Age gaps are a red flag 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:51 PM
15

I've never faked an orgasm in my life and I really wish other women would stop doing it. It just makes things harder for us and easier for them. It allows them to gaslight us. They'll say things like "Well it worked for every other girl" and give up as if they shouldn't have to try anymore. NO. Let them know they're shit at sex. Let it sink in. Because they sure as HELL are going to let you know about your cellulite or body hair or the fact that you don't want to blow them or do anal. So many me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:47 PM
2

Yes, they isolate their victims from their families. There was one post a little while back with a large age gap and the woman was in a foreign country alone, her boyfriend being the only support person she had there. He clearly targeted her knowing she had no friends or family to help her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:55 AM
20

Girl, almost all of those types of posts on that sub have an age gap. Often, they started dating when the girl was still a teenager. Abusers and narcissists groom young women and prey on their naivety because they are easier to manipulate. It's not a coincidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 07:10 PM
11

Totally wasn't expecting that age gap! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:25 PM
12

Depends on her height and what kind of mass was gained. 20 pounds of pure fat on a 5'0 frame is a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:19 PM
13

I have to disagree with you that someone who is dangerously underweight or morbidly obese can be a HVM/HVW. There is something going on there, be it mental health or otherwise, but people who are truly healthy on the inside are healthy on the outside too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:17 PM
89

All adults should know how to cook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:28 AM
10

First thing I noticed, the awful blank seriel killer eyes 🤮 I couldn't look at that face everyday
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 03:27 AM
39

and don't give boyfriend privileges to a man that's not your boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:34 AM
25

Me too! These men are a danger to society. They deserve to be in prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 04:42 PM
11

Calling women like this "strong" and "mature" is exactly how they neg and manipulate women into staying in toxic relationships. "Oh, you were too weak and insecure to make it work". No. Strong would be leaving him. I'm terrified for his daughters. Just imagine how they will grow up and accept being treated just like their dad treats their mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 12:30 AM
13

Exactly. It's so obvious that this was written by a man. He's probably pissed he has to pay for nudes now. His desperation for some form of emotional intimacy has hit a huge wall now that it's obvious these women selling nudes could care less about him and just want his money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:22 PM
17

"Im a college female" No, I don't think you are. No college aged woman refers to herself that way. I can hear it in David Attenborough's voice, "Ah, and here we have the college female in her natural habitat."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:19 PM
41

Psychopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 06:17 PM
30

She's actually got 5. LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/20 12:09 AM
9

Objectifying women is so funny!! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:33 PM
42

Sucks she had a kid with him. That poor innocent baby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 10:25 PM
13

He's waiting for the perfect moment 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:25 AM
25

Me neither! These women give away their wombs like it's nothing. They're just incubators to LVM. Don't give husband privileges to a man who is not your husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 01:16 AM
1

You're not too shallow, but I feel you on this. I literally find less than 10% of men who I come across in my daily life attractive enough that I'd want to even date them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 12:33 AM
3

Hey! This is a good question. From my perspective, it does seem like a very low effort first date. He's not even directly asking to take you out on a date, and seems to be avoiding the word "date". Which sucks, leaving his intentions unclear (does he just want to hang out?). I've always found it a HV trait when men can be direct and say , "May I take you out in a date?" What would an ideal first date be for you? Perhaps you could say something like: "I appreciate the offer, but it sounds like we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 12:29 AM
29

I feel so bad for the ladies waiting to get a proposal and then I hear "we've been together for 11 years and have 2 kids". Girl, it's not happening... If he wanted to, he would have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 12:20 AM
19

Thank you. I am extremely traumatized from narcissitiac abuse and needed to hear this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 09:26 PM
21

Yep! There a multiple stories from women here on reddit who have been abused and literally have their lives in danger but they can't do anything because all the other cops are his buddies. Try to escape and run away? They'll illegally use their connections and tech to track you down and find you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:32 PM
3

It's honestly shocking the amount of people on Reddit who don't read the rules/wiki before participating in a sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:18 PM
48

Police are abusers though. At least 40% of police officers families experience domestic violence. Do not date cops. Power hungry narcissists are drawn to the job (my dad was a cop and mentioned the constant struggle of trying to weed through the psychopaths trying to get hired).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 09:16 PM
9

Not specific documentaries, but www.fightthenewdrug.org & www.yourbrainonporn.com are great resources to show him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 08:51 PM
18

Why am I not surprised he's holding a gun in his picture?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/20 08:46 PM
28

It comes across as very insecure. A confident person will make clear statements. Period. Lol protects them from rejection because "lol it's not that serious lol".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 07:48 PM
8

It's DARVO back at it again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 08:11 PM
5

Thank you! I'm slowly recovering from the mind games and learning to love myself again ❤️ I wish you all the best
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:41 PM
11

Mine did this too!! Since it was in the past he's "not that person anymore" so it was irrelevant to bring up and I should be over it immediately. Strangely when I ever did anything that hurt him he'd make it CLEAR and say "You've pushed me away and this will take a LONG time to get over". 🙄 Also accused me of being negative all the time for being sad that he treated me like shit. The mind games take a massive toll. It's almost like they don't see us as human. glad you got out of that situation. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:38 PM
15

He sounds like a dirtbag NVM. Sorry you went through that! My ex basically wouldn't ever let me voice my concerns or speak my truth without getting triggered and trying to kick me out of the house for being "abusive".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:28 PM
67

Same! My ex would tell me I was gaslighting him WHILE gaslighting me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 02:53 PM
47

Ya'll ever look at a guy's haircut and just think "He has no idea what he's doing." ? Cause I do. All the time. They be getting cuts that aren't flattering on them at all. Most men have literally no idea how to look good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 12:13 PM
244

My ex would tell me I was being abusive anytime I wanted to sit down and discuss the relationship!!!!! Me: "it really hurt me yesterday when you said I wasn't toned enough. Can we talk about it?" Him: "This is abusive!" edit: Men be like
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 12:09 PM
46

Yet disgusting depraved porn subs like r/rapekink and r/rapeconfessions are still up. Reddit is a porn site. They profit off of it and they know it. They are making their agenda abundantly clear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 09:40 PM
23

They just want to do what they see in porn so they can cure their FOMO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 03:00 AM
26

Let's be real, He did think to but he knew you wouldn't be interested if you knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 09:01 PM
202

But let me guess, they want to do anal on YOU 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/20 05:13 PM
8

It sounds like giving gifts is an important love language for you! Perhaps if you tell her about the 5 love languages, and that receiving/giving gifts is one of them, she'll understand it more as a means of you showing love and affection. It sounds like her love language is NOT receiving gifts, and perhaps she can also take the quiz to figure our what hers is. Often times, when couples have different love languages, they can see the other "language" as insignificant or pointless or just struggle…
/r/askFDS22/06/20 08:10 PM
3

Thank you! I completely agree. She dumped all of her emotional turmoil onto me and used me in place of a therapist. It was abusive and I wish I could have learned about what happened in a healthier way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 05:05 PM
10

Remember, confidence is a habit not a trait!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:53 AM
9

Can you explain why? Does it depend on their age? I've always wondered if it is better for them to remain ignorant or know the truth. Because my parents divorced when I was 15 and I was told every disgusting thing my father did to my mother. I'm glad I know who he really is instead of continuing to be gaslit and manipulated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/20 02:36 AM
5

I'm gonna be honest, "lose my number before I get mad" kind of sounds like you're already mad. This guy doesn't deserve your attention. Don't give him the power of making you mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:36 PM
1

Check out the FDS Handbook all the information is there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:23 PM
21

This quote keeps going around but it's not from Sylvia Plath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 08:04 PM
7

Thank you! Also: "Incel" "Your boyfriend" How is she an incel when she's literally in a relationship?? I guess me being in a long term relationship and having sex every day with someone I love means I'm an incel 🤷🏽‍♀️ my boyfriend has no issues with this sub and we literally laugh at the LVM antics together!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:09 AM
3

Someone already posted this here. Shameful behavior
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:54 PM
32

Of course there's an age gap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 03:51 AM
23

omg wtf? I would never date a 34 year old man that even CONSIDERED being with a 22 year old woman. That's predatory. Huge red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 04:00 AM
7

Nah. You'd just be playing mommy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 03:56 AM
26

That's an age gap for sure. Depends a lot on when they met and started dating. A 29 year old dating a 21 year old is predatory. I would be wary of anything more than 3-4 years. If the man is 39, I would be seriously considering why he can't be with a woman his own age. It's a no from me. If they have kids the man is going to be so much older with less energy to spend time playing with his kids!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 03:55 AM
12

Exactly. Not only that but risk of spontaneous miscarriage increases with paternal age as well!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:36 PM
36

Do men realize... That their fertility greatly decreases with age too? All of the "Old ass celebrity man has baby with his trophy wife" headlines are outliers and it gives them a false sense of security. Men of his age are at a great risk of having children with chromosomal abnormalities, neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism, mental health disorders such as Schizophrenia and other birth defects.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:28 PM
41

"someone's son" 🤢 I can't stand this infantilizing language. "someone's daughter" is just as bad. Grown adult's are grown adults; there's no need to coddle this man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:48 PM
30

These men are just outing themselves as broke lmao Not even a bag of chips??? No man making six figures would ever say something like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:05 AM
7

👏🏽 YUP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 04:04 AM
23

There was another post on here with a pornsick LVM who had a white girlfriend but only watched porn of what he deemed "exotic" latina women. As I remember correctly, he also said "I don't see them as wife material only want to have sex with them" where as his white girlfriend was wife material. I don't think it mentioned his race, but if he sees darker skinned women as exotic I'm going to assume he is white. So. What is it with men only seeing women of their own race as "wife material"?? Can any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 03:27 AM
64

What is with referring to people as "randoms"??? So many red flags. This guy is weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 01:29 AM
1

Exactly!
/r/seduction09/06/20 01:17 AM
3

That's okay, at least you tried! The orgasm gap is real and it can be an incredible turn off for woman when men prioritize their orgasms. Have you heard of the book She Comes First? It's here! Really reccomend it, I think it would help.
/r/seduction08/06/20 05:55 PM
1

Sorry if I missed it in your post, but did you at least try to help her orgasm with oral or your hands after? Or did you just give up and leave her hanging?
/r/seduction08/06/20 05:31 PM
46

This is a hard one. I'm a WOC but I'm mixed and I find that I get fetishized by both races, albeit in different ways. I guess all I can say is that there are some red flags. One of the biggest red flags for me is if he only dates women of my ethnicity. Like, if all of his ex's look exactly like me... That's weird. But then if you are the ONLY woc they've dated and they make comments like "I've never been with a woc before...I've always wondered what it's like..." that's also a red flag. If they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 10:11 PM
15

This is exceptionally insightful. Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:49 AM
10

To be fair, dude on the right looks like he's flexing as well. Andy is just standing in a more relaxed pose... and he's a professional chef.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 03:12 AM
36

Ya'll realize this is fake, right? It's all fantasy, he's lying for clout.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:43 AM
12

According to this the women he cheated with is a proud side chick... This whole situation is just a MESS. https://www.google.com/amp/s/theboxhouston.com/9472790/open-letter-to-gabrielle-union/amp/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:03 AM
1

That's great! It sounds like you are happy. I wish you guys the best ♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:52 AM
85

It's only been a week and he's already displaying 🚩. You did the right thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:58 PM
15

"female" 🤮 youre a human being not a dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:30 PM
2

I think the official FDS rule is 3 months. I make it easy and just say don't have sex with a man you aren't in a committed relationship with. He needs to commit first. If you make that clear and he's not taking you seriously he'll dip.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:08 PM
4

I think once you are exclusive you should be introduced to his friends. That's not too early at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:05 PM
7

Men see "FWBs" as a way to get free prostitution. This relationship does not serve you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:02 PM
18

No. Why can't he put it in his name?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:58 PM
16

Girl, he played you. Don't feel bad, but this is a good lesson on why you should always wait. Most men on OLD are just looking for a free prostitute. It's not that you are lacking in any way, it's just that he is a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 10:19 PM
3

That's perfect! I'm mostly thinking about guys on dating apps asking to pick ladies up for a first a date. Sometimes you can get swept up in the romantic gesture without realizing the danger 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:15 PM
4

This is excellent but as a side note: PLEASE do not get into a car with a man you've just met or barely know. It's not safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:10 AM
7

Do you live in a larger city? Where I'm from (a mid sized city, very up and coming hipster type) there are tons of vegan , whole food restaurants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:02 AM
21

That's low effort because he is low effort. A HVM will not pull that kind of "come over to my house and hookup" stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 11:07 PM
13

I love her !!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 02:47 AM
22

You're in the perfect place then! You deserve the best. It's good to have you here. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 01:47 AM
9

You should read the Wiki in the about section.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:58 PM
3

Read the Wiki in the about section.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:57 PM
53

When they got together she was 19 and he was 29. Yikes. I wouldn't expect anything good to come from that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:55 PM
2

I see now! Thank you for taking the time to explain that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 04:16 AM
5

Right. But you just said right there "we just give the logic answer go a question even if it will hurt the feelings of other". It's not healthy to be in a relationship with someone who is constantly hurting your feelings. Impact matters, regardless of intent. And that sounds like a general lack of empathy. over time, that could really ware a person down and effect their self esteem. That's why it is toxic. Toxic doesn't necessarily mean evil or malicious, it can mean that it drains your energy a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 03:42 AM
3

In really curious what the argument was about. Since he had to save his own ass, what'd he do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 11:14 PM
3

If you don't know what's appropriate and what's not you could really hurt someone. That sounds like a great foundation for a toxic relationship. Successful relationships take skilled communication.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 11:13 PM
14

You are not the only one. I'm a black women and I was deeply disturbed by this post and the way OP was so quick to throw us under the bus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:37 PM
8

This is 100% accurate!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 02:38 PM
2

Thank you for this response. He's a year younger than I am (24) he is a great boyfriend. But he wants to be in a certain position (great career, income, own a home etc) before he gets married. He's super ambitious and making moves to make that happen but it will take time. A lot of stuff on this thread makes me feel like I should throw the whole relationship away or that he doesn't love me but I think it's more that he wants to be sure he's good enough for ME before he proposes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 08:53 PM
13

I hear you. I don't want to date around though I want to get married. I've been ready to "settle down" for as long as I can remember.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 10:00 PM
18

Does this still apply if you're young? Like should a 20-25 year old girl dump her bf if he hasn't proposed in a year? Just wondering because a lot of guys my age roll there eyes about getting married so "early". I ask my current BF about it and he basically acts like he won't even CONSIDER it until he's 30. It sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 09:54 PM
59

Unfortunately... There are still grown ass men that care about this stuff, many of them are pornsick and expect that women don't fart or have body hair either. I would change it to HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 04:04 PM
8

Why would you give him the opportunity to "hit you up"??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 10:20 PM
5

Yeah, I get it. It's something I'm working on too. We get conditioned to not want to "offend" but it's in your best interest to be direct and confident!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 11:28 PM
17

And using emojis. Makes you seem like the "fun, playful type" these guys are looking for. They're flirty. He don't deserve those emojis lol. Be direct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 05:09 PM
23

How old are you guys? I'm mid 20s and it sometimes feels like getting a guy to propose/take things seriously at this age is impossible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/19 07:27 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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