What do I do when blocking and deleting doesn't work?

Hhjjuuy · 2020-11-16T22:49:04+00:00

You need to respond. Tell him very clearly and concisely to stop contacting you in any way. Consider talking to an attorney to see if you should include that you will escalate to the courts if he continues harassing you.

Document everything he's done so far and anything he does after this. It should be done in one written message and don't respond again after that. In most places you have to have explicitly told a person to stop harassing you before it can be escalated.

Sea_Soil · 2020-11-17T17:09:51+00:00

Document everything and get a restraining order.

Anodynic · 2020-11-16T23:34:36+00:00

Document his harassment with a timestamped email that you tag specifically in a special folder and the images either attached if you have a lot of storage or saved on a cloud somewhere with a link to each image in the respective email. Keep not replying, keep everything nonperishable for evidence, and make a paper trail although repeat he needs to back off if you don't have evidence of you telling him to back off before.

Take it to police if it escalates at all beyond texts/gifts (ej. if you see him or think he may be watching you or if he says something threatening), and if that does not work, publicly name and shame. Also, depending on your previous relationship, if you aren't afraid of him violently reacting, I would 100% go to his family with this if y'all were close. A lot of men can easily be put into place with their parent's reaction.

MakeURegret · 2020-11-18T01:25:40+00:00

Since you’ve held firm in not responding so far. I’d see if you can talk to a lawyer about options/next steps, before breaking the silence.

If you find out that you need to tell him “stop contacting me” to get a restraining order. But then learn the restraining order doesn’t really help you. Then you’ll have broken the silence for nothing.

Also, you might get a restraining order and then cops may shrug their shoulders on enforcing it. Not sure if you can really figure out how your local police will handle it, but something else to keep in mind.

As far as if you don’t go the legal route:

I would see if you can tell the flower companies not to deliver to you/refuse the delivery. Can you lockdown social media more? Can you change emails? Does he have a typical phrase he uses that an email filter/rule could catch and put in a spam folder?

The text messages are insidious. And I can’t think of a solution to that short of changing your number. I suppose you could disallow pop-up notifications from unknown numbers. So they’d still show up in your text list, but at least you’re not getting interrupted by him when watching yt on your phone. And you can still get texts from non-contacts. This might be technically complex though.

As far as the physical mail - I wouldn’t even be counting the pages. Shred it right away. The physical gift? Throw whole unopened box into trash.

^ obviously not all of this advice is good if you have to document it all if you’re going the legal route and/or want to keep the legal route open. So keep that in mind as well.

Title	What do I do when blocking and deleting doesn't work?
Author	DaisyDooDrops
Upvotes	12
Comments	4
Date	November 16, 2020 8:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/jv32wf/what_do_i_do_when_blocking_and_deleting_doesnt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/what-do-i-do-when-blocking-and-deleting-doesnt.1068133 https://theredarchive.com/post/1068133

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