I could not find ONE comment saying she’s in the right. He expects her to come over on the first date but gets offended when she mentions him paying for tea. A $2 item. 🥴

bleda_princezna · 2022-02-20T21:52:17+00:00

He's offended he's expected to pay 2$, yet he expected her to come over right away after a bit of texting and spread her legs for him, free of charge, free of her orgasm. What the actual fuck?

millennialpink2000 · 2022-02-20T22:25:15+00:00

It's not about the tea, it's the power. He doesn't want to invest anything in her, yet feels entitled to her time and likely body

Kylie_Fan · 2022-02-20T21:48:04+00:00

That she's even asking shows the state of dating in 2022.

It's absolutely pathetic that he scoffed at paying $2 for a cup of tea, gimme a break. It's so pathetic there are no words.

What a waste of time for her to post that and for us to read and comment on it. This kind of individual deserves no second thought.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-02-20T22:31:42+00:00

he begrudgingly paid for 2 dollar tea but I swear he entertained thoughts of having her repay him with sex.

I mean... a prostitute would have given him a black eye if he pulled that stunt.

scrote's so cheap, she's actually losing money by even being around him.

thepsychopathhunter · 2022-02-20T22:03:56+00:00

Eww. The audacity of him to expect her to come over while he blames her for expecting him to treat her to some fucking tea which is like literally so cheap. He can’t even invest the price of tea for her to risk her own life to meet a complete stranger that could put her in danger. 🤢 So basically she’s being treated worse than a sex worker who would at least be compensated. I hope she gets some FDS comments soon and stops offering to pay half with dates with these scrotes. There is no reason to do that when dating is already so rigged against women.

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-02-21T02:54:05+00:00

Honestly I consider it a big red flag if a guy suggests meeting either at his place or my place for a first meeting. If he's so out of touch on just basic safety issues that women deal with on a regular basis he's probably out of touch on a lot of other issues that affect women disproportionately to men and I would seriously take a second to reevaluate whether he would ever be a good partner.

preppykat3 · 2022-02-20T23:49:57+00:00

Jesus Chris. Dying alone sounds like a privilege and a luxury at this point.

2022-02-20T22:22:59+00:00

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ButterStuffedSquash · 2022-02-21T01:22:33+00:00

Regardless everything else wrong with this dud(e), could you imagine living your life so miserably that the mere insinuation of paying for someone elses $2 tea or coffee offends you so badly you fly off the handle? Mans could easily think, 'hey maybe this will be the best $2 i ever spend'. Mans needs to go the f outside.

RiasXgremoryX · 2022-02-20T22:54:23+00:00

This is why I’ve stopped dating altogether. Too many men expect sex on the first date, then they don’t want to properly court us or get to know us even at pickme prices(see above).

Then to add insult to injury, they expect us to risk our lives and health plus spend gas money getting back & forth, to meet a complete stranger with bad hygiene for what is most likely going to be boring, dry jackhammering 2min sex with no foreplay or orgasm on the woman’s part.

No thanks, I’ll pass.

sassyheather · 2022-02-20T23:33:57+00:00

Private jets and private schools are expensive but they want our private parts for free? Nah pass

perks33 · 2022-02-21T01:51:59+00:00

Notice she said, “ I know there are some girls who only go on dates just to have guys pay for them.” She wanted to separate herself from “those” women in hopes of earning his respect

Women’s internalized misogyny and hatred for “gold diggers” (aka women with higher standards) is why so many end up in disastrous situations.

Because they fear being thought of as “gold digger” they request $2 tea instead of proper courtship via multiple dinner dates

Because they fear being thought of as “gold digger” , they split 50/50 to prove themselves as different

Because they fear being thought of as “gold digger” , they take out loans for men to prove they’re not like those gold digging tramps

Heck the whole scam of tinder swindler was riding on these women‘s desire to distance themselves from being seen as gold diggers. They dredged up thousands in loans for him to “prove” they’re not using him for his money.

ewokblubber · 2022-02-20T22:08:22+00:00

I have probably paid for more women's hot beverages in my life than this guy has.

Incidentally, I've probably also had sex with more women than he has. And made more of them cum.

Coincidence? My dear Watson, I think not.

Honestly, I know what it's like to be in love with a woman, especially in those early stages. If my ex had asked for unicorn steak on our first date, the only question I would have asked before whipping out my credit card is 'with griffin wings on the side?'

Women are pretty damn great, and people who are in love with them will do and purchase crazy shit to make them happy. The fun thing is that if you have good taste in women and don't date any somehow problematic ones, you don't regret it. I regret no purchase I've ever made for a girl, and the list of purchases I've made for girls includes fucked-up shit like tuna salads (why would you eat that?!?! It smells like cat food?!?!) and a bird feeder that ended up attracting hordes of belligerent squirrels to my yard, so you know I mean it.

If a man doesn't buy someone he supposedly likes tea, fucking ditch him.

whiskey_and_oreos · 2022-02-20T21:56:11+00:00

Where are her grandparents? My granny would kick my ass back into the old country if I even considered this. Two generations ago men would court us, pay for everything, commit quickly, and the smart ones would give their wives their whole damn paycheck to run the house.

saint-jezebel · 2022-02-20T23:59:46+00:00

A man like that reeks of rapey and/or drugging you. I bet if she went over, it would be for boxed Celeste pizza and beer leftover from Super Bowl. She’s questioning this, meanwhile, he could be perfecting his roofie technique. Women really need to see no effort for what it is.

Novemberinthechair · 2022-02-20T22:47:11+00:00

He wanted a free prostitute. The fact that she's questioning this just means there are current mechanisms in society that cause a self-perpetuating gaslighting syndrome.

BlueJeanMistress · 2022-02-20T23:07:56+00:00

Paying for tea/a date is more than showing you are a gentleman. It shows that you are generous and thoughtful of a woman’s time. My now husband insisted he take me somewhere nice for our first date.

You know how many dinner dates I’ve paid for in the last four years of us being together? Zero. This is a man who still makes an effort to plan dates even though we’re married and have a baby. I still receive flowers and thoughtful gifts and he’s been a wonderful father.

So for any lurking pickmes in recovery please know that your time is valuable and do not waste it on scrotes who do not make an effort.

JulyParade · 2022-02-20T21:57:11+00:00

So she's out both gas money and tea money while he gets to have sex with some clueless woman who will inevitably ask why he ghosted her?? Damn.

Efflights6 · 2022-02-21T00:34:53+00:00

Wow men really do treat online dating like free escort services. His sense of entitlement is scary, is like a lot of women just go over to a stranger house on the first few dates.

ceramicunicorn · 2022-02-20T23:36:19+00:00

There is this idea perpetuated that access to a woman’s body is not a valuable gift given to men that they will accept happily and guiltlessly. We know it is valuable because- unlike with tea- they would be crushed if they were to find out they could never have access to it again. We also know that they never feel like they “owe” after receiving a gift.

We need to change that lie that sex is not incredibly valuable to them and thus like anything of value, obtained through effort….first and foremost.

He is negotiating a good deal for himself. It is wild to me that it’s egregious for women to do the same.

throwawayXX139 · 2022-02-20T23:58:00+00:00

Guys like him have no sense of self-preservation. They'll go on about how "men get assaulted too, you know? we have it just as bad" and yet have no qualms about inviting a total stranger into their home - despite claiming most women are crazy. Would you be comfortable inviting home a complete stranger whose sanity you questioned?

spinsterchachkies · 2022-02-21T01:00:58+00:00

He expected her to come over and fuck him but didn’t think that was offensive. The state of men these days. It’s a disaster.

howlsmovingcactus · 2022-02-20T22:13:49+00:00

Ladies, this is why we run (not walk) when NVM ask us to "come over" as a sad excuse for a first date. When this woman actually brought DATING into the equation, he acted like she was an entitled queen.

That's because he's the type of "man" who thinks his self-assigned miraculous (read: sad, pathetic, shriveled) pp is such a gift that she shouldn't ask for anything else. Even a $2 drink. When in reality, we know that she would have left sore, exhausted, and lacking a single orgasm.

makeawomancum · 2022-02-20T23:40:01+00:00

Liberal feminism - where everyone says having a disgusting scrote pay for pussy is empowering, but we’re also not allowed to want to be treated out / desire more than 50/50.

bananaslim1917 · 2022-02-20T23:11:43+00:00

what an absolute loser. men should be working hard to impress women, especially in the beginning. if he’s showing stinginess and lack of generosity this early on, this relationship is gonna take a far tumble if she chooses to continue. disgusting entitled loser.

shoesfromparis135 · 2022-02-21T02:08:27+00:00

This is a great example of someone you should immediately stop wasting time on. Block and delete.

Leeola_Mcgillicuddy · 2022-02-21T03:39:03+00:00

At this point these scrotes need to be alone for the rest of their lives. This is ridiculous. I can't find the words to describe the level of being completely turned off this should inspire for women.

szarcat · 2022-02-21T03:11:00+00:00

The first red flag was him inviting her over so quick but ofc she needs advice from Reddit pick mes and trash moids

corkymuu · 2022-02-20T21:47:15+00:00

All of this just seems so pathetic to me. A guy should -want- to treat a girl. They’re always complaining about how they want to feel needed, dude, here’s how!

Sad-Salt-1106 · 2022-02-20T21:46:59+00:00

Imagine being so frugal you can’t pay for a $2 tea

europoor24 · 2022-02-21T15:13:24+00:00

Didn’t finish reading this. If he invites you over on the first date ?! He’s looking for sex. If he won’t even buy you a tea when we know people spend more then that on literally anything. He’s looking for a free prostitute.

cryptohobo · 2022-02-21T21:50:49+00:00

NEVER GO TO HIS HOUSE ON THE FIRST DATE. BLOCK HIM FOR EVEN SUGGESTING THAT AS AN OPTION. YES I AM YELLING FOR GOOD REASON.

SerialGeneralist · 2022-02-21T02:23:21+00:00

If a man wants to get all bent out of shape over some tea, then he’s not worth wasting anymore time. They love to get a woman over for sex but throw a broke tantrum over coffee. Cheap men are the bottom of the barrel.

Carneliancat · 2022-02-21T16:45:03+00:00

The idea that women go out with men just so the man will pay for them is a lie that needs to die. I don't know any woman that would put up with odious company and waste her time and evening just for a meal. Not a single one. The truth of the matter has been obscured and deliberately twisted, and this is what we are left with.

The truth is, women go out with the men that they have interest in, in order to see if a romantic relationship is possible. We don't waste our time on men we know we aren't attracted to. We go on dates to vet, and to have FUN. We absolutely deserve some fun if we are taking the time to get ready for a date, and spending our precious time to make conversation and provide and opportunity for a man to show who he is to us. There needs to be an incentive to date, yes? It's a man's job to provide that incentive.

A man who is high value and truly interested in a woman will not balk at paying for her--in fact, it will be his pleasure to treat her. He will understand that her time is a resource, and appreciate the opportunity to use some of it to try to pique her romantic interest. He wants to impress her, to work for the opportunity to get to know her better.

The LVM like this fool in the example who cry about a cup of tea are not those men. They don't have the right instincts for a healthy relationship, and in fact, hate women. Let them have their poisonous little views, but don't entertain them. Don't set up your dating expectations to reflect this low-value loser culture. Keep your standards high, don't be shamed or gaslighted into thinking you're the one doing it wrong--you aren't. These LVM know they cannot compete with HVM, so they gaslight women into going against their own instincts. It's bullshit. Ignore it, and only date those who care about your enrichment and pleasure.

ItsFreezen · 2022-02-21T16:55:23+00:00

If a guy is offended by paying for tea he sure as heck not going to be buying diapers either. Think.

butteryrum · 2022-02-21T05:48:14+00:00

That guy just wanted to use her for sex and was mad when she denied him the sex he felt entitled to. ew. All too common.

Determinedblonde · 2022-02-21T18:22:09+00:00

Please tell me you’ve DM’d her. Can’t be having her change her mind.

gingerandlime · 2022-02-21T03:20:53+00:00

So, this is all ridiculous behavior on his part. (Not good vetting on her part either, but that’s beside the point.) That said, I like to bring up a point from the handbook: we do not actually expect all men to pay for dates. We DO expect that men who might make good partners would want to demonstrate that by paying for dates.

We obviously cannot actually expect every man to pay for dates. We can and must vet based on their behaviors on dates.

SupremeDearLeader · 2022-02-21T19:53:16+00:00

He's not even worthy of eye contact at 50 yards away let alone a " visit " to his what is probably a very filthy neckbeard hole.

oneheadlight312 · 2022-02-23T00:00:53+00:00

I want off this planet.

Kingkazola · 2022-02-27T05:26:29+00:00

This is why before even going on a low- effort date like that he either agrees to pay or I'm staying home. 🙂

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