~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 16 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenExactly! No worries, I didn't interpret your comment as minimising abuse at all, I just wanted to chime in with a story. It's really baffling how the humanity has been trained right out of so many of us. That conversation with that dude really had me re-evaluate how I reacted to instances of harrassment and abuse in my own life, and it really made me realise how callous I was with myself. After experiencing shit twice as fucked-up, I've afforded myself not half of the grace this dude afforded hi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 02:05 PM |
| 59 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenI once spoke to a man who experienced some sexual harrassment at college- a (male) TA sent him a text that, whilst not utterly explicit, was definitely out of line. He reported the TA and got him fired. Good. What struck me about the conversation was how deeply this experience seemingly affected him. Obviously, no one should be harassed by their TA, and obviously, it's good that he got the guy fired. But I still remember how grand, how terrible, this moment seemed to have been for this guy. Of c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 01:24 PM |
| 10 | Men using "mathematical calculations" to drive down women's standardsThat's what always gets me! Obviously, I don't agree that .000001% of men are desirable- it's a bit more than that, I'd say, lol- but the kernel of truth in there is that the vast majority of women are desirable partners, whereas a good chunk of men aren't. But instead of turning around and asking themselves 'hm, why exactly is that and how could we change in order to make more of us desirable?', they turn it around on women. Like it's women's fault that 50% of men in their twenties are undateab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 09:28 AM |
| 24 | Men using "mathematical calculations" to drive down women's standardsThat, and the 'glass elevator' effect. Gosh, that one just gets me all geared up. It's the phenomenon that, in a female-dominated industry, once a single lone man shows up, he will be promoted into leadership right away. Like how teachers are majority female, but head teachers are majority male. That one just really gets me going because it struck me as blatantly weird even when I was a child- I spent years wondering why I'd had almost no male teachers in my life, but all my schools had male hea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 09:26 AM |
| 19 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenWhat really struck me here is the point she made about shame. Shame is one of these emotions that we don't typically think of as dangerous, but that I think we should all be terrified of. Shame is very much underrated in our society. Men who are ashamed of something they do or are act out in terrible, terrible ways. They need to hide, to conceal, to overcompensate, to reestablish control, to project, to establish dominance, to secure. All of which can take twisted, dangerous forms. Healthy shame… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/22 03:19 PM |
| 85 | How do you handle the "I'm a virgin" talk with guys?Honestly, I think the reason most people- like you- who lost their virginity in their twenties don't ever share grand, awkward horror stories about losing their virginity is that most of the awkwardness and potential for shit to go wrong doesn't necessarily come from losing ones virginity, but from people being generally 15-18 when they do it. Like, kids that age are just awkward, anything they do is bound to hold the potential of becoming a shitshow 😂 Most women who had their sexual debut in th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/04/22 08:55 AM |
| 6 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?31 years old. That's the age where he either marries you, or you know you're a placeholder. If a thirty-one-year-old doesn't marry you, you know he's looking for wife SERIVE, not a WIFE. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 06:28 PM |
| 90 | How do you handle the "I'm a virgin" talk with guys?I also stayed a virgin for a fairly long time. One interesting thing I have observed: I did not find my first time, or the conversations surrounding it, to be significantly more awkward than all subsequent conversations surrounding the first time having sex with a new partner. When you sleep with someone new, there'll always be awkwardness, there'll always be some strange conversations, and I find that there is no reason to be scared of the 'virginity'-conversation beyond those other, 'non-virgi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 06:14 PM |
| 8 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?Thirty-one. This is the age where he either marries you, or you know you're a placeholder. That's the age where all of his friends are getting married, there's a wedding every other weekend, and every day, you see a new baby on your instagram feed. That's not an age for 'moving in' bullshit. If a man is pulling this shit at that age, you know he's looking for wife SERVICE, not for a wife. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 06:01 PM |
| 64 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?ON POINT! Her place is probably nicer, closer to his work, and there's free room service because I guaran-fucking-tee she'll do a majority of the housework once he moves in. He'll save time, energy, and money, all of which will propel him forward at work and socially. Just IMAGINE how much time suddenly frees up if your commute halves, and you can go all 'baaaabe, I just don't have time to cook today, could you pleaaaaaase....' four times a week! And once he's reaped the benefits of that sweet, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:48 PM |
| 24 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?It's either that his place is a nest, or it's insanely far out of the city. She mentioned she's in NY. I bet he lives halfway into New Jersey, whereas it's twenty minutes from her's to his work. This dude has found himself a sweet hotel downtown- with a free minibar that's always fully stocked! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:27 PM |
| 22 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?Giiiiiirrrrl. Dump this fucker! Saving money by making you spend money by staying with you five nights a week, all whilst MAKING MORE THAN YOU- how disrespectful! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:24 PM |
| 46 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?2k. Sis. Good Lord. This entire arrangement is so exploitative of your time, money, and energy. Let me guess: Your place is way nicer than his? There's always food at your's, and it's nicely furnished, and you've got a fabulous bathroom? And you're probably closer to his work/downtown as well? And he eats more than you, I'm sure? This man is thirty-one years old. He's not some broke college kid crashing with you because a pipe burst in his building. This isn't socially acceptable adult behaviour… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:17 PM |
| 30 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?I am honestly flabberghasted. The discreet bill-pushing as you say your heartfelt goodbyes after staying with someone for more than a night is just part of the good forms of adulthood. Good Lord, tax season XD. I am SCREAMING! These men have no shame. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:10 PM |
| 24 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?100% agreed. Heck, even broke college kids staying with friends for a few days will bring a gift, help with the grocery bill, help with chores, and try to invite their host for dinner as a thank-you. This dude is thirty-one years old. He's a fully grown adult making money. No excuses. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 05:07 PM |
| 36 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?Honestly, I totally get how you end up in this situation out of kindness. Obviously, when you like someone, you like spending time with them. But really, try to think how you'd act if you stayed with a friend five nights a week due to whatever reason. Imagine you're visiting a friend in another city, or a pipe burst in your house and now you're staying with a friend temporarily until it gets fixed. Girl. You'd pay them something. You'd pay for groceries, insist on covering some bills, you'd cook… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 04:58 PM |
| 51 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?I am flabberghasted, honestly. I cannot for the life of me imagining staying over at someone's place like some sort of weekday renter and not paying them something. Heck, I push a discreet one or two hundred dollars into the hand of friends I have in other cities when I stay with them for a week to hang out. Or at the very least pay for a lot of shit during our time together- like, all the restaurant visits, the tickets for sights, and I bring a gift. Anything to repay the kindness. As far as I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 04:54 PM |
| 188 | My boyfriend (31) says he wants to move in with me so he can “save” and is not talking about going half on bills. How can I tell him that I expect him to pay bills if he moves in with me ?You absolutely SHOULD NOT let a boyfriend live with you. The mere fact of how the distribution of labour tends to work out in virtually all heterosexual relationships means that you will certainly lose time, money, and energy that you could otherwise focus on yourself. Why do that for a man who has not demostrated commitment by marrying you? Why benefit him on his life path if you might never see the return of that investment long-term? He will save money, and time. Because you'll be spending it… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/22 04:42 PM |
| 24 | STD testing before intimacyThe thing is: this is a small, reasonable ask. No matter whether it's usual/common or not where you are to test before intimacy, every sane adult should be able to understand why it might be important for someone. I've never been asked to show a test before intimacy with someone, but if I was, I would never be offended or refuse. Anyone who refuses is someone with something to hide and/or a fundamental lack of understanding and responsibility regarding their own health. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/22 10:34 AM |
| 133 | “If he wanted to, he would” fair, but how do I let him know I’m interested without directly asking him out?Honestly, in my experience, men have a hair trigger when it comes to asking out women they are into. I totally concur with you- if a few pleasant chats, open body language, and the general information of you being single/unmarried floating around in your social circle do not suffice for him to ask you out, he doesn't want to. Or he's crippingly socially incompetent, in which case you don't want him anyways. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/22 01:27 PM |
| 6 | What Are The Signs Of Porn-Sick Men?I'm dark-haired, and look otherwise similar to my sister. As far as LVM, pornified, sexual attention goes, it seems to be fewer frat bros for me, but more older men and/or sleazy business guys. I'd say I get a bit less sleazy attention overall, but that might also be that I work in a more conservative field and dress more businesslike than her, so I assume I seem more intimidating. We get similar amounts of actually valuable attention, though, from similar sorts of men, and that didn't change no… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/22 11:03 AM |
| 185 | In no universe should this be ok and accepted. A Utah university is offering a porn analysis film classI'm actually fairly sure a woman would teach this. Intellectual discourse about porn is very much a "female" thing. Men are too busy jacking off to porn to think about it in terms of some pseudo-feminist analysis, because they don't need to. If a man sees misogynistic violence on screen, he can enjoy that without inner conflict- he's a man, after all, it's got nothing to do with him. If a woman sees the obvious realities of porn- the misogyny, the violence, the fact that despite and because of t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/22 10:42 AM |
| 18 | The Bar Is In Hell. The Audacity Is Sky High. I'm Scared For My Generation.It goes to show that it's not about him being unable to put in effort, it's about him being unwilling to do so. The entire production of such a video takes time, forethought, planning, and energy. The exact same skills and resources as getting someone a fabulous gift. He has all of them, he just didn't think she was worth using them for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/22 04:44 PM |
| 7 | Women who play video games and want a partner to play with; Navigating the toxic wasteland of Gamer BoysIt's not just gaming, but anything involving screens in general. We all have to acknowledge that social media, the internet, video games etc all hold an inherent addictive potential- the online landscape is shaped to induce dopamine responses, which is inherently addictive. This stuff needs to be used responsibly. In my view, recreational screentime (as opposed to using a computer to work or perform other productive, necessary tasks) needs to be treated much the same way as alcohol- fine to indu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/22 04:21 PM |
| 34 | Women who play video games and want a partner to play with; Navigating the toxic wasteland of Gamer BoysHonestly, I think it's much the same with any activity, not just gaming. I'm currently learning a fourth language. By all metrics, that's a useful, good, productive, valuable thing to do. I still can't spend three hours a day practicing my vocab because I need that time for other, necessary things. I'm sure I could fit in multiple hours of practice every day if I was alright with just maintaining my carreer progress, my networking, my academics, but that's not what anyone in a developmental stag… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 01:41 PM |
| 86 | Women who play video games and want a partner to play with; Navigating the toxic wasteland of Gamer BoysFor all these dudes claim that they are able to hold down a job and maaaaybe throw in some exercise next to their hours of gaming, it's just a fact that past a certain time investment, you can't progress in the way that is appropriate for your age. I totally believe guys who say that they can fit in three hours of gaming every day and still hold down a job/maintain decent academic performance, exercise once or twice a week, and maybe see a friend or two. However, I don't for one second believe t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 01:11 PM |
| 93 | What Are The Signs Of Porn-Sick Men?Redheads. That one. My sister had red hair at one point, and she went back to her natural colour in part because of the sort of man who were suddenly starting to approach her, and the issues she started to experience with them. All women get gross, pornified attention from LVM, but I think certain types of LVM have a thing for certain looks. Red hair is very much a 'overweight gamer bro' thing. The LVM my sister's got when she wore her natural blonde were weird Lacrosse-playing frat bros, and ov… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 11:03 PM |
| 53 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindIn my opinion, it's all about that reasoning behind the first divorce. There's a huge difference between 'divorced father of a toddler' (you know shit needs to go down before women entertain the idea of divorcing the father of their young child- you don't do that over a triviality) and 'man who got divorced after marrying too early first time around and realising him and his partner grew apart'. Looking at my parent's friends, who are now in their fifties and sixties, the second marriages that w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:42 PM |
| 61 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindI think that yes, single HVM do become rarer past a certain age. The way the dating market works, they do generally partner up in their twenties and early thirties. Leaving that aside for a moment, I'd really figure out the past relationship history of any man in his 40s and go from there. There's a huge difference between a childless divorced man and a divorced man with a kid, for example. We know that 90% of divorces are initiated by women amongst academics (I shit you not, that's a real stat)… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:32 PM |
| 47 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindExactly! Women in these fields do generally perfom decently socially, even and especially the extraordinarily brilliant ones. Men, on the other hand? Honestly, amongst the 'super-genius, never had to work hard at anything'-types, I know very few who suceed beyond university, at least not in the legal field. They do not do well in social settings, and law is all team work. From what I know, there's certain niches in medicine and some other fields where they do go far, though, as those aren't as r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:19 PM |
| 88 | Had a guy lose interest because I told him I do not like to partyThe fact of the matter is that these guys are all poised to crash into a solid brick wall that will not yield. You cannot do all the things you're supposed to do in your thirties whilst maintaining a teenage party lifestyle. You cannot invest the necessary time into your career, you cannot create the much-needed long-lasting frienships that will secure you and propel you forward throughout your life, you cannot maintain the healthful lifestyle you need to get into at that age in order to avoid i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 06:04 PM |
| 107 | Vetting Professional Men: Six Things to Keep in MindI'm in one of these fields and agree with your posts completely. There's a few things I'd add: Beyond the obvious types (like guys who just got where they are due to family connections), there are two types of high achievers you need to avoid. The first one is the sort of guy who isn't truly cut out for whatever it is he's doing- not quite talented enough, not quite fast enough, not quite brainy enough- but got there through an insane amount of work. I'm not talking about a hard worker- hard wor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 05:53 PM |
| 1 | Hot Take: Marvel/DC Superhero culture is doing to men and boys what Disney did to women and girls100% agreed. I've experienced something very similar in my academic career: I'm a lawyer, and the men just disappeared into obscurity as I advanced throughout my studies. Two thirds of law school grads are women in my country, but every time I entered a space that was somehow associated with 'high performance' students, the men just disappeared entirely. I participated in competitions in all-girl teams, ran student magazines that might have two young men on staff, was part of internship posses w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/22 12:14 PM |
| 1 | Hot Take: Marvel/DC Superhero culture is doing to men and boys what Disney did to women and girls100% agreed. Whilst all sorts of people vote for icky right-wing bullshit, the primary drivers behind this entire movement and all the movements it overlaps are exactly these 25% of disaffected, failure-to-launch men. And there will be more of them in the future. My cousin is a schoolteacher in an affluent, safe area- so no major trauma issues that all the kids experience. Half of the boys in her 10th grade (sophomore year) have some sort of academic performance/social behaviour/whatever issue a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/22 09:14 AM |
| 1 | Hot Take: Marvel/DC Superhero culture is doing to men and boys what Disney did to women and girls100% agreed. It's like we, societally, don't want to acknowledge this situation and just shut our eyes at it. In my country, 35% of bachelor's degrees get awarded to men. That's an alarming percentage if you consider that women didn't enter higher education on a large scale until the 60s and 70s, and even that was a tentative start. But no one wants to talk about this. Because it would be awkward as fuck- men aren't underperforming because of some grand sexist conspiracy against them, and everyo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/22 12:50 AM |
| 1 | Hot Take: Marvel/DC Superhero culture is doing to men and boys what Disney did to women and girlsI'd even go so far to say that superhero movies, the way they are currently used, are compensation fantasies for men in general. There's this huge number of young men who are failing at life. An entire societal group of socially maladapted, vidya-playing, badly educated young men on the verge of NEETdom. A group of men between 15 and 30 who are, objectively, failing at launching into adulthood. It's a development that is both new in its scale and that has no real equivalent in women. Just lookin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/22 12:10 AM |
| 1 | Why do men pretend women don't go for looks?I was thinking of that guy, too! The fact is that real talent, intelligence, or ability will, at some point throughout a person's teens or -at most- twenties, manifest. Talented, smart people perform well academically, are liked and sought out by other talented, smart people, and lead lives that objectively reflect their talents. But these guys FIRMLY believe that there is something innate about them that's just special, no matter whether there is any part of their lives that actually reflects t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 05:36 PM |
| 1 | Why do men pretend women don't go for looks?Yes, that vulture-like habit is just the absolute worst! It just shows how great the economic anxiety men who know that money is the only thing they ever could possibly bring to the table feel when encountering intelligent, successful women. We scare the everliving crap out of them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 05:07 PM |
| 1 | Why do men pretend women don't go for looks?Because by virtue of looks being, to a certain extent, out of a person's control, the idea of women going for something that they cannot have makes them really fucking scared of losing access to bangmaid privileges. Especially in America, people from all social strata like to think of themselves as 'temporarily embarrassed millionaires'- they believe that sooner or later, them having a lot of money is a distinct possibility, nevermind how realistic that is. So for your average Joe Shmoe, the ide… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 10:51 AM |
| 1 | Have you ever witnessed/experiences a LVM turn to a HVM?I think there's a huge, fundamental difference between 'a (young) HV person making a mistake' and 'LV behaviour'. Mistakes are natural. Everyone makes them. HV people do, too, and HV relationships aren't free from conflict, misunderstandings, and the occasional fuckup on both sides. Mistakes are also a key part of how we grow as people, so young people making them is even more natural. I still think there is a core difference between a young HV person doing something dumb and a young person who … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 07:04 PM |
| 2 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"Exactly! I still wouldn't condone going all pickme over a dude who has some extraordinary characteristic, but I'd at least understand it. I think we've all experienced being totally enthralled by someone who just had one thing that was simply extraordinary. When I was younger, I was in awe of a professor I worked for who was objectively a shit boss and mildly shit person, just because she was dazzlingly, brilliantly smart. Depending on what you want out of your interpersonal relationships, that … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/22 05:55 PM |
| 20 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"Agreed! I don't even eat very little per se- three healthy meals a day, portion sizes matching my size and activity level- and it's still so little compared to what most men (especially men in their 20swho play a sport!) can gobble down that I doubt they'd notice a major dint in their finances if they paid for all my food. I mean, that entire trope of the girlfriend stealing her boyfriend's fries still relies on the fact that the girlfriend can get full on what, for her boyfriend, is a side dish… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 03:22 PM |
| 29 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"100% agreed. Honestly, I don't see how you couldn't love a man who is the father of your children and who has genuinely, truly performed the role assigned to him very well for a long period of time. I'm sure it's not the same kind of 'love' (if that even is love) that men use as a code for 'she's hot and makes my pp feel good', but I don't see how that kind of calm, sincere fondness based on the strong foundations of a shared life in which both parties did right by each other could possibly fail… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 03:16 PM |
| 72 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"Splitting the groceries is, in some ways, the most fascinating part of 50:50 to me. I've never dated a man who didn't eat at least twice of what I eat in a day. One guy I'm currently in the early stages with is a swimmer. That dude can easily demolish 3500cal on a heavy training day. That would be a ludicrous amount of food for me. In what universe should I, a small-framed woman who plays a relaxed weekly round of tennis and does a bit of pilates once or twice a week, pay for half the grocery bi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 02:58 PM |
| 64 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"Exactly. Respect trumps love, every single time. Honestly? I'm currently entering a different, more adult life stage. I'm done with my education, my career is taking off. I'm looking at my life plan, and I think it's time to stop my 'dating for the sake of it' phase and readjust how I date as I start to look for someone who I think would be a good father for my kids, all whilst keeping in mind that I am very much considering single motherhood by choice. And guess what? Love doesn't really featur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 02:38 PM |
| 136 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"Agreed. What makes it worse is that these men are so generic. If they were at least dazzlingly smart, or mind-bendingly hilarious, or truly fucking hot, or in some other way extraordinary, I could at least somewhat understand why these women are seemingly so enthralled by them. But no. It's always Steve, a middle-class (at best!) dude who last expressed joy when a new game came out in his favourite video game series, who grumps about in his threadbare pyjama bottoms that accentuate his slight po… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 01:57 PM |
| 48 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"100% agreed. Jesus, I can throw a stone and it'll hit five people who are 'nice' and 'funny' before it drops. The qualities these men supposedly have (and note that with half of them, there's not even evidence for them truly being all that nice) are so utterly generic that I refuse to see why they make sacrificing your happiness worth it. You could replace these generic dudes in ten minutes. Love creates happiness. If your 'love' is keeping you from happiness, it's not love, it's you being fearf… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 01:49 PM |
| 39 | Update on my most recent post. Digging into OP’s comment history only confirmed to me what I already thought; he isn’t a good partner to her & she deserves better. I seriously doubt she doesn’t fake cum with him because she sounds v turned off. He asked some1 what a clitoris is. Is this April fools?Jesus Christ. Yeah, that sounds like no fun. In my opinion, the sweet spot is somewhere around 155-175lbs-ish for most men who are in that 5'10 to 6'2 height range. That's 70-80kg, and I find that works well for a defined look with a bit of musculature that's still on the leaner side. Not so scrawny that they look bad naked, but not so large that it starts to become an issue. I totally respect women who want a look with bulkier muscles, but the sheer mass of it gets too annoying for me XD. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 01:39 PM |
| 412 | 50/50 Cautionary Tales Part 1 : "Something feels weird here"Here's the thing: Love or no love, if a man makes your life objectively worse, that's not a healthy relationship. That's not a good situation to be in. 'Love' is this very grand, very abstract notion. Love is not enough. I'd even argue that love in the 'sparks, butterflies, starry night' way is completely unnecessary. These women throw out 'I feel worse than before, it's bad, but I love him' like that last part somehow negates or justifies the first, but it doesn't. If a man makes your life wors… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 11:12 AM |
| 66 | Update on my most recent post. Digging into OP’s comment history only confirmed to me what I already thought; he isn’t a good partner to her & she deserves better. I seriously doubt she doesn’t fake cum with him because she sounds v turned off. He asked some1 what a clitoris is. Is this April fools?Wanting to be like a boa doesn't square with being shaped like a walrus XD | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 11:07 AM |
| 136 | Update on my most recent post. Digging into OP’s comment history only confirmed to me what I already thought; he isn’t a good partner to her & she deserves better. I seriously doubt she doesn’t fake cum with him because she sounds v turned off. He asked some1 what a clitoris is. Is this April fools?300 pounds is a lot of weight. The heaviest man I've ever dated was a 200-pound-six-foot-three-athlete. So tall and lots of muscle mass. And honestly? That was too large for me. He didn't have much bodyfat, but the general size and weight of him just felt too large- I didn't enjoy him being on top of me because it felt like this looming weight posed to crush me, his arms alone were so heavy that I didn't like him throwing one across me when we were sleeping in the same bed, and the furnace-like … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/22 11:05 AM |
| 1 | Scrote has tantrum and refuses to vacate property that’s been soldFor some reason, I feel like the one area of life where women are less likely than men to seek qualified, professional advice is legal issues. And it HAS to stop. I'm a lawyer, and I can't tell you how often I've seen women screwing themselves over on divorce proceedings either by not finding legal counsel swiftly, or by sharing legal counsel with an ex who told them they could do this 'amicably', or by straight-up not getting a lawyer at all because 'my ex said he'd give me X and we didn't need… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/22 09:37 AM |
| 33 | Half the comments have sense, the other half are… highkey horrifying'Children' are always where these men's arguments fall apart. EVEN IF we believed him biting her was an accident. Even if we believed he was just seriously unable to control his bite force. Even if we believed he is just a bit of a dum-dum who freaked out and bit her out of instinct - How does any of that help the toddler he might eventually bite? Because if it's an accident and he truly has no control over this, it can happen again, with a two-year-old, and at that point, you've got half an arm… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 10:59 PM |
| 27 | Man withholds a 12.5K bonus from his SAHM wife because she didnt share the 200$ she made on Etsy (the first time in 7 years she earned anything). Be careful not to marry miserly men who loathe you.That's why all of these money issues men supposedly have seen bizarre to me too! I'm a high earner. I'm in my twenties, single, and don't have kids. Accordingly, even after responsible investing and saving and spending whatever is necessary on me, I've got a good chunk of money left over each month. You know what I spend it on? Fun experiences with and for friends and loved ones. I take my nieces and young cousins out for fun things, I occasionally invite a friend for a fancy dinner and pay for … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 10:23 PM |
| 8 | "Moving the goalpost" at its finest. Nothing good comes of long-term relationship, especially ones with wife benefits and no future in sight. At this point, this guy is enjoying making his girlfriend BUST for a ring while he blows money on a boat. A BOAT.It's also so...childish? 'Wah-wah-eeew, Toby said he wanted to play with that toy, so now, I'm going to take it away!' Apart from the strange power-play and sadism, I don't think I could take a man seriously after shit like that. It would remind me way too much of the social skills of your average primary school kid. No chance you see that sort of guy as a fully formed, adult man after that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 08:39 PM |
| 182 | Man withholds a 12.5K bonus from his SAHM wife because she didnt share the 200$ she made on Etsy (the first time in 7 years she earned anything). Be careful not to marry miserly men who loathe you.Exactly. It's impossible not to be the 'spender' in a relationship if you're the only one actually buying groceries, taking care of the bills, and replacing necessities. Which, you know, you just kind of need. Someone's gotta buy the food and kid's clothing and the cat litter, and if it's always the same person because she's been burdened with all household management, then of course that's the person who is spending money! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 07:24 AM |
| 195 | Man withholds a 12.5K bonus from his SAHM wife because she didnt share the 200$ she made on Etsy (the first time in 7 years she earned anything). Be careful not to marry miserly men who loathe you.It's impossible not to be the 'spender' in a relationship if you're the only one shopping for groceries, dealing with the bills, purchasing clothes for the kids, and replacing basic household necessities! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 07:19 AM |
| 22 | Is chasing unnatural beauty standards making women more vulnerable to unhealthy emotional states? Have you experienced this? Please discussI do wonder what they think 'natural state' is. My sister and I have very similar genetics. I play tennis and go mountainclimbing regularly, plus some Pilates, so I'd say I get around 3-6 hours of exercise a week on average. Judging by what seems to be average for adults, that's probably towards the upper end of the scale. My sister occasionally goes on a hike or two, but doesn't exercise much beyond that. Guess what? Apart from some additional muscle tone I've got in my legs and stomach, there … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 02:56 PM |
| 16 | I have no words, this isn't even pick-me behavior anymoreThe age I was catcalled at most often was between 13-16. I was neither an early developer nor dressed inappropriately for my age. It's because they know a kid doesn't have the wherewithal to pepperspray on sight, not because they're actually into the kid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 08:15 AM |
| 37 | Is it just me, or is OLD getting even worse?Yes. That's it. A man who is in his thirties, single, and claiming to look for a relationship often belongs to one of two kinds: Either, he's somehow not managed to find a serious relationship in ~10 years of dating despite claiming to want one, or he's part of that first wave of divorcées. Both are BIG red flags. People who have the skills to get something and desire to get that thing usually do get it sooner or later, so if someone claims to want a serious relationship, but somehow hasn't foun… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 08:05 AM |
| 4 | I was scrolling through IG and the amount of married/gf men following or commenting on naked women is absolutely insane!It's like they have decent taste in everything from food to clothes to music, but once it's about sex, they are into the trashiest shit imaginable! Honestly, apart from the trafficking and its effects on women, that's one of my greatest gripes with porn. I just can't take men who find scratchy polyester thongs in garish colours sexy seriously. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 08:34 AM |
| 96 | Why “safewording” is not as safe as the kink community paints it to be. 💔 ‘consent’ here really doesn’t mean much when it comes to trying to claim it isn’t abuse. There’s an unhealthy power dynamic where the ‘sub’ feels like they cannot deny their ‘dom’ of pleasure through being put through torture.Like, how is that even hot? I can see how a bit of blindfolding, or maybe tying someone to a bed with soft scarves, or using a feather on someone who can't squirm away can be kind of titillating on both sides of the action. But straight-up waterboarding someone? At that point, you're basically just thinking 'Oh, sir, it appears the kitchen accidentally got some sex into your sexualised violence- would you like a new one?' | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 08:32 AM |
| 42 | I was scrolling through IG and the amount of married/gf men following or commenting on naked women is absolutely insane!I'm also fascinated by the terrible quality of the porn even usually very 'refined' men are able to jack off to. I know SO many men who honestly are fairly cultured individuals. Men who know their shit about opera, theatre, are multilingual, and can order wine without making fools of themselves. Fancy-shmancy guys. And what do they jack off to? Grainy videos of girls with splotchy self-tanner in scratchy polyester underwear, wearing badly bleached wigs and saying hilariously cringy shit like 'oo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 11:17 AM |
| 30 | Stay. Away. From. These. Bum. Ass. “Estranged”. Single. Dads. (P.S - baby mama? Baby mama?….You mean the woman whom he impregnated and to whom he had two children? Girllll i-) the tomfooleryI have friends who are in family law and/or work as divorce attorneys and I, a so-far childless woman, was indeed surprised by this when I started hearing their stories from work. Lots of parents who show up in divorce proceedings are completely dysfunctional all around. It's usually the women who initiate the divorce and who have their shit together a bit more, but there's still so much of weird messing around going on, often as court cases are proceeding. Honestly, I consider divorce a huge re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/22 11:07 AM |
| 55 | New low, disabled men demanding prostitutes under "disability rights"Agreed. Truth be told, I firmly believe that a lot of criticism men level at women is very thinly veiled economic anxiety. For well-off women, the only men who have some sort of appeal are men who actually contribute to emotional and household labour and childcare and take care of their bodies and looks. Basically, likeable, clean, groomed, well-rounded men. And men are really scared about that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 04:06 PM |
| 152 | New low, disabled men demanding prostitutes under "disability rights"Just look at the way the female orgasm is treated. A friend of mine once briefly dated a guy who was surprised when she broke up with him because after three months of regular sex, he had not once made her orgasm despite regular and specific instructions on how to. That being a reason for a breakup sincerely surprised him. He kept saying he couldn't believe she'd break up with him over 'that' and that 'all of his exes just needed a few weeks to warm up to a new partner and then started orgasming… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/03/22 01:46 PM |
| 163 | I cringe. Why are women not allowed to care about the way a man present themselves? Why does he act like men don’t treat women they find unattractive like shit all the time? Also women are not that simple minded, a good looking scrote is still low value. Being HV is not based on mere looks & income.YES. Male grooming and fashion have really fallen off the wagon these past 20-40 years. I looked through my parents' high school yearbooks with them a while ago, and I was struck by the level of grooming present in the boys. Yes, some had acne. Yes, some clearly were stuck in an awkward phase. Yes, some had ears that stick out, and no, not all of them were The Kings of Fashion. And yes, one or two of them looked a bit grimy. But they were, as a whole, VASTLY cleaner, better-dressed, and groomed … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 11:07 PM |
| 5 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.We assume male desire has a complexity that it cannot have, because that very compexity in female desire is a direct result of patriarchy, which men never had to face. Female desire has to work with the strange dysfunctionalities patriarchy creates. Self-sexualisation, the way desire becomes less about 'desiring someone else' and more about 'desiring being desired by someone else'. The voyeur we all carry in our own heads, that little peeping tom that looks at us when we're all alone in our room… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 03:15 PM |
| 1 | Ofc he blames it on her and not himself2014 is eight years ago. If she's 34 now, she was 25-ish back then, and he was 40. It sounds like they were already dating back then, so I'm going to assume he met her when she was in her early-to-mid-twenties and he was just shy of 40. I'm going to go out on a limb here that in addition to some body issues and an eating disorder that he might have and is projecting on her, he's just incapable of being attracted to people who don't have that child-like look anymore. Y'know, that particular still… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 09:57 AM |
| 6 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.Exactly! How does 'being underestimated' help a woman when she's interviewing for a scholarship/job/opportunity? How does it help when networking? How does it help you find the right friends for you? How does it help you during a work presentation? How dies it help you when defending your thesis? Or during an oral exam of some other sort? How does it help you when applying for a loan? How does it help you when pitching an idea to your boss? Asking for a raise? It doesn't. But those are the momen… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 08:48 AM |
| 18 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.This is gorgeous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 04:33 PM |
| 78 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.I get it, but honestly, there's no way to win by changing our outward presentations, because our outward presentations aren't the issue here. The only realistic option I think exists for women in our day-to-day life is to find whatever sweet spot of performantive femininity makes you both halfway comfortable and able to interact with society in such a way that you can accrue real power and empowerment. The last part is what certain liberal feminists going all 'bimbofication is empowering' are mi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 04:24 PM |
| 56 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.I personally think that statment of hers is a cop-out. As someone who also relies on her intelligence as the main part of how she makes her life work- I work a 'brainy' job, I use my intellect to relate to the world and to people, and yes, I'm willing to admit that I'm not the most emotionally intelligent of all people- the benefits of being appreciated and taken seriously for your intelligence vastly outweigh whatever dubious benefits 'being underestimated' might convey. Being underestimated mi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 04:14 PM |
| 146 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.Exactly. The male gaze just is. It has very little to do with genuine attraction. Genuine male heterosexuality doesn't rely on lingerie, or breast implants, or a full bikini wax. Genuine male heterosexual attraction existed long before the invention of waxing and push-up bras, and men got it up back then, too. Sexual attraction in and of itself rests on the same-old, same-old markers of health it has been resting on for millenia, and those do not rely on specific haircuts, fashion choices, makeu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 03:59 PM |
| 276 | Why does being hyper feminine translate into bimbo for some of tiktok? I don’t understand this trend and the point. I love pink, purple, dresses, typically “girly” things. However, I don’t see how degrading ourselves with a misogynistic term that has no positive meaning would ‘take back our power’.There is a difference between being a person being attracted to women and a person fetishising femininity as it relates to subservience to their own demands and gaze. And many men fall into that second category. If you're attracted to women, there will be the occasional short-haired woman you're attracted to. Or the occasional woman who doesn't shave anything, including legs and armpits. Or the occasional woman who dresses 'stereotypically masculine'. Doesn't mean you have to act on that attract… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 03:39 PM |
| 6 | Men stating they fear “Marrying the wrong woman” is a mind game and power play.100% agreed. I know one woman who I would describe as a legitimate problem. She's the daughter of an old family acquaintance and just has the full set of issues: bipolar, incredibly verbally aggressive at times, pathological lying, incredibly promiscuous sex life, all sprinkled with a dusting of cocaine. You notice within five minutes of meeting her that something is wrong. I know the men she usually dates, and they are NOT duped into these relationships the way female victims of abuse usually a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 11:32 AM |
| 404 | I don’t even know what to say 🤦🏼♀️The truly fun part is that the two women are usually functionally identical from the perspective of scrotey men. Like, it's not like scrotes see some deep individual unique humanity in women or care about your individual interests and hobbies- a relationship boils down to 'sex, household labour, childbirth and childcare, and a bit of conversation ' to them, and those 'duties', both women usually fulfill equally well. It really isn't a difference between the women, it's ALL down to the scrotes re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 11:17 AM |
| 116 | What in the apron strings?!100% agreed that he doesn't see the girlfriend as 'his', as in, he was never planning on keeping her around forever. Likely, he doesn't consider women with tattoos 'wife material' and was always planning on eventually discarding her, probably using the lifestyle differences between her and his wider family as the pretext. I think part of why he's so angry is that his mother is now permanently 'marked' with a reminder of something he never wanted to keep around forever. Rather than being able to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 10:56 AM |
| 28 | Men stating they fear “Marrying the wrong woman” is a mind game and power play.Agreed! That's why I continue to maintain that a characteristic of HVM is that they have strict standards for their female partners that logically fit into the lives these HVM envision for themselves. Not 'standars' like 'must have big bewbs and not talk back', but standards in the realms of education, lifestyle choices, values, career trajectory, family planning, and financials. If a man doesn't have some sort of continuity there in the people he dates, he's either an idiot who doesn't know tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 09:09 PM |
| 25 | Men stating they fear “Marrying the wrong woman” is a mind game and power play.True. It's also why I am very, very suspicious of men who do end up dating that comparatively small contingent of women that are in some way truly problematic: With women, that is usually both very rare and very obvious at an early stage, meaning that if a man ends up dating some sort of problem, that was- to a certain extent- his choice. That, in turn, begs the question of why he chose that: was he looking for an easy victim? Is he himself in some way damaged? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 08:58 PM |
| 181 | Men stating they fear “Marrying the wrong woman” is a mind game and power play.I'm going to say something controversial here: As far as basic marriage functionality goes, 95% women can perform well enough that being married to woman A or woman B makes no difference for your average Joe. That's why men place such huge emphasis on attempting to find a new partner after divorce, that's why men abhor being single so much, that's why men are willing to date just about anyone as long as she's not an actively crazy person and/or refuses to have sex with him: as far as their perfo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 03:43 PM |
| 44 | This comment section on Youtube reminded me of FDS. Keep brunching and treating yourself like the queens you are ladies. 💕Agreed! Part of it is leeching, part of it is the knowledge that there is no imposing your will on a woman who has cash to throw around. Try playing the weaponised incompetence card with a woman who has a good few k more in her bank account than you. Or watch what happens when you yell at her, or get pushy around sex, or try to make important household decisions based on your convenience. Try it. It'll be funny. When a woman has money, a man can never fully relax into his semi-vegetative, vidya-… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 01:16 PM |
| 9 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!I was never a big online dater, but this phenomenon you describe is part of the reason why I deleted tinder just two weeks after downloading it. One of my non-negotiables for a partner is that they MUST have an active, independent social life that includes a sport and a creative/cultural pursuit. It's something I value greatly. And these guys on OLD just lie about their entire lifestyle- insane, easily disprovable lies. 'Avid rockclimbers' whose bodies don't match their alleged commitment to the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 12:01 PM |
| 6 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!Agreed! There is a huge difference between 'oh, we both are knowledgeable about and enjoy this thing, let's have an equal conversation about it in which both parties share relevant information, funny anecdotes, and insightful commentary' and 'Hello, I am a man interested in fucking you. Since I need a pretext to approach you, I have settled on this one eye-catching thing of yours, which I know nothing about and have no interest in. I now expect you to carry a conversation about this thing, durin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 11:19 AM |
| 7 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!I'm glad to hear you were able to manage your anxiety so deftly! And yes, I agree 100%. It doesn't even necessarily say something bad about a person if they can't or haven't accessed adult social spaces- if it's just anxiety, that's not a moral failure. What is a moral failure is turning around and going all 'wah-wah-wah modern society is so asocial' because you are too lazy to develop an interest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 11:14 AM |
| 78 | This comment section on Youtube reminded me of FDS. Keep brunching and treating yourself like the queens you are ladies. 💕I think the key comment here is 'women who brunch have the money to brunch'. A lot, if not all, of the criticism men level at women is thinly-veiled economic anxiety. Women have made huge strides on the job market. Since men are still fighting tooth and nail to reduce their role in a partnership to 'he works' (and even that's 50:50 these days) without being willing to provide household and emotional labour as well as childcare, that means men are becoming obsolete for this new generation of well… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 10:21 AM |
| 31 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!True! Just think of spaces like church, which was both the local hub for socialisation and the quintessentially female sphere for centuries. Being dragged to church every Sunday by their wives and mothers was how generations of Western men formed social ties. Since people back in ye olden days didn't really move away from their place of birth that much, they just kept getting dragged to the same church by wifey after their mother passed away, and bam, you've got yourself a functional community b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 08:32 PM |
| 26 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!100% agreed. I think it might even be permissible to say that they self-isolate from all spaces that aren't exclusively filled with an abundance of endlessly kind-and-forgiving, status-conveying, sociable-yet-unjudgemental, attractve women who are all magically willing to fuck them. Even a mixed space where they might be one or two such women isn't a sure enough bet, the only place they would deem acceptable is one where there are only such women, and they'd have a magical guarantee that they'd … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 08:20 PM |
| 9 | Beware “The Harem” EffectTrue that. Honestly, I'm both excited by this development- because God knows society tends to do better with plenty of women in leadership positions- and, frankly, shocked by how much men have dropped the ball. Looking at the college gender gap, it is abundantly clear that women are outperforming men on a massive scale. Enrollment stats, graduation stats, everthing. Girls in my country finish high school with their grades one full point better then boys, on average- think a difference like 'GPA … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 08:12 PM |
| 35 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!Also, this idea that community is weaker rests on fundamentally wrong assumptions about how community works in the modern age. I'd agree that yes, local, geography-based community ties don't play as much of a role as they did back in the 1800s. People from the same street don't necessarily spend all their free time together anymore. But you know what is thriving? Value- and activity-based communities. The entire notion of a group of people meeting once a week for, idk, kickboxing or a language c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 07:54 PM |
| 45 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!I swear, it's like there is an epidemic of men who never learnt how adults structure their free time, and who thus never even show up in the spaces where adults socialise. And then, they have the nerve to complain about how supposedly 'asocial' mOdErN sOcIeTy is. Like, sir, there was never a time in history where people got chatty with total strangers whilst running errands. There was never a mystical past where you could go up to a strange woman on the street and go 'howdy, m'lady, I noticed yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 06:45 PM |
| 107 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!Agreed! This type of content so easily betrays a fundamental unawareness of the mere existence of all sorts of typically adult social spaces. It's like this type of man, once leaving the structured environment of school where interaction is forced, has no social spaces left apart from...the bus. Also, notice how even in this comic, which already betrays the disconnected fantasy, the quality of conversation declines down to nothing once 'he' joins in? The woman makes a nuanced-if-incorrect point … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 04:21 PM |
| 8 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!You're right that there is an element of effort, an element of who is expected to carry the conversation involved! I think that's part of why society has no issue whatsoever with true conversations between strangers in context. They are actual conversations about the obvious shared interest of both parties, not just a stranger going 'I think you're pretty. Please conduct the social preliminaries by telling me about whatever arbitrary thing I've decided to use as a front for approaching you until… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 04:16 PM |
| 85 | Beware “The Harem” EffectLaw, too, at least in some countries. 60%-70% of baby lawyers in my country are female, but I don't think I've met more than a dozen of female senior partners in my life. The good news is that time is an inexorable force. Give it ten, twenty years, and all the senior positions will be held by women out of sheer lack of men who hold the necessary qualifications to fill them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 02:57 PM |
| 313 | I'm really interested in how society in your country/culture 'discourages interactions in social spaces'!I'm going to say something controversial here: I don't think society discourages public interaction at all. Like, not the slightest bit. I think that's a myth perpetuated by people (cough a certain type of man cough) who have never managed to develop adult hobbies and structure their free time in an adult way, and who thus never end up in spaces where adult public social life occurs. Society presents opportunities for interaction at every turn by presenting valid context for interaction. Basical… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 02:24 PM |
| 11 | Scrote whines about having no free time while his wife does all the work. Oh, and he’s cheating on her. 🤡That's what struck me too! How bizarre! That's a perfectly normal workweek that leaves multiple hours of free time every afternoon and night AND gives you weekends off entirely! I currently work roughly that, and I have plenty of time for taking a language class, a weekly round of tennis, AT LEAST 2-3 meet-ups with different friends, and all sorts of other fun little things. Granted, time is a bit more tight for my friends who are parents already, but even they no longer struggle once the kids a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 04:39 PM |
| 32 | What do we think about a man wanting to be treated like a trophy wife?That's it! Men are very aware that a 24/7 PA and a full cleaning service is something that is completely unaffordable even for high earners. You might be able to get some sort of staff and assistance in for a few hours a day, or have something like I did at my old job, but true 24/7 live-in staff is absolutely unaffordable unless your financial situation is far beyond the simple label of 'high earner'. And that's just looking at the PA-like and housework-related duties of a stay-at-home partner,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 12:30 PM |
| 90 | What do we think about a man wanting to be treated like a trophy wife?And that's the issue: men generally aren't trophy husbands or even stay-at-home partners because everyone knows they'll never hold up their end of the bargain. I once worked a job where I had full access to a PA-type secretary-plus situation. That woman became my favourite person in the world in two seconds flat. Everything was taken care of. My calendar was constantly updated, my favourite coffee was always in stock the office kitchen, if I needed something, it just magically appeared in my off… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 12:08 PM |
| 8 | In.ce.ls and Their Link to Violence Against the StateThis might be slightly off-topic, but I think the actual existence of the term 'domestic terrorism' says something fascinating about how our framing of politicised violence has shifted over the past decades. Looking at the origins of what one could reasonably describe as 'modern terrorism', we see a whole lot of political extremism: there's stuff like the anarchist movement of the late 1800s, revolutionary violence, heck, the rise of fascism and communism in the early 1900s. ALL of that relied o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 09:46 PM |
| 25 | Tips on how to protect yourself in every day life?Neither nor- get some good, chlorine-based mould removing cleaner or a strong liquid bleach. A good spray of that in the face is horrible. Feels like all the mucous membranes in your nose and eyes have been set on fire. Wasp spray or insecticides are also good, but often hard to refill into smaller spray bottles. If you're fine lugging them around, though, they work like a charm and often come in pressurised canisters, so they have amazing firing range, so to speak. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 09:32 PM |
| 35 | Yes, you are. 💋Agreed. I still dress up, but it's become much more experimental. I own a shitload of ankle-lenght patterned silk kaftans now and just flounce about in the world like some giant boho butterfly. Gone are the days of shapewear. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 07:48 PM |
| 50 | Yes, you are. 💋True. It's one thing not to be attracted to someone who his unhygenic or evidently in the deep pits of self-care-avoidant depression, but this isn't that. If you have real, visceral attraction issues with a freshly showered attractive woman in plain clothing, you're not actually into women, you just have a fetish for eyeliner and bodycon or whatever it is that woman was wearing before. It's always these dudes who want kids, too, and it just makes me go '????'. Like, it doesn't anger me, I just f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 07:46 PM |
| 14 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯I agree. You can sniff out this type of man on the basis of these posts alone. No truly smart man would do something as phenomenally stupid as marrying someone only for their looks. Everyone with two brain cells can tell you that's a really fucking dumb idea. The evidence clearly shows that these aren't smart men. These are crude idiots married to women of perfectly average intellect who have never invested a single iota of attention, concern, or effort to understand her interests and experience… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 09:40 AM |
| 9 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Exactly! You cannot tell me that a man who does something that idiotic is so smart that only Stephen Hawking reborn in a female body could satisfy his intellectual needs. The evidence clearly shows that these men are...kinda dumb. Assuming that their wives don't have some sort of clinical condition impacting their intellect, I highly doubt that this is an issue of the wives being stupid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/22 09:35 AM |
| 174 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Additionally, I sincerely doubt that all these pretty women are such huge dum-dums. I think it's more that these fuckers are incapable of even seeing a good-looking women's intelligence, even if it's 'just' a perfectly normal, average intellect. I will say that stupid people exist. I will also say that it is very, very rare to meet someone so utterly, pathologically dumb that you cannot have a single conversation with them. Evidently, these women aren't the best of matches for their husbands per… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 07:27 PM |
| 138 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯It's the golden rule: no matter how attractive, successful, well-educated, well-adjusted, kind or attentive a man seems, if he dates women who have obvious issues, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM. Genuinely well-adjusted people want other well-adjusted people. That desire is part of what makes them well-adjusted. They know that crazy is catching and that dysfunction is an STD. At the VERY least, men who date women with obvious issues are pathologically stupid. At worst, they are looking for ea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 07:07 PM |
| 1 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.Agreed! What kind of thinking is that?! Daughters in that sort of situation NEVER act as informed, free adults who are 'betraying' their mothers. They are children who have been groomed. Look at the daughter in the OP- she's been around this groomer for years. Even a normal sixteen-year-old would have very limited capacities to deal with an adult man expressing interest in her, nevermind a sixteen-year-old who has been living with a groomer for half her life. If a woman ends up in that situation… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 08:27 PM |
| 1 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.Honestly, I don't think the daughters are the issue here. If you've grown up with a groomer in the house, there's no way to develop without being impacted by that. I think framing it in a way of 'mother vs daughter' is entirely unhelpful, because a man like that is of no benefit to mother or daughter. The mother is a victim, the daughter is, too- in an even more horrific way. If this happens to a woman, framing it as a form of competition between her and her abused daughter doesn't help either m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 06:59 PM |
| 1 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.I am so sorry for what happened to you and I'm glad to hear you have an awesome career now! Forensic psychology, that's really fucking cool! Yeah, these stories are so, so common. I've met a few women in my life who were victimised by their mother's male partners, and all of these men were guys who seemed perfectly normal. This guy in the OP is a blatant, obvious case. He's likely a big dum-dum. But plenty of these men are educated, attractive, professional. In all of my friend's cases, the man … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 05:25 PM |
| 1 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.Yeah. This is not a sudden development, this has been going on since the very moment he met that girl. The girl is likely the only reason he ever got with the mother. Single mothers, do NOT live with your partners as long as your children live with you. Do NOT leave your children alone with your partners. Do NOT create a pseudo-father. This type of man is so, so common, and they aren't always as obvious as this. Stepfathers are a huge risk to children in the household. It's hard being a single m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 05:15 PM |
| 1 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.Honestly, I think that if you are a single mother, it's advisable to- at the very least- not live with any man. In general, I'd not let any man have other forms close contact with my children if I was a single mother. I realise that it's a big imposition on your personal freedom to basically refrain from a certain type of serious relationship and restrict yourself to the sort of dating that means your kids don't have to have close contact with your partners, but there are so many horror stories … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 05:07 PM |
| 7 | The fake proposal -- anyone else?More times than you can count?! Like, this guy was just popping out a ring at every street corner, or was it more like frequent verbal affirmations of his desire to marry you? I'm not trying to question your experience (props to you for getting out!), the idea of some dude whipping out a ringbox every time you have dinner with him is just bizarrely hilarious to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 01:53 PM |
| 101 | Oh, so NOW it's an investment?True that. The Birkin has been kardashianified, so to speak: in gaining publicity from Instagram influencers, it's become more recongisable to the general public, ripped off more often, and lost the air of discreet exclusivity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 12:07 AM |
| 5 | Love everything about this, people are finally waking up to itTrue. The way this artificial system is set up, both parties suffer, but it's women who take on the majority of the labour increase. In a natural environment with 5 adult men and 5 adult women, the adult men would probably work on the farm/in the family workshop with more or less the same daily structure as the one an office job demands: You go to the field/workshop in the morning, work, and return home. It's a definitive, closed-off segment of time that you invest during the day. In contrast, t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 07:09 PM |
| 6 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidThat's a good theory and for his sake, I hope you're right! If this is indeed a high schooler indulging in a bit of puberty-infused fantasy, he might still catch the train before it's too late, so to speak. If this is really a man in his twenties or thirties, he's barelling towards a brick wall that will not yield. Because that's the thing about retirement, taxes, old age, health issues: They are immovable, real, facts. There's no way around them, and they don't give a fuck whether you're prepar… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 03:02 PM |
| 5 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidYou can do this! Lots of women are socialised to make men and romantic relationships the centre of their lives, which can seriously fuck them over from a practical perspective. If you're told, over and over again, that men are the most important thing in your life, you obviously won't invest time into necessary life skills and milestones. Recognising that and decidig to make a change takes strenght and courage. Having that strenght and courage is what sets you apart from guys like the one in the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 02:53 PM |
| 6 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidThat's it! These guys imagine that it's possibly to transition out of this lifestyle into a stable relationship seamlessly, and it just...isn't. Not just because they haven't learnt relationship skills, but also because by investing so much time into the pursuit of 'banging' women, they inevitably start lagging behind their peers in other areas: Education, career, personal development. So by the time they decide that it's time to settle down now, they are inferior to the women their age in incom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 12:06 AM |
| 23 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidTrue! It's kind of an either-or situation. You either decide to outsource all of your basic life skills to women, or you live a bachelor life. The two are mutually exclusive. If you want that bachelor lifestyle- regardless of whether it is feasible for you on the basis of your looks, social skills, etc- you have to be able to function independently. If you want to outsource your life skills- regardless of whether that is feasible considering the vetting processes of increasingly larger parts of … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 12:00 AM |
| 118 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidTrue that. Isn't there this saying that if you spend ten thousand hours doing something, you become good at it no matter what kind of talent for it you possessed initially? Imagine ingesting THAT much time into something and still being THAT bad at it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:11 PM |
| 85 | Man Wonders If Leaving His Urgently Ill Girlfriend At The ER Was, Like, Rude Or Whatever.True that. It's just really baffling to me because even if you approach it from an ice-cold cost-benefit standpoint, engaging with social norms to a certain degree just makes your life objectively better. Like, if you're a man and you just invest the absolute bare minimum (like not abandoning your spouse in hospital and doing the dishes from time to time) your quality of life just skyrockets. The kind of sex, investment of time and labour, and day-to-day support a girl who is willing to be aband… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:10 PM |
| 130 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidEither that, or -and I say this honestly, not spitefully- he will literally end up homeless, or close to it. Seriously. Even down here in good-old Europe, with our fancy-pants social system, it's really bloody easy to end up destitute in old age if you never invest time and energy into your education, career, and financial advancement. Add him probably being in the US, with the associated healthcare situation and lack of social services, and him not sounding particularly well-educated or intelli… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:05 PM |
| 306 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidThat's it: how does this man have the time for this? What kind of lifestyle do you have to lead in order to make this kind of behaviour logistically possible? And, more importantly: how do you transition out of that lifestyle? Because you have to, at some point. You have to invest time into your career, so you can retire comfortably. You have to invest time into some real social connections and friendships, or you won't have a support network if push comes to shove. You need to do all the adult … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:34 PM |
| 308 | Man Wonders If Leaving His Urgently Ill Girlfriend At The ER Was, Like, Rude Or Whatever.Every time men do blatantly cruel, callous, dysfunctional, socially incompetent, raised-by-wolves shit like this, I am reminded of all the random acts of kindness I have performed for strangers and that strangers have performed for me. Seriously. Society would collapse without the small, minute shit: people telling each other their backpack is unzipped, people offering a stranger some water if they seem faint, girls watching out for one another in bars, all that. 'Watch out for people, help othe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:23 PM |
| 297 | Husband tries to get his wife to sign papers blindfolded then berates her for not trusting him. So shady!! I hope she runs!!'Doing tasks blindfolded as a regular form of entertainment' is a weird fucking thing to do. I'm willing to bet good money that he came up with that entire strange activity as a setup to get her to sign who-knows-what. People who want to have fun just play monopoly. You know, a normal, not weird-as-fuck thing to do. If it's strange, it's probably strange for a reason. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 12:26 AM |
| 132 | Love everything about this, people are finally waking up to itThe thing is: This model in which one single 'nuclear family unit' has to be self-sufficient is a modern invention. Looking at how humans lived historically, it just wasn't the case that two adults had to provide for themselves and their children financially and do the entire upkeep of household labour and childcare. Humans are designed to function in larger family units: Grandparents, parents, neighbours, cousins, friends and relatives all working together to provide for and take care of the en… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 01:55 PM |
| 49 | LVM advice to women on getting a guy'Humiliation' has fascinating meanings for some men. I once 'humiliated' a man by having a brief chat in my native language with a waitress who, by chance, also spoke that language. He didn't speak it. I just met this girl who also spoke my language, and we chatted for two minutes because we were both excited to meet someone who speaks that language far away from home. My native language is considered to be very hard to learn, but is also very 'prestigious' and useful on the job market. Basicall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 12:44 PM |
| 52 | Gross old men commenting on underage girls figure skating. Disgusting to know that even if we do not hear or see men's depravity towards us, it still exists.Maybe? Or it's the other one, whose leggings are tighter than the girl the one in the slightly cropped top has on? It's fascinating that even by directly contrasting these two girls against each other, we are unable to reliably pinpoint which one the 'naked one' is. That's how utterly artificial and superimposed-after-the-fact his perception of her clothing as 'provocative' is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 12:39 PM |
| 182 | Gross old men commenting on underage girls figure skating. Disgusting to know that even if we do not hear or see men's depravity towards us, it still exists."The other girl is half naked"- Sir, has your digusting brainrot also affected your vision? Where is the half-naked individual in this video? Can you point her out? Are you experiencing hallucinations? Is the half-naked girl in the room with us right now? This just goes to show: It has nothing to do with your clothing, because men will superimpose their perception on your clothing after they have already sexualised you. He sexualised her, because something is wrong in his smooth, tiny brain, and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 11:47 AM |
| 8 | If you want to lay over and die, don't take the rest of us with you. Kick him to the curb nowExactly! The only people who have weird fetishes going on but who can be left intact if the fetish was removed are those who are upfront about those things with their partners early on. And even that only holds true for fetishes that are, for lack of a better term, just 'weird' without being 'morally questionable'. Like, if someone is into feet or latex or shit like that, that's not a moral failure in and of itself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 11:13 AM |
| 58 | A 52 year old man I know admitted to me that he wants to go for 20-29 year olds 🤢🤮Sixteen is such a fascinating choice for one's "spiritual age". Imagine being spiritually sixteen for a second! imagine a grown person sitting down at work on a Monday, still kinda-sorta-drunk from her best friend's birthday party, downing some coke at nine am (because good Lord, the kind of things we ate before lunch when we were at school, am I right?! How the fuck did we stomach all sorts of weird-ass snack food at like, ten in the morning?) and going all 'UGH. I can't believe Brenda expects … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 11:09 AM |
| 50 | If you want to lay over and die, don't take the rest of us with you. Kick him to the curb nowAs someone who knows plenty of divorce lawyers: It's not uncommon for people, mostly men, to hide a very sick fetish until some formal commitment is made. This entire thing is obviously tied to sexual dominance for him: It's a fetish. Yes, it's possible to hide a fetish for a year. But- and that's a big but- the challenge for a man like that isn't hiding the fetish. Yes, someone can hide a fetish for a long-ass time, but that's not the issue here. The challenge is hiding the fact that he is the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 10:51 AM |
| 41 | If you want to lay over and die, don't take the rest of us with you. Kick him to the curb nowYeah. This is a fetish thing. Peeing on a wedding dress is such a weird activity that you don't really think of it unless it's a fetish thing. I'm a lawyer and plenty of my friends are divorce lawyers. It's not uncommon for people, mostly men, to withhold crazy fetishes until marriage or some other formal commitment- they feel like their partner can't get away now, so they can bust out whatever crazy shit they've secretly been wanting all along. This dude obviously has some sort of weird-ass deg… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 10:42 AM |
| 7 | Men who hide their political views from youI totally understand your situation and empathise greatly. In my country, the distribution of liberals and conservatives is a bit different than in the US: Lots of 'high-brow' universities and cultural institutions are heavily linked to conservatism. It's a different form of conservatism than the one in the US- not as deluded, not as extreme- but it's still more conservative than my family or I. I'm a rarity in that I do have a certain kind of education, but am very liberal, and thus, I am surro… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 12:21 PM |
| 86 | Men who hide their political views from youThanks! It's a harsh truth, but it is the truth: Lots of men fake a certain level of empathy for women or support for women's rights because they know that publicly saying 'Frankly, if I am perfectly honest, deep down, I do want my partner to deal with the housework- that's what I do my best to enforce in relationships!' will have social consequences. You will not benefit from these social consequences, because in your home, society is not present to enforce them. You don't have a Greek chorus c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 02:46 PM |
| 227 | Men who hide their political views from youThe most misogynist stance he is willing to defend and the most misogynist peer he is willing to associate with represent what he's willing to do to you. That's it. That's the rule of thumb. Whoever the most extreme politician he's willing to defend is: That is what he would do to you if push came to shove. Whatever issue or person he's willing to go all 'well, I don't necessarily agree with what X said on that, but you've got to admit that...' for represents his range of action that you will ev… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 12:54 PM |
| 8 | How dare rich and successful men not have harems of 16 year old virgins, like I would have If I had even 1/10th of there powerYeah, Brigitte's grooming of Emmanuel Macron is despicable. You do not fuck the teenager you teach, period. She's a creep- a creep that got her husband the French presidency, a creep that functions very well as a first lady of France, a creep that seems to be very educated and cultured, but still a creep. I worked as a TA for a while. My students were just a year or two younger than me and all adults, and I still felt like seeing them as objects of attraction would have been seriously messed-up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 12:25 PM |
| 59 | You won't give your wife the assurance/insurance she needs to know that she will not financially suffer for having a child with you but you will still TaKe CaRe Of YoUr ChILd. The audacity. 🤡I'm just going to come out and say it: The only men who I take somewhat seriously in their demands for a traditional-inspired marriage are men who make upwards of roughly 280k a year. There, I said it. Being a traditional husband means providing for himself, me, and any children we might have at the lifestyle level I'm accustomed to (because what use is marriage if it means a downgrade of your lifestyle?). Additionally, it would mean paying me a stipend of sorts for my own financial security sep… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 10:47 AM |
| 117 | She did that! A woman can’t even run a business without a scrote having the audacity. She cleared his ass and I know his ego was deflated.Money equals control and access in many men's minds. It's why you have all these LVM refusing to pay child support- in their minds, child support has nothing to do with supporting the child they had a hand in creating, it's the price of admission into the family unit. So if child support is demanded, but they don't get control over their ex and the children in return, they quite literally do not see the point of paying it. The moment money is involved in an interaction they believe is connected … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 11:37 AM |
| 42 | Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.I agree, this is one model- extreme, but real. There's also small-scale applications: all those LVM who just don't do any housework and have a live-in mommybangmaid sure as hell love the fact that she feels like she can't leave because of the kids. So do all sorts of other men: wherever there exists a relationship dynamic that objectively benefits a man, he has a vested interest in keeping the woman tied to him. It's almost sad, because I'm quite sure for many of the anti-choice women out there,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 11:29 AM |
| 122 | Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.That's it. For most men, denying abortion access has fuckall to do with whatever beliefs one might have about the sanctity of fetal life. Rather, it is the (conscious or subconscious) knowledge that pregnancies and children are the only way they will ever reliably force a woman to stay with them as their choresandsexslave, so any loss of control in that area is REALLY frightening to them. They aren't defending 'fetal life'. They are defending a relationship model that allows for female exploitat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 10:17 AM |
| 165 | I love it when scrotes just perfectly illustrate why we need FDS. This is the type of guy you will weed out with the "unreasonable" rules he mentionsHot men are so, so rare anyways that focusing exclusively on looks is not really a viable dating strategy for women. I don't mean that women should not value their partners' looks- women absolutely should only date men they are viscerally attracted to. I mean that that typical male pasttime of 'chasing hot girls' relies on the existence of PLENTY of extremely attractive women a man might attempt to pursue, whether successfully or not. This not viable for women because there aren't enough truly h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 09:48 PM |
| 23 | What the fuck is w one with my friendAnd honestly, even if all of that was true, would it change anything? Separate beds or not, the end result remains that you'll never get full commitment from a married man. Doesn't matter whether his marriage is a sham held together by the kids, he'll still never be free to be socially committed, out and proud in public, or even just out amongst friends, with the mistress. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 07:50 PM |
| 18 | No words about how disgusting this is.I highly recommend it! Honestly, it took me a relationship or two to realise that this is a pattern, and vetting for it has become indispensable to me! I usually date the successful, 'good at life' types, and there's just this subsection within that type that has very warped ideas about how their successes should correlate to sex. The conversation during which this man told me he 'felt like a god right now' was one of the defining moments of my dating life, I think. It put something into place w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 03:55 PM |
| 71 | No words about how disgusting this is."They don't feel like victory is complete before they had sex"- this, 100%. It also applies in small-scale, mundane ways. A friend of mine was assaulted by a male friend of hers after he, a pro runner, won a race. He'd been into her for a while, but she had rejected him. After he won that race, he basically felt that as a 'victor', he had the right to fuck her that night. She got lucky- someone walked in on him holding her down and groping her at a party and got her out of there. Even apart from… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 12:37 PM |
| 83 | Can an LVM turn into a HVM later in life?There's also a genetic component to many forms of addiction. I don't want my kids inheriting whatever genetic predisposition a former addict might carry, no matter how long he's been clean. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 09:46 AM |
| 49 | Just remember LVM and scrotes will easily get dwindled by their “online gfs”That's what it is. It's an intruiging difference between romance scams aimed at men and those aimed at women: When scamming men, scammers use pictures of models. When scamming women, they usually use photos of attractive-but-not-outstanding men and then use emotions as a hook. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 12:16 AM |
| 13 | Dating men who are grievingTrue. Who tf dates when they've just lost a family member or close friend? Honestly, I'd be very put off by anyone doing that. Crass, tasteless, emotionally unstable. I've lost family members, and my first instinct certainly wasn't to download tinder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 12:50 PM |
| 4 | Know your boundaries 🚧 and enforce them without guilt.Might I introduce you to the concept of 'positive boundaries'? Those are boundaries too, and they might change your mind! When we think of boundaries, we often think about 'negative boundaries' first. Negative boundaries are simple: "Don't do X to me, or I will have to react in some way." Those are often the very first boundaries people learn to establish for themselves. A toddler crying and running to his mum because a kid he was playing with on the playground hit him is establishing a very sim… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 12:08 PM |
| 36 | Don't be with man who is squeamish about women bodyAlso, what the fuck is up with this concept of any special occassion- vacations chief of all- being associated with sex? Of course people like to have sex on vacation, both because sex is fun and because hotel beds are amazing, but I would not consider a vacation 'ruined' at all if I could not have sex during it. Honestly, I think this notion that women must be 'sex-ready' when on vacation with their boyfriends is part of some weird frame of mind in which sex is the rent a woman pays in exchange… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 11:59 AM |
| 191 | Man wants to have a kid with his wife's younger sister....the traditional way. This poor woman is actually confused about it. WHAT.Even ignoring the entire 'sister'-issue...Is this little excuse for a man not aware that the good-old 'wank into a cup, have woman put it in her vag'-method exists? He acts like having sex with the sister is the only option once IVF is out, when there is the tried-and-true favourite of centuries: Hand him a cup, send him to the bathroom, hand the woman the cup and a needle-less syringe and have her put her legs up for thirty minutes once she's done with everything. No one needs to see anyone nak… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 06:18 PM |
| 20 | Above all, FDS has taught me to value my time. Following FDS would have prevented this from even happening imo100% agreed! It's not like we're prudes who don't understand that there is a certain titillation in playing around with someone you trust. I have no issues whatsoever with doing all sorts of intruiging, pleasure-focused things or having them done to me. A bit of blindfolding, mild use of restraints, playing around with power exchange in small, trust-based, pleasure-focused ways: I'm down. The key is that it must be focused on pleasure, not on pain. That's where LVM get it wrong both when they wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 06:01 PM |
| 67 | Above all, FDS has taught me to value my time. Following FDS would have prevented this from even happening imoGod, this. I'm fairly successful in academia and my job, so I hang around a lot of similar men. I've dated all sorts of highly sucessful dudes, and there is one part of FDS that is often hard to reconcile with dating these men: Here on FDS, we focus on porn addiction/sexual dysfunction as it relates to men wanting to get violent in bed and wanting to 'dominate' in strange, unhealthy, unpleasurable ways. Funnily enough, that has never been my experience. I don't think a single man ever wanted to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 03:04 PM |
| 68 | Has a man ever left you or started abusing you when something negative happened to your looks?Your weight fluctuating by a few pounds is NORMAL. I'm a very athletic woman who spends lots of time playing tennis and mountaineering, and my weight fluctuates by roughly 7-9 pounds as well. It depends on water weight, where in your cycle you're at, what you've eaten the day before, how much salt is in your system. Men have the same thing going on. It's human. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/22 07:59 AM |
| 252 | Swipe. Man goes on 63 dates, does not use FDS tactics, still single. Huh...Four dates a week also implies that he has a very, very empty life. No person with a job, hobbies, and friends has time for that many meet-ups with random strangers. I bet these women notice immediately that he's got nothing going on for himself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/22 07:54 AM |
| 195 | LVM are out there thinking men don't treat women like shit. Drew's response is on point as always 👑In my opinion, men like that aren't lying. Their standard for what 'good' behaviour is is just totally removed from reality. These men truly do get treated 'badly' by women in their own subjective experience, because 'good' treatment for them is the following: Total obedience, total lack of autonomy, total servitude, unconditional support and nicety. They do feel like they are being treated badly, but they feel it in moments no sane human would qualify as 'bad treatment':. They feel treated badl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 02:33 PM |
| 67 | Is Leaving Early the New Coming Home Late for ZVM Who Buy S*x Workers?See, this just fascinates me. I don't feel sexy at five in the morning. Five in the morning is not a sexy time. How the fuck do you not feel ridiculous standing there, in your bathroom, looking at your bleary-eyed self in the mirror as it's still pitch-black outside, thinking 'yeah, I just got up at an unholy hour to have parking lot sex'? When I get up at four thirty in the morning, my only thought is 'this is awful, why did I book this flight so early?', not 'yeah, let's get reay to fuck'. I'd… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 11:54 AM |
| 6 | Stick to your boundariesThat's it! These guys think that once they decide they are 'ready', there will be an army of women just waiting for their commitment, and that they themselves will magically have the skillset for a relationship just because they decided that it was time for one now. And that's just...not how it works. By the time these guys decide that it's time to settle down, they are somewhere between 28-38, in a mediocre career, with no real relationship experience, living a lifestyle that isn't 'adult' enou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 11:48 AM |
| 35 | Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂I don't think engineers are inherently more problematic than other men, the issue is more that 'engineers' on OLD usually aren't engineers! Certain professions (lawyer, 'healthcare provider' implied to mean doctor, pilot, and engineer are the main ones, I think) show up on OLD at such an alarming frequency that these men HAVE to be lying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 08:53 AM |
| 76 | Game show ideaThink of how much they'd love it! Every morning, they could rise from their sheetless Martian beds, eat their breakfast of Tesla-branded cold hot pockets, and then offer their daily morning prayers to the King of Techbros, the Master of Mars, Lord of NFTs, Keeper of the Dogecoin, His Highforeheadness, ELON MUSK! Honestly, they'd fight each other for a chance to board the spacecraft. They'd love it, Elon would love it, we'd love it. It's wins all around. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 09:49 PM |
| 76 | Game show ideaI read this very interesting paper once: Basically, the minimum size for a group of humans to establish a sufficiently genetically diverse population somewhere is roughly 40. So 20 men, 20 women, and you've got yourself a group that you can drop off on some uninhabited island without running into issues with incest a few generations down the line. This means that 20 men would be ample for the continuation of the human species. We'd just need Lundy and 19 more. The rest, we could send to Mars to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 09:42 PM |
| 61 | Only 19 years old 😭 she shouldn’t tolerate thisImagine how a thirty-year-old woman would react to being treated this way. Don't think he'd make it to date two. It really shows that scrotes dating younger has nothing to do with aesthetic or sexual preferences. It really just is the fact that they know women their age would not entertain their bullshit for a second. Thankfully, there are very, very few girls willing to date older men. The girls that are willing, though, are often especially vulnerable, so my heart breaks for them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 05:38 PM |
| 36 | Midlife crisis is reconciling your youth and impending death…another one bites the dust 🙄That's a rough 46. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 05:34 PM |
| 44 | Midlife crisis is reconciling your youth and impending death…another one bites the dust 🙄We welcome you with open arms. I'm bi and currently in a phase where I am theoretically open for a proper relationship, but mostly just want to meet a few people, see some museums, have a few good meals, and maybe hold hands a bit as we walk through a gallery together, you know? I've been doing that with mostly women for the past three months and let me tell you, life is great. Women are cool shit. I met a female semi-professional chess player and got to live out all my 'I'm on a date with Beth … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 05:32 PM |
| 41 | Stick to your boundariesIt's truly bizarre. If I went out with someone new, I'd maybe start asking questions about their attitudes surrounding sex if nothing really sexual had happened around...idk, month three or four? And I'm not talking about 'not having had PIV sex by month four', I'm talking about 'never done some petting by month four'. I think that would prompt me to ask some questions about expectations and timelines and previous experiences, but it would still not be a deal-breaker per se. I've had entire glor… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 05:28 PM |
| 109 | Stick to your boundariesYup. u/anon3325, you were at the end of your story with this guy either way. You lost nothing. You only had the choice between it ending through whatever fucked-up shit this situation is, or it ending through him ghosting you after sex. The current situation is the preferrable option, out of the two. I sometimes wonder whether these dudes realise that the way they set up their private lives, failure is the only long-term option. For now, I suppose they are perfectly happy operating from a place … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 05:03 PM |
| 424 | Stick to your boundariesIt's really baffling how little patience these dudes have. Honestly, five or six dates? Spread out over a month? That is not a long time. I've waited longer than that to receive packages in the mail. And to equal 'five or six dates' with 'traditional' is baffling, too. I'd say someone is very 'traditional' if they want to wait till marriage, not if they want to wait a month or two. LVM are so fried from instant gratification that they seriously cannot stand to wait for something for longer than … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 01:36 PM |
| 15 | 🤡True that. I've asked women out, and it's really not a big deal. If you are a well-groomed, well-dressed, sane-seeming and socially skilled person, the worst that will happen to you is a nice conversation followed by 'oh, I'm sorry, but I'm not interested!'. How utterly terrifying. The only men who are afraid of rejection are men who have reason to believe that women will reject them in some other, much more forceful way, which is usually only the case for creeps. In my experience, women are ind… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 09:04 AM |
| 29 | Scrolling Reddit is downright depressing: women with no dignity or self-respectTrue that. The one exception are your children- young children under all circumstances, adult children under many/most. As a woman, you're beholden to yourself and your children. Everyone else? Noise. You struggle for your children because you put them into this world. You didn't put whatever trashfire man is being an issue in your life into this world, ergo you're not beholden to him and do not have to sacrifice anything for him in the expectation of a reward that will.never.come. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 09:56 PM |
| 23 | Scrolling Reddit is downright depressing: women with no dignity or self-respectThat's it! Life isn't some sort of high school class on being a self-sacrificing endless 'giver' where you get a good grade, a gold star, and your teacher's affection for just endlessly giving, tolerating, and helping. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 08:50 PM |
| 37 | Scrolling Reddit is downright depressing: women with no dignity or self-respectHonestly, I think you're right and that even non-religious women are influenced by this. For the record, I do believe in God, though I don't necessarily tie that to a specific religion per se. But even in very secular, atheist people, you still have the idea that sacrifice and aid are things that the universe will somehow reward you for. It's drilled into you in every moral teaching. It's the plotline of every single movie there is, whether it's for kids or adults. It's the focus of the way most… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 07:09 PM |
| 441 | Scrolling Reddit is downright depressing: women with no dignity or self-respectI think there's one thing that women need to understand: No one is coming to reward you for your sacrifices. There won't be a day when 'The Committee of Wifely Excellence' knocks on your door to hand you an award for extraordinary supportiveness and niceness in the face of adversity. There won't be some magical moment in which The Universe, God, your husband, your community, or some random force rewards you for playing the role of Good Wife. It won't happen. There is no magical mechanism in plac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 04:01 PM |
| 92 | She’s speaking all factsAgreed! I think the total refusal to give oral sex to women is part and parcel of a few very specific types of LVM, for example the more 'macho' types and certain flavours of repressed guys. But by no means does it encompass all flavours of sexually useless male. In fact, I think total refusal to give oral is becoming less and less common as more 'macho' types of LVM are gradually replaced by more 'manchild' or 'Mr Sensitive' sorts of LVM in younger generations. There is a specific sort of LVM t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 03:55 PM |
| 254 | I could not find ONE comment saying she’s in the right. He expects her to come over on the first date but gets offended when she mentions him paying for tea. A $2 item. 🥴I have probably paid for more women's hot beverages in my life than this guy has. Incidentally, I've probably also had sex with more women than he has. And made more of them cum. Coincidence? My dear Watson, I think not. Honestly, I know what it's like to be in love with a woman, especially in those early stages. If my ex had asked for unicorn steak on our first date, the only question I would have asked before whipping out my credit card is 'with griffin wings on the side?' Women are pretty d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 10:08 PM |
| 14 | Somehow this is worse than those room rentals on CraigslistSame. My brother works in finance and regularly encounters these dudes at events, trying to give him some sort of elevator pitch on their 'lifestyle app'. They're closely related to that crowd of meme stock-investing bros who sink their entire life savings into obscure cryptocurrencies. Most shocking one so far had an idea for 'the next big app', but could barely code- his entire coding experience basically amounted to a few weeks of entry-level classes in college, working with a now basically d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 09:58 PM |
| 55 | Somehow this is worse than those room rentals on CraigslistTrue that. This entire startup culture is an artificially inflated venture capital bubble. That's all it is. I mean, just look at their supposed business ideas: I've yet to meet a single one of these startup dudes whose idea I truly found innovative. It's all derivative bullshit, or so niche-yet-overpriced that there's just no market for it. ('healthy soda for five dollars dudes', anyone? Or 'vegan ready-meal/snack/workout powder thingamajic'? Or 'lifestyle app', or 'new way for businesses to co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 10:36 AM |
| 32 | I am just so... disappointedThe only reassuring part about this current travesty men are creating for themselves is that for many, the effects cannot be hidden. If you have PIED, or take forty minutes of extreme stimulation to cum, or are hypersexual to the point of every little thing being a porn category to you, you can't really hide that. A soft dick is a soft dick is a soft dick. You can try dressing it up as a medical issue, but even then, the evidence remains. The danger isn't necessarily not spotting the signs, beca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 10:26 AM |
| 68 | I am just so... disappointedThose 'hobbyists' are a scourge, and it's really hard to sniff them out. Especially if the 'hobby' in question isn't some stereotypical LVM interest like anime or video games, it really can take a while to figure out whether a man's relationship to his hobby is deeply unhealthy. I encountered a runner once who was just batshit crazy with this. The issue wasn't the running per se, it was the additional time he spent reading, researching, and talking to other 'enthusiasts' about running. I had abs… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 10:03 AM |
| 106 | FDS lessons from a social worker-in-trainingThe only homeless women I've ever encountered are women who were either so old or so obviously and 'unattracively' mentally ill that they were 'of no use' to predators. It's heartbreaking, but think about it: You have never seen a homeless woman in her twenties who seemed like she'd clean up decently. Those women are taken immediately. The only ones who remain on the streets are either old or have some other thing going on that makes them unsellable on the sex trafficking market. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 09:06 AM |
| 125 | Somehow this is worse than those room rentals on CraigslistHonestly, even marrying real entrepeneurs whose business isn't really fucking stable is one hell of a risky move. A friend of mine married one of these startup guys. She is a doctor, he had a seemingly very successful startup that had been going well for a few years and was set for success. I was already worried about her when I learnt she hadn't signed any sort of prenup to protect her family money, and then, the obvious happened: His venture crashed spectacularly, and as they were married, she… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 08:50 AM |
| 16 | Men start looking for reasons to hate/intentionally misunderstand you when they realize you’re smarter than they expected?I think hate is in some way connected to it, but not the way most feminist spaces (including this one, often) like to say: They don't hate women, they hate losing their convenciences and privileges in life. Like, if your kitchen appliance breaks, you don't hate the appliance. That makes no fucking sense.The appliance is not sentient, it hasn't done anything, there's nothing to hate there. You hate the inconvenience, you're frustrated that you have to call maintenance, that you might have to go w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 08:38 AM |
| 36 | Men start looking for reasons to hate/intentionally misunderstand you when they realize you’re smarter than they expected?It's important to remember that misogyny is taught to men when they observe the behaviours and lives of other men, not when they observe women. Objectively speaking, the patriarchy is a sweet fucking deal for the boys. If a man grows up seeing his dad monopolising his wife's emotional and household labour, sees how his father effectively has a live-in therapist-maid-sex doll, and recognises how immensely beneficial that might be, misogyny breeds. Misogyny does not stem from, is not related to, a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/22 10:05 PM |
| 20 | On men frequenting OF/internet models/cam girls etc : If this were the 90s would you date a man who carried around a box of swimsuit model magazines 📖 so he could ogle them a couple times an hour??It is highly efficient! I'm sometimes surprised by how low men's porn tastes go, even for men who seem fairly smart, cultured, and refined. Certain porn preferences don't even make women get the ick. They make them get the chuckle. I seriously don't know which of the two kills a woman's libido faster. I think most of us are phsyically incapable of wanting to fuck a man who likes stuff that is just kind of...pathetically hilarious? All those hentai-anime freaks, the schoolgirl skirts, the pigtail… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/22 08:09 PM |
| 75 | This is why casual sex is a big no-no. Thoughts?That's it. If people have the skillset to get what they want, they get that thing sooner or later. If someone who ostensibly is on the lookout for something serious hasn't ever found something like that by 25, that's just chance. If he hasn't found it by 28, it's starting to get sus. If he hasn't found it by 40, he either lacks the skillset or is lying about what he wants. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 10:14 AM |
| 14 | Generalization of neggingI believe you're on to something. In my opinion, both negging and playing devil's advocate are often tactics employed by people who just haven't mastered the art of adult conversation yet. It takes some real social skill to lead a thoughtful, intelligent, funny conversation. Apart from empathy, charm, and tact, you also need knowledge about varied and interesting subjects and a deep understanding of the rules of politeness. It's not that easy. A certain brand of person- mostly men- have never le… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 10:11 AM |
| 285 | This is why casual sex is a big no-no. Thoughts?Yeah. If you're still in that 'casual dating' phase by 37, you probably don't want to ever have a serious relationship. In women, that's fine. Women who are dating casually into their forties usually are HVW just looking for a bit of fun and companionship, but who don't want to get dragged down by some man. In men, it has a very different meaning. A man who is still dating casually at that age has been evaluated and found undateable by the general female population. Something would have stuck if… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 09:05 AM |
| 263 | 21yo woman and her 30yo 🚩 homeless boyfriend 🚩 has moved in to her home 🚩within 2 months 🚩*he said whatever he needed to say in order to get into the apartment of a girl 9 years younger than him. I'm sure the sex is a bonus, but this guy is evidently mainly after the free place to stay. She's a decade younger than him not because he necessarily prefers younger women aesthetically or sexually, he just knows no thirty-year-old will let him leech off her this way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 09:38 PM |
| 7 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 50 - The Tinder Swindler is Kinda Mid For A ScammerIt's really fascinating. I'm in a large city too, Raya just hasn't caught on in my country yet. Still, even in my large city, in certain fields, everyone knows everyone. I could sort of understand acting awful in a large, anonymous mass like Tinder where you can just set up your profile with a nickname and not link it to your identity, but on Raya, where the userbase is made up of people you probably are somehow connected to socially and it's common to use your actual identity? How reckless. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 09:35 PM |
| 5 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 50 - The Tinder Swindler is Kinda Mid For A ScammerHave you also found Raya to be...very disappointing? I've only had two brief stints on OLD: Tinder for two weeks once (horrible, never again) and then roughly a month and a half on Raya. I will concede that it is better than tinder, but that doesn't say much. I was downright shocked at the amount of men with rather sensitive careers who were willing to be gross right out there, in public, on a profile connected to their instagram. The circle of Raya users in my area is also fairly small, so I en… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 06:14 PM |
| 340 | If he can't plan a date, he isn't worth going out with in the first place.A man my sister went on three dates with complained on the third date that contrary to the first two dates, her hair wasn't done. He took her on hike. A hike. The only reason she had said yes in the first place was because it was a hike much below her usual level of athletic difficulty, and she wanted to check it out to maybe do it in the future with a few friends who had expressed interest in hiking/mountaineering, but weren't on the mountaineering level of our mountain-obsessed family yet. Lik… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 04:32 PM |
| 49 | The occupation of men on OLDI am a lawyer, with a law degree, working mostly in corporate/finance law. The amount of men I have met who claim to be 'lawyers' and then cannot answer simple questions about their job before crumbling and admitting that they just any sort of office job is staggering. Like, all sorts of men, as long as they work wih paperwork somehow, claim to be lawyers. Not just on OLD, I've legitimately met friends of friends at some party or other and had them tell me about their high-fly lawyer carreer and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 03:47 PM |
| 20 | It's okay to be angryYou're perfectly right we make the better boyfriends. I'm bisexual and had two proper long-term relationships with women. One of them was a lesbian, the other one had never dated another woman before. The girl who only had previous experience with men would sometimes start doing this weird shit which I later realise were holdovers from her previous experiences with men. Like, she'd tell me she wanted to make a common, well-known, simple dish for dinner and ask whether I could pick up the ingredi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 09:26 AM |
| 21 | Valentine’s Day cringeI've said this before, but I think it bears repeating: Men who feel inferior to you in terms of looks and grooming will eventually start negging you. I've cut that entire contingent of cargo pants-wearing, sweatpant-obsessed graphic tee-bros from my dating pool. All of them. I like putting effort into my appearance and am conventionally attractive. Dating men who don't match that effort usually leads to a fuckfest of negging and complaints about the supposed 'frivolousness' of my time investment… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 08:59 AM |
| 51 | Textbook Terrible V-DayIt's also such an infantilising term. 'Brat'- that's what you call children who aren't well-behaved. What an uncomfortable dynamic to insert into an insult, on top of insulting someone in the first place. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 04:30 PM |
| 77 | When being a pornsick pickme trying to fulfill an unasked for male fantasy goes wrongIf this is real, this guy has slept with that friend before. Or at the very least had an emotional affair with her. I 100% guarantee it. He already had her number, they obviously had previous contact. She just invited his affair partner into her bed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:25 PM |
| 12 | Jordan Peterson + Childless WomenHonestly, I've never encountered a young woman who wasn't a flat-out sugarbabe whose age range on tinder included forty-year-old men. These scrotes are delusional. And that's it- failure to launch. 99% of these stories are bullshit anyways, and the 1% that are true are pathetic manchildren who never adjusted to adulthood. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:22 PM |
| 49 | Textbook Terrible V-DayThat sentence had me giggling! I would do anything- then boy, why did you do nothing?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:20 PM |
| 22 | Textbook Terrible V-DayHonestly, apart from them being a fad and possibly able to give you bacterial infections, I'd be so fucking scared of one of them getting stuck! TMI, but I have a small vagina and if I had to fish out an egg-sized item, I doubt I could comfortably insert my fingers in addition to said egg-sized item to do so. I am very wary of anything that doesn't have a handle or string to pull it out again going in me! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:19 PM |
| 24 | Jordan Peterson + Childless WomenYou're right about them living in a parallel universe! But of all the weird beliefs redpillers have, this strange notion of it being realistic for a normal fortysomething man to reliably and regularly date twentysomething women is the one that boggles my mind the most. Most redpillers are twenty- and thirtysomething men, I believe. Do they not remember the way their social life functioned when they were in their early-to-mid twenties? I doubt they regularly met forty-year-old single women in a p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 02:14 PM |
| 16 | Male depravity makes it to the front page.And after all, that's exactly what he's doing! I'd assume criminal intent, at that point. The fact that his intent is just to, idk, have weird, creepy conversations to soak up female intention doesn't change the fact that he is lying about the girlfriend to make himself seem 'safe'. It's super creepy. I also wonder whether he will at some point realise this is a tactic that can be employed with criminal intent and, at the very least, start copping a feel from a girl or two he chats to that way i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 09:10 AM |
| 82 | Jordan Peterson + Childless WomenThey also ignore a very practical fact: women in their 20s don't know all that many single men in their 40s ready to date them! I'm 24. This is the exhaustive list of single men in their 40s I know in some personal capacity: my gay uncle a distant relative the man my cousin divorced a few months ago a postdoc I worked with last year and who I spoke to twice done. EVEN IF I wanted to marry an 'established' man in his late thirties/early forties RIGHT NOW, the only non-incestuous option would be t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 08:55 AM |
| 47 | The relationship subs have delivered on my expectations for Valentine's Scrotery but this one really hit me for some reason. I think its the massive cope at the end.This stood out to me too! Obviously, it depends on what exactly his qualifications are and what job he's looking for, but as far as I am aware, most of Europe is currently in a labour shortage and the US is impacted by the Great Resignation, right? This should be a favourable climate to him! This dude really has her gaslit to the point that she doesn't believe basic facts about the current job market ☠️ She believes his drivel over it being 'so hard' to find a job right now over objective source… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 08:37 AM |
| 21 | Thoughts? How would you debate that? Seems like it's from a male perspective?!Agreed! It's important to differentiate between 'treating someone well' and 'wanting to date them'. Yes, a HV person will still treat you with respect even if you have issues. But no HV person will want to DATE someone who is a wreck. If you're in a bad state, the only people who will want to date you are other people who don't have their shit together and people who seek to exploit your weakness. I'm a firm believer in not dating until you have a stable, firm baseline established in your life. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 07:57 PM |
| 56 | Male depravity makes it to the front page.Agreed! A single man chatting me up happens every week, and the motive is clear: they want sex. That might be an unwanted advance, but it's still transparent. A man with a girlfriend insisting on having a chat? What the fuck does he want? Human trafficking alert going reeeeeeeeed! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 07:50 PM |
| 4 | Imagine being so mentally weak that your entire mood depends on over-identifying with men who throw a ball around.That's important. I always, always make a point of having a big night out with HIS friends early on in a relationship, ideally with plenty of alcohol. On these nights, I drink very little, but am discreet about it. I also try to pretend to be a bit shy. My goal is that after a few things, they either forget my presence or perceive me as totally non-threatening. I'm just there to observe how he and the people he considers admirable and good act in an environment where they feel like they're safe … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 08:26 AM |
| 51 | I'd leave. Straight up would not make it down that aisle if my man was dressed like thisIt's a social group that can be found in the UK. They are itinerant people without a stable address who mostly work jobs related to fairs/festivals (think roller coaster operator) or perform other sorts of odd jobs and seasonal labour. Lots of them live in boats or caravans. They have a culture of their own- being a traveller isn't like being homeless, it functions almost like an ethnic group. Parts of it are fascinating- I recommend googling it, there's some interesting stuff to be found there! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 08:17 AM |
| 15 | Porn sick scrote almost killed his girlfriend performing kink. THIS IS DANGEROUS!Oh, agreed. If you're a wreck, the only people you'll attract will be other wrecks or people who seek to exploit your weakness. Stable, safe, kind, good people of both genders have options and generally tend to want stability, kindness, and safety for themselves. That desire is part of what makes them stable and safe. Their options mean that they can find such people, and their self-esteem means that if they can't, they stay single. Like, look at this girl in the OP. She's young as fuck, so it's… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 01:47 AM |
| 25 | Porn sick scrote almost killed his girlfriend performing kink. THIS IS DANGEROUS!Honestly, it's a chicken and egg situation for so many of these girls. They feel shit because they have shit partners, and they pick shit partners because they feel shit. It's a toxic cycle. I have often wanted to grab some vague acquaintance just to shake her and yell 'BE SINGLE FOR A YEAR!' I think that's the only way to break this toxic self-reinforcing loop. These girls have to break the cycle by being single for a good long while and fixing their issues. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 07:32 PM |
| 123 | Porn sick scrote almost killed his girlfriend performing kink. THIS IS DANGEROUS!The falling asleep part is what's killing key too! Not getting her to hospital has an obvious reason- he prioritises his safety from legal repercussions over her health. There's at least some sort of interest of his he's defending there, even if it's morally reprehensible. Letting her fall asleep right away, which is OBVIOUSLY dangerous for someone whose mental state is evidently not right after an injury... There's not even the excuse of 'trying to protect himself' there. He would have been saf… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 01:52 PM |
| 91 | Porn sick scrote almost killed his girlfriend performing kink. THIS IS DANGEROUS!That's it! If someone passed out around me for ANY reason, there'd be no discussion about taking them to the hospital immediately. This 'boyfriend' might have made the right noises of concern here, but his behaviour evidently shows that he was more concerned with protecting himself than her! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 01:48 PM |
| 136 | Incel saying the quiet part out loud: we’re not people to them.Going your own way is very, very easy if you are able to function independently, but virtually impossible if you depend on female labour to fulfill your physical, financial, social, and emotional needs! These guys realise on some level- probably by being aware of how dependent on their mothers they are- that without a woman, they'd have serious trouble managing day-to-day life. Their mothers are often the people handling all their daily needs and their only real true stable social connection. If… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 06:54 PM |
| 23 | He wants to move in togetherSis, let me tell you this as someone who has lived through it: don't do it. Don't sacrifice the woman you can become on the altar of a life that would be safe. If it goes like it went for me, you'll cry like a dog for a few weeks- of course you will, you're not a psychopath! I spent a month bawling my eyes out about this wonderful man I let go. But even as I was crying, I was already so, so thankful to myself for taking this chance. I wish this guy all the best. We meet every year or two at some… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 01:01 PM |
| 24 | He wants to move in togetherI was in more or less the same situation once- the only difference was that he was 24 and I was 20. I didn't move. This is my life now: In a few weeks, I'll be done with my PhD. I speak four languages. I am immensely professionally fulfilled. I have amazing friends. I date around a bit, mostly indeed men who are a 'better' fit than my boyfriend from back then, but I'm still not looking for a relationship actively. In fact, I've been free of serious relationships since I left him. This freedom wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 10:52 AM |
| 55 | Mistakes were made, let us count the ways…It also makes me wonder what is going on with the actual mother. Very few mothers just flat-out have no contact with their teenage children, but even in scenarios where the biological mother is not or barely present, most kids still have a certain sort of love for her and are very reluctant to let some random other woman just step in and take over the role of mother for them. Basically, I see two options: Biomum either has SEVERE problems that caused the kid to reject her completely, or the dad … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 01:07 PM |
| 11 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄I thought the same for a long while- I kept noticing a certain pattern of behaviour in some men I dated, but I thought I was overanalysing things. I wasn't. I'm a PhD student and have a habit of dating men of a similarly academically inclined type. I dated (or rather 'met with'- I go on quite a few dates, but usually eliminate men around date 2-5) a BROAD spectrum of academically inclined, successful men from different fields and disciplines. Obviously, certain types gravitate towards different … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 12:49 PM |
| 7 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄That's it! Nothing about this man's bone structure in and of itself is ugly, the fact that he's perceived as 'average to questionable' is ALL down to a lack of grooming and an obvious personality issue! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:36 PM |
| 137 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄Spot on, that might well be part of it, too! It's part of this mindset in which men with wife who is not working outside of the home think of their income as exclusively their money, irrespective of the fact that the wife is working and is entitled to half the family money by virtue of being the wife, the mother of the family's children, and working within the house. Like, they can't stand the thought of 'their' money being spent on things that do not directly benefit them. Because fuck the fact… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 12:14 PM |
| 276 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄Aw, thanks! And seriously, after figuring out the connection between 9-in-1 soap ownership and men getting whiny about the expensive algae goo I put on my face every morning not being eMpIrIcAlLy pRoVeN tO dO aNYthInG, life got so much better. I like my algae goop, I like my ridiculous dresses, I like my heels, and something I'm doing has to be working somehow, because the end result is great. Fuck the noise. In the end, most of it is economic anxiety anyways. It threatens them that women have t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:52 AM |
| 134 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄Amazing priorities, aren't they? 'oooh, let's put on this garment that looks like the wound wrappings of a highlighter that got into a gunfight and take a picture with possibly the worst combination of background-lighting-facial expression imaginable, but at least no one can see my hairline!' Like, sir. If your receding hairline was visible in an actually decent picture of you taken at an appropriate venue with fun shit happening in the background, you actually being well-dressed, smiling, and- … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:39 AM |
| 133 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄Another reason not to date these dudes in that 'forgettable twentysomething male' uniform of cargo pants and a hoodie- you just know their attitude to personal care reflects the level of care they put into their surrounding. No person who doesn't moisturise has a clean floor. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:34 AM |
| 107 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄Oh, definitely. And even if he was, that wouldn't be a death sentence. Either figure out a treatment plan (but no, can't have a product in your cupboard!) or shave it and figure out a sense of style that works with that. But both of those would require day- to-day effort that's not Manly Male Blood Bone-Smashing Surgery, but rather daily, minute, little tasks of grooming and styling and learning about 'feminine' things like fashion and clothes and shampoos, so...nah. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:29 AM |
| 623 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄That's why I don't date men who don't have a defined personal style that goes beyond the Boymaleman Uniform of cargo pants and hoodies. Same goes for grooming. I'm an attractive woman who enjoys fashion and looking good. In my experience, men who don't have that sense of 'I am well-groomed, well-styled, well-dressed, attractive' get an inferiority complex real fucking quick. I just don't want to hear about how it's so fucking terrible that my hairdresser charges more than 0.000002 cents for a ha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:18 AM |
| 629 | It wouldn't have anything to do with that hateful, repulsive personality. Nah, must be the cheekbones. B*tches so picky 🙄Disregarding all the incel bullshit, this is a perfect illustration of how men approach day-to-day grooming, styling, and presentation. This fucker is wearing a woolen traffic cone on his head, what we can see from the rest of his outfit could send me to sleep with the Techbro-y Boredom of it, he's taking a pic in horrible lighting with a horrible background and a murderous facial expression, his skin is crying out for moisture like a salt-coated slug, and I can see that he needs to exfoliate ev… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 11:02 AM |
| 5 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Q1: You mean something like 'Oh, if you want to see her Wednesdays, you have to pick her up directly from school. Because if you want her Wednesday, we'd have to move her ballet class to Tuesday, and then I'd have to move my Tuesday shift to Wednesday so I can bring her to ballet and could thus not bring her to you on Wednesday.', in the full knowledge that he won't make the drive to school? Or 'Oh yeah, sure you can see her Sunday, but she has to get up early on Monday, so you'd have to see her… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 08:31 PM |
| 13 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Honestly, that might well be part of it. After a year or two in family court, you've seen shit that makes those typical emotionally abusive middle class dads seem lovely. I catch myself looking at the women who are trying to protect their kids and getting this intuitive gut feeling of frustration sometimes. I know it's horrible, but family court just desensitises you, and a woman crying because her ex said X mean thing or doesn't feed the child healthy food does frustrate you if you had a hearin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 10:58 AM |
| 34 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.That's ideal! The best outcomes for women typically happen when they find that lovely, male, tall, good-looking, married, deep-voiced, slightly-older-than-the-ex lawyer and let him do it all. It's the hardest part, but the more you are just a calm, nice, stable, non-alienating background figure, the better your chances are. Your lawyer is like your pokemon. Pick a good one, and let it fight for you, because it's stronger, knows the fight better, and has more tricks up the sleeve than you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 10:19 AM |
| 21 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Gosh, that sounds horrid. It's also all-too-common: Abusers know that children are a woman's greatest weakness. They are willing to say just about anything to get their punching bag to stay. Do not believe your ex. Yes, you can lose it all, if you don't follow the rules. If you do however follow the rules and the advice set out by your lawyer, it's virtually impossible to fuck up that spectacularly. It just isn't realistic. Through friends, family, and myself, I've probably seen multiple thousan… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 10:06 AM |
| 15 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Sure! Bluntly put, many women think they 'know' their ex. They don't. They know, to some extent, whatever shop front he put on during the marriage, when it benefitted him. 'But he was horrible to me during the marriage, surely I've seen the worst of it!' 'But he is such a good guy!' 'But he said we could do this calmly, as a team!' 'He says he'll give me X!'' Yeah, no. Men escalate and change in divorce. You don't know what lurks underneath. The deadbeat dad who never changed a diaper will sudde… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 09:54 AM |
| 46 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.What one of my friends likes to say in such situations is that in a marriage, lots of women play in 'team mode' and assume their partners do the same. Whether their partners did that or not, divorce represents the dissolution of the team. There is no team anymore, and thus, there is no obligation to be a team player- meaning that everyone who pretends to be a team player is probably out to trick you. This 'team mode' analogy, padded out accordingly with relevant examples, really works for him. S… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 09:24 AM |
| 21 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Honestly, when prepping for divorce, there's usually only three rules: Get a good lawyer, do what your lawyer says, and keep your ex in the dark about your intention to divorce him as long as possible. Once you realise your marriage isn't working, the first person you talk to shouldn't be your ex, it should be your shiny new divorce lawyer. They will tell you exactly what you, in your specific situation, need to be careful of. Most people lose things because they believe they know better than th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 09:01 AM |
| 13 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.It's tricky, but the first step for her should be to retain a new lawyer. I know we're expensive, but you don't dig yourself out of a shitty hole like this without one. She has time right now. She should use it to find the tall, handsome, deep-voiced, married, a-bit-older-than-the-ex male lawyer of a family judge's wet dreams. Sharky, but not slimey. Without knowing which country your friend is in and what exactly happened, it's usually advisable to follow the custody arrangement to a letter for… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 08:38 AM |
| 23 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Depending on the country you're in and its laws, it might. It would also have to potential to harm you long-term by violating the third golden rule ('no parental alienation'). If you consider your ex so dangerous that any minute of contact puts your children at an acute risk of dying through violence, it's imperative that you figure out what is legally and strategically advisable before you leave him. You need a lawyer for that. In most cases of abuse- and I know that sounds fucked-up- it helps … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 08:27 AM |
| 37 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.No. It goes well sometimes, because all risky things go well sometimes, but it's never advisable. I'd never, ever do it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/02/22 08:13 AM |
| 97 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Both. The primary motivator is usually a need to maintain control over the ex. Certain types of men perceive family as a form of property. The 'property' leaving their control is bizarre to them. It's like your furniture just growing legs and walking out from under you. They have a perverse need to maintain control over their ex and their children. Money is another factor- apart from the wish to conserve money by not having to pay as much child support, there's also this notion in many men's min… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 10:00 PM |
| 40 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Congrats on your successful divorce! Yeah, repeat rounds are all-too-common. The good thing is that your kid ages out of it, at some point. There's no point fixing a visitation schedule for a fifteen-year-old, they just go where they want to. As long as you maintain your strategy, you can usually carry on to that point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 09:55 PM |
| 14 | Don’t date cops reason #2,387: female district court judge tries to rebut the statistic that cop families have 2-4x domestic violence rates. She literally is a judge and can’t grasp that her experience isn’t a statistic.Should the worst happen, that last part will help you. In your particular case, depending on your specific issues, your lawyer would likely advise you to have appropriate evaluations and cite expert witnesses that could certify your inability to be an effective primary parent. You'd effectively be shittalking yourself in court, which would be unusual, but possible. A good lawyer would help you walk the line between seeming too ineffective of a parent to be granted primary custody, but not being … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 07:44 PM |
| 146 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Oh yes, lots of men get tired of childcare, especially toddler care, within a few months. By then, there's usually a new woman involved, though, which complicates dynamics. As a rule of thumb: Most men will lose interest after a few months to the extent that you can file for a new distribution of time that is more favourable to you. Few men, however, will lose interest completely. How fast he loses interest and how much interest he loses depends on the age of your child and the availability of e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 07:40 PM |
| 164 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Yep. Your greatest nightmare is being perceived as hysterical. That's death for women in court and the reason you want to have a male lawyer. It's disenheartening, it's cruel, it's the reason I never specialised in family law despite originally being interested in it, but it what reliably produces sucesses for women in court. Family court is a winnable game, but you gotta know the rules if you want to play sucessfully. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 07:29 PM |
| 313 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.God, that one. From the moment you decide to leave, everything that comes out of your ex's mouth- every threat, promise, suggestion, and tiny piece of advice- gets the same reaction: 'Alright. Okay. Yeah. Sure.', followed by you changing precisely nothing about the plan you developed together with your lawyer. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 07:27 PM |
| 34 | Don’t date cops reason #2,387: female district court judge tries to rebut the statistic that cop families have 2-4x domestic violence rates. She literally is a judge and can’t grasp that her experience isn’t a statistic.That's difficult, because the law doesn't really give a damn about your wishes once you are a parent. The reasoning is 'the kid is here, you had it, you didn't have an abortion, now, it's the parents' responsibility unless they are unfit and need the state'. Generally speaking: Step I: Marry/Partner up with a man who likes kids more than you, so he'll be more likely to take on primary custody in the event of divorce. Step II: Set down the father's primary caretaker role in a prenup. Step III: Ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 07:06 PM |
| 248 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Yes! There's this thing we call 'girl, why the second one?!'-syndrome. Most contentious divorces happen because having the first kid revealed that the dad is a shit person and a shit father. So you'd think there'd be one kid in the family, right? Nah, women go on to have another one with a dad who has already revealed himself to be shit. Custody issues with a six-year-old aren't nice, but with an infant? Good Lord. An infant relies 100% on the parents. Unsupervised visitation with a shitty dad p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 06:58 PM |
| 224 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Thanks! I hope it helps some people here. I'm really bloody angry right now at this messed-up system. A friend of mine lost three cases last week, all leading to mums losing custody to abusive fathers, or having to grant more (unsafe) visitation. In all three cases, it was down to the mums not following his advice out of some misplaced sense of seeking 'justice'. There is no justice to be found in most family courts. Do not seek what is not there. Play, play, play like your kids depend on it, be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 06:51 PM |
| 301 | How to win in family court: a PSA from a lawyer.Yes, 'stability' is so, so hard. But it's so, so important. There's this concept of 'environmental continuity' in family law- meaning that whichever parent can provide the environment that would mean less change for the kid post-divorce gets points from the judge. That means living close to the kid's school, living close to the kid's friends, living close to family the kid already knows. Ideally, you manage to kick your ex out of the family home and seize it for yourself (in a calm way). If that… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 06:44 PM |
| 53 | Don’t date cops reason #2,387: female district court judge tries to rebut the statistic that cop families have 2-4x domestic violence rates. She literally is a judge and can’t grasp that her experience isn’t a statistic.That's it: Women get 'minus points' for the most minute of shit in family court, whereas men get 'gold stars' for shit like not being actively addicted to drugs. It's glaringly unfair, but saying so won't help your or your child in practice. And it's hugely frustrating to see women losing because they refuse to apply the rules of this fucked-up game out of some false sense of justice. Family court isn't about justice, it's about your kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 06:36 PM |
| 68 | Don’t date cops reason #2,387: female district court judge tries to rebut the statistic that cop families have 2-4x domestic violence rates. She literally is a judge and can’t grasp that her experience isn’t a statistic.Honestly, I'm thinking of deleting it here and making a post of it- I saw three women lose custody last week for stupid, stupid reasons, and I'm on a fucking warpath right now XD All three of them fucked up basic rules of court, and all three of them did it against their lawyer's advice. Honestly, family court is winnable, but lots of women don't even know the rules of the game and it's so fucking frustrating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 06:20 PM |
| 156 | Don’t date cops reason #2,387: female district court judge tries to rebut the statistic that cop families have 2-4x domestic violence rates. She literally is a judge and can’t grasp that her experience isn’t a statistic.EDIT: I made this a post, which can be found here. Alright. I'm from a family of divorce lawyers, in the legal field myself, and know a lot of divorce lawyers. Because of some cases I've seen in the past few days, I'd like to reiterate a point for the FDS women around here, especially those that have children: The rules of family court are not the rules of real life. Family court is a game, it's often rigged, and lots of women walk into it like sheep into the slaughterhouse. They think 'Oh, my e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 05:42 PM |
| 34 | A man will date you for weeks, have you be exclusive with him JUST to have sex and leave as soon as he gets it. This scares the hell out of me about dating, I wonder how one can vet this kind of behavior.That's such a rare, rare job, and the people who do have it mostly work office jobs without travelling. People who are a) marine engineers and b) actually working in that stereotypical 'oil rig'-scenario are so, so rare. And if you're 'in between jobs', you're obviously not working on an oil rig! Honestly, even if this guy had really been a marine engineer, it would have been a red flag. People don't choose their jobs for no reason. If you, as an adult, actively choose a job that requires weeks … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 08:55 AM |
| 20 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”I think that crucial difference is when it becomes recruiting behaviour. Women who seek to normalise abuse, seek to encourage other women to try such degrading acts, seek to recruit women into onlyfans and threesomes, and women who defend the shitty actions of their friends' boyfriends- these are women who need to be held accountable for their recruiting and enabling. But even those women only need to be held accountable for their recruitment of other women into this horrible life, not the abuse… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 11:58 AM |
| 18 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”Same. For a man not to cum after forty-five minutes of vigorous sexual activity that he claims to like (no matter how morally reprehensible it is- he likes 'face-fucking, so let's just run with that fact) he either has to have seriously broken his dick with porn or not be interested in his sex partner in a way that goes beyond a simple lack of attraction. This guy either broke his dick with an extreme deathgrip, or he ne needs both genderless and extreme practices in order to counteract the fact… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 11:52 AM |
| 40 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”This is even a difference between the way porn for women (typically written erotica) and porn for men (typically visual/video porn) depicts male sexual dominance/female sexual sumbission. Don't get me wrong, I consider all sexual practices displaying excessive BDSM themes highly suspect. But it's undeniable that mainstream pornography often works with the trope of the 'dominant man' and the 'submissive woman'. That includes porn videos and images on mainstream sites (which are a medium most ofte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 11:44 AM |
| 78 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”In LVM-world, 'not attracted to her' doesn't mean 'I don't want to have sex with her', it means 'I want to have sex with her, but only the kind that either bores her to tears or actively hurts her'. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 11:33 AM |
| 119 | Age Gaps in the MediaSeriously, lots of today's thirty- and fortysomething women are testament to what good self-care, getting a divorce, and not having five kids can do for you. I know so many women in their forties who are just hot. All of them either single or in relationships with men who aren't additional, lazy, video-gaming, housework-challenged children. Looking at them is all the confirmation that being single is preferable to being with a LVM. I know divorcees who seemingly aged in reverse following them du… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 11:18 AM |
| 159 | The unique relationship dynamics of baby boomers and how they shaped today's twentysomething LVMI heard they're logical creatures, sis, when I tell you I died XD But you're exactly right. This is a generational dynamic we're part of, and boomer and gen x women are the ones truly pulling the short straw: They were thrust into this dynamic without any ability to anticipate what they would end up in. Looking at younger millenials and gen z, they know. Whenever I talk to my girlfriends about this, there's this overwhelming consensus that ending up in this dynamic is our greatest fear. No one i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 10:31 AM |
| 6 | The tinder swindler documentary 2022 on netflix: sex pozzy culture needs to end because it only hurts womenThat, too! Their age, too. They were in their late twenties and early thirties, old enough that they could reasonably believe he wasn't looking for a sugarbabe, but an equal partner- that aided him in creating this vibe of 'we're a team, I share my life with you, I love you, your burden is my burden and accordingly, my burdens are yours'. It neatly slotted him into the type of 'young billionaire looking for very attractive, but still age-appropriate and roughly equal life partner' rather than th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 10:23 AM |
| 151 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”Even if this was something she enjoyed, which it isn't, she would have been bored out of her mind after fifteen-twenty minutes, max. And if I was that man, I'd be highly, highly concerned about my dick. Obviously, he likes 'face-fucking'. That says a lot about him and his sexual inabilities, but he likes it, so let's just run with that fact. If someone does things I like to me for forty-five minutes, I cum three to four times. If it takes him that long to produce just one orgasm, that means his … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 09:22 AM |
| 51 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”Agreed. Penetration is something else because most men are purposefully stalling their orgasms for the sake of their partners when having PIV, but during oral, when there's no holding back, I generally expect men to cum in under ten minutes. That has been my general experience, and that's a timeframe I consider enjoyable. I wouldn't accept anything else. Honestly, there's nothing sexual out there, not matter how pleasurable or fun, that I could do for forty-five minutes without getting bored. I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 09:18 AM |
| 83 | this woman is a “love coach” she’s literally paid to say shit like this and scrotes are all over this shit 🤣Masculinity and femininity in heterosexual dating in the 21st century are like a dance. You can't dance with someone who doesn't know the steps. Yes, there's an element of wink-wink-nudge-nudge in the display of certain masculine or feminine tropes in the year of our Lord 2022- of course there is. But without going through some of these tropes, there's no way to get into headspace necessary for the dance. If a man doesn't take my coat, I don't even wait for him to pull out my chair because I kno… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 08:35 AM |
| 53 | Age Gaps in the MediaSome of these men do take pride in looking like trash. A friend of mine briefly dated a man who would seemingly purposefully dress like absolute shit for events that were important to her. Like, sandals and ungroomed feet to his first meeting with us, her friends, in an upscale restaurant. We all suspected it was some sick form of humiliation tactic, but after it happened for the third time, she sent him back to the streets. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 08:04 AM |
| 18 | Scrote obviously has a porn addiction and is neglecting his kids and gaslighting his wife. I can't even with these men anymore.Honestly, I think that awareness is becoming much more common! I don't know whether it's a difference between Gen Z and Millenials, or just dependant on what kind of crowd any given woman hangs out with, but at least amongst my friends, the majority is aware of this dynamic. I suspect it's because those ten years age difference, whilst they might not be a huge gap between you and me, often represent a certain generational gap between our mothers. The average thirty-year-old and the average twent… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 11:39 PM |
| 1127 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”Wait wait wait. He somehow doesn't cum from 45 minutes of intensive oral, but it's her orgasm that is a lot of work?! Like, sir. No woman out here needs the duration of a school lesson's worth of oral to cum if you know anything about what you're doing. She isn't the one who takes 'a lot of work' here. I don't even know how hard that guy must strangle-deathgrip his dick in order not to be able to cum from three quarters of an hour of oral. I've never dated any man who lasted anything approaching… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 11:17 PM |
| 39 | Scrote obviously has a porn addiction and is neglecting his kids and gaslighting his wife. I can't even with these men anymore.That's it! My greatest fear- and the greatest fear of any other woman in her early-to-mid-twenties I know- is to get stuck in a situation where I work and do everything else for a man who contributes nothing but a paycheck, or not even a paycheck. I'm fine with being single. I'm fine with having kids on my own through a sperm donor. I'm not fine with being one of these overworked mothers who have to manage their husbands like additional children. I'm not fine with video gaming, depression-claimi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 07:31 PM |
| 143 | Scrote obviously has a porn addiction and is neglecting his kids and gaslighting his wife. I can't even with these men anymore.Oh God, that depression argument. According to a certain brand of man, depression's main symptom is the inability to wash dishes, and 99% of the male population suffer from it. Or ADHD that magically doesn't affect their work performance, but makes them unable to recognise a dirty floor. Failing that, they're on the spectrum, with symptoms consisting exclusively of being a dick to their wife and only their wife. I don't date men who claim any sort of mental illness, no matter how benign. Here, I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 05:55 PM |
| 55 | The tinder swindler documentary 2022 on netflix: sex pozzy culture needs to end because it only hurts womenYes, it's bloody genius. The enemy of a fraudster is doubt. He managed to dispel all doubts about him really loving them. Had he targeted women who didn't have their shit together, they would eventually have doubted the mere fact that a billionaire is into them. But these women? One of them literally had an ex who really was in the diamond trade. The other one worked in luxury fashion and had similar romantic experiences. Of course they believed that a billionaire was into them: That lined up wi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 02:28 PM |
| 166 | The tinder swindler documentary 2022 on netflix: sex pozzy culture needs to end because it only hurts womenI watched this because a friend recommended it to me, and honestly, the thing that struck me most was how intelligently this guy picked a certain 'type' of woman. All of these women were well-off, educated, intelligent, and some even had good boundaries. One of his victims literally rejected him romantically. The one thing they all had in common was that they were around a certain socio-economic crowd a lot, but weren't necessarily part of it just yet. They were moving up in their careers and a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 01:46 PM |
| 211 | The darker underside of the “cool girl”That's it! Being 'one of the guys' never leads to actually receiving the same treatment as 'the guys'. Just because 'the guys' ocassionally let these girls play a round of video games with them doesn't mean they are seen as equal in the friend group: They're meat. Sooner or later, one of 'the guys' will demand that the woman pays up: Her body is the rent she pays for pseudo-acceptance in the group. Depending on the precise kind of men she associates with, that can be framed overtly by her being … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 12:21 PM |
| 1 | That time I walked out on a date after his first sentenceI genuinely think that with remarks this extreme, most men who utter them are doing it on purpose to filter out women who will genuinely put up with anything. Like, this guy in OP's post went to an extreme that goes far beyond 'I love that you don't use nail polish, I find that looks artificial on other girls' or bs like that. He violated a plethora of obvious social rules and customs. Once you reach that extreme, you're either completely socially inept, or you're doing it on purpose. If you're … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 11:37 AM |
| 26 | LVM f*cked around, found out.It's not even that! To 'teach someone a lesson', which in and of itself is a highly questionable way to frame educating/raising someone, the person being taught the 'lesson' has to be able to connect the lesson to their misbehaviour! Like, the entire framing of 'teaching someone a lesson' is weird and unhelpful for children and adults both, but at the VERY LEAST, you have to understand what you're being punished for in order to be able to make changes in your behaviour! This girl was just being … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 07:09 PM |
| 35 | LVM f*cked around, found out.It's such a twisted logic, isn't it? In his gaga-verse, if you let your good friend use your place to store a change of clothes because you live right next to her gym, you somehow become the one who has to pay for a replacement if one of her shirts gets a hole in it XD That's just not how property works. If I put food that intend to eat later in my roommate's tupperware, it's still my fucking food and I don't get to present my roommate with a bill! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/02/22 07:04 PM |
| 19 | I love herAgreed. Animator is one of these jobs that can be 'super-high-paid professional at the top of the food chain working for a major motion picture company and making mad bank' just as well as 'hentai production'. The fact that he didn't seem to grasp what exactly the spectrum she could be working within is tells me he probably did not know the word. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 04:47 PM |
| 2 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!That's it! My dad moved for my mother as well- and since we're European and countries here are smaller, he wasn't just moving across state lines, he was moving to an entirely different country and learnt a new language in order to be naturalised there. Like, that's the sort of thing people are willing to do for love. But these guys really want us to believe that they couldn't move across state lines, within the same country, where the same language is spoken, where laws and culture are fundament… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 04:05 PM |
| 3 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!That's it! If they had REALLY met the love of their lives when they were 23, they would have just married her. Maybe not right away, but they would have made it work somehow, or at least attempted to make it work. The fact that all of these men so easily left these women for diffuse, ill-defined reasons like 'not ready' (not ready for what?! Marriage?! Good Lord, then date for a few years before marrying!) tells you EVERYTHING. These men didn't love the phantom ex either. They didn't like her th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/02/22 09:17 AM |
| 52 | The Phantom Ex - when avoidant men pine for a past loveSame. I'm a phantom ex as well, and during the relationship, he was just...meh. Nothing horrible happened, but I didn't get the impression that he was all hat into me at all. When I broke up with him, he tried to convince me to take him back, but even those efforts seemed very lacklustre. A few whining phone calls, a few bouquets, nothing much out of the ordinary. It didn't feel very monumental at the time and was easy to ignore. I was very, very surprised when I learnt later that he would spont… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 10:23 PM |
| 7 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!It's all about that sweet, sweet Madonna-Whore Complex. Any woman who dumps them becomes the ultimate Madonna and thus gains unimaginable value in their eyes. Obviously, the moment that woman would then say 'yes' again, she'd become the Fallen Madonna, the ultimate whore. Honestly, the maximum level of emotion you'll ever get from these men is what they expend after you dump them. That's it. That's the peak. There's nothing more to be found there. You've got the maximum, if you were to get back … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 11:13 AM |
| 8 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!Whilst for 'the one that got away', he is a college boyfriend, a life stage she never took too seriously, at best, and a 'thank God I got away from THAT' at worst. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 11:11 AM |
| 92 | Dirty Talk in the Sheets: Yay or Nay?Agreed! I like partners who talk in bed, I find total silence a bit strange. I myself am chatty in bed as well, and I don't like it when I'm the only one talking. No man ever said anything demeaning. The worst that happened were things that were slightly awkward, but that obviously just came out wrong in the heat of the moment, and that everyone can laugh about. I've said that sort of funny weird shit as well and honestly, those are some of my favourite sex memories. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 09:45 AM |
| 44 | Spotted this ad under "housing" on craigslist 😬My dad rents out a small flat in a college town and has had to institute that rule, too. He was forced to do so after one guy simply did not clean for seemingly the entire duration of his one-year stay, and another did not call maintenance about a broken faucet for MONTHS, causing expensive damage to the walls and a mould infestation. Often, there just is a difference in maturity between women and men in their early twenties, and that comes through with stuff like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 09:41 AM |
| 81 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!Yes, that boundary-setting element is one part of it, too, I think. In the end, a lot of these LVM have a Madonna-Whore Complex, and in a strange sort of way, the woman who breaks up with them is the ultimate 'Madonna': The woman who said no, who turned away from him, becomes this beacon of virtue because she said no. It's almost sad, because that means they see the act of 'liking them' as devaluing the person who commits it. They dislike themselves so much that anyone saying 'yes' to them loses… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 12:46 AM |
| 36 | Pinnacle of being a privileged liberal feminist 🙄It's going to be far sooner than that. January is barely over, and we're at 230k. Reaching 300k would mean a bit more than 6k per month, and we're growing faster than that, I think. Online platforms tend to grow faster as they grow over a certain critical treshold anyways, so I think 350-400k by the end of the year aren't unrealistic at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 06:14 PM |
| 459 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!What continuously fascinates me is that it's not like that mythical ex got better treatment from them. I dated one guy for a bit who is still very hung up on me now, three years after our breakup. I sometimes get updates from common friends that he's still a mess and has this unfortunate tendency to compare women he dates to me. I'm sure these poor women all think he was enormeously in love with me and I got a level of treatment from him they aren't getting. The kicker? He didn't seem to like me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 06:07 PM |
| 194 | I wonder why he wants to date someone 10 years younger than him…A friend of mine once experienced something similar in her early twenties. The kicker? Her boyfriend was a year younger (!) than her. She didn't look particularly young either, and wasn't extremely short or anything else out of the ordinary for a woman in her early twenties. She broke up with him, and to this day, the only theory we have for this bizarre incident is that he really was imagining an entire overlay over her when they were having sex. To me, that's almost more bizarre than dating a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 11:29 AM |
| 7 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.Sure! Homicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant women in the US- with a downright impressive lead on any natural pregnancy-related cause of death. These homicides are almost uniformly commited by women's partners. In other countries, it depends a bit. Few European places have it as bad as the US, but it's still in the top three depending on ethnicity (migrant women are victims more often) and the precise nation we're talking about. In other places, it again depends on various factors, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 08:26 AM |
| 107 | The slow normalization of pedophiliaI don't want to derail this either- mods, feel free to delete- but I'd like to offer a lawyer's criminology-based perspective on why the death penality is usually only given for murder in jurisdictions that use it: Basically, if someone r.apes a child or woman and knows that that will result in the death penality for him if he is found out, he suddenly has a huge additional motive to k.ill the victim. Dead children/women do not talk. They do not tell their parents of what Uncle So-and-So or Teac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 05:39 PM |
| 64 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.Firing or quitting also does not lead to the total freedom it represents in the rest of the job market! Quitting any other job means never having to see those people again, never having to factor them into your life again, never having to deal with any part of them again. Quitting that job means continued contact with, dealing with, and managing of your former colleague for reasons of childcare and property division! Quitting is also never just quitting your job, it means uprooting the entirety … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 05:22 PM |
| 222 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.Seriously- I come from a family of divorce attorneys. I have never seen any other legal job wreck people to the extent that stay-at-home-motherhood has the potential to wreck people. There is no comparison on the legal job market. The shittiest retail job, the meanest boss, the lowest pay, the most horrible work environment, it all has nothing on the potential catastophic impact of stay-at-home motherhood gone wrong. Out-of-home work gone wrong is a fucking walk in the park compared to stay-at-h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 12:45 PM |
| 179 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.That, too! You're also not just obligated to perform your labour, you must do it whilst maintaining a demeanor that he considers 'pleasant'. It's not enough to just do task X, you also have to be nice to your one and only colleague during it, navigate a highly complex social relationship with him, and have sex with him. Even if you do your 'job' perfectly, you might get fired on account of not fulfilling these additional duties to his satisfaction. You also have no maternity leave whatsoever- in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 12:17 PM |
| 550 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.That's it: It's still labour, whether you're working out of the house or not. It's still work. Just now, your only colleague is also someone who lives with you 24/7, who is beholden to none of the usual social rules and boundaries of a workplace, who has totally free reign over your pay, who you do not have any fixed contract with, who pays you no insurance or retirement fees, who, in fact, often does not pay you any fixed amount at all, who can render your 'contract' void at any moment he so ch… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 11:54 AM |
| 37 | It's Time to Let Go of Your Toxic Female FriendshipsI think that depends on your relationship to that family member/friend. I have a long-term friend who I love very much who fell into an abusive relationship. Yes, it makes her act horribly at times. Yes, it is draining as fuck to build her up time and time again only for her horrible excuse for a boyfriend to get his claws right back into her. Yes, there's lots of frustration involved. But I love her and I've known her since we were young children. Statistically, the best way to help an abused w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 11:20 AM |
| 2 | Men are crying out that no one cares about their mental healthAgreed- my friends and I also have, in some ways, grown closer doing covid! I'm glad you had the same experience! The current situation has really reinforced how important socio-emotional discipline, as opposed to mere social skills, is in men. I always had a tendency to date somewhat nerdy guys- I'm a PhD student, and lots of my past partners were that type as well. None of my past partners were anything resembling the stereotype of the extremely introverded nerd with autism, but lots of them w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 11:13 AM |
| 55 | One thing these scrotes gonna do is drop their masks. Their real intentions show when they feel they have trapped their wives. Girl run!That's what stuck me, too. Yes, gendering certain household tasks is kind of silly, unless it's something like heavy yardwork, but still: All men I've encountered who felt comfortable letting their girlfriend take over typical 'male' household tasks were...weird. The one exception is one guy I know whose girlfriend does remodelling work because she genuinely loves it. But most men who pass over the small 'male' tasks to their female partners just kind of ick me out, and this lightswitch-thing fa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 11:45 PM |
| 437 | Men who give unsolicited feedback during dating?Negging! You're being negged! There's this misconception that 'negging' is just straight-up insults. That's a misunderstanding that has arisen because so many men are to terrible at using this 'technique' that our cultural understanding of it has shifted. Originally, 'negging' referred to compliments that were designed to get you off-kilter. Things like "I isually prefer redheards, but you look amazing as a blonde" or 'You cook so well. I'd pick you over a Victoria's Secret model just for your c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 10:56 PM |
| 60 | Men literally have no empathy for women: A case study on prostitution and pornIt's called the 'lift effect' (or 'elevator effect', if you're from the US): The phenomenon that in a female-majority profession, the one lone man who shows up will be fawned over by oversight boards/other authorities who are majority male, because they'll finally see someone 'on the ground' who they can identify with. And thus, the man rises through the ranks, surpassing women who are better qualified. The effect is most easily seen in schools. School oversight boards are majority male. Teacher… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 01:30 PM |
| 53 | Men literally have no empathy for women: A case study on prostitution and pornYes. Being a stay-at-home mother, especially whilst you're pregnant, means that your one and only co-worker, who lives with you 24/7, is also either your most likely or amongst the three most likely causes of your death, depending on your ethnicity and what country you live in. Talk about risky jobs. I'm not aware of any male-coded profession that carries that kind of risk. Oil riggers still do not have 'workplace accidents' right on top of their lists of their most likely causes of death- it's … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 01:26 PM |
| 41 | RIP Lauren. 💔 Shame on the Bridgeport PD for not taking this seriously. PLEASE be safe with dates you met through OLD, ladies.That's it: If there was a large enough quota of actual decent, dateable men on there, it might still be somehow worth the gamble. The way things actually are, though, I've been on an app precisely once, for three weeks, and found it so subpar that it just wasn't worth the additional risk at all. If I hear a horror story from some friend every other week, but I only see one in 200 men on that app that I consider somewhat promising, the risk-reward ratio is just too damn unbalanced. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 01:19 PM |
| 167 | Men literally have no empathy for women: A case study on prostitution and pornEspecially because a lot of 'men's dangerous jobs' are rather well-paid when compared to 'women's dangerous jobs'. Just look at nurses and their myriad of health issues, starting with their blown-out backs from lifting/turning patients and ending with their covid infections. And let's compare a nurse's pay to what an oil rigger makes. Yes, more men die in workplace accidents, because a lot of 'men's dangerous jobs' hold an inherent potential to be more directly deadly, whereas 'women's dangerous… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 12:53 PM |
| – | He forgets about her bday and ignores her, but he (finally) surprises her! Is this a new rock bottom?Generic birthday gifts are a huge red flag, in my opinion. I have never met a woman who didn't have some personal hobby/interest/liking/characteristic that one could easily shop for. If a man who has been dating someone for years cannot figure out one thing his partner likes, that means he does not listen to her, does not like her, and should be dumped. And beware of the half-step up: The 'generic for you' birthday gift! I have a huge love for certain types of fancy coffee. Since coffee is one o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 11:23 AM |
| 28 | Men are crying out that no one cares about their mental healthYes, and they sought it from women, exclusively. I, too, have been bombarded by all sorts of men reaching out to me during covid, and a few of them genuinely seemed to be primarily lonely. Oh, I'm sure it was about trying to get into my pants, too, but there was an element of human isolation to it that I hadn't encountered before lockdown. All of these men were guys who I knew had a male friend group, but they'd be claiming not to have seen a soul in weeks. All whilst I knew their friends were d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/22 09:44 PM |
| 59 | Men are crying out that no one cares about their mental healthI had a really insightful conversation with the- seemingly very nice- boyfriend of a friend of mine about this recently. The three of us were hanging out together and discussing how we maintain friendships under covid conditions, and he shared his frustrations with how many, many men in his life just kind of...broke away. A core of good friends remained and he still has plenty of good, nice, male friends, but there were entire layers of his social circle that broke away the moment 'hanging out' … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/22 04:53 PM |
| 17 | Pays 40K for his gambling addiction or his incompetence (dunno which is worse)If people want to invest in meme stocks, I always recommend to set aside a given sum that you can afford to lose for risky/obscure/meme stocks, and then to only use that money and part of what it grows for your unorthodox investments. That way, you can keep the 'weird investments money' totally separate from your other investments, and certainly from your day-to-day money. Never replenish that 'weird investments'-money with your day-to-day money. Keep it self-contained, and only put into that po… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 07:57 PM |
| 27 | Pays 40K for his gambling addiction or his incompetence (dunno which is worse)These Gamestop Trader Bros really are a scourge. My brother and I are both somewhere in the field of finance-law-econ , with me leaning 'law' and him leaning 'finance'. We both regularly run into young men making potentially life-ruiningly large investments into meme stocks, and only meme stocks. These men consider themselves financial experts! Young men whose entire portfolio is obscure cryptos. Ten or fifteen types of them, one stranger than the other. And it's not like they just invest a bit … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 07:29 PM |
| 29 | Pays 40K for his gambling addiction or his incompetence (dunno which is worse)Exactly! Safe index funds are the smartest choice for just about anyone in most financial situations. Only that's not 'exciting' enough for a certain type of man who invests not for long-term financial planning, but to feel an adrenaline rush, aka a high. I get it, really- I have a bit of money set aside that I make a few more specialised investments with, too. But that money is self-contained. I put in a bit a few years ago, and I'm using that money and part of what it grew, and only that. It's… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 06:09 PM |
| 139 | Pays 40K for his gambling addiction or his incompetence (dunno which is worse)YES. Trading has this almost mythical reputation amongst certain types of men, and it's important for women to know that that is not the financial reality! Yes, stocks can be a good, safe investment. Yes, they can and should be part of your retirement plans. Yes, any financially secure adult should have a portfolio. But no, trading is not a career path for most people. There are a few people who get lucky- just like anywhere else in life- and now you've got a handful of gamestop or bitcoin millo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 03:15 PM |
| 54 | Do not go back where you did not belong — your shitty, abusive ex will never change for the better.I'm a lawyer and know plenty of divorce attorneys. From what I know of their experiences, true 'perfect second families'-stories are very, very rare. There is the very occasional man who really does manage much better than first time 'round. Those are usually situations where one single outside circumstance was the issue in the first marriage, and that circumstance then being resolved by the time the 'second family' came around. A classic situation would be his horrorshow of a mother who he neve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 02:56 PM |
| 7 | Warning ⚠️ Some red-pill guys have started adopting FDS lingoIt's really a fascinating phenomenon, isn't it? Thank you for making me remember that article! I never knew much about the manosphere beyond 'incels exist and there's this thing called the red pill', but I always considered it a grassroots movement stemming from LVM anger at women's newfound economic independence and associated ability to say 'no' to subpar men. I never knew just how much of it is basically just a grift! These guys are making real money with it, too. Offering manosphere Alpha Ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 11:19 AM |
| 119 | Being single protects men from drama and politics, ladies. Leave them alone.There are a lot of men who have never learnt to think of money on an adult scale. Most working adults who have decently-paid jobs think of money on a sort of sliding scale: There is no sum that is 'a lot' or 'little' in and of itself, it merely depends on what you're spending a given sum on. That's why you have financially secure adults dropping 8k on having their kitchen remodelled without so much as a flinch, but considering it 'too expensive' to pay 80 dollars a week for takeout. Conversely, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:38 PM |
| 11 | Pretend you can't cookYou'd be surprised. A friend of mine dated a fellow med student for a while last year. The guy was very put-together, well-dressed, his hair was always done impeccably. After a few months of dating, she realised he only brushed his teeth in the morning. His reasoning? "Well, in the morning, I have to brush them, because I meet lots of people during the day. But why do it at night?' It's surprisingly common amongst young men. Don't know about an older crowd, but all women in their 20s at least ha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 05:09 PM |
| 12 | Pretend you can't cookVegetarianism in general is such a great vetting tool. Despite vegetarianism being utterly harmless, there is a certain type of man who makes a ruckus about it like no tomorrow. It reeks of being unable to accept a woman's bodily autonomy. There is a certain type of man that just cannot stand the thought of a woman having control over what goes into her body independent of his thoughts about that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 05:07 PM |
| 98 | Warning ⚠️ Some red-pill guys have started adopting FDS lingoI think there is one difference between the cultural phenomenon of 'Nice Guys' and the modern manosphere: 'Nice Guys' were/are deeply misguided boys and young men who just kind of existed without being connected to any strucutre. The modern manosphere is literally a scam. I read a very interesting article about its inner workings once: Basically, the reason it exists in the form it does today is because these 'How to be an Alpha Male'-courses and books are surprisingly profitable. I never imagin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:56 AM |
| 120 | When they tell you to settle for the guy’s attractiveness and the moment he levels up, he dumps you.That's precisely the case. I've never really been bodyshamed in a relationship because I've always immediately ceased seeing any man who ever did it to me in the dating stages, but I've found that this behaviour is always triggered by men feeling inferior. Like, certain men I had gone on 1-4 dates with would make remarks after seeing me in my fully dressed-up going-out glam state for the first time. Or after another man tried to flirt with me in front of them. Memorably, one man I had been on tw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:49 AM |
| 202 | When they tell you to settle for the guy’s attractiveness and the moment he levels up, he dumps you.It's also important to remember that bodyshaming has nothing whatsoever to do with what you look like. It's all about control, control, control. Often, beautiful women are bodyshamed more, because LVM feel the need to knock them down a peg. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:27 AM |
| 34 | Porn ruins menI swear, that's basically like a murderer saying 'my pickaxe has an ergonomic grip!' Like, thank you for making the item you plan to utilise to endanger and possible end the lives of innocents more comfortable for that purpose! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 08:20 AM |
| 128 | Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him powerYeah. Every time a genuinely nice guy appeared in my social circle, I or one of my female friends started dating them shortly thereafter, often long-term. If you reliably and regularly meet women, but never seem to find yourself dating one of them, you either genuinely suck at making your interest known or you're not a desirable partner, likely for reasons of character. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 05:57 PM |
| 451 | Porn ruins menIt's also a great example for the differences between male complaints about a marriage and female ones. This woman is unhappy because she is overworked, effectively a single mother, and overburdened with a newborn and work to the point that she had to move in her mother to help her. His chief complaint? Not getting blowjobs in a driving car! A driving car! Like, yeah, she doesn't want to do that, that's dangerous?! That's how you cause a crash and kill people! I can't believe he, an adult, full-… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 05:28 PM |
| 16 | How to approach multi-dating?I multi-date and like it, but I think it has to be handled with care. First, I think that in order to date in general, but especially to multi-date, you need to be in a healthy headspace and have a good handle on yourself on your boundaries. If dating is a pitfall, then multidating is as many pitfalls as you have men in your lives. Regarding your phsyical touch-issue: I find that multi-dating lessens attachment to any single one man, but if you try it and seriously find yourself struggling with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 12:40 PM |
| 72 | Are they getting off on knowing that we know they are larping at this point? All this BS and the scrotes still won’t quit…Sis, I just wanted to pop in real quick and warn you: If your reddit name is also your regularly used pseudonym, please use a different account to post on FDS or at the very least delete that reference to your pseudonym in your post! We have some crazy stalkers here- be safe, sis! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 09:19 AM |
| 116 | What are warning signs that the man may become physically abusive?Negging. It's often the first step towards emotional abuse, which in turn is often the first step towards physical abuse. Abuse is 'caused' by a man feeling an infantile dependence on his partner. He's ashamed of this dependence and seeks to re-establish control by devaluing and controlling his partner, because he perceives her to have control over him via his dependence on her. Negging is a very logical first step: it simultaneously devalues and controls. Later, that control will no longer suff… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 06:23 AM |
| 10 | Ladies, have you noticed any trends of men who chose arranged marriages vs. leveling themselves up to be independent of the patriarchal culture?I sort of understand that, but as someone in one of those careers, it still gives me pause. I totally concur that studying one of these subjects is very, very time-consuming. But from my experience in one of these fields- of course, I can't speak for all of them- it's also an intensely social experience. Literally from my very first day of undergrad, I was embedded in a social ecosystem of study groups, scholarship academies, competitions, research projects, what have you. The intense nature of … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:51 PM |
| 181 | Pickmes really need to shape up and get a clue 🤢Yeah- it's quite easy to see that the moment you need porn to masturbate or cum during sex, you have a problem. There was a time before porn, and human sexuality is intended to function without it. If you rely on porn to orgasm, that means you have some sort of dependency, aka addiction, aka pornsickness. Honestly, I'd be really fucking scared if I depended on any outside implement or extreme practice to cum. It would really give me pause, because I'd recognise it as an obvious disturbance in my… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:35 PM |
| 38 | Where to go about communication as a HVW with someone you won't see in person for a while?So, he drunk-texted you weird shit, you describe the conversations at not being 'of value', and you're moving to NYC....Tell me again why you want to keep in touch with this guy? Maintaining communication with someone you won't see long-term becomes an issue in established friendships and very established relationships. And with family, of course. With people like this guy, any sort of maintaining communication would just distract you from having a fabulous time in NYC, enjoying the local scene … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:31 PM |
| 21 | Negs her, calls her response a meltdown, asks reddit if he is wrong or if she is overreacting.Ewwwwww. Glad that's an ex. You'd think these guys are being forced to be heterosexual against their will. That would literally have been such an easy message to answer: 'Looks delish, enjoy!' Done. For fuck's sakes, if he had wanted to be a corny-in-an-ironic-but-actually-kinda-sincere way, he could have gone for 'looks sweet, but you're sweeter' and slapped on a funny gif. It's not that fucking hard. How can you be self-sabotaging to the point of being unable to access basic social scripts?! W… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:24 PM |
| 5 | Negs her, calls her response a meltdown, asks reddit if he is wrong or if she is overreacting.Testerical! Sis! I adore it! And you're right. I sometimes think that men act like they're being forced to be heterosexual against their will- they're that self-sabotaging! This was an easy, easy interaction to turn into a win. This wasn't some sort of complex, layered social scenario where he had to peel back veils upon veils of feminine mystique to figure out the one correct answer to a triple-trick question. He literally just had to activate his 'common decency 101: Birthday Wishes' social sc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:18 PM |
| 3 | Scrote is mad that his date has standardsYeah you're right- dating in uni is kind of hit or miss- what really helps me is that I'm no longer really part of that huge crowd of undergrads. I'm working on my PhD and participate in a few other academic projects on the side, all of which bring me in touch with a somewhat different crowd- everyone is a bit more mature, and kind of has been 'filtered' by having applied to certain institutions/positions. I agree that dating as an undergrad is kind of rough- men in their early twenties are more… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 03:12 PM |
| 82 | ‘Men rarely get compliments, women do’, ‘Men have no emotional support unlike women’ 🤡🤡Exactly! It would instantly raise their value! A good friend of mine has been dating a lovely guy for a few years now. Wonderful man, from what I can see. A while ago, the three of us were playing tennis, and the subject of maintaining friendships during covid came up. You know what he said? He said that he had been shocked at how many of his male friends just kind of dropped away the moment 'scheduling a hangout' started to become an effort. So many men in his life suddenly disappeared when mee… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 11:26 AM |
| 72 | Scrote is mad that his date has standardsYour dad is a wise man! I mean, seriously, it's just the reality of it. I've been approached/asked out by a good dozen men in the past two or three months alone, all of which were smart university students or just done with university, well-off, good degrees in good subjects, attractive, well-kempt. I've gone on a few dates, mostly with young, attractive PhD candidates (I'm one as well, and I usually try to avoid dating down in terms of education) in various sciences, all of which were scheduled… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 11:00 AM |
| 151 | Scrote is mad that his date has standardsYeah, that is so naive. I'm 23. My absolute max age for men is 27. My requirements for men increase proportionally to their age. If I date someone in his mid-to-late twenties, I obviously hold him to a higher standard than another 23-year-old in terms of financial stability, house ownership, etc. Considering I want one child and I want to have it when I'm between 27-30 because those three years work very well within my life plan, I'd obviously also go down to the lower end of those three years t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 10:43 AM |
| 211 | ‘Men rarely get compliments, women do’, ‘Men have no emotional support unlike women’ 🤡🤡I very much dislike this framing, too! Women do receive more support and more 'compliments' (and the fact that men somehow interweave genuine emotional support and something comparatively shallow as 'nice haircut, girl! Suits you!' is rather telling, isn't it?) because they nurture friendships. I've met plenty of men with genuine, supportive friendships with other men and they do not have this issue. Yes, male friendships have different overtones, but well-nurtured friendships between well-adjus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/01/22 10:36 AM |
| 27 | Hmmm, Am I Crazy or Are Women Wising Up?Reproductive rights are a huge part of it, I think. I live in a lovely tiny European country that doesn't seem to be planning an assault on women's rights to their own bodies. Still, even here, I keep running into the same conversation about the state of affairs in America with my female friends: "No one expected Trumpism, the rise of the alt-right, the rise of facism in America. Who is to say we aren't similarly unaware of a rising movement in our country than we were of this rising movement in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 12:04 PM |
| 15 | Hmmm, Am I Crazy or Are Women Wising Up?It's really baffling to think about, isn't it? But once you analyse this sub with the tools of marketing and stuff, it makes sense!Like, sure, there are seven billion people in the world and compared to that, 250.000 is a seemingly tiny number. But it's obvious from looking at this sub that the target group isn't the entirety of the world population. You can cross 3.5 billion of the list because they are men. You can cross all women off the list who do not date, no matter their reasons. Judging … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 10:55 AM |
| 74 | Hmmm, Am I Crazy or Are Women Wising Up?There's two things at play here, I think: First, the age of the average FDS user. I don't know whether this sub ever conducted a survey, but from what I gather, the majority of us here are women in their early-to-mid twenties or older. There are rather few teens. Depending on your personal life history and often the timing of your first big breakup, a lot of women shed their naive approach to men right around that early-to-mid-twenties timeframe. Teens often blindly parrot very libfem ideas, but… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 12:02 AM |
| 8 | I Regret my Plastic Surgery: The Impact of the Patriarchy & LVM FathersI believe in you. Accountability isn't about shaming yourself for your past, it's about honouring yourself in your future. You're obviously good at that- you've already decided to honour your body in the future. This is something you'll be able to do. It's time to just drop the knife, sis. It no longer serves you. May I suggest that you pick some form of affirmation/mantra for the next time you feel that shame? Doesn't have to be fancy. I find that really helps with intrusive thoughts and feelin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 08:45 AM |
| 84 | Scrote insults his girlfriend to his friends, then takes joy in telling her about itUgh, 'the same friends from high school'- so true! I had to end a date just last week because I caught a lot of strange high school nostalgia from an adult man in his mid-twenties. Men still hanging out with their high school friends really only goes two ways: It's either a really good friend group of mutual support and growth that stuck together precisely because they kept developing after finishing school, or it's a shitshow of people who stuck together because they didn't develop one single b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 07:20 PM |
| 4 | Part 2. I blocked him, but he used someone else's phone to have the last word. Like I was going to let him 😘Apart from the sheer absurdity of age-based fearmongering for women (as if men ever stop wanting us...)- do they not realise that it would be very, very bad for them if women did really 'hit' some mythical 'wall' in their twenties? Like, there are only so many women under twenty-five. The numer of women under twenty-five is way smaller than the number of all men. If women really were only fuckable to a certain type of man as long as they are under twenty-five, those men should work real fucking … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 02:46 PM |
| 578 | I Regret my Plastic Surgery: The Impact of the Patriarchy & LVM FathersSis, I'm sorry you feel this way. Hugs. One perspective that might help you: In the end, both what drove you to surgery and what is impacting you now comes down to self-acceptance. You were previously unable to accept your body in its natural state. Now, you're having trouble accepting your past and letting it go. Don't hurt yourself like this, sis. This is the same blade, directed against a different part of yourself. You've already managed to let go of the need to hurt your body, so I know you… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 11:16 AM |
| 130 | This is what we mean when we say don't go 50/50. You'll be doing 100% of the childrearing while he's at work and he will expect you to give up your savings as well.Or, Good Lord, Eastern Europe. I'm European, and the only men who fetishise 'Eastern European submissive femininity' are Americans. All people who actually live close enough to Eastern Europe to have met one single Eastern European woman know that yeah, those ladies might wear heels more often than your standard Swedish girl, but try suggesting 50:50 or 'working mother'-arrangements to any of them and watch them laugh. Watch them laugh all the way out of the restaurant, into the street, watch th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 11:38 AM |
| 106 | This is what we mean when we say don't go 50/50. You'll be doing 100% of the childrearing while he's at work and he will expect you to give up your savings as well.Men love to say 'men and women will never be biologically equal!' to use it as a justification for excluding women from certain jobs and social roles (too emotional to be a CEO! Too physically weak to be law enforcement!) but they hate, hate, hate to be reminded that it goes both ways: There are things most women can do that no man could ever do, no matter how much time and effort and training they invest. And procreation is one of those things. So if 'bIoLoGiCaL dIFFeRenCEs' are that important … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 11:33 AM |
| 7 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Same! High school was only half a decade ago for me, but it still feels far, far away. I did have a good time in high school and I have some good memories, but everytime someone tells me 'oooh, school was the most fun part of my life' or 'those teenage years are the best years of your life' I go '?!?!?!'. I sort of get it if someone started working right out of high school and basically got stuck in a rut of menial labour upon their eighteenth birthday, but if someone who has gone to higher educ… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 11:24 AM |
| 103 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Good Lord, so I can get ready for LVM college nostalgia after LVM high school nostalgia? Good to know! And 'college athete', oh dear. That's basically roasting yourself. Unless that label is presented as part of an ongoing fitness-focused lifestyle (along the lines of 'I always loved sports- I was on the football team in high school, was a college athlete after that, and now play in an adults' team twice a week') you're basically saying 'I used to be fit! Not anymore, though!'. How embarrassing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 10:07 PM |
| 134 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Yes, that's equally bizarre to me! The people from high school I'm still friends with, I'm still friends with precisely BECAUSE they kept developing after high school. If I encountered a person my age with the exact personality these people had in high school, I would not be impressed. Yet these LVM miss the sixteen-year-old versions of the boys and girls they used to hang out with. That's bizarre to me. No sixteen-year-old's personality impresses me these days. There are a lot of former sixteen… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 10:04 PM |
| 7 | How to not get anxious before dates?I think to figure out what might help you, you need to figure out what you're anxious about. Think about it. What exactly is making you anxious? Do you fear for your safety? If so, is it because the man you're going out with is displaying red flags? Do you feel embarrassment at the notion of being seen with your date in public? If so, are you actually attracted to him? Do you feel anxious about having to 'entertain'? If so, have you fully realised yet that it's his job to prove his worth to you? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 08:30 PM |
| 50 | The average LVM posing as HVI have a friend whose ex-boyfriend was surprised when she dumped him because after three months of having sex together and plenty of instructions, he still had not made her cum one single time. Like, he was baffled that that might lead to a break-up. He just seriously never considered it a big problem. Despite her continuously giving him instructions in bed, he never thought it was important to her and felt no real need to change the situation because he didn't see it as something that might eve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 08:25 PM |
| 20 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Oh yeah, that's just bizarre. There's no other word for it. I wouldn't even know how to react if some guy told me he enjoys that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 08:15 PM |
| 48 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?Agreed on that. I love it when men have a healthy love for sport and play a sport themselves, but extreme fans are very off-putting. The rage they sometimes display when 'their' team looses is frightening, and the amount of time they'll sink into watching 'their' team play is concerning. It's doubly strange if they don't play sports themselves. Like, I can occasionally watch pro tennis because I play tennis and it's interesting to see how people who're much better than me do it. But a dude who d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 08:11 PM |
| 676 | Strangest icks and dealbreaker?I really, really dislike it when a man shares a lot of anecdotes about his high school days on a first date. I don't mind one funny story about Mr Herbert the math teacher from ninth grade, but there's something seriously off-putting about a twenty-six-year-old who's been out of high school for almost a decade still making his high school experiences the focal point of any conversation he leads. It makes me think that not much can have happened in the intervening years! Surprisingly, I've encoun… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 07:56 PM |
| 42 | She Needed FDS a Long Time AgoIt's because, as paradoxical as it sounds, kids aren't as much of a commitment as marriage is for LVM. Think about it. LVM do not contribute to childcare and household chores. A child, for them, is a mildly annoying pet the mother takes care of. But as payback for the annoyance the child presents, they get something! A lEgAcY. A child, to a LVM, is almost no commitment- he's willing to abandon it and in his childish, incorrect beliefs about family law, thinks he won't ever have to pay up- but it… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 12:27 PM |
| 11 | Please, for your own sake: Find out if he was a loser before.You know it's true! Special Boyson BoyMcSonson, and his little brother, Muh-Legacy Malechild HeirMcMyboy! Both utterly bland boys in graphic tees, but assigned some nebulous intelligence that never seems to manifest itself in excellent grades, a truly impressive career, or anything else one might associate with intelligence. Must be in there somewhere, though! They both have Y chromosomes, it can't be that they're just...not that special! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/22 07:05 PM |
| 12 | Please, for your own sake: Find out if he was a loser before.Exactly! It's like our society- especially teachers!- cannot stomach the notion of a boy just being...bland. Not special. Not having a great redeeming quality that explains, excuses, and glorifies all of their failures. Rather than encouraging a boy to develop kindness, social skills, and a minimum of muscle tone, some nebulous intelligence that never seems to manifest in any tangible way is assigned to him. Mediocre grades- because he's bored at school! Rejection from and anger at the job marke… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/22 02:06 PM |
| 164 | Please, for your own sake: Find out if he was a loser before.Agreed. I think there's a HUGE difference between men who actually have certain positive qualities, and men who we assign these positive qualities because they lack certain other traits society typicallly values in men. Like, there's a huge difference between a man who actually is intelligent and a man who was never sporty or social or 'cool' growing up, so his parents and teachers, unable to stomach the idea of a straight white boy not being 'good' and 'special' in some way, arbitrarily decided… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 09:56 PM |
| 19 | What do you think of your partner having long weekends without you?I love solo travelling, or travelling with girlfriends, and do it frequently! It wouldn't be an issue for me if my partner did the same alone or with his male friends, and it hasn't been an issue in past relationships. Obviously, that is assuming that the trips my partner goes on aren't trips along the lines of 'my ex-girlfriend and I want to have a getaway in a secluded cabin' or 'my five almost-alcoholic LV friends and I plan to get shitfaced for a week straight and see the strippers in Vegas'… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 06:54 PM |
| 187 | girl whatYou know the statistics on divorce? 80% of them are initiated by women in the general population. Amongst couples where both partners are college grads, that number goes up to over 90%. Hearing that is one thing, but seeing it play out in practice is quite another. It's striking, really. These women are so fucking done with their exes by the time they show up in my mother's office. The male clients she has are, with almost no exception, whining about the entire process. Every time I hear a man s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 01:49 PM |
| 162 | When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each dayThat was my first thought, too. 100% there's an age gap here, and 90% he either taught her directly or met her through his job whilst she was still in university. I'm willing to BET on it. I have close relationships to some professors of mine and continued to work with/for/besides them after finishing my courses with some. NEVER IN MY LIFE have I had some weird, mysterious 'life coaching' session with one of them during the evening whilst their wife was sitting in the next room. When career advi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 01:41 PM |
| 42 | REMINDER: Playing devil's advocate is a social fauxpas, and men who do it are LVAgreed, depending on the social situation, that is an even better option! I prefer the 'smile, nod, leave'-approach in situations where most people are strangers to me, because I don't want to impose the 'allyship' of 'the two of us vs the devil's advocate' on someone I just met. But I agree, the moment you're with friends or people you otherwise know, your option is even better! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 11:30 AM |
| 462 | girl whatThat was the part that killed me, too XD My mum is a divorce lawyer, and 'just stalling' is a surprisingly common tactic men employ time and time again. Varations include : - manipulating the ex's car so she can't make it to appoinments with her lawyer or in court - sudden onset health crises to compel her to 'rethink' her decision (one dude, memorably, cried to his ex about his sudden mental health crisis caused by the death of her cat three years ago) - suddenly extremely full social calendar … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 10:43 AM |
| 30 | The Female Dating Strategy Podcast: EP. 45 - Lundy Bancroft Takes The Queens Inside The Minds of Angry & Controlling Men (Part 1)The fact that Lundy is on this podcast just made me realise two things: This entire movement is legit. This isn't just a bunch of women sharing memes on some obscure website, this is an actual social movement. Obviously, not a social movement of the size of, idk, climate activism, but it's definitely something real, with an impact on the real world, the potential to influence even individuals who aren't direct members, and the ability to shape the wider culture it reacts to and is part of. I don… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 10:54 PM |
| 7 | Foolproof vetting strategy : tell him "a man did something to you"Yes, it's precisely that! It does sometimes remind me of my little cousins petulantely saying 'no!' to everything because they are just discovering their independence and separate personhood. 'Do you want the dinosaur toy?' 'NO!' 'Bath time now?' 'NO no NO!' 'Ugh, Brett Kavanaugh is so...disgusting.' 'NO NO NO!' Like, honey. Okay. We get it. LVM think that's the way adults converse. They think their conversations are 'going smoothly' because they're talking a lot and interpret that as them being… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 10:35 PM |
| 16 | Foolproof vetting strategy : tell him "a man did something to you"I consider playing the devil's advocate a social fauxpas akin to not knowing how to use cutlery properly. Every time some childish dude does it, I immediately get this feeling of 'ugh'. Not even anger, just this sort of 'alright, kiddo, please learn how to conduct yourself in public before coming out to play again'. I think it's often a way for boys who haven't mastered the art of adult conversation to fill silence? It's not easy to have a well-mannered, thoughtful, elegant conversation. Require… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 08:00 PM |
| 44 | Insecure Men Will Destroy RelationshipsThe normalisation of talking to ex-partners is bizarre to me. Talking to people in my mother's generation, it becomes clear that the cultural pressure to 'be mature' and 'be friends with exes' is a very recent development. I honestly think this is a symptom of the social impoverishment of many people in our generation. Digitalisation, uprooted lifestyles, fractured communities, the end of 'the village', all of that accelerated by covid- I think it's fair to say that many people today have fewer … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 07:45 PM |
| 25 | I’ve been in this woman’s position before finding FDS, and it’s exactly why I will not tolerate porn in relationships now.This dude is twenty-three years.old. He graduated school FIVE YEARS AGO. How badly can you fuck up to have erectile issues at that age?! I'm in my early-to-mid-twenties, and I usually date men 24-27. Those fuckers have dicks made of steel if everything is going right. You can basically poke them in the elbow to make them come. Men in their twenties catch sight of a SLIVER of boob and go gaga. I cannot FATHOM meeting someone on the younger end of my dating range and encountering issues that I ver… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 01:06 AM |
| 16 | “Ask her out, but you dont need to pay”What on earth IS an auto-swiper? At first, I thought it was some sort of app that just swipes right on everyone blindly, but he's saying there is some 'selective swiping' involved- like, is this thing a sort of algorithm that processes profiles? Does it oy swipe right on profiles with more than three pics, for example? Does anyone have insight? This notion is wonderfullly bizarre to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/22 10:15 PM |
| 6 | Advice: He seems wonderful but isn’t as financially secure as meSister, allow me to be straight with you? This is your 'shit or get off the pot' moment. You're 33. Presumably, you don't want to have children with someone you met last week. If you're going to have them naturally (rather than through adoption or IVF, both of which can be really fucking hard on you) these coming 1-3 years are when you'll have to meet their father. Three years is already stretching it. And whilst it's possible to leave a boyfriend at home if he can't afford a lunch with friends,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/01/22 09:37 AM |
| 97 | Advice: He seems wonderful but isn’t as financially secure as meI've seen similar situations play out in my family. There are cases where it works, there are cases where it doesn't. The defining factor, in my experience, is how the woman feels about paying for children and their associated long-term expenses. The way I see it, if you weren't planning on having kids, you could marry that man no problem, provided you have a prenup. Seeing that you want children, though, you have to ask yourself what the long-term plan here is, and I am not talking about the fi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 02:59 PM |
| 36 | why YOU have a belly, but influencers DON'T (feel like women need to hear this more often. were expected to have certain kind of body when biologically our bodies are not made to be that way)'Babe, why do you have arms? My pp really suffers when looking at these unattractive projections stemming from your sexy torso...They're right next to the boobies, too....:((( :((( :(((' Jokes aside, I know precisely how these girls on instagram look irl. I work out a lot and have that 'insta-look' precisely at one moment: Just when I have woken up, before consuming even a sip of water. Because that's when everything is empty and flat. In real life (y'know, after having had some breakfast and wa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 12:39 PM |
| 147 | Have you noticed there are more snoring men than women?I think it's down to men often taking worse care of their health. The highest risk factor for snoring is being overweight, and at least in my environment and age group, way more men are overweight than women. I think statistics on weight in my country show that that holds true for all age groups until you get to the 60+ group, and even there, it heavily depends on socioeconomics. Upper middle class or up women are almost never overweight. Their husbands sure are, though. So depending on your env… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/01/22 11:48 AM |
| 74 | Looking the same after babiesExactly! I sometimes wonder whether we are having the wrong cultural conversation when it comes to pregnancy, so to speak. There's always this emphasis on mysterious 'body changes' that supposedly occur, but very few people have the guts to say out loud what these body changes actually are. So you end up with young women who think the term refers to stretch marks, softer/less self-supporting breast tissue, and a softer waistline. No. Those are the superficial changes. Yes, they occur. But no, fo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 06:06 PM |
| 167 | Looking the same after babiesNot only is that expectation complete and utter bullshit, what frustrates me even more than that is that many of the more gruesome effects of pregnancy and childbirth could be mitigated if only there was better gyno research and treatment availible. Like, yeah, loose skin, bla bla bla. That's the change the male gaze emphasises. But let's talk about thinks like pelvic floor muscle changes, peeing whilst sneezing, vaginal prolapse, botched sutures, pain whilst having sex and defecating, vaginal w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 05:09 PM |
| 15 | Ladies, how long did it take for the man's mask to slip, during dating?This is depressingly common. It's like they put on a great shop front and then drop it the moment they think they've got you trapped. Joke's on them, it's the 2020s, we all have exit options now. There's one thing I keep wondering about: Aren't they happier in their 'masked' state? Like, I've personally never been in a situation like this, but I keep hearing from friends that their partners seemingly became total killjoys and horrible people over night. Before that 'drop', their partners seemed … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 02:41 PM |
| 10 | Flip the scriptThat's what constantly amazes me about these low-effort LVM. I can plan an outing in three minutes. It's literally one text, one google search, and one phoe call for the reservations. Yet you'd think you're putting such a huuuuuge imposition on them with these LVM! Like, that dude in OPs story: If I had been him, even assuming I wanted to maintain the laziest behaviour possible, I would have realised what's up when OP texted me. Assuming I had interest in getting laid (because let's face it, tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 11:32 AM |
| 27 | Men Double TextingIn your case: Dump, dump, dump that guy. Not only is that manipulative, it also shows anger issues. Such a sisproportionate reaction to mild stimuli....Yay! Looking forward to him yelling and screaming because you left a cup out or some shit like that! Choo-choo! All aboard the train to Abuse-Town! I don't mind double-texting. In my social circle, we all double-text each other with things like memes and innocent chatter. If the other person hasn't replied to a meme from a few hours ago, but you … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 11:21 AM |
| 2 | Ariana grande’s character in don’t look up called Leonardo dicaprio an “old fuck”. Leo’s current gf is 4 years YOUNGER than Ariana! The irony is killing me!!!I was actually thinking of Brad Pitt when I wrote this, so let's be clichés together! 😂 I totally agree. I'm in my early-to-mid-twenties, and I obviously wouldn't date someone Brad Pitt's age and don't follow celebrities enough to know whether he's a creep or a decent human. But purely based on looks, I can look at Brad Pitt and think 'yeah, someone could get wet for that dude'. Leo? Nah. Not at all. If Brad Pitt would date someone my age, that would still be a huge power imbalance and exploitat… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 05:48 PM |
| 384 | Ladies, how long did it take for the man's mask to slip, during dating?I think there are a few points where a woman has to look out for changes in a man's behaviour, and they don't necessarily all depend on time. When becoming exclusive. That's the first possible milestone where a dumber man might think 'I've got her, now I can act how I want'. After the first time you had sex together. That's the point where a man might think 'alright, got what I want now'. After/On the first vacation together. That's usually the first time a woman is constantly 'at his mercy' wit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 12:40 PM |
| 38 | The absolute audacity of some of these men. Could you imagine telling your partner that you are taking a three month break from being a spouse and a parent?I just lurked there for five minutes, and dear Lord, the amount of women who say things like 'After the birth of our first kid three years ago, I realised my husband was a useless, disgusting slob...Anyways, I'm 30 weeks pregnant with our second!' astounds me. Like, I understand being tethered to a man for financial/kid reasons for a while until you figure out ways to leave. I get how that can happen. But if you already know he's duped you and is a horrible partner, why oh why would you have ano… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 12:18 PM |
| 46 | Ariana grande’s character in don’t look up called Leonardo dicaprio an “old fuck”. Leo’s current gf is 4 years YOUNGER than Ariana! The irony is killing me!!!Yes, even independent of his creepiness- seeing Leo age has really changed the way I look at men in the age group I date (mid-20s). Looking back at old pictures/films of his, he was obviously an attractive man back in his 20s, but the signs that he would not age well were always there, in my opinion. His attractiveness always depended on the favourable distribution of facial fat and taunt skin rather than on bone structure, if that makes sense? Like, there are certain male faces who will still b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 12:11 PM |
| 73 | How quickly widowers move on from their wives shows that they don't see women as people, just bangmaidsI don't want to discredit your great-aunt's love and life story, but have you ever considered that she might be gay? I'm not asking because I'm doubting that love like that exists, the story just really reminded me of my own great-aunt, who also had a fiance that died in WWII, and who also cited grief/still loving him as a reason for never marrying. I'm bisexual. The first time I brought my then-girlfriend to a family party, my great-aunt's eyes went big as saucers. We had this moment of eye con… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 11:36 PM |
| 38 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.Lol. If even such an absolute waste of space couldn't find greater fault with you than that even when obviously really trying to come up with something he believed would put you down a peg... I'm gonna say that it's safe to assume you are one looker of a woman. Congrats on levelling up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 07:37 PM |
| 74 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.Sister, in the end, whether you're conventionally attractive or not doesn't really matter for your personal self-worth, but let me tell you this: I have never met a woman who took care of herself in the usual societally appropriate ways and looked ugly. Yes, it's true that most people do not have a 'perfect' face, but it's virtually impossible to be bad-looking as a woman who takes care of herself. I also think that the quality of insult someone levels at you says something. If a man who was a s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 07:16 PM |
| 76 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.Exactly! There is no such thing as 'false advertising' (blegh) unless you're doing something VERY extreme with your look. I'm talking drag-levels of makeup, extreme corsetry, that kind of stuff. You CANNOT get into that territory on accident. I mean, have you ever been hugely surprised by a man's body shape when he took off his shirt? Nah, you haven't. Someone's shape and general fitness level show VERY easily in their face (yes to that!), their posture, their clothing, even shit like the 'flesh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 05:37 PM |
| 34 | Hot Take: Whenever I see stuff like this, I assume the guy has paedophilic tendencies or has watched too much pornAgreed. I've slept with a small handful of women, most of which were exclusively interested in women. The one woman I slept with who was fully shaved was also the one fellow bisexual. I myself trim because I like it neat. But every time I hear about women allegedly shaving 'for themselves, not for men', I remember the hairy cats of all women I have ever seen naked who weren't into men, and go 'sure, Jan. Sure you do it for yourself.' For the record, I believe some women do indeed genuinely prefe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 03:04 PM |
| 173 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.Yes! It occurs whenever LVM feel inferior to women. They believe we all rely on our looks to provide us with self-worth, because it is the only thing they use to assign us worth. So whenever a LV brother feels threatened by his sister performing better in life, or a professor by a student's intelligence, or a colleague by his colleague's work performance, or a fellow student by his classmate's work assignment, or a random dude by the fact that a woman at a party isn't interested in him... CUE BO… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 02:53 PM |
| 45 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.Thank you! And yes, 100% agreed- I imagine being tall to be quite freeing! I've also seen how taller friends of mine are taken more seriously both by men and in life in general, and ugh, I'd like to have that effect too, sometimes XD. And yes, there's so much more to the human body than beauty, which is such an arbitrary concept anyways. The fact that men weaponise women's historic need to rely on their beauty and the resulting importance women still assign to it is such disgusting behaviour to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 02:50 PM |
| 122 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.Thank you for your input! And YES, I agree that it happens more at the extremes of the attractiveness spectrum: Either with women who fit their local-sociocultural standard of beauty very well, because they trigger that inferiority complex the most, or with women who do not fit their local-sociocultural standards at all, because LVM see them as easy targets- and since for an abuser, there is nothing more attractive than the ability to continue being abusive, that's just great news to them. My mo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 02:19 PM |
| 88 | Bodyshaming and -negging: It has nothing to do with what you look like, but you NEED to leave at the first sign of it.100% agreed! Bodyshaming always escalates into other forms of abuse sooner or later, and is always tied to male insecurity. I'm also a conventionally attractive woman who fits beauty standards in her region and socio-economic class very well. I'm realistic enough to know that I do not need to worry about my looks. Every occurence of nagging in my life happened the moment men realised that ooops, they aren't the only ones to notice that I'm hot and there might be other men interested. And rather … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 01:58 PM |
| 342 | No one seems to be asking where he got this STD?? And she gets frequent UTIs because of him 🤢🤮Yes! Looking at a few stories in my social circle, few men ever actually showed the bravery to break up with my friends after clearly losing interest. Instead, they pulled away emotionally, treated them like crap, even cheated, rather than just sitting down and having an adult discussion about no longer wishing to be in a relationship. They literally were too emotionally stunted to break up and instead preferred to act like such dicks that eventually, my friends had to do the job for them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 01:27 PM |
| 43 | So.. if she’s so important to him why aren’t they married after 7years? No one in the comments brought that up. People in the comments are betting the brothers relationship won’t last as long but at least he knew he wanted to marry his bride within 2 years.Agreed! Why are they acting like 'two years' is the same as 'two months'? Granted, 'two years' is too short when you started dating when you're 17 or are 19 now or some other such nonsense, but two years is an entirely reasonable timeframe for two people who met as established adults. Like, after two years, you've been on vacation together a few times, you know the family, you have seen them stressed, sad, and hungry. You've shared at least one great success and you've likely encountered some so… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 09:45 PM |
| 15 | So.. if she’s so important to him why aren’t they married after 7years? No one in the comments brought that up. People in the comments are betting the brothers relationship won’t last as long but at least he knew he wanted to marry his bride within 2 years.Agreed. I'll likely have a fairly large wedding because I have a sizeable family that I love and an expansive circle of friends, but still, those are people who know me and who I care about deeply. There is an element of awkwardness to having a virtual stranger who you know won't be there in a year or two hearing all sorts of anecdotes about you and your relationship during things like speeches, toasts, and just conversations with other guests! I'd still invite her because doing otherwise would … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 09:42 PM |
| 64 | Men will worry about wether or not their wife is having sex with them, but never consider if they are someone she even WANTS to have sex with, or enjoys what he does in bed.I love non-penetrative sex, it's my only form of having sex outside of VERY established relationships (six months plus at the very least), and even I haven't "dry-humped" since I was a teenager. And even back then, I tried it with my then-partner and we both quickly came to the conclusion that it causes an unpleasant amount of friction that is....well. Dry. For both parties. Just...unpleasant. Like, oral exists and maybe if this man performed it, he wouldn't be having this situation? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 09:30 PM |
| 78 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasyAnd it's such a shame, because it's not like men's faces- as in, the structural components of their bones and facial muscles- are somehow inherently less attractive than women's. It is all down to lack of styling and care. Like, no shit Sherlock, if you have a ten dollar haircut, think that brushing your teeth once a day is perfectly sufficient, have the personal style of a bland Sim, and own fewer than five personal care products, you're not going to be hot. That's just the way grooming works. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 11:08 PM |
| 13 | More men than ever single? GOOD! Women are finally getting standars and the men are screeching and seethingYeah, agreed! Those subjects are the very few exceptions- but basically anything but compsci, some natural sciences, and engineering is girls, girls, girls as far d the eye can see. Women are outperforming men in the education system and it shows with university enrollment stats- especially with subjects like medicine that have tough requirements to get into, there just aren't a lot of men who have the high school grades to make it. Education is the greatest tool for female empowerment and every… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 10:44 PM |
| 39 | More men than ever single? GOOD! Women are finally getting standars and the men are screeching and seethingThe idea that women go to university to meet men has got to be the most gaga thing I've heard in a while. Every university student will be able to tell you that in most universities, women students outnumber male students by 3:2, sometimes more. This holds true for all subjects except for computer sciences, some branches of natural sciences (though decidedly NOT for medicine or just about any other science that makes real money), and certain branches of engineering. But most 'big' subjects- law,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 06:46 PM |
| 68 | Husband cares so little about pregnant wife who has an immune disorder & lies about wearing a mask & social distancing, forcing her to leave the home because he can’t be responsible. Poor woman.That's what stood out to me, too! She used that phrase three or four times in her post. I'm willing to bet that that's not her phrase, it's his. That's what he tells her whenever she adresses some stupid, heinous shit he's doing. And she has internalised it to the point of using it to describe her own valid, proportional, sensible behaviour. Like, ugh. I absolutely hate it when a woman says something and I can just hear her partner's or ex's words coming out of her mouth. It's always some bizarr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 06:12 PM |
| 28 | Typical emotional abuse- bodyshaming tactics & using feigned ignorance regarding his fiancée's health needsSame. It's one of the things I'll be eternally grateful for to myself- I have never put up with one single bit of bodyshaming and always left at the first sight of it, not matter whether it occured on the third date or in the sixth month of a relationship. I've noticed a pattern, without fail: If men start bodyshaming, it's usually shortly after a situation that somehow made them feel inferior to me or realise they were batting out of their league. I have dropped two men very early in the dating… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 05:52 PM |
| 18 | Typical emotional abuse- bodyshaming tactics & using feigned ignorance regarding his fiancée's health needsTo add on to this: Sometimes, it's not even the underweight body the man is fetishising, it's the mindset and mental health status that body represents. Everyone with two brain cells knows that your average anorexic in the throes of her disease is likely someone suffering from low self esteem, a distorted self-image ripe for manipulation, and an all-consuming obsession that will prevent the victim from noticing his abuse. Additioally, someone with that horrible of a mental health condition will … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 05:25 PM |
| 26 | Typical emotional abuse- bodyshaming tactics & using feigned ignorance regarding his fiancée's health needsI suspect much the same. Unless you totally break someone's spirit, there comes a point where they go 'Wait a minute. By now, I weigh 120 pounds. I can't be fat. Yet, my boyfriend calls me fat. This can't be about my weight, this must be about him enjoying calling me fat." And that's the point where he looses control and has to find himself a new victim, either because the woman leaves or because he, not being able to handle not being allowed to abuse her anymore, dumps her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 05:06 PM |
| 235 | More men than ever single? GOOD! Women are finally getting standars and the men are screeching and seethingI am continously surprised that men don't realise it's a them-problem, not a women-problem. Isn't the 'joke' in all media that women want committment, marriage, the whole shebang? It's widespread cultural knowledge that women, as a whole, are open to the idea of committed dating and family-raising. So if a group of people wants something, and they're still not actually doing it, that must mean something is stopping them. And from then on, it's a very small logical step to 'hm, maybe the problem … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 11:25 AM |
| 99 | Typical emotional abuse- bodyshaming tactics & using feigned ignorance regarding his fiancée's health needsI think it's very important to remember that when a man body-shames you, it has nothing to do with your body. Think about it. This man saw you before getting together with you. Even when looking at clothed people, it is very possible to make an accurate educated guess about what they look like under their clothing. Have you ever been hugely surprised by his body shape when a man takes off his shirt? Nah, you haven't. None of us have, because we have eyes and can gauge someone's size and level of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 10:42 AM |
| 1 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.This might be a bit late, but I just saw this- as someone who knows Germany very well (I'm from a neighbouring country and have family there), and has travelled extensively in the Nordic countries, I'd recommend the Nordic countries if English is your only language. Germans under 60 do, as a rule, speak at least some English, and most somewhat educated people under 40 are more or less fluent, but the German bureaucracy is much harder to navigate without German than the Norwegian one is without N… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 10:11 PM |
| 10 | Yeah yeah I know the answer is just to leave, but this visual is hilarious!Be glad you had that epiphany young. I come from a Catholic background. I believe in God and continue to practice the rituals of Catholicism because they resonate with me as an expression of worship, but I am a feminist who staunchly believes in the rights of homosexuals and a woman's right to choose. I've seen relatives and family friends of mine enter these 'traditional' marriages with these 'traditional' men. There are two outcomes: 'Traditional breadwinner dude' sadly fails at being a breadw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 09:53 PM |
| 9 | Yeah yeah I know the answer is just to leave, but this visual is hilarious!It's baffling how a quite egalitarian teaching could be abused so much, right? I consider myself religious, I believe in God, and the way I express and practice that tends to be through Catholicism because that's how I was raised and those are the rituals that resonate with me the most. Nevertheless, I'm staunchly pro-woman, pro-LGBQ, pro-choice. I really like Jesus. I'm not 100% sold on the entire son-of-God thing (Catholicism is really more of an expression of belief for me than a full-fledged… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 09:47 PM |
| 6 | Vet Rigorously Not Just For Present You but Especially For Future YouThis is so important! I once broke up with an otherwise decent man because he revealed he'd been spanked as a child and considered it 'helpful'. My children will be raised in a strictly non-violent household. If a man seems like he might sabotage that, he'll have no role in the creation of my children. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 08:59 AM |
| 8 | Accountability and Growth Tip: Buy a doll. Stick a post-it labelled 'My five-year-old self' onto it. Place it somewhere you'll see it.Sister, I am so sorry that happened to you. I wish you the best and admire your strength in surviving it. I don't think it's ever too late to do anything- maybe you could try connecting with your child self as more of her mother/protector? More along the lines of 'I am responsible for what becomes of this kid and the versions of it time crafts. I will do my best.' In the end, though, not all therapeutic practices work for everyone! If this isn't your cup of tea, that does not mean you're in some… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 09:11 AM |
| 36 | Accountability and Growth Tip: Buy a doll. Stick a post-it labelled 'My five-year-old self' onto it. Place it somewhere you'll see it.If you like it, give it a try! I found the visual reminder of who I'm actually doing this all for- the academic work, the self-growth, the self-discipline, the boundary-maintaining- SO helpful. It's one thing to abstractly know 'I am trying to do right by myself and that's why I should/shouldn't do X', it's quite another thing to SEE who you're doing it for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 07:54 PM |
| 30 | 'Body count': Do people count and what even matters?I think how you count (PIV, only people who made you orgasm, anything else) makes no difference. I also think you don't have to count. Mainly, I think it's important not to overshare such information with new partners, and to be mindful of whether and why a new partner is asking. I'd consider it an orange flag at best, a red flag at worst, if any partner displayed anything but the most passing of interests in how many previous partners I have had- and that's not because I'm hiding anything, it's… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 04:02 PM |
| 73 | Love seeing men educating other men :)Interesting point! I think with ignorance, there's two kinds- the 'honest' ignorance that comes from not sharing in the mental load (which is still awful), and a 'weaponised' kind that can be almost indistinguishable from it and usually serves the same goal as weaponised incompetence or other forms of pretend bumbling. Using your laundry example, it would be something like pretending not to know that laundry comes with folding, thus neatly removing yourself from the folding process by just prete… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 11:27 PM |
| 15 | How often do you go on a date?Glad you find it useful! What struck me about your post was how you said you waited for men who 'seem HV'. I obviously don't know what that means for you (and if it just means 'seems attractive, smart, funny, and safe' then by all means, ignore what I have to say), but in my experience, my dating life picked up speed when I did two things: First, when I started going places where appropriate men hung out by myself, and second, when I stopped being so hung-about about playing out all eventualitie… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 02:09 PM |
| 27 | How often do you go on a date?It might indeed be a US/Europe thing, or maybe it just takes some more trial and error? In my city, there are multiple theatres, for example, and each of those has a very distinct crowd. The big National Theatre tends to do more 'glam' historical productions that attract mainly older couples, and I wouldn't go there with the intention to meet new people my age. Have you checked out smaller theatres? Major ones often have 'outposts' with smaller stages where more experimental productions or young… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 12:51 AM |
| 117 | How often do you go on a date?No problem :) I think it depends on your interests- you're not helping anyone if you suddenly force yourself to go to the opera despite hating opera. Even if someone starts talking to you there, the conversation would probably not go too well just because the first topic would obviously be...opera. I personally love theatre and art. With art, it's specifically anything Renaissance and late medieval. With threatre, I'm open to almost anything. Accordingly, I hold membership cards for relevant art… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 12:13 AM |
| 191 | How often do you go on a date?I might be a rarity, but I date a decent amount- usually just first, second, or third dates, though. It's rare for me to actually get past that stage. I'd say I meet around a new man every other month, which usually translates to one to three dates a month, depending on whether the last man is still around. Of course, there are months with no date, and months with two guys parallel, but that's around the average. It's important to note that I do literally nothing with these guys besides an activ… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 11:19 PM |
| 197 | How do you handle being approached by scrotes?Sis, I'm afraid giving them your number, even when immediately blocking afterwards, creates a safety hazard. They might not be able to actually text/call you, but simply by having the number, they can reverse search it. There are search engines and services, some free, some not, that can spit out the data of the person the number is registered to- full name, address, all the good stuff. If you do not feel safe refusing them your number, either give a fake one or create a google voice number- tha… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 11:10 PM |
| 68 | She’s afraid of being “naggy”I understand, to a certain degree, how hard it can be to wake up and realise you're in a bad situation, especially when abuse is involved. Leaving an abuser is hard and if you did it, you rock. But in situations like this- where, from her description, the 'boyfriend' is not particularly abusive, just exceedingly neglectful of himself and his environment, including her- I sometimes seriously don't quite understand how these women seem to be so utterly blind to the situation they are in. I get it.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 10:32 PM |
| 5 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.Exactly! Their 'legacy' amounts to some form of upper middle class background at best and nothing but dorito dust at worst. Still, a lot of men are obsessed with this strange notion of 'legacy' and see children as a means to achieve it. We all know men who yearn for a son. This is why. Children, to many LVM, are just that. 'Legacy'. Not a responsibility, not a gift or blessing, not a huge promise to do your best. Just 'legacy', legacy that someone else- their mother- cares for on the day-to-day.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:35 PM |
| 3 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.I have been at the lower end of the healthy weight range all my life (BMI 19-ish), and I can 100% vouch for the first reason. Status. I haven't personally experienced the second reason, but I think control plays a large role in it as well: Weight is a sore spot for many women, and scrotes think comments like 'geez, you don't look like you could eat that much' or the reverse 'I love how ladylike your eating habits are' are an easy, low-risk way of negging a thin woman and fostering some form of i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:26 PM |
| 5 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.It's because as weird as it sounds, a child creates fewer obligations for a LVM than a marriage. Think about it: LVM do not help around the house. They sure as hell aren't doing the night feedings. They don't change diapers, keep up with schoolwork, or attent Parent-teacher-evenings. They don't craft with kids or read to them or do much of anything. A kid, for them, is basically just a live-in slight nuisance that has the benefit of aiding in the creation of mUh lEgACy. In the event of a breakup… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:20 PM |
| 6 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.I have a BMI of roughly 19, and let me tell you, if there's one thing I know, it's this: Men's demand for skinny women is not about finding thinness all that attractive, it's all about control. I've been very slim all my life- I like sports and have a naturally low-ish appetite. I have encountered men, both as platonic acquaintances and early-stage dating partners who I did not move towards any form of intimacy with, who liked to point out quirks in my eating habits in wonderfully backhanded, ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:11 PM |
| 5 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.Agreed! It depends a lot on the upbringing and general social 'awareness' of individual women, but I find that especially those young women who have a more lucid, thought-out approach towards their lives are increasingly cautious when it comes to kids. They might still want to be a mother, but they are verrrryy careful about the specifics- when, with whom, how many kids. Basically, if you want kids with one of those women who everyone wants- the pretty, smart, funny, socially aware ones- you got… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 03:56 PM |
| 63 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.I met a man once who wanted six (six!) children. He exclusively dated very slim girls and eventually asked me, a fellow slim girl, out. I refused- just got a bad vibe from him. One of his exes later told me that the main reason she broke up with him was that he kept criticising her stomach. That girl was maaaaybe 115 pounds whilst being 5'5. She had no stomach. Her mother and grandmother had similar figures- she had no worries about her weight after kids. Still, after the third time he pointed o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 12:46 AM |
| 3 | Daddy issuesOh, honey. I cannot even express properly how much more you are worth than you currently give yourself credit for. I cannot even find the words to describe how much stronger, wiser, and greater you are than you seem to believe. At just 25, you recognised patterns that it takes some people a lifetime to even become aware of. You endured one of the hardest things a person can suffer, and what did you do? You said 'Fuck this. I'm not going to be broken by this. I'm going to heal.' And you booked yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 10:26 PM |
| 70 | If his friends are LV, then he’s a LVMThis is especially important because eventually, one of his friends WILL step over your boundaries, and he WILL side with the friend. Even if it's not a real friend, but just someone he identifies with. Storytime: I dated a young man once who was a bit of a rising star in local politics. Nice guy, wonderfully educated and smart, very attractive. He was part of a party that leans a tad more conservative than my own political values, but it's important to remember that I come from a country that i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 12:21 PM |
| 12 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.Apologies for being unclear! Ultimately, what every woman does in bed is up to her, and more power to you if you want to have PIV! For me, personally, not having PIV is just a method of contraception. I do not want to/can't take hormonal birth control for health reasons. A copper IUD caused painful cramps and extremely heavy periods for me. Condoms have a pearl index of between 2-12 with typical use, which is much, much higher than other forms of contraception. For me personally, condoms are not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 09:25 PM |
| 24 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.I mean, for a start, I don't do anal (obviously) and only have sex in committed, exclusive relationships. Secondly, I enjoy good sex and want to have it. Not casual sex, not one-night-stands, but I enjoy sex in committed relationships. I even enjoy (clean, well-groomed, healthy, not-pornsick) penises that are attached to nice, attractive, healthy, enjoyable men who are committed to me. I just don't enjoy the risks associated with PIV. I still have a libido and am attracted to men, provided they … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 07:43 PM |
| 79 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.Yes, I remember our conversation- I was similarly baffled that this isn't more common! After all, this is probably the oldest method of contraception- I don't believe for one second that our medieval great-great-great-...-grandmothers never enjoyed a good bit of frottage with their betrothed when they were feeling up to it, but couldn't risk pregnancy yet. I think abstinence has been mixed in with fundamentalist religion and woman-hating moralistic nonsense so much that many women don't even rec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 02:52 PM |
| 41 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.100% agreed! I don't even find myself missing PIV. Even in my past long-term relationship, where we did have PIV, it was just one tool in the arsenal, so to speak- we still had half of our sex without PIV just because of the ease and simplicity! Honestly, abstinence only education is such a blast for me because I find myself nodding along with half of its arguments, only to then come to the conclusion 'alright, so let's have you go down on me!' I mean, the abstinence only people are perfectly co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 02:43 PM |
| 122 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.I honestly think it's baffling how connected sex and PIV are, despite PIV being so risky and only really guaranteeing orgasm for one partner anyways! My sex life has improved tremendously since restricting PIV to very established partners, with whom discussions on risks have taken place. So much less stress, more orgasms for me, and same number of orgasms for my partners. It's literally a no-loss situation. Especially the reduced worries about contraception- I don't take hormonal contraception, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 01:59 PM |
| 83 | In light of Roe v. Wade: Please be aware that not having PIV sex is a realistic, pragmatic, modern solution that does not have to be mixed in with religious convictions or shame.It's baffling, really, isn't it? We associate sex and penetration so much, despite penetration being a) the riskiest sexual act and b) only really guaranteeing an orgasm for one partner. Honestly, if I've learnt one thing in the past two years, it's that men can come whatever way. I'm talking frottage, groping, some manual stimulation- if they're healthy, they come. I don't even think you need to talk about it explicitly. You can just...do other things. If a dude asks explicitly, you can conside… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 01:57 PM |
| 77 | Roe will likely be overturned.Sisters, please be aware that this isn't just rhetoric, it's a real option! I am a 24-year-old, attractive, educated, normal woman, without strong religious convictions regarding sex before marriage,without moralistic shame around sex, and I have not had PIV sex in two years despite having had multiple intimate partners in that timeframe. Abstaining from PIV sex does NOT equal not having intimacy. I've had oral, manual, everything-ual sex with four men in the past two years, NONE of which compla… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 10:40 AM |
| 1 | This made me feel dirty, I'm glad I broke up with himI sometimes wonder whether that is the case for at least some people, too! I could see it working for general tendencies (like, if your first few experiences with sexual content all featured some element of femdom, that might stay interesting down the line) but I don't think it would adequately explain more extreme fetishes? I don't think all that many men are exposed to stepsister porn as their very first encounter with sexual content, but look how many are into it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 12:40 AM |
| 5 | This made me feel dirty, I'm glad I broke up with himThanks XD That friend and I were in the same undergrad degree, and men's different reactions to us were so funny. Parties were a blast! Back then, I didn't drink at all, whereas she could hold her liquor quite well. You could basically split scrotes evenly down the middle: Half looked at her and went 'Hur durr, strong woman drink strong beer, has strong calves, will bear strong sons and crush me in bed, hurr durr- not like weak, girly friend who no drink and look pale'! and the other half looked… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/21 12:35 AM |
| 18 | This made me feel dirty, I'm glad I broke up with himAh, I think I can tell you what that probably was! A friend of mine, who is around 5.9-ish and fairly sporty, occasionally encounters guys who have some sort of...Amazonian warrior goddess fetish? Some sort of 'wanting to be crushed by strong female thighs'-thing. Usually includes lots of 'I'm so glad you have an actual appetite'-fetishisation of her eating lots of protein, strange obsessions with certain outfits that go a bit into the cavewoman-Amazonian goddess-direction, an inpulse to be 'mot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 10:44 PM |
| 18 | How to have quality dates in lockdowns/high COVID incidence?Yeah, sorry, but that just doesn't add up. Someone who is double vaxxed AND boosted AND obviously not scared enough to meet an entirely new person for a date, which at least carries the possibility of close physical contact, is not that worried about magically catching covid in a restaurant. I'm sorry, sis, but he's using covid as an excuse. He never wanted to meet up in a restaurant. A walk was always his original plan. He was just using the restaurant idea to lure you in, never actually planni… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 08:51 PM |
| 24 | How to have quality dates in lockdowns/high COVID incidence?I live in a country close to Germany with very similar covid restrictions, and I think there's really only two options: You either suck it up and get tested, or you don't date. There's no real middle ground, and I think both options are equally HV. I personally enjoy a lot of cultural activities and am not willing to give them up now that I'm fully vaccinated. I have no issues going out to the theatre, museums, or restaurants both with friends and with men and just having everyone get tested bef… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/12/21 07:47 PM |
| 87 | For the men who complain about dead bedrooms, how does it feel to be the architect of you own misery?Or, the reverse: He only touches her in sexual ways! I noticed that with a friend of mine. In public, she'll take her boyfriends hand, ruffle his hair, kiss him on the cheek. Innocent, non-sexual touch. His go-to move is to put his hand in the back pocket of her trousers. We were out together with some friends last night, and she physically slapped him away from more intimate areas once or twice. Ew. She's recently complained to me about no longer wanting sex despite having a normally very healt… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 06:15 PM |
| 17 | US-based women who are actively dating/in relationships: Protect your wombOMG, same! I haven't had PIV sex in....two years, at this point? Also working on my PhD right now, basically same reasoning- I don't want to take hormonal birth control because of the side effects, I don't like the heavier periods and cramps a copper IUD causes in me, I don't feel safe enough with condoms, and I personally wouldn't necessarily want to have an abortion for PERSONAL reasons- I would never make the choice for another woman! Accordingly, no PIV. Were you also surprised by how easy t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/12/21 03:26 PM |
| 4 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.I am screaming! Now I have the urge to check the fingers of all my female colleagues- let's see which of one's deserves a promotion! I can just imagine his sad expression when looking at your fingers so well. Thank you for that laugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 12:29 PM |
| 5 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.I'm sensing a beautiful story of a family migrating into the Swiss Alps in order to commune with the spirits of the mountains there, who have taught them their secret mating ritual. One midwinter night, against the scenic backdrop of the ice and snow and fir trees, a father and a son spend the night in a beautiful lodge after a day of hiking through the snow. It is silent, a holy winter silence, a silence in which one can imagine spirits flitting about just over the glittering snow. 'Son.', the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/11/21 12:21 PM |
| 8 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Good Lord, I can't believe it! You don't live in a tiny European country, by any chance? Because those two stories are so similar I am wondering whether we have had the good fortune to meet the same madman- right down to mishearing at first! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 09:33 PM |
| 42 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.'so it's more muscular, like mine' ?! I'd tell him to go fuck himself, but it seems he wants to do that anyways! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 08:35 PM |
| 12 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.A bump on your eyelid? Good Lord, I am so sorry, girl, but I'm afraid we'll have to take the whole eye out! On a serious note, I sometimes wonder whether these dudes have a different way of perceiving human bodies and faces, because I just don't see details of that level. Granted, I have the eyesight of the bookworm nerd I am, but it's not like contacts don't exist, and neither I nor any well-adjusted person I know (male or female) notice things like slight asymmetries, tiny moles, freckles, lit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 08:21 PM |
| 5 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Yes! Do it! You go, girl! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 08:16 PM |
| 15 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Sis, I DIED. I have no clue what response he wanted, but I settled on a deeply amused 'Thank you. Good-bye.' Because at that point, I really could only thank him for providing me with a party anecdote for the ages. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 08:16 PM |
| 55 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Today I learnt that my mother, who has birthed two children, is actually male. Wonders never cease! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 06:45 PM |
| 69 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.The belly button one is just the most perfect thing. They all are! And what a bizarre thing to say about tall and thin women! Truth be told, I think we should all take these negs as good signs. If a man who is really, really trying his damn best to find a looks-based insult can only come up with 'ur eyeballs holey', 'bellybutton BIG', and 'u look like model >:(', that means that we must all be without obvious optical flaws, because God knows they would have picked out something less bizarre then… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 06:41 PM |
| 38 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.This is exactly it! Like, before Eyeballgate, this was a reasonable date. I wasn't really into it, but it wasn't horrible and it's not like he knew I wasn't into it anymore. I'm sure someone with lower standards would have been up for a second meeting, previous to the Eyeball Incident. But after?!? Dude would have basically shot it to shit even with a pickme! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 05:51 PM |
| 290 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.How exceedingly kind of him to find a body type that 90% of young boys masturbate to (the other 10% being gay) attractive! I sure do hope you honoured his brave sacrifice by immediately sleeping with him? Oh God. I can't. Imagine being dumb enough to think that sort of neg would work! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:36 PM |
| 16 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.PLEASE report back! I'm dying just imagining it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:26 PM |
| 218 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.I did not even know that was possible, and I'm amazed! Did you notice a marked increase in male attention whilst those pesky eyeball holes were finally concealed? Wishing you moist eyes and a scrote-free life, sister! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:09 PM |
| 36 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Exactly! What business do we have having holes to small for even the tiniest of shrimpdicks to penetrate? An affront! But yeah, this is it. I'll never be insecure about my looks again. If a man who really tried to could only come up with 'holes in eyeballs' as an insult to my looks, that means there's really nothing obviously wrong with them. He would have found something slightly less bizarre if there was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:05 PM |
| 138 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Not at him, but you bet I sent a voice message to my best friend afterwards that can only be described as a pterodactyl screech of laughter. In the moment with him, I basically went through a lot of emotions in a very short timeframe. The first was fear, because I thought something horrible had happened to my eyes without me noticing and he was pointing out a hole in my actual eyeball, which obviously would have been terrifying. Then, confusion, when I realise what he meant. Then, fear again, wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:03 PM |
| 170 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.A BIG BELLYBUTTON, I cannot, sis! I can't believe this. I have never, to my knowledge, paid conscious attention to a person's bellybutton apart from one time as a five-year-old kid when I noticed my brother's looks a bit like a smiling mouth when he hunches over. I sure found that hilarious. And wrists! Imagine a world where men give their wrist circumference in their dating app bios along with their heights! But honestly, I think we can all stop being insecure about our looks now. If a man who … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 03:00 PM |
| 37 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Honestly, the date itself wasn't bad. We met two weeks ago through acquaintances, had a pleasant chat at a party, and discovered a shared hobby/interest that was related to where we went on the date. We had a few really good conversations about that interest. The date itself was not awful, I just discovered that once we moved away from the realm of our shared hobby, he seemed a bit boring. He knew a lot about that one subject, but seemingly had very little going on for himself outside of that, w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 02:56 PM |
| 136 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.I promise you your height is perfectly okay, whether you're tall or short! Those fuckers legitimately look for anything. If you were perfectly average height, it would be your eyeball holes! So please, please, do not worry. Your height is perfect! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 12:23 PM |
| 493 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.New unattainable beauty standard just dropped: All his favourite porn actresses do not have tearduct openings! Better get a bit of filler injected to stuff that hole right up, ladies! Fulfill your man's fantasies of smooth, hole-less lower eylids! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 12:21 PM |
| 207 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Sis, when I tell you I DIED XD I legitimately was scared at first! Someone told me my eyes have holes! I thought something horrible had happened to them during our date without me noticing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 12:18 PM |
| 654 | This is it. I've found the neg to end all negs.Perfectly correct! But in the name of all that is holy (or should I say holey?!), of all the things one could pick! Just insult me about, idk, my hair! Something! Not my eyeball holes! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/11/21 12:17 PM |
| 7 | "in sickness and in health" must have a fine print clause that says something like: "except menopause of course". Because so many men abandon their wives during middle age it's astounding.Lol, I know, I got lucky, and I thank God for it XD I'm just trying to find someone who continues to put in effort past the novelty of a fresh relationship wearing off. I just don't date men who no longer put in the effort to be fun whilst I still put in the effort to shave my legs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 02:11 AM |
| 21 | "in sickness and in health" must have a fine print clause that says something like: "except menopause of course". Because so many men abandon their wives during middle age it's astounding.That is so bloody true. I haven't even really had any 'dramatic' breakups, my relationships have been with halfway reasonable men, for the most part. Even without any big scenes, it was still always me who had to do the legwork of actually breaking up. The usual pattern is them pulling away, investing less into the relationship, just no longer being present, no longer doing fun things, no longer really listening, and then acting surprised when I say I am no longer happy and wish to pursue other … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/11/21 12:42 AM |
| 25 | Is marriage always a good idea for a woman with assets?My mum is a divorce attorney. She's drilled into my head that before you get married, you NEED to have an individualised discussion with an actual, real lawyer, a discussion your fiance CANNOT know about. You have to walk into that office with a binder full of documents for all your important financial stuff and literally say 'I'm going to get married soon, and I need advice on what legal protections will help me secure my assets in the event of divorce'. Your situation will always be unique. Th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/11/21 11:06 AM |
| 11 | This is emotional manipulation and you should never, ever think your SO is necessary to make you feel complete. Any variation of this is bad. Please take it seriously, a man who idealizes you is easy to disappoint as he holds you to unreachable standards, and once disappointed, he is dangerous.Oh yes, that last line! A man once told me that after me, he would 'stop dating, as no other woman could ever compare', and that 'love was just an empty word without me'. Guess why I broke up with him? His highly strange, overly close friendship with a female friend, WHO HE IS NOW ENGAGED TO! But sure, I carry all the responsibility for your life's happiness by being your one single shot at Love. Sure, dude. Sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 06:21 PM |
| 99 | What's the best gift you received by a HVM?I think the best gifts I ever got from men weren't from dating partners. A few years ago, I coached three male students for a competition in our field. I knew the final round of the competition would in another country, so I did not expect to actually see the results of their hard work. I was pretty bummed about that, because I had participated myself a year before that and just loved loved loved the vibe of the event, but I was at my peak of being a broke grad student and just couldn't afford i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 02:55 PM |
| 12 | LV partners who ask to see us in VERY specific lingerieAs in, underwear for the first time he sees you without your clothes on? I go for elevated basics. I like black, I feel like that adds a certain sophistication even to very simple designs, and I find underpants made from a more silky material a bit more grown-up than plain cotton. Simple designs in good material, and absolutely no push-up or shapewear. And take a look at his underwear! I expect something along the lines of 'elevated basics' too when I take off someone's trousers- it's a bad sign… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/11/21 12:46 AM |
| 3 | “Scrote’s response to: “What sacrifice have you made to save for a down payment?”I think it is an age thing, to a certain point. I'm 23 going on 24, and whilst I've had crushes and felt fondness for partners, I don't believe I've ever been full-on in love and am not particularly bothered by that. I just haven't taken dating seriously up until a year or two ago, and whilst my relationships have been fun, I did not go into them with the kind of emotional openness that falling in love probably requires. Though I suppose it depends on how you define 'in love'- for me, 'being in … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 07:18 PM |
| 1 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!On the flip side, I have quite a few female friends and acquaintances who have gone the sperm donor and adoption routes. It's tough and draining, but they seem happy with their choice. Thank you for that insight! Most people around me aren't at the kids stage yet, but it's always nice to hear from people where the sperm bank/adoption route went well. And you're totally right on cultivating a mindset where being single is a default and a good option. I still struggle with that sometimes, not nece… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/21 02:44 PM |
| 7 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!Thank you for your response! I'm kind of making preparations for the single life as well, though I'm not ready to put dating on the backburner entirely yet- I want children, and ideally, I'd like to have thim with a good father who is present for them, even though I'd be willing to go the sperm bank or adoption route eventually. Have you found that the problem increased as the men around you also got a bit more established, or did it get a bit better? One issue I feel I am experiencing is that a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 03:03 PM |
| 15 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!High five, fellow students! May your footnotes not be too much of a hassle. My field is kind of weird to describe, but basically, it's a whole bunch of intellectual incest, so to speak. There are roughly ten university chairs in my country that are really relevant to it, plus maybe two or three institutes and maybe a dozen large companies and firms that the graduates with good grades eventually filter into. All in all, we're talking about a little 'world' that maaaaaybe has a few hundred people … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 02:35 PM |
| 10 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!In my experience, sadly, it does get worse with each new achievement. Back in undergrad, when I was just this shiny new kid on the block who managed to get really good grades and participate in a few prestigious projects, men still kind of reacted with a sort of goodwill towards me. Especially dudes in their mid-to-late-twenties, who might be grad students or just slighlty further along in their careers saw me as this sparkly young fresh thing full of invigorating ideas and all sorts of new angl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 01:10 PM |
| 16 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!Oh, I think I phrased that poorly- apologies! I'm not looking to get married in the next year or anything mad like that. I meant it more along the lines of me now leaving that totally carefree period of my early twenties where I basically dated whatever guy would take me on the most fun vacation or to the coolest art exhibit. I'm entering my mid-twenties now, it's starting to feel a bit more about more serious compatibility, you know? No longer just the fun. I was able to overlook certain things… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 07:49 AM |
| 55 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!I just read your post, seems to be the exact same issue! It's truly wild. I know intellectually that every man who goes 'nah' when realising I'm not dumb is trash taking itself out, but sometimes, it just fucking stings. Maybe because there is no analogous negative emotion to what those men feel in women. There are no women who go 'nah' at the sight of education in men. It's just not a thing. It's a completely foreign impulse, and I find it so fucking irritating, spineless, and weak. It's litera… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 07:34 AM |
| 16 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!Thank you for your comment, I found it very helpful and am glad you took the time to type it out! I agree on that perception of being 'out of their league' by similarly educated men and am kind of glad someone else had that thought, too. I've made that experience again and again in undergrad, when I was still more open to dating people I work/study with directly. I'd start seeing a guy, we'd have the same grades, run in the same circles, and he'd still somehow have a chip on his shoulder. I stop… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 07:27 AM |
| 16 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!Thank you for your input! I hope I'll eventually internalise that that's precisely what it is: top of funnel vetting. I rationally know that, but emotionally, it's a bit of a different deal at times. Especially when it happens after I've already had a good conversation or maybe even a few dates with a man, it kind of leaves a bit of a nasty sting. That experience with the guy at the art gallery event I described above captured it so perfectly and almost to an extreme that it just really hit the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 06:23 AM |
| 28 | Dating experiences of intelligent/highly educated/successful women: Tell me your stories and give me some advice!I'm sorry you had that experience! Hugs. I wish you the best. I'm fortunate that I never had a truly horrendous experience with a man, but I understand your issues with extremely intelligent men entirely. The last guy I dated had three (three!) advanced degrees, which he had done simultaneously (simultaneously!). He was so bloody smart. I started seeing him and literally thought 'yeah, this one won't be intimidated, he has no fucking reason to be'. Fast forward four months: realised the dude had… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/11/21 06:19 AM |
| 39 | “Men aren’t loved unconditionally, women are”I was just thinking the same thing- he's not my usual physical type AT ALL, but like damn, I'd meet this dude for dinner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/21 11:23 AM |
| 74 | Dating When You’re Young/Not Intending to Marry YET?Honestly, I think that's an issue that figures itself out as you go. Thinking about the realistic logistics of dating, relationships can go two ways: If you start dating someone, it either works out, or it doesn't. If you start dating someone when you're 21, and after a few years, you're still together and marriage becomes a realistic possibility, you can marry them. If they propose too early, you can say no or ask for more time. If it doesn't work out, you break up after a while, just as marria… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/11/21 04:44 PM |
| 6 | A man asked, "most men aren't bad so why don't women trust us all?" Here is my my reply:Thank you for your kind words and support! I agree. I believe at its core, their feigned incompetence is a) about them maintaining their self-serving interest in not having to reevaluate their own behaviour and that of the men around them and b) about them literally not seeing women as human enough to realise that their pain is real. A woman expressing a negative experience she had with a man is foremost an annoyance to a lot of men, because it forces them to reflect and forces them to deal with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 04:09 PM |
| 4 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.I'm glad it was of help and hope you can find your way back to the realm of normalcy, where the world follows the ordinary laws and rules, quickly! As a rule of thumb: If you have a problem with a man that you literally never had with a platonic female friend before, you're in gagaland. It's not the only guideline, but if they are making you feel bad about something that just was never a factor in any of your platonic relationships, it just is. not. real. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 12:48 PM |
| 25 | A man asked, "most men aren't bad so why don't women trust us all?" Here is my my reply:I was fortunate enough never to have a horrible experience with a boyfriend, but the one single worst moment I had with a partner was this: When I was in undergrad, I got harassed by a TA. I reported him and got him fired. My boyfriend at the time was decently supportive as the proceedings were going on, but a few weeks later, we were at a gathering with his friends and somehow, the topic of harassment came up in conversation. There was a group of a few acquaintances of his who suddenly started … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 12:43 PM |
| 39 | Men will date/marry women they aren’t even attracted to/like, if their appearance brings them status.This. In addition, they treat female bodies like accessories for certain life stages they are in. I'm working on my PhD in the realm of finance-business-law (don't want to be too specific online) and know lots of the WASPy, rich dude types. You know that line from Legally Blonde- 'I need to marry a Jackie, but you are a Marilyn'? A lot of these dudes live that line. I know multiple men who have dated 'Marilyns', or at least the modern version of them- curves, fun, softness- for years, and then t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/10/21 12:14 PM |
| 16 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.I'm glad it could be helpful! The number one tip my mum gives to get that view on your own life is journalling. It doesn't have to be a daily diary, it's plenty sufficient to just sit down maybe twice a month and jot down a bit about the rythms of your life, the people you see, the things you do and enjoy, the places you go, the feelings you feel, the adjectives you'd use to describe your last week or two.... If you do that for a few months, you get a very useful 'basline' for what your life is … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 10:50 AM |
| 17 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.That is such a horrible experience! I'm sorry you had to go through that and hope you'll never meet someone as shitty as that again! It really shows how insidious this kind of crap can be. Especially if it's behaviour related to infrequent events like travelling, it really can take ages to uncover the pattern, but your own feelings and lived realities, those show up right away and can be spotted easily! My mum recommends journaling to get a sort of 'baseline' for how your life normally is and fe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 10:41 AM |
| 12 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.I'm glad it could be helpful and I hope it will help you make good choices for yourself! Honestly, I'm so glad for my mother and the kind of no-nonsense advice she shared with me as I became an adult. I'm not knowledgeable on psychology beyond a pop-psych understanding of common signs of abuse. I'm a normal person without advanced skills in expression reading, behavioural analysis, or attachment types and how they display. Despite that, I don't really worry about falling prey to abuse or weirdne… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 10:34 AM |
| 25 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.Keep blasting that pop- I'm so glad you're doing that again! I'm so happy you got out early. I can't tell you how many women I have seen in her practice who didn't get out when you got out, and suddenly found themselves in a kind of parallel universe where they are lovely, amazing people, everyone from the outside world agrees that they are lovely, amazing people, but once they go home to their husbands, they enter a gaga-world where he makes her feel like there's something fundamentally wrong w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/10/21 08:50 AM |
| 136 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.I'm glad you find it useful! Honestly, a lot of the other stuff she preaches is pretty standard FDS, with a legal twist. She's big on getting consults with a lawyer before you get married or move in with someone. Civil marriage has very little to do with love for her, and she's less indiscriminately in favour of marriage as an end goal as FDS sometimes seems to be, and rather advises to enter it with legal support on hand. Especially as women are starting to outearn men, it's no longer the simpl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 09:19 PM |
| 64 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.That's exactly what it is- certain shit, you just don't recognise as a normal person! You don't even think along the tracks that would enable to you understand a certain type of sociopathic behaviour, nevermind notice it in a man who is otherwise nice and seemingly HV! You really only see the effects it has on your life. Even if you don't undestand where they come from, even if you believe it's your fault things are going sideways, the effects are there and if you have a journal of some sort, or… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 09:12 PM |
| 162 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.Don't worry, you are not the only one! Ask my mum, she's seen hundreds of women with these sorts of stories, and you at least didn't marry the fucker! And please, do the journalling! It's virtually impossible to judge male behaviour 100% accurately, unless it's glaringly, obviously bad. Using your own lived experience as a guideline instead will make everything so, so much easier. I've yet to meet a woman who divorced a man who made her life truly, deeply, truthfully better than it would be with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 08:59 PM |
| 61 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.I'm glad you think it's useful! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 08:37 PM |
| 158 | When evaluating a man, don't just look at how you perceive his behaviour. Also look at the factual realities of your life before/after he came into it.I'm glad it could be helpful! Honestly, my mum was and is a godsend for my life. She's seen hundreds, if not thousands of divorces caused by LV behaviour from men. There are certain patterns in what makes a LVM, but ultimately, it's going to be so varied and some men are so good at disguising it, that your safest bet ultimately is looking at yourself and your lived experience to judge whether you want to continue with a dude. This shit has saved me, too. I'm in my mid-twenties and at this point,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 08:31 PM |
| 11 | Upholding boundaries around porn/sex work/strip clubs is not insecure. Actually, it’s the opposite of insecure.I'm not from the US, but I live in a fairly conservative part of my otherwise very liberal European country. I'm not sure whether it's exactly comparable to a red State in the US, as it's a major metropolitan area and most red state clichees I know also make them out to be a bit rural (?), but still- strip club visits would be extreme and abnormal behaviour here! Stay strong! I wish you the best and hope you'll first find peace with yourself and then, at some point, someone who does not engage i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 05:58 PM |
| 26 | Does he accidentally break/ruin your things? Or is it covert domestic violence?I'm sorry your mother isn't the best. Hugs. I hope you'll find an alternative mother figure in your life at some point, and I'm sure you won't perpetuate whatever she did wrong if or when you have children. I'm very fortunate to have her. She's been happily married for 25 years to my and my brother's father, has a fascinating life story, and just a real good head on her shoulders. My friends in high school used to joke that if I ever got divorced, my ex shouldn't bother calling a lawyer of his o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 05:54 PM |
| 26 | Does he accidentally break/ruin your things? Or is it covert domestic violence?I might write up a piece of relationship advice that she gave to me and all her clients soon! I'm sick right now anyways, it's not like I have something better to do, and I think I've never seen something like it on FDS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 05:51 PM |
| 114 | Does he accidentally break/ruin your things? Or is it covert domestic violence?Yes! From what I see, it's also often a tactic abusers use on women they think are 'too smart' to stand physical abuse. Like, let's imagine a woman with decent self-esteem and boundaries has accidentally found herself dating an abusive LVM. The woman wants to go on a weekend trip with her girlfriends. He hates that thought. Unless he's horrifically stupid, he know that slapping her across the face and saying 'You're not going!' will earn him a breakup. So what does he do? Whilst they are organis… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 01:40 PM |
| 248 | Does he accidentally break/ruin your things? Or is it covert domestic violence?My mother is a divorce attorney (which is 80% of the reason why I never made huge dating mistakes even before FDS. Thanks, mum, for having an adult sitdown discussion about marriage, dating, parenthood, and sex with me early on) and you would not believe how many men 'accidentally' destroy HUGELY important things. I've seen 'accidental' dog and cat killings. I've seen 'accidental' throwing away of priceless family heirlooms. 'Accidental' phone destruction. And, a total classic- 'Accidentally' pu… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 01:10 PM |
| 57 | "If you aren't attracted to 17-18 year olds, your either abnormal or a liar". This makes me feel so afraid for young women. As this becomes even more normalized, the number will just keep dropping.I, as well as all my friends, are in our twenties and even we find teenagers utterly unappealing! Undercooked loaves of bread is exactly what it is! I know plenty of bisexual and lesbian girls, I myself am bi, and it goes for teen girls as well as boys! I find it shocking how this scrote presumes everyone thinks like him. It's one thing to be depraved enough to be into teenagers once you're out of your very early twenties at the latest- and don't get me wrong, that is just ew- but it's just anot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 12:10 PM |
| 37 | Upholding boundaries around porn/sex work/strip clubs is not insecure. Actually, it’s the opposite of insecure.Apart from the utter bullshit of trying to convince you to stay with someone so obviously LV, that statement is just patently untrue?! Of course, I don't have total oversight over the lives of all men I know, and I'm sure a few of them get up to depraved shit I would never suspect. Still, from all my conversations with friends and family on topics like that, visiting strip clubs is still seen as 'extreme' behaviour in large parts of society. Where tf do your friends look for men that strip clubs… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 10:30 AM |
| 21 | Men's bad hygiene is so common even SNL is making fun of itI'm in my early twenties, and can offer insight! There's basically four sorts of men my age, style and hygiene-wise: Roughly 10% are top-notch clean, smelling good, teeth in order, hair styled properly, well-dressed. Then, roughly 40% are in that realm of 'clean, but please, figure out some sort of style for yourself'. Another 45% seem...a bit grubby. Not in a way that makes you wonder whether they wipe, but kinda rank. I think it's usually the case that their bodies themselves are reasonably cl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/21 10:11 AM |
| 11 | Beware of neggingUsing a best friend's number as a backup number for insta etc is genius, thank you for that idea! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 02:07 PM |
| 23 | How to you feel about the idea that "most men don't marry the woman they love the most. They marry the woman that’s around when they’re ready to marry."That first point is so true! I've never got back with an ex despite all of them angling for it at some point, because I've seen how it ended for female friends and relatives. After a brief stage of him promising them anything and everything and seeminly doing his best to 'change' (bonus point if he asks her to 'change' some benign thing about herself as well, just to maintain control!), there's usually either some huge bang involving alcohol and a monstrous fuck-up on his part, it just slides ba… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 11:56 AM |
| 128 | Women: Don't accept a single neg. Check out the dating advice men give each other.Yes! They always get so pissy about other men then doing what they didn't. Even if you aren't connected to them romantically! I remember how a man I once dated and who disappointed me greatly with a very generic, not-me birthday gift got absolutely flustered when he saw the beautiful, clearly meaningful gift my brother had given me displayed in my house. It's why I advocate always acting like you've been treated well by men before, even if you historically haven't been. Mention nice things an ex… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 11:03 AM |
| 81 | Truth in humor?😬It's a baffling interplay between some of them being insecure about it to the point of getting a terminal case of Settledownwiththenextwomanimmediately-itis, but not being motivated by it enough to just fix it. Like, if something horrified me so much that I would be willing to change my entire lifestyle concept from 'trying to fuck around' to 'this is the girl I should get settled with, better is unlikely to come', which is a huge change, I'd at least explore some other options first. Hair syste… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/21 10:50 AM |
| 244 | The "good old days" weren't good for Grandma. Now we know better- suffer for what?That's such a pertinent phrase! I'd also add 'Now that men actually have to be likeable, because women no longer depend on them for survival, we realise that a lot of them are not likeable the slightest bit'. Because that's what it is, in the end. You gotta be more than a paycheck to be a net benefit to a woman who has her own paycheck. You gotta contribute in other ways. You can't just lean back on the housework, childcare, emotional labour, and excuse yourself by pointing to the fact that you … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/10/21 09:07 AM |
| 14 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.I agree 100%! I've had the exact same feeling. Even in the early stages of dating, I've noticed male interest and enthusiasm change notably once they discovered even totally benign facts about me that just did not fit their image. I'm talking things like my favourite sport being bouldering ("I thought you said were a dancer"- Yes, when I was twelve! It's been a while! Sorry to ruin your fragile ballerina fantasy for you!). Totally bizarre nonsense. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 10:48 AM |
| 14 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.Oh God, this makes it even better XD. He did eventually find my instagram. But tough luck- my instagram is 90% pictures of various conferences and work-related events. Deeply, deeply unsexy pictures of me shaking hands with old-ass professors and functionaries whose aura of absolute sexlessness could render Monica Belluci a boner-killer if she stood next to them. He even tried watching my story, which was.... an infograph. There's one picture of me at a dinner party where I'm at least wearing so… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 10:35 AM |
| 7 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.Thank you, and you too! May you find someone who actually listens to you and sees more than a pretty face. We'll do this! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 10:33 AM |
| 9 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.Sis, I know it hurts right now, but please know that you are better off without him. I dated a man who didn't see 'me' for a few months. I wasn't even emotionally invested, it was just a fun summer fling. Bit of travelling, bit of restaurant-hopping, a beach here and there. He saw me as a sort of trophy girlfriend and did not integrate the more brainy, nerdy parts of me into his image of me. Despite me never being emotionally investend and essentially treating the entire 'relationship' as a bit … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 10:30 AM |
| 52 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.The vetting by being myself in a quirky way is something I've been doing for a few years now, too! I started after a man I was on a second date with bizarrely got annoyed that the first thing that pops up when you google me is my university's webpage, not my instagram, because 'he wanted to find my insta and then had to, quote, 'scourge through pages and pages of this weird uni shit'. Sis, I almost died laughing. That weird uni shit is how I spend my time! It's my life! He literally told me he d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 03:24 PM |
| 76 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.I'm so sorry you had that crap experience and hope it's far behind you now! Yeah, the interest in my interests-part is a thing I now ALWAYS do very early on in dating a guy. The way I look is very disparate from the way I actually am. I'm very put-together with lots of bouncy hair and a wardrobe full of designer heels, but I'm a huge fucking nerd in the original sense of 'intense academic interests'. I pour my life's blood into my research and have spent entire years squirreled away in weird lit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 03:19 PM |
| 74 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.Yes, presents are such a good indicator of this! Sometimes, it is natural to mess up a bit, especially early on, but especially if someone has such easy things to pounce upon like you do- a particular style and comparatively easy-to-shop-for, yet well-defined hobbies like reading, there's really no excuse to miss so far that you end up in generic girlfriend present-territory. I totally concur on the effort you see women put into showing that they see your uniqueness with their presents. Just loo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 01:48 PM |
| 265 | One of the most bittersweet, but ultimately helpful realisations of my dating life: For a LVM, it isn't about you. Make sure that it is about you for the guy you're dating.It took me a while to figure this out myself, too! I once dated a dude who was honestly a decent boyfriend. We had fun together. Lots of nice dinners, a few nice vacations, we got along swell. It took me a few months to figure out that the things we did were lovely, but utterly generic. It was like he was running through a- honestly quite decent!- 'how to have a girlfriend'-script. In the next step, I figured out that this was because the parts of me he liked best were the parts literally anyone… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/10/21 12:56 PM |
| 25 | How do you get exes to leave you alone for good?That's because you are a normal person who moves on. He isn't. He's gaga. No normal person does this shit. That why you have to take this seriously: You cannot trust him to stick to the normal rules of human behaviour (non-violence, taking 'no' for an answer, respecting boundaries, respecting your space) because he has already demonstrated by developing this strange obsession that he is not sticking to the normal rules of human behaviour. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 11:01 AM |
| 45 | How do you get exes to leave you alone for good?Yes. It is. Even if they can't do anything drastic like arresting him, it will at the very least establish a record that will help you later. You might also be able to get a policecar to do drive-bys by your house every few hours, or get a similar sort of protection detail. GO TO POLICE. This man has left the normal realm of 'ex still hung up on you' and entered the realm of 'gaga stalker'. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 10:53 AM |
| 117 | How do you get exes to leave you alone for good?When it reaches that point, there is nothing you can do to control their behaviour. They have left the realm of 'normal human person behaviour' and entered the realm of 'gaga', where you cannot reach them with normal human person behaviour. At that point, it becomes about protecting yourself from their crazy, not preventing them from being crazy. They are crazy. There is nothing you can say or do to change that, you must simply protect yourself. GO TO POLICE. Establish a record of his personal b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 10:40 AM |
| 15 | They will always show up again, one way or anotherSame here! Like, I don't even remember dudes I went on two dates with three years ago, unless I really dig deep in my brain. Can't block a number you don't even have! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 10:20 AM |
| 20 | They will always show up again, one way or anotherPlease don't think of yourself as stupid! Making mistakes isn't stupid, not correcting them is. You dumped them. You corrected your mistakes. These men obviously didn't, because they still haven't learned how to conduct themselves with women, as we can plainly see by their continued efforts to contact you in maladaptive, inappropriate ways. And yeah, it's totally bizarre. I agree with you 100%- I would miss me too!- but at the same time, there isn't anything anyone, no matter how amazing, can do… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 09:52 AM |
| 40 | They will always show up again, one way or anotherI think that realisation of 'this is as good as it gets' is one of the most profound realisations I made as I entered adulthood. It's made it so much easier for me to block, delete, and forget, because if this is the maximum I'm gonna get, and the maximum is a crappy drunk phone call crying to me about 'past mistakes' or a truly misguided proposal two weeks after a breakup, then why the fuck am I keeping the possibility of further communication open by not blocking? If you're scared of your ex, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 09:46 AM |
| 182 | They will always show up again, one way or anotherI swear, you leaving triggers something weird in LVM. I totally concur with you- every man I have ever left has taken it upon themselves to try to get me back, often years later. I don't find it flattering, it usually just irritates me and makes me sad for the women they are with now. I think the saddest one was a guy I very briefly dated in my late teens. He was a devout Catholic, which did not match my (Catholic, but very progressive) values. Furthermore, I discovered that he had a sort of str… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/21 08:48 AM |
| 8 | Men who are virgins late in life are red flags.I agree. It's about the intention and the plan- no matter whether his reasons for not having sex were religion, culture, financial stability, or romantic notions, it is pivotal that his not having sex was a decision he made intentionally and with some sort of plan in mind. Not a decision made for him by a lack of social skills, attractive traits, and a resulting lack of female interest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/21 08:50 PM |
| 35 | I can’t help but feel there’s some propaganda going on to influence women away from education/ financial success… in favour of being a dedicated wife to a less intelligent, low earning partner. Here’s the evidence & my response:I've seen the same issue crop up in my social circle- I'm getting my doctorate somewhere in the field of law, business, and finance (don't want to be too specific online) and know lots of women who dated down. It ends terribly. The thing that seems to work really well whenever men on a similar level of high-fly education and money-making aren't available is to date someone who equals you, if not in degrees or earnings, in passion. I know plenty of women who make a lot and have about as many degr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/10/21 08:38 AM |
| 105 | Don’t tell a man about your past sex life ever…I once dated a very devout Catholic. I'm Catholic myself, but very liberal and progressive, which I initially thought he was too, as his social circle consisted entirely of progressive, nice people. We only dated briefly before I broke up with him for obvious reasons of political and value misalignments. We were both in our very early twenties and accordingly, I had very little previous sexual experience because of the way time works and shit. Throughout the relationship, he did NOT recognise th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/21 09:26 AM |
| 2 | Incels have always been among us.I hate hate HATE how some authorities and people use that as an argument. The political aims of PLENTY of terrorist groups are entirely bonkers and that doesn't change our perception of them as terrorists! Turning European countries with centuries-long histories of immigration into white ethnostates or establishing a radical caliphate in France aren't exactly realistic goals- in fact, I'd consider them less realistic than some iterations of the 'State-mandated girlfriend'-demand, because there a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 07:46 AM |
| 1 | What is it about video games that I, and many others, find so repulsive?I honestly think the entire debate about whether gaming is a valid hobby or an art form or mere media consumption is kind of pointless from the perspective of non-gaming women who are just trying to evaluate how to approach male gaming in their dating lives, because even if it is a hobby, that doesn't change our relationship to it. Anything more than the occasional round of Mario once every few months is a deal-breaker to me, but I STILL consider it a hobby. Just not one I want my partner to hav… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/08/21 06:39 PM |
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter