My sister is the biggest pickmeisha of all time. She realizes it is bad every single time (after it bites her hard), and I always think she has had a breakthrough, but she never actually changes and repeatedly gets with NVM or even worse. How can I help her?

Moonmask999 · 2020-09-16T02:11:14+00:00

you can’t help people that do not want help, people who ask for help but don’t listen and make the same mistakes over and over, or people who can’t help themselves.

id stop giving her advice if she asks for it. id stop giving her unsolicited advice. and if, this is a big if, if she does come to you for advice repeatedly- after 3 times, show her the fds handbook.

2020-09-16T07:07:51+00:00

I would say that she hasn’t reached her rock bottom to make the choice internally to change. It might be hard to believe considering how bad things are. It’s so hard but at this time I don’t believe she can be helped because I believe you have done everything you can. At this point you need to love yourself enough to stop blaming yourself for not being able to help her.

2020-09-16T03:33:16+00:00

Gray rock her. Truth is, people like her are irredeemable and what they truly want is to be the center of drama, and to soak up all the attention, pity, and coddling. Kinda like a victim complex. You "trying to help her" is just enabling her because it's a form of reward. She fucks up, you give her attention and are at her beck and call.

Do not react AT ALL when she comes to you with her "issues" and expects you to mollycoddle her. If you need to, tell her "I am not gonna engage/talk about this anymore" and walk out of the room. Lock yourself in your room, go on a walk, get out.

Do NOT engage. Do not explain. Gray. Rock. Her.

At most, tell her "I tried helping you in the past, I've done all I could in my power. This is my limit." And leave it at that.

2020-09-16T11:49:49+00:00

Disown her in a fake way.

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