Crosspost "Me (26F) "Broke up" with very busy SO (26M) via text due to feeling neglected. He never even replied. Help?" from /r/relationships:

EDIT: Thanks for your perspectives guys. I get what I did was shitty, and it wasn't the best way to go about it, I just got overwhelmed. To be clear, I wasn't expecting the guy to chase me or anything. The message I sent said: "this relationship isn't working for me right now", as he hasn't said a word to me in days. So to that sentence I felt there should have been some sort of reply.

I am also in CBT therapy, as I said, for GAD. I've been doing a lot better but some things are just too much for me to handle properly. I'm definitely going to continue working on myself.

The relationship is clearly over, I wanted to ask for different views on the subject as to maybe try to understand what happened. Thanks again to those who took the time to reply.

English isn't my first language so bear with me please.

Dating for 6 months but we've known each other for 5 years. We go to university together and also have a billion mutual friends.

We're both extremely busy people. That's a reality and he's not hiding another girl or a family or whatever. Like, both of us leave the house at 7 am and get back home at 12 pm ever single weekday. Also family, sports, friend obligations. We truly don't have that much free time to spend together.

I just need some more physical time rather than "social media" time, so I'd been pushing for more. Like, two times a week, maybe three in a special week, but not 24/7.

There's also this thing where he doesn't want to deal with issues until basically forced to. So a few times I brought up some things that were upsetting me and he'd just shut down and not address it or avoid it or whatever.

We discussed it a few times and seemed to reach an agreement, but then when the time came to make weekend plans he'd always say he had to do a, b, c, d, e, and then on saturday night after f, we could maybe have dinner together.

I mean, A B and C were necessary things such as replacing a car tire and some other thing about work. And D was a fixed compromise that he has every Saturday forever and ever. But still, it makes me feel like shit. I don't like it. I'll be honest. Things were going great. But I can't build a life, plans, relationship, whatever, with someone I just see 4 hours a week.

Everything came to a head last weekend after another round of the a,b,c,d, plans. I expressed my disappointment. He didn't reply. A few days later I asked if this was how this was going to be forever. I don't like to beg, but I just want to know where I'm standing. He replied with a bullshit excuse. All this while seeing his posts on social media about a,b,c, and such. It was also the anniversary of my mom's death and I was especially needing a bit of affection, and I felt lonely. A final thing pushed me over the edge and I sent a message saying this wasn't the type of relationship I needed anymore. Some sort of a break up. He left me on read, has never replied.

I feel like shit. I'm not sure whether I should have been more patient (sometimes I see people enduring things for a long time, I just can't do that). Or whether he just didn't respect me or loved me as he said. I don't know if it's pride, or not being able to talk about things.

How can you say you love someone (and I mean it, his actions showed it, mutual friends told me, everything was pointing there) and just don't say anything when confronted with a possible break up?

I've been diagnosed with GAD and my mom's 11 yr death anniversary coupled with this has sent me into overdrive. I can't calm down or think straight. I've been talking with my therapist about this everyday but I still don't understand this situation.

This got a bit long. What I wanted to ask was, do you think I should have done something differently? If so, what? Should I reach out again?

tl;dr: Ex bf was too busy to see me, I got fed up, and sorta broke up with him through text while I was having an awful day emotionally. He hasn't replied to me since. Was I wrong? Is he?

edited to fix a few typos.

Posted by b1rras | 4 May 2018 | Link