I always thought I was gay, until 2 weeks ago. I saw a picture on twitter of a hot girl, kind of weird girl who likes anime, very hot and with tons of things going. I realized that she was the best friend of my best friend's boyfriend and I told him about her.

For context, I feel I am quite attractive. I work full time day trading in the futures market, I lift since I am 13 years old so I am ripped, I dress quite good. But I am not that confident on myself and less with woman

I followed her on IG and she was immediately hooked with me. She would chat non stop and it was obvious she was into me from the first message I sent her. Even tough I never chatted with a woman before considering her as a potential sexual partner, I immediately realized that she was into me and I immediately asked her out. This was sunday and she immediately told me let's see each other saturday (the next weekend) and that she lived alone and we could go to her house after some drinks.

Conversation was great, I took it easy, I knew my text messaging game. Such as revealing but not revealing much, always being the first one to leave the conversation, etc. She was hooked. She replied back in seconds, she sent strings of messages, voice messages, pics, even double texted me. I was a bit reluctant to talk this way as I know that if you show too much they become bored, and also didnt want to burn conversation topics which were better in person.

Saturday arrives and we go to a bar have drinks. I have my game on point while drinking, asking her questions, not talking much and really hitting it off. A few hours go by and she tells me that we should go back to her place. I agreed, but I immediately lost my frame. I started behaving more nervous, I felt insecure to perform any sexual act as I was COMPLETELY new to it. I never even kissed a woman before. I felt I was attracted to her. We went to her place like 2 am, and we kept talking and talking to the point it was damn obvious I should kiss her. I feel stuck, I feel completely blocked to go for the kiss. I realized how much I was repressing in my attraction to women due to subconscious fears.

After it being wholly obvious, I told her about what was happening to me. I opened up to her and told her I have never ever been with a woman before. She took it well enough, but I knew for a fact that the dynamics of her being hooked to me were over. I gave to her all the power, I presented myself as insecure and her as my "teacher".

Finally, I went for the kiss and things become quite passionate. I loved kissing with a woman, I loved her body. I realize I am not gay at all and suddenly I start liking her. I start wanting to be with her, I got oneitis that moment and I think it was due to my inexperience with women. I usally practice TRP concepts with men I date but it beign my first experience I thought that maybe women liked that I put myself in a vulnerable open spot. But I was wrong.

In this moment, she was VERY horny. She pressured me to stay the night, but I said no. And I didnt even get undressed, she yes. Fully naked. I left her there laying in bed naked and horny and me leaving her house at 7 am as I felt it was too much for me for one night and needed more time.

Next mornign and over the week I notice her excitement for me was less. She would still chat with me, she would sent me voice notes, and be interested but not as much as before. I knew she was very likely giving me one more chance.

So I asked her out and she agreed to see each other again this saturday. I went directly to her house. I brought sushi and wine. We watched a movie. I was much more confident but my performance over the week in texting (being far more needy than before) and me opening up with my sexual issues really put me in a vulnerable spot. I thought we had a good time in her house this saturday, I fingered her and ate her pussy. She told me she liked it. But I was nervous, I couldnt get my dick up and we didnt fuck. She told me she cummed from fingering as she was telling me how to do it. I spent the night at her place and in the morning I once again opened up about my weaknesses, what I think are my bad personality traits, etc. I thought that being vulnerable she would like that, to have a deep conversation. We talked for a bit and I left like 10 am. She told me to let her know once I got home.

I arrived home and sent her that I was home. And she completely ignored the message, never replied back to it

I ask my best friend if he knew anything about what happened and he told me that she had told his boyfriend that she didnt know if she wanted to see me again. That she thought I was too needy and insecure. That sex was not the issue. And that she felt she was my psychologist.

I didnt think that was the case as to me opening up wasnt for her to solve my problems but me trying to talk something deep so she could get to know me better. But I guess I should be much colder with women as I have been with guys (which brought me much higher success than being needy and all in love with someone).

Today I sent her a message telling her that I would be around her neighborhood, and that we should grab dinner together. And she replied back very coldly with a "heyy, I can't today. I am busy".

So now, I know my chances with her are almost non existent. I will just pull back completely and stop messaging her, she might message me again if I do this but I dont keep my hopes up. I will maybe hit her up in a few months if she doesnt. But this illustrates how much I fucked it up by thinking that women liked "beta" behaviors and that they would value me opening up and being vulnerable.

I am open to advice as to the whole story. As to if there are chances of me seeing her again, about having sex with women in general, about text messaging. About everything. I would highly appreciate it.

Thanks for reading!