Nervous about a party

j-lakes · 2016-07-12T15:26:01+00:00

Assume rapport. Positive energy and emotions begets positive energy and emotion. You occupy the same space and have the same right to be there as everyone else if you were invited. All you need to do is make others comfortable in your presence. Not the other way around. And that starts with a hello and a smile. Conversation flows easily when you just talk and chitchat for the sake of chitchat and becoming familiar rather than trying to impress or be liked. Just find out as much as you can about everyone else and have fun doing it.

Feel your nervousness and reframe it as excitement. Everyone gets this feeling before a big event. Professional sports players feel the same nervousness before every game. Even LeBron James gets nervous before every tipoff. This is no different - it's excitement and readiness to perform and sow real seeds of connection and reap the rewards of friendship and interest.

Nothing can go wrong from a friendly hello, a smile, and a genuine interest in the other person and people you are partying with and a desire to share the same space comfortably, if not intimately. Everything can go wrong if you come from a place of neediness and wanting to impress, or a desire to be liked. Then there's something to lose - your face/ego - and it will only get in the way.

A few deep breath, remember what I said about genuine interest and try to have as much fun as possible. That is all.

TheAwesomeGiannis · 2016-07-12T16:12:49+00:00

I know that feeling. It's not going to go away, but I promise that you will not regret going to the party. Trust me, it will be totally worth it. Good luck, and have fun!

ECoast_Man · 2016-07-12T16:53:58+00:00

Here's a couple that I do -

1) Be positive, but don't try and dominate the conversation or be the centre of attention. Not yet anyway, if that's your thing. Just be cool, 'hey, I'm X, how you doin?' 'Right on', give firm handshakes, etc.

2) I tend to seek out gentlemen at the outset. See what the bros are like, get to know them, hang out for a bit. That's also a canary for me because of all the bros suck, then I might even bail, or attempt to just go straight for the broads. It depends how BP they are.

3) Donte drink too much, and go in with no expectations. This is an opportunity to hang out and get to know people. You're going to need practice for this anyway for work most likely...

drqxx · 2016-07-12T14:16:08+00:00

Drink a little. Maybe a glass or two. Rub one out before you go. You can keep your head straight.

Title	Nervous about a party
Author	TRP_alt_alt
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	July 12, 2016 1:53 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4sh33y/nervous_about_a_party/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/nervous-about-a-party.108242 https://theredarchive.com/post/108242

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