Ok... Back story... I was out one night over the Christmas and spotted this girl! I was attracted to her. I was baloobas having been out since 7 having had a Bacardi breezer slammer and a whiskey amongst loads beer. Didn't give a fuck and approached her... Invited myself out to roll a joint. Listening to a Phil Collins CD on her shitty player. She bailed. I ended up going to bed with her friend! Didn't remember her name next morning freaked out then left. Was in kitchen looking for clues who I was in the company. Remembered the Black haired girl was Valerie. Next thing Valerie walks in the kitchen dying. Is surprised to see me... We kinda reintroduce ourselves and ask each other what happened last night! She offered to give me a lift home.... I took a taxi.

I met them out 2 nights later and the girl i was with went home early and I went home with Valerie. We hooked up.

Started seeing each other. She gave me the impression that she really liked me. I developed oneitus.

Continued seeing each other for about 6 weeks. Then she finished it.

See me out a few weeks later. She wanted to give it another shot. but she didn't want to commit. I told her not interested. Have sex and I tell her to take time to think about it and get back to me.

She calls me that night saying she'll give it a go and that she really likes me.

I was insecure and needy and she finishes it again after about 3 weeks

But she put me through alot of shit tests

She rang me later saying I was too much and she shouldn't have got back with me in the first place.

I defriended her this time and cut contact again...

She text me about 3 weeks later... Saying to call out for wine. I was about to head out for the night and asked her if I could call out later. She said yeah.... Then she was telling me to hurry up. Then she told me and my friend to call out before coming into us.

My friend the ladies find attractive. She said it to me later while having a smoke that she thinks my friend is gorgeous! I told straight... "Do not be with him".

Sure enough my friend came over to me later saying that she tried it on with him and he got thick with her telling to get away from him...

I was like "Fuck Her. She can go fuck herself". And went on a mission to score some bird and get her out of my head! My friend had left for home.

Ended up chatting to some girl. Valerie in the meantime saw me and stood behind the girl who I was chatting up trying to get my attention and waving me to go home with her.

I looked at her and shook my head saying no.

Ended up kissing the other girl and got her number. We agreed to go for coffee next day. During the coffee, Valerie tried ringing me then sent a message saying she was really drunk last night and that she was embarrassed!

I realised I wasn't attracted to the girl I had the coffee and finished the meet. Then rang Valerie back. All she said was she was real embarrassed and ask me to apologise to my friend. I didn't mention that I know she tried it on with me friend.

I told my friend how the night went and he laughed!

So. Again I try to cut contact with her. She tried to contact me again asking me to call out. I just tell her I'm going to bed. This happened a few times.

Next thing she contacts me again at an acceptable hour. I call out. She is all touchy feely with me. We kinda make out. She starts saying to go to bed. Then decided against it and goes to make the couch for me.... I was like "fuck that" and left.

She was going on holidays with her kids later that week. I asked her before she left to talk to her and look for clarification and tell her I do not want to hear or see from her if she's not interested. She couldn't make time for me.

I asked her to get me cigarettes.

Got a text from her the following week saying she has cigarettes for me and to call out. We have wine and smoke a joint. I start look for clarification about us and intend to ask her nicely to stop asked me out if she's not interested. I told her that I knew she tried it on with my friend... That He told me straightaway that night.... That I was with another girl I an effort to get her out of my head. Then, I start thinking that this isn't too bad and was nearly contemplating conceding to the friend zone!

All of a sudden she starts saying..."oh my god.... I hate you... You did this to me before... I hate you..", "I really like you, I really really like you!". "I can't help myself.... I really like you and it's only a matter of weeks, of days even". She was referring to falling for me. This just after me nearly telling her to stop contacting me...

Next thing she was telling me to go. And basically pushed me out the back door. I drove home stoned and drunk.

So she was texting me again but no mention what was said. My head was wrecked. This was Wednesday. On Friday I get in contact with the intention of telling her to stop contacting me.

Asked her what was she at... She said she was in pub with her friend and to join them if I was at a loose end. I told her I'd pass. Was in the late bar later that night and she and her friend walk past. And they stop and talk to us. The lad I was out with spoke to her and me to her friend. They went out to the smoking area.

I went out to talk to her.... This is how it went down...

It started with small chit chat then...

Jessica: you know there's nothing going on between us? Me: Thank you... Thank you for letting me know where I stand. Jessica: I don't know how many I've to say it to you. Me: if that's the case Valerie... leave me alone. If you're not interested.... Leave me alone. Don't be sending me messages, asking to call out. If you're not interested just leave me alone. Jessica: I don't know why you're doing this Me: I'm not doing anything Valerie. You're doing it to yourself. I tried to walk away. I tried to make it easy for you and you kept getting in contact. If you're not interested leave me alone! If you don't like me, don't tell me you really really REALLY like me. I know you probably put what you said the other night down to being drunk and stoned but if you don't like me... Don't tell me that you really really like me! So if you're not interested leave me alone. Stop leading me on. Stop playing me! (At this point I really wound up!) Jessica: I'm not! Me: Yes you are! (Then I was just staring at her, she was really shocked) I'm going. Jessica: You don't have to leave! (She said this panicking) Me: Bye

That was on the Friday night. The. On the following Tuesday she sent me a message on fb asking if I was still up... I hadn't seen the message for 30 mins and just replied Ya.

That was it... Haven't heard from her since which was a year ago.

I have probably saw her out about twice since then. I noticed she either blocked me on fb or disabled her account. However, both times when she saw me her had either unblocked me or reactivated her account. I had not been crying over her facebook page. I had not looked at her page in months.

I really tried to move on from this girl but and despite my beta-ness.

At the time of seeing her, I was out of work. I had been out of work the previous three months having had to work for the biggest bitch I have ever worked for. As a result, my self esteem and my confidence took a huge hit.

She is a single mother. At the time she was 38 and I was 34. She had no time for the ex. He is abroad.

The relationship I was in before was for 3 months. I was not 100% about the girl but gave it a shot but broke it off as soon as I knew that I was not the one for her. I really hurt this girl. and felt bad but did not lead her on.

I started to swallow the redpill soon after. I soon after it finished gained a job where I deal with many responsible people and so my self esteem and confidence is lifting.

I am reading loads, started nofap with a streak of 30 days, I have lost alot of weight, have adopted IDGAF attitude and have been getting attention from People like never before.

I am feeling good about myself but I still feel shit over that girl. But one thing is for sure.... I have learnt so much from this experience. I realised that I had ZERO Game. I thought game was for PUA's but realised everybody needs to have game.

Now I would spot a shit test straightaway. I have her to thank for this. I really want to talk to her again but hold back as for one... Getting in touch out of the blue, and trying to kiss my friend showed huge disrespect to me. If it wasn't for this, I would have contacted her. and second... I'll only end up getting hurt again.

Can you give it to me straight? Did I lose frame in our last exchange?