This is a repost I found on facebook but I thought it was very well worded and very relevant.

LorainneSin · 2021-12-24T00:12:36+00:00

This is women trying to justify them using men for validation.

TrilIias · 2021-12-24T16:08:21+00:00

Okay, so where to even begin?

First, I was waiting for them to explain why they attribute this state of affairs to the patriarchy, but they don't. I mean great, you figured out that men don't feel like they can be emotionally open with their friends, and we will assume for a moment that this is a problem. Now where is the evidence that men are responsible for this? If men aren't responsible and it's just the patriarchy, then how is the patriarchy able to do this? What even is the patriarchy in this context? Is it just the social attitudes enforced by people, presumably men because otherwise why call it the patriarchy? If that's their grand theory, then I don't buy it. I think they underestimate how much effort straight men spend trying to conform to the ideals set by women.

It doesn't seem like women tend to find emotionally open men very attractive, at least not when it's real and in front of them. Maybe some female feminists genuinely think that they find emotional openness in men to be acceptable, or even an attractive trait in their male partners. My guess is that this is conditional on the guy being physically attractive, and I don't say that with judgement, it's just that physically attractive people are able to pull off things that even average looking people can't.

I'm gay, so I shouldn't have to deal with the sort of disconnect this post descries. My female friends don't worry that if they are emotionally open with me that I might misread it as them being romantically interested. However, they still treat me differently from their female friends. They're more then happy to share details about their emotional situation, but they have no interest in hearing any of mine. I used to think I was just reading too much into it, or that maybe I was just seeing something that wasn't there, but they've consistently proven my suspicions correct. Anytime I try to bring up something personal or something that I'm upset about, they change the subject, or start acting very uncomfortable.

I come across as straight, so I also know how women treat straight men, and it is much more reserved. Some women will barely talk to me until the very minute I come out to them. So I guess this post gets some things right, but gets the important stuff wrong. It seems to be true that women are worried about straight men taking emotional openness the wrong way, but even when that isn't the concern and women feel free to express their emotions to men, they still don't want men to do the same. This isn't an issue caused my men screwing up the dynamic between straight men and straight women. Straight men aren't misreading the situation when they think they shouldn't be emotionally open with someone besides their romantic partner. That really is the position straight men find themselves in, and that seems to be largely because of what women want (though I must stress that I don't blame women for that).

Secondly, I could swear I had seen research that found that men were more likely to find emotional support from their male friends than their female partners, which just kinda throws a wrench in the entire premise of this post.

Third, the Honey Badgers have talked a lot about men's mental health, and I'm not sure I buy that women's way of managing their mental health are healthier than men's. I think women's methods are more tailored to women, and men's methods are more tailored to men. Men and women are biologically different to an extent that I don't think you can treat men like defective women.

Fourth, I really don't think this is the key to the "crisis of masculinity," as so many people I disagree with like to frame it. Very often, feminists try to argue that men don't really have any issues, but they're struggling because of ToXiC mAsCuLiNiTy and because they hold in their emotions, and they should really just stop it and all of men's problems will go away. Its a red herring, and even just incorrect.

HumbleGaijin · 2021-12-24T01:09:21+00:00

I agree.

People need to change.

Men and women.

Bara-enthusiast · 2021-12-24T15:44:47+00:00

I am sorry but tumblr screenshots in reddit are loser behavior,

While reddit screenshots in reddit are meta textual callbacks.

It's how it works.

You've committed loser behavior Kekw

Admirable-Device-541 · 2021-12-24T00:46:44+00:00

Ive been saying this forever but have been getting downvoted and told im co dependant. Now i beleieve it and dont even think its wrong yet im being told its a bad thing and i should do therapy and work on myself when im happy i have hobbies im just lonely and sad and i never had a mom to fucking care for me so the next best think is a emotioanally supportive wife

Title	This is a repost I found on facebook but I thought it was very well worded and very relevant.
Author	Adventurous_Health93
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	December 23, 2021 8:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rn4vng/this_is_a_repost_i_found_on_facebook_but_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-is-a-repost-i-found-on-facebook-but-i-thought.1090968 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090968

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