On the topic of number of sexual partners

[deleted] · 2016-07-31T23:02:19+00:00

It matters if you see them as a potential LTR. Slutty women make poor decisions and poor partners.

I only care when it is not a questionable case. For instance, a 30 year old with 10 partners (actual number) isn't a big deal to me. A 30 year old with 60 partners? They've jumped into "definite slut" category and you don't even have to ponder it. That's a no go.

Also, unless a girl has an actual low count or is particularly brazen/feminist/sex positive, then ordinarily you will never get the real number. The only way to get close to it is to act very nonjudgmental and pay close attention to what is said and is not and look for behavioral and other clues.

For instance, does she crave male attention and has "holes" in her back story or long stretches where she was supposedly single or dating casually? If so, then she was getting railed a lot. Also, how long until she has sex with you and is she really good and considers it not a big deal and being naked around a guy is very natural?

Things like that. There are huge posts on this here and elsewhere and it also takes experience and time. Further, you "positive" hits (you decide she is a slut) is much more reliable than you negatives. I've never thought a girl was likely a slut currently or in the past and been wrong (as far as I know).

With this girl, unless she cheated or was having sex very young (both red flags if true), then she slept with 11 guys from age 19 to 20. That's a lot and above average. She either really likes casual sex or was trying to lock down guy with sex and getting pumped and dumped. I think you would be foolish to take her seriously.

Edit: I agree with the previous comment from Vas that male and female partner counts are not comparable. First, sex is easy for women to attain. Also, men with high n-counts are not damaged goods like their female counterparts. Lastly, it is fine to have a preference. I am taller than average but I do not like women my height. Am I a hypocrite because of this?

[deleted] · 2016-07-31T18:34:17+00:00

Why care how many dudes a plate has been with? Are you committing to her? No?

demilitarizdsm · 2016-07-31T20:57:15+00:00

There is an intelligence at work, embedded in evolution, that is far more advanced than your ability to rationalize sometimes. As a man you are much more capable of accessing it, and not getting it confused with emotional instability as a woman is likely to. It is the intelligence of evolutionary pressure and where it meets instinct. If you have a good understanding of evolution, and read Gladwell's "Blink", where he puts a big value on instant gut responses, you can appreciate why you feel it in your core right away you don't want to fuck a slut. But you also have to accept that you are looking at every girl as a child rearing mate to trigger this cautionary response, which is very much a product of your conditioning and your fault. It could save you ass, it could be getting in the way of you getting more lays. Deal with it accordingly.

[deleted] · 2016-07-31T17:53:34+00:00

Unless i'm having kids with this girl, I don't really care.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-07-31T19:01:03+00:00

I mean I realise that when I have slept with 15 girls, it is selfish to expect a girl you are seeing to have been with less than 5

Why not? Men and women are not "identical" they are "complementary". How many women a man has slept with and how many men a woman has slept with have no bearing or relationship on each other. To think that they do is a "false equality".

Men can sleep with many women without becoming emotionally damaged or broken....we would never, as an example, ever talk about a man with the "Thousand Cunt Stare". Such a man might be an exemplary husband and father. OTOH, you can't make a whore into a housewife.

Thus, I require fidelity of my plates; they're happier that way. Their N-count remains stable, they don't get fucked in the head over some other guy, and, more importantly, they don't bring me home the gift that keeps on giving, until you give it penicillin.

awalt_cupcake · 2016-07-31T20:53:51+00:00

Women are going to have more sexual partners because they have the pussies. It's what everyone wants.

Unless you're looking for an LTR or to settle down and raise a family, don't care about it.

the_red_monk · 2016-07-31T23:49:57+00:00

It used to matter. Then I killed the inner beta and I no longer care. N-count is just a way to differentiate between plate or LTR potential.

jeezydasnowman · 2016-07-31T19:38:35+00:00

Why would something like that bother you? It comes down to ngaf and being present. Rsd Tyler has a great video on this - Google "on putz shaming and slut shaming"

Title	On the topic of number of sexual partners
Author	fixzzz123
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	July 31, 2016 5:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4vi3pt/on_the_topic_of_number_of_sexual_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/on-the-topic-of-number-of-sexual-partners.109117 https://theredarchive.com/post/109117

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