I got completely flamed posting this in AITA.

Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship. However, one of the boundaries I set (for both of us) early on, is that communication with members of the opposite sex that we have a sexual history with is not okay… under any circumstances. That seems like a reasonable, non-controlling boundary for both parties to follow.

Around 4 months after we became exclusive, one of her old FWB’s reached out via text to her. We’ll call him Jared. Apparently they had a falling out before I met her, and weren’t talking for some time. Jared basically said how he was happy to see my gf happy with her new boyfriend and is sorry for their friendship going downhill.

Cool. She let me know of this right away, and I told her it was nice of him to lead that way, but him attempting to rekindle that friendship breaks my original boundary, and communication needs to be kept to a minimum. After all, I blocked all of my old fuck buddies before agreeing to become exclusive with her so surely she can return some of that respect.

Around 2 months after that, Jared reaches out again via text and invites her to a kickback (basically a small gathering of friends). She also let me know of this right away, and I appreciated that. However, she asked me if I’d be okay with her attending said kickback. At that point I became weirded out - it was almost as if she was slowly starting to erase the lines of my boundaries.

I told her in a calm, but stern voice, I am not at all okay with her attending that kickback. I also told her that continuing communication with him will seriously put our relationship in jeopardy, and I don’t care if they say hi in passing (they both go to the same college and live on the same floor), but reciprocating his texts/advances is a no no. She became visibly distressed, not because she was pushing to hangout with Jared, but because she was worried she had made a mistake by responding to him at all. However, she did oblige and said she simply won’t respond to him anymore.

Was I being a controlling asshole here?