I've known her for about a year but as of the last month she started texting me every day and shows up to some events I go to. She's dating a dude for a couple years, maybe high school sweetheart or bf from college but it's not long distance.

Should I escalate next time I see her? What's holding me back is we have mutual friends and if she pulls away she'll start gossiping I was aggressive or hit on her even though she has a boyfriend bla bla (give me a bad name to other people I know)

Another similar scenario - a lady friend who promotes for a place I kind of work at came over one night this week. She was giving a lot of IOIs (touching my arm, resting her head on me) but I just don't have a desire to escalate with these women. I'd fuck a random girl anyday but I feel weird hooking up with a friend of a friend, someone I see often in friend groups or in the second scenario - someone who I work with sometimes.

Am I a whiny beta or (overly) selective with who I make moves on?