What do girls think of guys with mental illness?

TryingToLearn_17382 · 2022-03-01T20:00:09+00:00

Read it all, please!

Hey, brother. I'm going straight to the point: Do not date in such a state, and do not focus on what women think about you as of now. Don't fall in the trap of thinking a woman will magically fix every problem in your life. Maybe yes, maybe not. First, you have to better yourself. You said you're a bit skinny, and have mental health problems. Let me tell you, a relationship is probably not going to fix that, especially if it's a Tinder or such one. My advice: work on yourself (cliche is cliche for a reason), via breath work, exercise and such. Not saying it's necessarily the case for you, but so many people have shared that lifting weights or calisthenics has completely fixed their mental health. Why do you feel the need to be in a relationship right now? Can you wait, all in the while LOVING yourself and the world?

Ralkan28 · 2022-03-01T04:39:12+00:00

Not a deal breaker just got to know the game. Find the ones who think its a cute quirk and ignore the haters. Doesnt matter what the problem is you may have the rule stays the same. Dont waste time on haters, self confidence is an attractive trait on its own (just not an overbearing chad douche)

Dr_Frasier_Bane · 2022-03-01T16:15:32+00:00

You mean she'll have to put in emotional work and care for someone else? Ha, good luck.

LettuceBeGrateful · 2022-03-01T11:07:08+00:00

When I was in support groups, it was pretty common that almost every woman had a significant other, while the guys were almost entirely single. Men are definitely expected to be stoic, and unfortunately a lot of people see mental illness as a flaw. Women are generally afforded much more leeway when it comes to vulnerability in relationships. Dating these days is a total shitshow for men in general. I'm not trying to say "suck it up," but unfortunately at a certain point we do need to be willing to dive into the deep end to find relationships. It absolutely sucks and I wish more people had empathy for us around this, but it's one of those things that probably won't change much in our lifetime.

Regarding finding a partner, I'm in a much better place now mentally...but I still would not want to date a woman who had a blanket ban on men with mental illness. Tons of people have mental illness, from mild anxiety all the way to personality disorders and severe depression. It takes a distinct lack of empathy to summarily reject a man merely because he has problems, instead of checking whether he is taking responsibility for them. (That's why I broke up with my last gf, by the way. Her anxiety was not a problem - her refusal to be an adult about it was.)

Also, a lot of the people who advise avoiding partners with mental issues (cough cough FDS) have their own unaddressed mental issues that you could spot from space.

I'm sure it's easier to give this advice at 30 than to receive it at 20, but the bottom line is that for your sake, you probably don't want to be anywhere near the women who have toxic views about male vulnerability.

Al_Modir · 2022-03-01T06:36:13+00:00

They will constantly tell you shit like “see a therapist” and disassociate with you thinking any act of showing compassion or talking to you is a form of “emotional labour” (people who never actually perform any labour love using that term) that they shouldn’t have to be performing without getting paid while thinking it’s perfectly normal for you to care about them and want to become involved with them when they show you that they cut themselves.

BrokenDeity1 · 2022-03-01T22:55:25+00:00

It's a status symbol for women.

For men it's a dangerous flaw that has to be hidden or played down.

No_Fap_is_My_Life · 2022-03-01T05:47:14+00:00

Yes in fact it's easier for women, I am a man who is suffering from mental illness too, no one gives a fuck about me...

But I started to put in the efforts, studying more, indulging in more fitness, good diet, good grooming... and things since few past months, although haven't been great, but still a LOT better than the previous 13 years of my life (I am 17 btw)

All the best for you as well :)

Kindly-Town · 2022-03-01T09:07:39+00:00

Those guys are invisible to most people.

EsraYmssik · 2022-03-01T10:38:45+00:00

Simple answer. They don't.

Greg_W_Allan · 2022-03-02T03:01:54+00:00

Work out your own goals and focus completely on them. The women folk will be getting their nails done near the finish line.

Haurangi3 · 2022-03-02T09:33:43+00:00

Quirky females are the only ones that do it for me in all honesty. Intelligence and quirkiness are a big turn on.

FatherOfLights88 · 2022-03-01T07:03:16+00:00

Move slowly, which can help ensure that your "blind spots" aren't being taken advantage of or used against you.

nevermock · 2022-03-01T17:27:22+00:00

They call them alpha males.

Title	What do girls think of guys with mental illness?
Author	Zubbo64
Upvotes	26
Comments	20
Date	March 1, 2022 4:37 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/t3zfvj/what_do_girls_think_of_guys_with_mental_illness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-do-girls-think-of-guys-with-mental-illness.1104739 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104739

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