I keep seeing arguments about what is or isn't masculinity, toxic masculinity, masculinity traits/behaviors, etc. So what the hell is it that really defines male traits as opposed to female ones? What defines a healthy, well-adjusted man? Here's my take:

I'll start with the physical, biological differences. We're typically larger, stronger, and more resilient. This isn't a slight on anyone, it's a statistical fact. With that in mind, a proper man doesn't abuse this. Intimidation, screaming, threats, etc. are not healthy behaviors. Like any healthy adult, there's no need to throw your perceived advantage in other people's faces. Be strong, be powerful, and be gentle.

Mentally it's a minefield, but I'll try anyways. I don't think men should show different emotions than women. r/happycryingdads is a great example of how men being emotional can be completely healthy. That said, we also get angry and are told to suppress it. Not manage it, despite the class name, but suppress it and ignore it. That's wrong, we need healthy outlets for that emotion. Physical activity is great, but have you ever been in a sound-proof room and just let it out screaming into the void? Or God forbid, had a cathartic rant against the person who had it coming? That's healthy and directed, that's not an out of control animal causing harm. The more we show healthy and deserved ways of doing this, the more we can avoid the toxic cases. Usually it's only toxic because it built up for too long.

And finally socially... We are competitive, it's just a fact. So engage in healthy competition. Your opponent forces you to be the best you can so you should respect his efforts. You don't have to like him and be friends, but anyone who tried to better themselves or who becomes a master of their craft is worth respecting. Working together and supporting each other shouldn't be so damn difficult. I had a friend/coworker go through a rough breakup some years back, the usual insults and destroying his self-worth of course. I told him every day that he's a good person and goddammit he's good looking. He laughed it off at the time, but later on he said it really helped when he was feeling low.