[repost] On "shitting where you eat" and the value of multiple social circles

This is from a few months ago on TRP. If I recall correctly, I was responding to IllimitableMan, but I could be wrong.

I edited the initial post with some more material.

IllimitableMan Whereas if you don't shit where you eat and the plate crashes, who gives a fuck? No consequences.

True, but also consider that if the guy has solid game, this changes. At the same time, if he gets people to believe that what he's doing is completely normal and acceptable, then no problem. He gets them to believe that by being a guy who they really want to have around, and then doing as he pleases.

If he is perceived as "very hard to replace", him banging the girls in the group, and girls who people know there becomes a non issue. The key is to be more important than the rest. To the point even if a girl starts bitching, it's an after thought, because hey, HE provides MORE value, and everybody believes that.

I haven't quite figured out how to do that yet...most of the new people I meet when I go out, I never see them again. I would GUESS that being the guy who's always inviting them out (create the illusion that something is already going on and you're giving them the chance to join, as opposed to just asking them to go out), at least at the start, would be a good first step. That and throwing parties. Preferably with girls. On that note, I am thinking that those girls could be girls I number closed but seem like they would flake for a date. So, instead, I bring them out with a bunch of other people, and worse case scenario: I increase my value and start building a social group. Best case: I re-ignite a lead that was going nowhere.

Having multiple groups of friends helps. You don't become too invested in them, and when/if things get too messy, which is very likely (because girls = crazy town banana pants), you can just ditch them for a while. Just completely cut contact, and occasionally respond politely. You appear busier than you are while also not making them know you've ditched them. This way, if things sort themselves out (drama wise), you can use that group again.

And the more "status" you have, as in popularity (good example here would be SRP's FRs where you see that he knows many of the bar staff and regulars), girls will actually want others to find out you've fucked them. You don't wanna be the guy that they never ever mention. Or "that creep". And this success can probably compound. (haven't tested this, but hope to soon)

I read a few things about preselection, but have only experienced its effect recently. It's insane how much "warmer" girls you don't know can be if you're at a house party as opposed to a bar, are already with hot girls, or seem to be respected and/or well liked in your group.

For example, I cold approached a cute chick at a bar a month or so ago, got her to buy me a beer, and we started talking. Hot chick walks in, I steal her beanie, and mess around with her a little. She plays along, and the girl I'm with gets a little jealous and tries to give it back to her. Eventually, I give it back. I planned on getting back to her, but I didn't find her after. Another girl walks past us, and I grab her hand, and pull her towards me. I am quite new at this, and wasn't sure what else to say. I just pulled her because I could. She's very receptive. I tell her I like her piercing (I didn't, but whatever) and I think I playfully tap her nose or something and tell her I'll find her later. The girl playfully protests and inquires if I'm always hitting on all the girls in the bar.

So this does three things: by being with the 1st girl, it is easier to access other girls; I also show all girls involved that I'm "fun"; I have options, and the girl knows if she starts bitching, I can easily go to those girls or any other girl I want. Even if for whatever reason I could not...for e.g...no other hot girls here or the two initial girls have bfs or whatever.

Another recent example at a house party. I walk in and immediately see some people I know. I'm joking around with a few guys, and a bitch with a fedora walks in. I steal her hat, and wear it. She spots me when she's at the bar and goes "heyyyy", but I was talking to a friend, so I ignore her. A few minutes later, I go to get a drink and a cute girl is getting one as well. I pour her some whisky. She complains that it's not enough. Put some more. She wants to mix. I say no, and start saying "go go go go go! do it do it do it!" like a douche (picked that up from RSDJulien) and she downs it. High five. I grab her cup, pick up a marker, and right "SLUT" on her cup. She loves it. Now, if I hadn't stolen the first chick's hat, ignored her, and had been standing awkwardly the whole time...it would have been much harder to get this comfortable with this girl. It was a small room, and I'm pretty tall guy, so I'm pretty sure she noticed what I did.

Anyway...

In the context of college, it's fine even if the girls are in your major/class. It matters even less if you go to a big state school and/or are in a major/class with lots of people.

In the workplace, I can imagine how messy "shitting where you eat would get" would get. There's usually less people, and even if the girls are in a whole other department, HR can still hunt you down, and I would guess that this will haunt your ass for a few years.

And as for friends, I don't think you really don't need more than a handful of very close ones. Friends who you know have got your back. You keep those guys close. The rest are nowhere near as important.

So I'm going to keep working on building and/or getting into a few social circles and getting some bangs out of that. While cold approaching at night is fun, I've noticed that most of the hotter college girls in my area tend to stick to house parties and occasionally go out with groups of friends. They also go out on one or two weekdays (some kind of student night) in which I'm not free. On Fridays and Saturdays, the available talent isn't as great as it could be.

I'll also try to experiment with the "invite girls who aren't as likely to hook to bigger parties" thing. It might backfire completely...I guess I'll find out.