So I’m a 25F and I have never been on a date/relationship due to my anxiety and self consciousness. Being Asian and born here in the U.S. with immigrant parents is hard b/c I’ve always “followed” the rules. It’s just me and my brother in which we are complete opposites. Growing up he would rebel as a teen, I was always the responsible child and till this day now he still smokes weed, living the party lifestyle and gets in trouble. My parents always had a traditional way of thinking which is “boys will be boys” attitude girls have to set the high standards and expectations. I did the typical route where I focus on school and just recently graduated. I transferred colleges before the pandemic hit and “left the nest” did the whole college experience until I decided I was overwhelmed with school and working two jobs to pay rent with a group of girls in a loft at that time and just needed to go back home and save money. During my time living away from my family, I still couldn’t quite let myself go if that makes sense… there are many times where I had a chance to meet a cute guy and hook up with him but I always held back since I am still a virgin and had my first kiss at 18 at a frat party. Fast forward now, ever since I moved back home I’ve been feeling lost. (Experiencing a quarter life crisis basically). Now I’ve gotten to the age where my parents are asking me why I haven’t gotten a boyfriend even though throughout my whole life I was expected to “obey the rules”.. in which my anxiety and depression was just resentment and frustration. It’s hard to date when you’re 25, still a virgin and have opportunities to go out and date. Mind you I’ve been on all dating apps and still hate the “talking phase”. I remember ever since I hit puberty, I’ve always were and still attracted to older guys, like 10-20 years…I was always shy to admit this with my friends/family bc it was “forbidden”, or was afraid if they found out there would be something wrong with me like having “daddy issues” i didn’t want to be a damsel in distress or like a 50 shades of grey type deal, understanding how older men and younger woman is a slippery situation. Anyways now that I am “of age” I still feel so innocent yet I am hungry to be attracted to a handsome older man wanting for him to teach me about life and just save me from all this frustration and resentment, to feel sexy and confident..an alpha woman. This is already too long…but would love anyone to share thoughts/give advice