Howdy fellas!

kenbrucedmr · 2022-08-25T23:53:40+00:00

Hey man,

Well, you are, at least not alone. Unfortunately, this kind of situation seems not to be uncommon, and you see many fathers "bleeded out" by the system.

If you think you don't deserve your girlfriend, she clearly disagrees. If she has been willing to compromise her own financial situation, it does not only mean that she is a admirable person, with empathy and compassion, but also that she sees something in you, that you don't. She sees that you are worth it.

I do not think it's true that you don't deserve anything. Clearly there is a part of society who thinks so, not only of you, mind you. But there are many people, like your girlfriend and us, who think you are not only worthy because of what you can "provide" or "produce", but inherently, as a unique person, with a unique perspective on things, and with the potential to be happy. Independently of arbitrary standards of "success" or whatever.

Please get help, man. You deserve it, you really do.

FatherOfLights88 · 2022-08-26T05:22:14+00:00

I want to plant one little idea into the storm inside your head.

If you end your life now, you'll never get the opportunity to show your girlfriend how grateful you are that she cared enough to drain her savings to support you through this hardship.

You've gone from a woman who is sucking the life out of you, to one who is trying to put life into you. No matter how bleak things feel, this is a gift.

Forget about the money for a minute...

What do you think will be the psychological and emotional impact on this young woman having to come to terms with your suicide?

You said so yourself that she deserves better. Is dealing the the trauma of losing someone she cares about your idea of giving her 'better'? Is this you leaving her better than you found her? Or, is this you hurting her in a way that you'll never be able to fix, leaving her next man to have to help her through this pain.

And then there's that little chunkster of yours.

I'm going to come out and say it that your baby's mother sucks, and not in a good way. Are you seriously going to leave that child to the harsh elements of that person as their parent? Or, are you going to figure out how to pull yourself together so that you can become the kind of dad who will eventually be able to fight and win the custody of YOUR son and be the parent he deserves?

You're not going anywhere anytime soon.

It's OK to feel like you want to die. It's even OK to write the letter. I'd like for you to read it to yourself as if it were your girlfriend reading it after your passing, or your child reading it years later.

I want you to see your pain and despair from an outside perspective and know that it's OK to feel this way. Then, put yourself in the position of knowing that someone you love is about to kill themselves. Empathize with yourself as much as you would that person.

Let your pain come up so you can see it for what it is and then give it... and yourself, the love that it deserves. The love that YOU deserve. You know the love is in there. It's time to stop hiding from it and let it out.

Take care of yourself. A lot is changing, and things will be getting better.

Title	Howdy fellas!
Author	Far-Introduction650
Upvotes	11
Comments	2
Date	August 25, 2022 5:52 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/wxkrjm/howdy_fellas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/howdy-fellas.1129362 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129362

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