I am 25y 5'11"225lbs. At 250lbs I decided to make a change. This was prompted by my hooking up with a solid 3 while hammered and realizing I probably wouldn't have been able to get it up if I had been sober. I am pretty ashamed about getting with a full on swamp donkey, but it made me realize (which I should have realized much, much sooner) that I could not get the girls that I wanted because of my weight.

This had also subconsciously affected my decisions and attitude. I was allowing people tow walk all over me and I was deferring on business decisions to my subordinates most days. I had turned into a pushover. I guess I just didn't want to make my own decisions, so I could avoid the conflict of defending them.

I also made significant mistakes with women as well. An attractive girl was actually interested in me. I ruined that chance by over analyzing what I was saying and doing. I was desperate and it showed. I don't even think I processed that until after as well.

I feel a lot of shame for letting myself get to that point, so I am trying to make a change. I started calorie counting on my fitness pal, and have lost 30lbs. I still feel like I am making decisions to avoid conflict. I also am still figuring out how to get the women I want, but am still overweight and awful with women. Realistically, I have no idea where to start. I want to change and that's why I am here asking for help.

If anyone has any ideas on direction or guidance, I am all ears. Where do I start?