Just venting here and feeling foolish, someone can smack some sense into me, or tell me I'm just another foolish romantic that messed up a little. And it's helpful to dump sometimes to anonymous internet strangers.

An old friend I almost had a fling with many years ago - when my stbxw and I were dating - said she's coming to town soon and would (innocently) love to see me. She's made her interest clear sporadically over the years, and I've always kept her at arms length, being the faithful husband I am/was, however tempted.

I hinted that I was single again, she asked for details, and I think I spilled too much. Not about the breakup or anything, but basically I was really psyched that after all these years we could finally see if a relationship of whatever kind would work for us. I included the caveats of not knowing her situation, not wanting to pressure, that it's been a long time, and all that ... but still. I didn't play it cool, I think I still did all that. I laid it on way too thick I think. I should have waited until I saw her in person, and proceeded carefully. I feel terrible about it.

So, no response yet.

I don't think I'm ready, I should have waited. I'm fantasizing about the idea of her, not the reality. But goddamn I'd love to see her regardless.