A while back my friend Joe had a sort of on again off again gf from the state he was from. We worked together on my college campus and he wanted to give it another go with this woman. So he drove to the state she lived, picked her up, and brought her over to the city we lived in.

She seemed ok at first, but the circumstances were kind of weird. For example instead of dropping her off at his house right away, she slept in his van at the campus while we were working and doing classes that day. Anyway I met her and even helped her move some of her stuff into Joe's place later on. They seemed into each other. Fast forward a few days and she is at a party with a bunch of people we worked with or knew from school and she was being a bit rude to some of the other women there for no reason at all, while also sort of putting Joe down when he was not around or making jokes that could have been seen as degrading about Joe around other women.

I have seen these kind of red flags before, but did not want to say anything at the time. Fast forward two weeks and Joe asks if she can stay at my place while he is out of town for a day. I found this kind of weird, but just shrugged it off and thought maybe she was scared to be alone in a house in a sort of bad part of the city that she was not familiar with. That night we hanged out and played some video games she was chill. The next day two freaking detectives show up at my door in the morning asking if she is there. I tell them yes and wake her up. I was in the middle of getting ready to head off to work so I just let them talk in my living room while I showered and everything.

I asked what it was about, and apparently her family did not like Joe so she did not even tell them she was leaving with Joe or going anywhere. She just packed her bags and left. Keep in mind she was 24 at the time, and living with her parents. So they were obviously worried. The detectives left, she was fine. They just wanted to make sure they knew where she was and that she was ok. She completely brushed it off as if it was no big deal, but I was pretty shocked to say the least to answer the door to two freaking detectives in the morning asking about my 1 night guest.

Fast forward a week, and Joe does not show up for work for two days and nobody can get ahold of him. He also did not show up for classes. Turns out, he was in jail for those two days. Here is what happened.

The girl and Joe's on again off again relationship was basically because they were sort of high school sweethearts but she had some personality disorder stuff going on. Narcissism bi-polar, serious possessiveness and jealousy issues the usual. The reason Joe did not want him staying at his place for too long without him, like when she spent the first day sleeping in his van while we worked and went to school, and he had her stay at my place while he was out of town was because she actually literally cleaned him out before.

In the past, he left her at his place over the weekend and she stole and sold all of his stuff in his house, including the furniture and kitchen appliances then broke up with him. Well, the two days he was in jail, it was because she called the cops and said he hit her. He says he did not, and I believe him. I have seen Joe get flat punched in the face by a woman once and he just turned around and walked away.

While he was in jail those two days she cleaned him out AGAIN. Sold everything including his college textbooks and equipment. The day she stayed at my house apparently one of his hometown friends said the cops were looking for him because the girl was missing. He wanted to take a bit of time tomake sure she did not try to say he kidnapped her as some sort of abusive trick to hurt him and steal his stuff apparently lol

Funnily enough during those two days he was gone, she actually wanted to go to the bar with some of us, so we did and we asked where Joe was, but she said she had not heard from him but he said he had some stuff to do and she was bored. Until this point Joe was paying for everything for her from food to drinks, clothes, etc. This night though she was flush with cash.

Joe filed a police report, and actually tried to file a report against her for abusing him the night he was arrested because apparently she started throwing stuff at him and accusing him of cheating on her with one of our mutual female friends (he didn't) and then she called the cops and said he was throwing her around and threatening to kill her. The police reports Joe filed of course never went anywhere and he had to start from scratch after having almost all of his possessions stolen including the books he needed for school. He was so broke he actually had to move into my friend Mark's basement for free for a few months before he could get back on his feet and find a place.