Let's start with the beginning . Don't want a pity party but my life was kind of shit . My father is an alcoholic my mother is a bitchy , violent control freak . I was born in a lower-middle class eastern european family my mother was a factory worker and my father a former firefighter turned gas station clerk . Most of my early childhood my family was in crippling debt due to my father's alcoholism. My mother was carrying but a total bitch when she was angry at something . All my life I've been told how much a burden I am , how dumb , how "bad" , how I'm a parasite . I used to get beaten b her for the most minial shit imaginable . My father never really cared about me , the only father-son moments we got were the days in which we'd watch historical documentaries on TV . The moment that hurt me the most is the fact that he never thought me how to shave but he did teach older cousin . When I was 12 my mother left me to work in Italy as a caretaker . I see her once every 1.5-2 years (freedom feels good man ) I slowly became the man of the house , all the bills , the debt , the house fell on my hands and it was crushing to me . My social life was and still is kindda shit . I was autistic as fuck when I was young . I'd pinch a chick , or touch her , like every other dude did (back when we were horny 12 yo ) but I always got rejected , the other guys got lucky sometimes but not me . This crushed my self esteem and in time I became a dorm mat . I'd go to shop for people , do their homework ( no , not help them do it actually doing it for them ) . This carried with me to Highschool . There I met the thing that put an end to whatever was left of my self-esteem . This short , skinny , emo-ish girl that cought a liking to me for some reason , always coming to me for advice . We became best friends ( AKA she'd bitch about dumb shit that annoyed her and I'd listen and give advice ) . This caught up to people , that's when I became everybody's confident , the guy you come to when you need advice when you're in a dire place . So I stood , there , knowing most everyone's darkest deepest secrets . Never had much succes with girls because of that > I'm always " The brother " , " The father figure " , "the best friend " , the best psychologist " never a lover . Lately I had enough of this , the straw that broke the camel's back was when I was asked by the chick I loved ( The skinny emo chick ) To help her with an essay for the English course . I complied an wrote her this two page manifesto about how malware works and why it's bad . " Seen at 13:54 , active three hours ago " NOT .EVEN . A . FUCKING . THANK . YOU. How do I uncuck myself ?

TL;DR Everyone treats me like a dorm mat and I just can't go on like this .