On Wednesday 1st February I was called into the office at work to be told that a grievance has been raised against me by a female member of staff.
The allegations were that I had to said to her “have you ever got a random boner? And that I tapped her on the shoulder (twice), once more after asking if she is okay?
When the manager asked me if this was true, I said “yes” - but explained there is a bigger story and context to it all.
What they didn’t know is that the girl in question had, only 5/10 minutes before asked me if I watch Porn and when I replied “No”, commented on the fact that she does and is probably addicted to it / needs to stop.
I stressed to them that I did not initiate the sexual conversation with her and that it was said in a humorous way / in context to what she had said - and was not reflective of how I felt at all.
I also supplied screenshot evidence that this girl has been asking me out and of my rejection to her in which I said I was not looking for anything, serious or casual.
The girl has said to me in the past “you never like my Instagram posts” / “you’ve ignored me today” / “when are you going to ask me out on a date?” And has asked me out about three / four times, in which I have rejected all fronts.
I also commented on the fact that, on the day these incidents occurred, I approached her and said “hello”. To which she replied, “don’t talk to me” with a stern expression. When I asked her what’s up, she said “you rejected me. Don’t talk to me”.
This conversation preceded her then talking to me about her porn problems and, five / 10 minutes later, me asking her “have you ever got a random boner?”
I also stressed that I had went to see if she was okay, and had touched her shoulder (from the front) to which she replied “don’t touch me” - in the exact same manner as when, earlier in the day, she said “don’t talk to me” - hence why I thought she was joking and touched her on the shoulder again, a second time. This is why I believed she was joking initially when I had touched her, in a friendly way, on her shoulder.
As I walked away, now surprised, she called me back and said “Even though I know you were joking, I can still report you”.
This is when I dropped all further communication with her.
At the Christmas party, she approached me and called me an ‘incel’ - to which I have a witness. I then, with a witness beside me, approached her and calmly said: “____ You’re drunk, I’m sober. Please don’t say anything that you’ll regret as we have to work together and we’re still in work”.
I also stressed that this wasn’t said as a threat (and that I made sure to have a witness and for it to be in front of the CCTV camera)
Significantly enough, in her statement she herself said “I know ___ was joking” with her statements and mine being pretty identical - minus the fact that she didn’t mention her initiation of the sexual conversation / porn addiction comment.
The investigating manager thanked me for ‘my honesty’ and said I answered questions before she even asked them - and that I filled in all the holes. Not sure what this means.
Anyway…
I haven’t had any further communication with the individual and do not engage with her despite the slander I hear on my name and the attitude that I’m dealt with now amongst my peers who believe I’m a ‘sexual harasser’.
In November, three days after this incident occurred, I had actually asked to speak to one of the managers (with my concerns) and I detailed everything that I had said to this manager, with this one too.
At the end of it, this manager said “____ it sounds like tit for tat and if anything, you can turn around and say hang on ___, you’ve been harassing me!”
I’m a friendly person and my intentions were not sexual by any means.
I would like to know what is the likelihood of the case and what I can do.
The manager of this formal, investigation concluded by asking me “Why I believe she would make these allegations?”
I said that I think she is bitter, vengeful and wants to destroy my reputation.
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