acknowledging my ignorance as a feminine woman in the modern dating world

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-02-20T13:41:29+00:00

When I was 23, I ended a five year relationship that very nearly ruined my life. I was massively overweight, drank a lot, didn't know how to dress or apply makeup. I'd spent five years with the only man I'd ever even kissed, so forget about poise in dating.

Over the next couple of years, I changed everything about myself. I lost over a hundred pounds, stopped drinking, started working out all the time, began wearing dresses, watched some YouTube tutorials on makeup, and styled my hair. After five years with a psychopath, the last thing I wanted was a relationship right then. I wasn't doing it for anyone else. I was doing it for me. I wanted to feel good physically, emotionally, even spiritually.

For self-improvement to be genuine, it has to be done for you, no one else. If you're pretending to be someone else's ideal, the effects will eventually wear off. That's why we see so many women letting themselves go after marriage and kids. Their only motivation to be attractive is to land a man. Once that's done, they no longer feel the need to work at it.

All that to say, be yourself. It's a cliche for a reason and that's because pretending to be someone else is exhausting. Take this time to find out who you are, your hobbies and personal style, how you like to present yourself. In the end, you might attract fewer men, but they'll be men who appreciate what you actually have to offer and your relationships will be more successful.

mistressusa · 2023-02-20T18:03:56+00:00

" my country where the men value women that are bigger, more promiscuous, loud and aggressive bla bla bla."

What country is that? I am an extremely well travelled person who has lived in the continents of Asia, Latin America, Africa, Europe and North America and I can't think of one country like the one you describe.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-02-20T13:48:42+00:00

Truth is despite having what I believe to be massive flaws...

What specific “massive flaws” do you think you have?

in my country where the men value women that are bigger, more promiscuous, loud and aggressive bla bla bla.

Lulz. What country is this, Feminist Delusion-Land? Look, while there may be some cultural differences, the species is the same all over the planet. I doubt - very much - that no man wherever you are likes Loud, Opinionated Sluts more than trad women.

While I'm very small, feminine, slim, quiet and more conservative and very traditional. Majority of guys are going to look past me, they won't even approach me because I'm seen as very innocent and virginal (if that's a word).

Oh, NOES! A slim, quiet trad girl! Quick! Get a crucifix, some garlic and a nice, sharp wooden stake! Keep her away from meeeee!

So the only thing I can think of is that you have rampant hypergamy and are shopping out of your price range, or you sit at home hoping that your trad boy will find you using only the power of his mind.

Are there any older women who are similar to you that you can model yourself on, or ask for advice? Based on the I for you have given, that’s the advice I’ve got. Good luck.

FR33DOM_over_F33R · 2023-02-20T16:23:35+00:00

Kudos to your personal accountability and knowledgeable insights!

If I can say one thing, don't be so hard on yourself, and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Life is long, and short, depending on how you look at it. It's long if you see opportunities, have patience, hope and confidence in yourself. It's short if you take the modern/ Western route of drugs, money, promiscuity and instant-dopamine hits. Slight tangent.

But trust me, there's guys out there waiting for a traditional and conservative woman like you. In fact, I would go as far as to say that you are a bigger asset in your country, than in countries where the Red Pill is more prevalent. In terms of the college thing, I have to agree with you. This is why I chose a small state school despite being accepted to a prestigious party school. Also, college is no longer education, most of it is blatant indoctrination and a business.

If you continue being yourself, high value men will find you. They will likely make the first move, unless it's like a coworker or something like that, you kind of catch glances and see where things go from there. You can sniff out the Blue Pillers often within a couple minutes of typical banter. And time is on your side! The more you observe and experience, the more you will learn and perfect your game.

LateralThinker13 · 2023-02-25T07:41:02+00:00

College isn't the right place to find high value masculine men anyways.

Untrue. Men deep into their STEM or graduate degrees, who are on the right path, are wholly ripe for investing into if they have good values as well. Get them before their value eclipses yours. These are the exception to most men in their 20s, who have little to offer.

WritersWriteStuff · 2023-02-20T08:51:43+00:00

darn beta males!!

AutoModerator · 2023-02-20T06:00:49+00:00

Title: acknowledging my ignorance as a feminine woman in the modern dating world

Full text: Hey everyone, I've been thinking a lot and my perspective on dating has changed a lot. I was completely been ignorant to what it would be like to date as a young feminine woman. I thought it would be so easy because I'm doing all the right things and so my future husband would come along quickly. But what I needed to understand was that a lot of things are out of my control and we don't exist in a vacuum.

My flawed way of thinking was the idea that there must be something wrong with me. I observe couples and the girls that have boyfriends and I compare myself to them in hopes that I can find out what's missing in me. So then I can change and upgrade myself to become more desirable or dateable. I don't know how to justify why i decided stopped that. It's just wrong cause I have no idea who they are actually as people.

I was basically on a mission to become perfect. Although I partly made changes to become a healthier person for myself...most of them was largely motivated by the idea of love. In my head I was thinking if all the ways I can become better for my future person which I liked and enjoyed doing. I don't really see anything wrong with that. But my mistake was thinking that I would get a lot of offers of love for it.

Truth is despite having what I believe to be massive flaws...I'm a rare girl especially in my country where the men value women that are bigger, more promiscuous, loud and aggressive bla bla bla.

While I'm very small, feminine, slim, quiet and more conservative and very traditional. Majority of guys are going to look past me, they won't even approach me because I'm seen as very innocent and virginal (if that's a word).

All this to say, it's gonna take a lot of patience to find my match. I'm learning to develop a certain about of confidence even when I don't have anyone pursuing me because I know that it isn't because no one wants me or that I'm not desirable but because I am a valuable one.

College isn't the right place to find high value masculine men anyways.

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lightradiance1 · 2023-02-20T22:39:59+00:00

Deflowering innocence is extremely erotic for men. If you advertised your innocence and virginity, you'd have more success.

Title	acknowledging my ignorance as a feminine woman in the modern dating world
Author	reflectiveraisin
Upvotes	11
Comments	24
Date	February 20, 2023 6:00 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/116z8ad/acknowledging_my_ignorance_as_a_feminine_woman_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/acknowledging-my-ignorance-as-a-feminine-woman-in.1152020 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152020

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