I am new to this sub and men's rights in general. I feel I am just now waking up from a long four year nightmare and starting to understand what happened to me. I was in a relationship with an unstable woman who abused me. She was very manipulative and a master at using the system to her advantage. She was a special needs teacher and understood a lot about the psychology field. She used this knowledge to befriend any counselors I/we went to and was able to gain their favor so that my complaints were not heard or easily twisted around. Unfortunately I could not see this at the time and believed for most of the relationship that I was the problem

After perusing this sub I have come to understand the hypocrisy of the feminist woman's movement and that I was a victim to not only my abusive partner but a society that did not take my position seriously, discriminated against me, and did not offer any help or way out.

When I met this woman I know now how she fooled me into thinking she was a different person than she really was. Our early relationship seemed normal, with some red flags I did not recognize at the time. After about 6 months into the relationship I left for Army boot camp. During this time we wrote each other and talked on the phone and everything was fine. I came home a year later because I was discharged for mental heath issues, mainly depression with some psychosis. Yes, she knew how to pick victims who were weak and that she could control.

When I arrived home I moved in with her and we started arguing, mostly she wanted me to get out and start working right away, when I needed some time in therapy groups and psychiatrists to get my brain under control. She was using my car to go to work, which I left with her when I Went to the Army. One day after an argument, I tried to leave with the car and go to my parents. As I was walking to leave she physically blocked me from the door and when I lightly bumped into her she fell down purposefully. She got up, went to he phone, started crying, and told 911 that I was beating her.

The police came and mostly talked to her and listened to her story while she sobbed. She had no marks on her whatsoever. She told them I used drugs, which was a lie. The police asked if I hit her and I said no, she just called them so that she could keep my car. After conferring they handcuffed and arrested me. I'm sure a recent case in the area where an abusive man killed his wife had an influence on their decision. This is the first time I had been arrested in my life. I received charges of harassment and menacing. After the whole intake process I sat in a jail cell for a few hours and then was driven in handcuffs to see a judge who set a court date.

Now I am at my parents but need my car so that I could continue with healing and understanding my depression. She eventually dropped the charges and apologized. She said she was not trying to keep my car, she only was trying to keep me from driving and hurting myself. She convinced me to move back with her. Of course it only got worse.

During arguments she now did not have to block the door to keep me from leaving. All she had to do is say that if I left, she would have me arrested again. I knew from last time I did not want the police involved. She began physically and mentally abusing me. The physical abuse was more erratic, and there was no telling what would set her off. One time while she was hitting me I grabbed her arms and tried to hold her down. This left bruises on her arms and she used this to threaten me until they faded away. From then on, when she started swinging, I just covered up and let her go till she was out of breath.

I felt there was nothing I could do, no one I could talk to without being ridiculed, and no place that could offer me help. She would call my psychiatrist and leave messages and lie about what I was doing. She would tell them I was on drugs and not taking my medication and lying to them. She did this to deflect any attention my complains could bring to her. But the real threat of arrest and jail time kept me mostly silent and kept me under her control. This went on for two years until she met another man and moved in with him a few months ago.

I am just now coming to terms with what happened to me. This sub has given me a lot of information and facts, and has helped greatly to understand how the deck was stacked against me from the start. I feel I am now brave enough to tell my story, stop blaming myself, and begin healing. Thanks for reading my long post.