Just joined OKCupid last week, and, with the hits I've been getting, was feeling cocky and booked two dates tonight: one at 6pm and another at 8pm. The second one was a second date with a girl with whom I had an Okay first date.

Date #1: I showed up 20 minutes late because I lost track of time (unusual for me) and my date was at the bar with two seats reserved. We talked for 1.5 hours with uninterrupted banter. I maintained excellent frame, teased her a bit about some perceived flaws, and by the end of the night we were booking a second date to see Book of Morman. I told her I was seeing friends at 8pm, so we walked out and she gave a very sweet kiss.

Strengths: Excellent frame, good confidence, good "negging"/teasing, maintained dominance.

Weaknesses: Very few, if any.

Date #2: Last Monday, I had a date with this girl and showed up hung over from partying with friends the night before. The date was mediocre since I was exhausted, but pulled it together and we got "lost" in discussion. Very little sexual tension, and we had an awkward goodbye. I thought I'd text her a few days later and see if we could get it together tonight.

I showed up tonight on cloud-9 after my first date. Feeling extraordinarily charismatic, had excellent banter with her, great frame, I was flirting with the bartender in front of her (she seemed to like it), and after an hour, she literally had her legs squeezed between mine. And then I lost it.

She went on this 30 minute rant about her family and how successful they are: house on an island, parents who went to ivy-league schools, her fancy house, etc, etc... She painted her childhood as flawless, elite, and super wealthy, and I 100% lost my frame. I became introspective, brooding about my family, and my body language showed it: I found myself pushing her legs out from between mine, and closing off my arms/legs and getting very emotionally distant. I tried honesty, telling her that although my family is well off, we don't have that kind of healthy family relationship. She tried to validate me, but I became very..... beta?

We both bantered a bit, trying to get the chemistry up, but it was mostly lost. I paid the bill, we got her things, and I walked her back to her place. Here's the kicker: she stuck out her hand for a shake. "You're giving me a handshake?" I said. "I'm just kidding," she said, and gave me a hug. "Have I good night," and I turned back toward my car.....

Lessons learned: We all carry baggage. All of us: insecurities, imperfect families, physical faults, etc. I let my imperfect home-life bring down my frame. I clearly showed that her wealth/family made me feel subordinate to her, and that's very difficult to comeback from. I'm tempted to send her a message on OKCupid, but there's really very little I can say. I'm pretty sure this date is killed in action. It's a shame, since I was really digging her for most of the date.

What I would do differently: During her rant, I went deep inside myself. I should have stopped her and teased her a bit to help keep her "on the same level" and to make sure that I don't get too introspective. Alternatively, we could have changed venues to keep things alive.