You can find Part 1 here!

You can find Part 2 here!

I decided to come back and give an update on my situation. It's not good, which might not be a surprise given the climate around this sort of thing. Believe it or not, I was optimistic until very recently because it looked like we were making some progress until last week.

Summary

For those who don't want to read the backlog, here's the summary. I gave up everything to go to college for the first in my 30's. I found a particular school that had a program that seems to fast track people directly into the job field I am looking to get into. I ended up moving out of my house to be closer to campus, and to afford this I took a gig taking care of two other traditional students who had very poor life skills and other issues. The reason for this was because it is an open secret that the dorms at this small private college are a drug haven well beyond normal college experimentation. This is due to a mixture of affluent students from private schools with lots of disposable cash and the school's physical proximity to the heart of the major city it sits in. I also began to date one of the seniors on campus that was a in the same program, and I had met a friend that was also technically inclined and started doing freelance I.T. around the area and had started a small business for income.

For about 8 months it was the most amazing time of my life. I was doing well in classes, studying what I loved, I had an awesome girlfriend of whom I shared everything in common, and I was one of the most popular people on campus. But then cracks started to show. I learned that I was actually the side guy and the girl had another long term boyfriend way out of town, and she had a lot of other mental stability and addiction issues. One of the reasons why I was popular was because everyone felt like they could talk to me, but I learned that people didn't trust the school administration to handle basically anything and everyone started to lean on me to solve problems unofficially around campus. This got so bad that parts of the administration began to send students to me expressly for this purpose, something I never signed up for, and I found myself sending people back to campus resources so much that I began to be known on a first name basis with campus security and other student service staff.

Eventually the two students I lived with got out of control, I couldn't keep them out of the drugs and booze, and the girl actually stalked me after I broke up with her. She followed me around online, she broke through the outer security of the apartments and sat outside my door waiting for me (wasn't even the first time I dealt with this with students, another set of students that lived in the same apartments did the same thing earlier and I ended up calling the cops), and she then resorted to lying about me threatening her, sexually harassing her, and she got one of her friends to lie about me stalking them to get me kicked out of class.

Around this time the students I was taking care of cooked up a plan to terminate the lease, which I found out by accident and contacted the parents who didn't know what was going on. After that didn't work, I confronted them about it, they lied about it rather poorly, and then I discovered that a large number of the students in the group knew that they had wanted to get rid of me for a while. I hadn't really paid much attention because of all of the stress I was under, but people had begun avoiding me. It turned out that the ex and the roommates had gotten together and decided that the best way to get rid of me would be to ruin my reputation. Being an older man and a liberal school, it was really easy to poison the pool so to speak, and it worked marvelously.

When I found out I blew up at them. I didn't say anything remotely threatening, but I was mean and very honest. I really underestimated the lack of resilience they had, and they tried to use this as evidence that I was violent and dangerous. They went to campus security and it didn't really work, so they called the cops, and that didn't work ether. I had been with two witnesses all night as I began to uncover all of this, and that kinda upended whatever story they had told them, so they left without even giving me any kind of warning.

This is when I started to receive information, screenshots, and tons of evidence from people on the inside of the group of just how coordinated this was. That didn't stop the Dean of Students from showing up on my doorstep two days later and coercing me out of my private apartment lease under threat of expulsion. I then lost almost all of my personal property and from this point forward I have been homeless, sleeping in basements and on people's couches.

Since then, any attempt to clear my name has been met with roadblocks by the administration. This is despite the fact that I was tipped off about the lies about stalking early on, and I turned off my Android privacy settings so it would record everywhere I have been on Google Maps, and kept an alibi around. So when they sprang the trap, I was prepared and was able to prove when and where I was every time they made a false accusation. This kept me in class.

Then they made up some rape fantasy story that I never wrote, that they have regular public readings about in the dorms! Because of this the school had me file a Title IX against the students, which did fuck all. In the end, even with a full written confession from my ex, the Dean buried it. In fact once she saw the confession she slammed the folder down and kicked me out of her office. Not coincidentally, her and one of her friends who lied about the stalking, donated a lot of money to the school shortly afterwards.

At one point they even called me in like I had a gun on campus, which didn't pan out, but even the Director of Security couldn't get the administration to do anything about this.

New Events

As I managed to survive into a new semester, I wondered what kind of hostile environment I was walking into. It was like night and day from the life I lead a year ago. People avoid me, people signed out of classes I was in because they were afraid of me, a few students have even transferred over it. That's when I was confronted with the nasty rumor that I had two Title IXs filed against me. To prove this wrong, I went and had the only Title IX filed, mine against them, printed out with all of the relevant documentation. That lead to me getting these conversations where it was discovered that the university didn't even inform the accused that a Title IX had been filed at all! It was literally just filed away and forgotten immediately.

But because people genuinely thought I was a sexual predator, this group of students had started stalking me and reporting my location around campus in real time.. But that's not the creepiest part. The creepiest part is that some of these students harbored violent thoughts about me. In this post about how to ruin a date, they joked about the thought of me "not being shot" as a sexual turn off. They also joked about me not being a victim..

Why are they making fun of me being a victim? Well, I had long opened up about my situation on social media, and the fact that on top of this I am a male victim of rape. It had happened with a previous SO from long ago, and one experience with this recent ex moved into the realm of sexual assault when she forced herself on to me physically while we were both intoxicated.

So I took all of this to the police, who filed a police report, got in touch with the attorneys who helped me file with the DoE against the school way earlier, and I informed the school what was going on. I was sick of what was going on, so I wrote an open letter to the president of the school and tagged relevant faculty and administration and demanded action with all of the above evidence and much more attached.

And hardly anything happened. They "sanctioned" the girl who who made the threat, but did not even remove her from my class. They also wouldn't let me know it was safe to return to campus until I pushed for an answer, and after missing a week of class the Dean simply suggested that if I had a problem with what was going on that I could withdraw. I met with the Dean shortly thereafter, when I learned that the group had doxxed this very account and were stalking me on Reddit and attempted to prevent me from getting assistance, (Hello, btw!) and she refused to let me look at the police report or give me any information from their discussions with the local police department.

We then learned that she told these students and the offender that they were not in any real trouble, despite the school expelling students for less in the past!

So this got the DoE involved. We filed with OCR, and for those not in the know, OCR hardly ever does anything in these cases. Mine is an exception, because after this they immediately set up mediation. That was Monday. It didn't go well. I can't actually talk about what happened, but it didn't go well in the way you think it would have. That's about all I can say. Now there are potentially all kinds of bad repercussions for everyone involved as I plan my next step.

Other bullshit the university has been up to!

We discovered some other odd things about the university while we were preparing our complaint to OCR. First of all, we wondered if my Title IX was the only Title IX that was buried. We discovered that they had been filing these things away without lifting a finger for a while, and several stalking incidents and quite possibly a full on rape has been buried. When the students were coming to me with their issues they mentioned a "rape trail" near the dorms. I thought they were exaggerating about a poorly lit section of campus through some woods, but no, there is in fact a trail where numerous rapes are known to have occured that the university refuses to do anything about.

I discovered that I was on a "students of concern" list. Students of concern lists are not super uncommon, but usually universities give these students therapy or ensure they get proper attention. This university on the other hand had just been keeping this list all to themselves, reported it to no one, and they just have campus safety officers and a limited amount of staff just report back about the day to day goings on of these students. That means that not only have I been stalked by the students, I have also been stalked by the university this whole time too! It's so creepy.

What does it take to be on this list? Not much. There's another adult student on this list, a former combat veteran on the G.I. Bill. What landed him on the list was that he changed the footer of his email to Make America Great Again because he was a Trump supporter. When he questioned this, the excuse they gave him was that they were afraid of him because of his combat experience and PTSD, which seems highly prejudicial.

You know how they wouldn't let me look at the police report? Well they did the same thing to a student that lived in the dorms during a break in. They even gave him a lot of lip about publicly complaining about how insecure they are and the lack of lighting behind the dorms, and how easy a break in can happen.

On top of all of this, despite a recent endowment of $50 million by a donor, the school seems to be in financial trouble. But this is super hush hush, as the dean has instructed the school newspaper that they are forbidden to write about it. This is actually a violation of the First Amendment and there is a lengthy case history on how universities are not allowed to restrict speech like this.

The future

I'm looking into transferring. I'm still struggling to make it day to day. I'm also considering my next legal options since the mediation fell through. It's been one hell of a ride though. Very illuminating on how inhuman men can be treated when we are victims.

Thanks for reading!