Hi, my name is Josh and i’m 16 from West Sussex at the time attending a college in Surrey doing my A Levels of Maths Politics and Physics. A few days from Halloween last year I attended a party. I was drinking and so was the girl who accused me, initials F.S., she was no more or less drunk than I was however we were both still functioning and more tipsy borderline drunk if that makes sense. Anyway, we kissed at multiple points during the night and then some people who were also staying decided to go to sleep, we stayed up as well as a few others. The others went off to get pizza and about 10-15 minutes after they left (they took ages) one thing ended up leading to another and we did other things which she mentioned in the police report and says happened consensually. These things were pretty much every except penetrative sex, I asked for consent with each thing, even with a hug as my Dad raped my Mum and so was raised to do so… I will reiterate ‘EXCEPT sex’. The worst thing is she literally told me she wanted to have sex but not unless I had a condom and despite me having one I said I didn’t as was unsure because we had both had alcohol that night and I more knew of her than knew her before this party in a mutual friend scenario through college.

I found out about the allegation through the colleges head of safeguarding and intervention, E.M., who assured me as far as she knew the police had dropped it as she decided to no longer carry on with the case. She changed her mind. I find this out through my mum getting a phone call from the police asking to speak with me, I was given a caution and asked for a voluntary chat, I decided to get a solicitor despite being told it was not necessary by the Police as I realised the seriousness of the allegations and I was scared, the solicitor said answer no comment to any question as I am not familiar with how to word any answer in a way that cannot be used against me and so to just go with a pre-prepared statement written by him as dictated by me.

Then, a few weeks later I was asked to submit a DNA sample as she took a DNA sample herself a few days after said night, I did so.

When the college found out that the police had got back involved it all began. I was called into a meeting with E.M. again in which I was told I was now BANNED from all but one of five parts of the college canteen. I was also banned from the college smoking area and restricted to my lessons and the library only, despite if I had any free periods. It was after this that college started nit picking almost… I had gone from no negative contact from anyone with authority at college to what felt to be my every step being monitored. Any slight bit of being out of line, any lessons missed or anything whatsoever I would be called out for.

This situation heavily impacted me and my mental well-being due to the stuff with my father and the fact that I was walking around college just sensing the whispers and the stares and the rumours floating around amongst the other students there. This caused me to suffer tremendously with anxiety and depressive episodes to the point where I tried the worst, something that nobody is aware of. This therefore impacted my attendance as I would literally have panic attacks over going to class and what that would entail regarding the accusation.

In February of this year DNA and CCTV evidence got my acquitted of all charges.

The measures stayed in place.

I was then told, with my attendance at 85% that if I missed a single lesson I would effectively be giving up my place at the college. I have friends who are boys who have been in the same position with attendance. I have girl friends who have 50-60% attendance and have had nothing but a warning about it with them literally just skipping lessons. Yesterday morning I had an asthma attack. They excluded me.

The main points of this are as follows:

  • The college putting in place the bans, almost a form of punishment, despite me not being found guilty or innocent of any charges at that time.
  • The college maintaining the band despite my innocence being proven beyond a doubt.
  • The difference in treatment between boys and girls regarding attendance with the all female safeguarding and principal team.
  • The effect of the false accusation.

Do you think this is unfair or do you think I am clutching at straws and do you think that there is anything I can do.