I've had this issue ever since I could remember. When I was a kid, I was giant, sorta chubby, badly dressed/groomed, badly socialized. I was basically trained to not even look at any women outside my family in the eye on pain of a beating. (Very religious). All these things I think may be fucking me up today.

Puberty did right by me, I've grown to 6'5 and through many hours lifting, and spending on clothing/grooming have become objectively a decently attractive guy. Usually always the best dressed, in best shape/tallest guy in every room even though I definitely don't have elite facial aesthetics.

In terms of disposition, I've never had any issues with being a "nice guy" like many seem to here. After hanging out with friends who were alpha as fuck, I mimicked their mannerisms and eventually made them my own. I have little/no fear of any men now, and mostly any women when talking and general interacting. Folks generally seem to defer to me.

But the act of becoming sexual with women and making my desires clear to them still shocks me. It's absurd. I will provide a couple of examples:

  1. Dorm elevator, Saturday night HB7, her touching my chest, telling me my eyes look pretty. Both drunk, I know that unless I do something right now, I will be forced to get sexual with her because we are headed back to my room.

Mind goes into a tailspin. I make an excuse to go back downstairs and the moment is lost.

  1. Girl invited me over to her house. She emphasizes that nobody is home FOR A WEEK. When I show up, she is dressed up sluttily with full makeup even though it's a Sunday and she just woke up. We end up hanging for a while smoking and chit chatting, and the time arrives for me to escalate and I just cannot. I make an excuse for us to leave, and she says "Wait you dont want to stay here"?

I literally cannot get out of my own fucking way. I can't even kiss them. For the longest time, a hot girl trying to even hug me, touch my stomach or arm made me literally sweat buckets. I would never initiate because of this. Thank god thats over with, but when the time arrives to make a move, I innately sense that shit and run in the other direction.

Everything outside of being sexual I can do pretty well. I can talk to and make friends pretty well. I can polarize and generally portray DGAF in every other aspect of my life. The worst part is that everyone buys it.

My friends who slay are always talking amongst ourselves about girls. I can get girls to send me sexual texts and Snaps, and because of that and how well I can speak/how attractive I am everyone believes that I'm some slayer, when that's not actually the case, because at the last second, I always freeze up, and I am afraid to truly put my balls on the line, for fear of I guess rejection, or not truly being good enough to get with hot girls.

Even just speaking to hot girls as friends, and displaying DGAF there, I can do it no problem. It's just when the time for escalating comes, I cannot pull the trigger for the life of me.

TRP has been great for helping me improve my SMV, and other areas. But I still haven't busted through this issue. Let me know any advice or thoughts you guys have here. I am truly sick and want to advance through this phase.