Claiming 'acts of service' as a love language: LVM red flag?

Platipus6 · 2021-02-08T04:48:35+00:00

imo there are 3 separate things.

Adulting (for yourself) - things you'd do if you were single - your own laundry, dentist appointments, writing your resume.

'For the house' - mowing the lawn, vacuuming all the carpets, organizing contractors.

'Acts of service' (for you)- small things - making a cup of tea, foot rub, setting out your candles before your bath, scraping ice off your windshield, putting your towel in the dryer before you shower.

If a man starts mixing them all up and claiming he feels loved when a woman writes his resume and keeps the house spotless, he's saying he feels loved when he has a slave. He feels good knowing he tricked a woman into taking over his responsibilities.

If he can list specific, personal, thoughtful acts that make him feel loved, sure, it might be his love language.

If he mixes up his acts and claims "but I mowed the lawn, why aren't you in the mood for sex", he's idiotic, transactional, and has resentment issues regarding just being kind to you because he loves you.

candyfox84 · 2021-02-08T05:11:12+00:00

No straight man reads that book unless required by a (justified) disgruntled ex 🤣just my two cents.

2021-02-08T13:51:19+00:00

Nah. The key is that, if something is your love language, you’ll find yourself doing that for others a lot, instinctively, if you love them or even just want them to like you.

If acts of service are his LL, he’s the guy who called your uber for you, already looked up the artist you mentioned to see when they’re exhibiting in your city, and already changed the oil in your car on a whim - or whatever his skill set is (and you’ll know what it is).

If he’s a mooch, he will do as little as possible and constantly badger you to show love for him. His interest in your love language will be exactly as high as he has to get it for as long as he has to get it for your clothes to come off. And he will try to “coupon” his way into that scenario early - “but I did this! But I did this! But this should count!”

Title	Claiming 'acts of service' as a love language: LVM red flag?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	10
Comments	9
Date	February 8, 2021 4:30 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lf418o/claiming_acts_of_service_as_a_love_language_lvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/claiming-acts-of-service-as-a-love-language-lvm.1192559 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192559

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