Benefits to marriage for women?

RexMcRider · 2019-11-05T19:51:40+00:00

The biggest benefit is that, by and large, the marriage ceremony is like tapping a money keg.

Which never runs dry.

RoryTate · 2019-11-05T21:10:44+00:00

A lot of the most extreme unfairness to married men happens in divorce, since during the marriage in theory the partnership should be reasonably equal between a man and a woman. However, the reality is that even before a separation there are a lot of benefits for women.

She has full run of the house. Seriously, most husbands find themselves relegated to the basement (man cave) or garage, and are not welcome in their own dwellings. My father spent the last decade or more of his life living in a camper, while my mother stayed in the house. Like many men who travel for work, my brother has been experiencing this banishment for years now when he tries to return to his "wife's house" after the work ends. Most married men are practically homeless when judged by this metric.
The DV silver bullet. A woman can at any time falsely accuse a man of domestic violence, and he is immediately imprisoned, while she has a wealth of services available to support her. My mother actually used this threat for almost thirty years against my father – I heard her state it directly several times to him – so that she could physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse him without consequence.
Women have the final say in any matters regarding child rearing. This matters in a surprising number of ways, whether using the children as pawns to win almost any disagreement, or simply having them raised as she thinks is right. For example, a year ago my coworker revealed several months after his first child was born that he hoped he would get at least "one week" of paternity leave, since his wife wouldn't let him have any, as it would take away from her time off work. Like most fathers, he deferred to her in those matters.
Husbands cannot have close friendships with other men or women, or else they are not "putting enough effort into the marriage". I have heard the phrase "My wife won't let me go out this weekend" too many times to count, but if the reverse ever happened it would be seen as domestic abuse.
Women can cheat on their husbands and society will side with them by default, and believe that he did something to force her into infidelity. However, a man who cheats is automatically scum for betraying her trust.
For the majority of successful marriages, the man must work hard to achieve a high enough status to hold the woman's interest. She, however, can choose to work or stay at home or any combination of those things, without consequence.

Now once a divorce happens, many of the issues I listed above are magnified exponentially, plus major new benefits for women are introduced.

Alimony and child support kick in at levels that leave most divorced men living below or near the poverty line. On the other hand, she gets free money without having to do anything in return.
The man is almost always the one forced to find a new place to live, while she keeps the home without any reasonable compensation in return. He loses neighbours, a community, and much more in this relocation process that is completely invisible to most people.
The silver bullet of a DV accusation means that any judge will immediately side with her in any legal dispute during the divorce.
She receives social capital by being a "single mom", while he is only considered a "deadbeat dad" or at best objectified as a walking ATM for his children.
She can eventually choose to remarry if she finds someone of even higher status and wealth, or she can stay single and just have short term companionship to meet her needs for intimacy. He, however, has no reasonable opportunity to find a new mate and restart his life, as his sinking fate is already written out for him.

There's more I could probably add in both phases, but that should give a good idea of the reality of the marriage imbalance towards women I believe.

Oncefa2 · 2019-11-06T00:05:49+00:00

Written by a woman: "5 reasons every woman should marry and 1 reason she might not".

https://thoughtcatalog.com/janet-bloomfield/2015/04/5-reasons-every-woman-should-marry-and-1-reason-she-might-not/

You might also find some of these links useful.

A study that refutes the claim that being married increases a man's income:

Ludwig, V., & Brüderl, J. (2018). Is there a male marital wage premium? New evidence from the United States. American Sociological Review, 83(4), 744-770. Abstract: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122418784909?journalCode=asra&

The tldr is that it amounts to golddigging; women simply marry men who make more money.

Men spend more total time working, doing chores, and raising kids than women do, leaving women with more time to themselves outside of these activities

Pew Research Center (2019, June 12). For both moms and dads, more time spent on child care. Pew Research Center. [Online] Available from: https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/ft_18-05-01_fathersday_time/ Accessed June, 12, 2019.

Time spent in paid and unpaid work, by sex https://stats.oecd.org/index.aspx?queryid=54757 oecd

VerBruggen, R. (2019, June 11). The Myth of the 'Lazy' father. Institute for Family Studies. Retrieved October 21, 2019, from https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-myth-of-the-lazy-father

Nagging, controlling and manipulative behavior (aka "the plantation")

https://becauseits2015.wordpress.com/2016/12/11/yes-dear-henpecked-husbands-and-one-sided-relationship-dynamics/

Womon control most marriages and relationships

Morin, R., & Cohn, D. (2008). Women call the shots at home; public mixed on gender roles in jobs. Pew Research Center.[Online] Available from: https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2008/09/25/women-call-the-shots-at-home-public-mixed-on-gender-roles-in-jobs/ Accessed March, 10, 2010.

The Scotsman (2011, March 1). Women decide to rule the roost. Retrieved October 21, 2019, from https://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle-2-15039/women-decide-to-rule-the-roost-1-1503380

When a husband and a wife disagree about something, the wife usually gets her way, often using tactics of manipulation, gaslighting, the threat of divorce, and abuse

Vogel, D. L., Murphy, M. J., Werner-Wilson, R. J., Cutrona, C. E., & Seeman, J. (2007). Sex differences in the use of demand and withdraw behavior in marriage: Examining the social structure hypothesis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 54(2), 165. Available from: https://public.psych.iastate.edu/ccutrona/psych592a/articles/Vogel%202007.pdf

Misc:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/10927507/Women-are-more-controlling-and-aggressive-than-men-in-relationships.html?fbclid=IwAR1zlTkxvaKYPzFCVIntaRBFvY3adKOX25fUtlZY-RXnO47fLg91w95hlzE

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relationships/11401315/At-home-women-treat-men-as-if-they-are-barely-competent.html

White_Mlungu_Capital · 2019-11-05T20:28:39+00:00

Title	Benefits to marriage for women?
Author	White_Mlungu_Capital
Upvotes	10
Comments	12
Date	November 5, 2019 7:45 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ds4fc8/benefits_to_marriage_for_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/benefits-to-marriage-for-women.1202943 https://theredarchive.com/post/1202943

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