Jealous GF

anylegtypes · 2018-01-06T19:58:44+00:00

The answer to both these questions is very situational.

Is this a good position to be in or not?

If you have any need to demonstrate value to her, this is probably good. It shows that you have other friends, potentially other girls interested in you, and generally have a life outside the relationship. On the other hand, if she is interested in other men, she might take this as an excuse to ramp up her interaction with them (thinking that you're doing it too), and place less stock in the relationship as you are potentially unreliable.

It's good for a relationship for partners to be somewhat jealous at any point (as it keeps them putting effort into the relationship), but how any particular incident of jealousy will play out is hard to judge. You'll have to gain that understanding with experience - no internet forum will be able to communicate it fully to you.

Additionally, if your girlfriend's self-esteem is low or vulnerable, this could make her feel quite bad about herself. You presumably don't want that, if you like her as a person and want her to be happy.

What should I do?

Most likely nothing, but you didn't really give us many details to go on.

This could be a good opportunity to set boundaries, and asset that you will text your friends if you want to, and that relationships shouldn't be built on paranoia and checking the partner's messages. Establishing a strong frame of independence and self-respect is always helpful. However, don't get cringey or awkward about this - if you're not currently talking about the subject, sending her a lengthy message basically shouting at her that she has no right to intrude will just come off really defensive and weird instead.

If your girlfriend is feeling bad or worried about this, it would probably be nice to pair the boundary-setting with something else to make her feel good about the strength of the relationship. Take her on a fun date, write her a loving poem, have really hot sex with her with great eye contact, etc. Realise that what she is looking for is comfort, and there are many more ways to offer this while still maintaining the freedom to text your friends.

The more importance you place on this incident, the more importance she will place on this incident. Don't overreact or inject too much emotion into it. Just be chill, tell her your female friend is just a friend if the subject comes up, and bring the relationship back to good times. I'd probably only bring the boundary-setting thing up if she turned it into a fight; don't be the one to turn it into a fight yourself.

CutLiver · 2018-01-06T08:14:55+00:00

Nope. Jealous girls = insecure girls.

It's nothing to freak out about, but keep an eye on it.

She'll probably try to one-up you. She might text a "guy-friend" to get a coffee.

Personally I don't deal with jealous girls anymore. But that's just me.

GayLubeOil · 2018-01-06T08:47:15+00:00

Refer to her as jelly Bean reframe the problem into a joke

Rares5555 · 2018-01-06T14:41:25+00:00

My advice is amused mastery. If you’ve set good frame, nagging her lightly about her jealousy with this seems fun to me. Did it, still do.

aurelius_shrugs · 2018-01-07T01:10:14+00:00

She’s manipulating you.

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-01-06T13:15:06+00:00

She have side dick.

Conor_Niggregor · 2018-01-06T05:42:38+00:00

Is this a good position to be in

no

what should I do?

nothing

Title	Jealous GF
Author	Bakers77
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	January 6, 2018 5:37 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7ohe8c/jealous_gf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/jealous-gf.121471 https://theredarchive.com/post/121471

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