After my mom died last year, it was very traumatic to witness the way she died. There was only my big sister left, originally my half sister, but we has always been close. My other sister died more than 20 years ago. And when I was little my father died in an accident. I was treated better by my mom, than my sister was, I never denied that. My mom has her own issues. Me and my sister always was able to talk about it, in a open way, back when our mom was a live.

After our mom died, she has been sooo mean towards me. She patronize me, and I have tried to ask her what I have done. She said I don't get it, that I'm a selfish, that I'm retarded and so on. I began to figure shortly after our mom died, she only asked, when the court is done, and when I get the statement, she wants a copy, fair enough, but it begins to feel like, it was only about money, even my mom only had few.

I withdraw from, for a long time. Then earlier this year, I tried to reach out to her again. I put up with her condescending texting and so on. 2 weeks ago I even called her, and the more she talked, the upset she became, and that I'm selfish and never get it.I even said to her, if it helps you, don't pay the money back you borrowed, I know you are struggling more than me financially. Let alone, I'm struggling with the grief, anxiety and my health, without any family left. Luckily I have a handful very good friends, I have known all my life, I really appreciate them.

One thing that really begins to bother me. Recently she began to texting my son's mother,( me and my sons mother talk frequently and have a good friendship) I find it very odd, my sister contact her in all kinds of different matters. Even telling my ex they wouldn't attend to my teenage son's celebration, even I send the invitation, and some other weird things. She even invites her to visit my sister, while I'm now feeling like an outcast.

There are soo many things I don't understand, and I really had tried to. I have used a fortune during the years, for all kinds of therapy, to heal my mind and body, I struggle with some stress related fatigue and dizziness, and I want to understand and heal my past, while my sister haven't tried that. Years ago she used alcohol to deal with that instead, that almost killed her. I was always the peacemaker in the family, and tried to please everyone, my mom, sisters and grandmother.

Yesterday I tried one last attempt to text my niece, her daughter, to figure out if she could tell me what was going on. I texted in a very kind and wondrous way, and many hours later, I got a condescending reply from her, "that I probably wouldn't be able to understand or listen to the answers". I decided first for her to tell me, shortly after texted Nevermind I don't need to know. And blocked her to, I really can't take any more hits. I'm begin to have a feeling, that my niece, had put gasoline on the fire between me and my sister, because she has no stake in the sorrow, when our mom died. She is very intelligent, but also very manipulative. I have seen that side of her before, many years ago, when she was a teenager. I thought she was becoming wiser.

I had now cut that part family completely out of my life. I can see now, that my sisters trauma in childhood, is now affecting her. And she blames me for everything our mom did. There is 10 years between us, so how can I be held account for my moms behaviour, when I only was a little boy back then. Let alone before my mom passed, my mom was sick for more than 20 years. I was the one that helped our mom, while my sister was living in the other end of the country, besides of that, I never blamed her.

I feel soo betrayed and like an outcast, and still my sister can't tell me, what I have done wrong, only that I'm very selfish, and egotistical and soo on, while she call me names. Its very traumatic and tough going through, because she is was the only one left of my family, besides my son. That now lives with me. I have sometimes when I been on my lowes, thought about suicide, because of all the pain adding up in my life. But of course would not, I have my lovely son, that needs his father.

I began to understand woman behaviour and why they can come with all kinds of falls accusations especially towards men. When a woman, it also includes family members, suddenly began to hate and feel resentful towards you, then no amount of reason and explanation can change that. Thats how the sisterhood works. My friend has read the text conversations between me and my sister, because sometimes I couldn't figure of if it was me, and afraid of losing my sanity. He said to me, probably they have changed there view on you, and you can't do anything about it. I just need to cut them out, before they ruin me more.

Sorry for the long rant